Chapter Text
Tony grew up hearing the story of how Anna and Jarvis met. He gave her his umbrella and had answered her thanks before she had said it out loud. Before their wedding, they decided to keep their soulmate link open between them and now communicated through it whenever they were apart.
Howard and Maria Stark met at one of his company’s functions. She had been hearing his voice the whole night, but could not figure out who he was. Howard, for his part, did not realize that he’d met his soulmate; there was too much to do and his thoughts overshadowed hers in his mind. Howard did not want to keep the link open once he figured it out; he did not want company secrets to be shared, even on accident, not even with his wife.
When Tony was seven and away at a boarding school for the first time, he began hearing a quiet hum in his mind. He knew that meant his soulmate was nearby but he couldn’t go and find them. He’d already been in trouble twice for sneaking out to the science lab. He’d find them the next morning.
When he woke up, however, the hum was gone. His mind was silent once again.
He heard it again when he was 17, but between the drinks and the grief, he did not recognize it for what it was.
Tony became an expert at ignoring the buzz that would sometimes invade his mind. And if he drank himself stupid those days, well… who could blame him? His soulmate had to know he was close, and if they had not approached him, it meant he wasn’t wanted. No matter, he did not need a soulmate. He was used to not being wanted.
After Afghanistan, Tony could count on one hand the number of times he’d heard the hum, and he’d have fingers left to spare. He began thinking it wasn’t actually his soulmate but something different. It would make sense, he had never heard words, he had never felt thoughts. Just a buzz, a hum, an eerie sort of loud silence.
The next time he heard it, Tony was in the middle of fighting the Winter Soldier and he could not spare more than a flitting thought to the sound. It wasn’t until Siberia that he realized the cruelty of fate; he turned to look at his soulmate and all he could hear from him were the words “I’m sorry; I’m so sorry.”
That day, Tony was angry; Tony was hurt; Tony wanted the silence of his mind back. He hated the words, he hated the world, he hated soulmates.
“Don’t bullshit me, Rogers! Did you know?!”
“Yes.”
Tony walked away. If he stayed, he would kill Rogers and his soulmate Barnes. He could hear words now, and he wished he didn’t.