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Steve doesn’t go without a shirt. He’s been asked by publications to do spreads for them, but when they tell him he will have to be shirtless, he quickly turns them down. Tony makes fun of him for that, calling him old fashioned and grandpa. Steve just shakes his head and walks away. He may not know a lot about soul marks, but he does know they are treated very personally now.
The only Avenger that’s seen him without a shirt is Natasha and she will never share what she knows. The only reason that she’s seen it is because she has no boundaries and when Steve was changing after a battle, she’d waltzed in to find him without a shirt. She swore that day that she would never tell anyone what she saw.
Everything is fine until a battle a few years later when his uniform is sliced open at the ribs. He didn’t even realize until later and by then, it was too late. Someone had gotten a picture and put it all over social media. “Rogers, you’re going to have to say something about this.”
Steve doesn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t want to deal with it, he doesn’t want to acknowledge what Natasha knows to be true. “Why?”
She flops down on the sofa next to him. “Because people are out there getting your shield tattooed on their bodies.”
“That sounds like a problem they will have to deal with.” He doesn’t look up from his sketch pad.
“In the last month, 37 women have shown up claiming to be your soul mate.” She’s on the verge of laughter, but tries to hold it in.
“I can’t help what they think they know.” When the picture had hit the media, both social and tv, Steve knew this would happen. When his uniform was damaged the picture had shown only the bottom part of the soul mark. Just enough for the general population to see that his soul mark looks like his shield. Commentary about it had been plastered all over the place. The fact that the idea for Cap’s shield had been his own soul mark sent people into a tailspin. “They saw what they wanted to and if they want to go have a tattoo done, it’s their money.”
Nat snorts and gets up to fix lunch. “You’re kind of a shit, Steve Rogers.”
“That’s what my ma told me.” She laughs all the way into the kitchen.
Steve’s soul mark looks like his shield, only it doesn’t have a star in the center. Natasha had commented after seeing it that it could be a family crest. Howard had almost copied it exactly for the shield, way back when, but in the end decided that what was really in the center should remain private to Steve. Steve stopped believing in soul mates a long time ago. About the time he decided to put the plane in the ice. He had to stop believing or the guilt of leaving behind someone that would never meet him would have stopped him.
Now, in the 21st century, he doesn’t really think about it or he didn’t until that picture showed up. After that, he found himself examining the soul mark for the first time in years. He traced it with his finger and looked closely at the lion at the center. Natasha was right, it did look like something from a family crest, but what good did that do him now.
The only other people that now know what is actually at the center of his soul mark are Dr. Cho and Bruce, who vet each of the women that come into the tower claiming to be Captain America’s soul mate. They look the tattoo over, well aware that it’s only a tattoo, and tell the women that it doesn’t match. Helen and Bruce have had more than one really annoyed and one really violent encounter. Thank god Bruce was on a mission that day. Natasha thinks it’s hilarious. Steve just tries not to think about it.
That is until Bruce invites Steve to join him at the Met. They spend the day wandering the galleries, eventually making their way into the European section. The paintings and sculptures are lovely, but nothing that really grabs Steve’s attention, until Steve rounds a statue and sees him. From a distance, he’s just a beautiful man, with striking eyes, but as Steve is drawn over to the painting, he notices color where he doesn’t expect it. Drawing closer to the painting, he sucks in a breath and stands in stunned silence.
Bruce makes his way over, seeing how mesmerized Steve seems to be and believes that the soldier’s inner artist is taking in the detail, but as he gets closer, he sees it too. Getting as close as he can, he inspects that section of the portrait. “Steve…is that…how can…”
Steve hangs his head. “Yeah, it appears it is.” Steve leans in, reading the placard.
‘James Barnes, Second Son of the Earl of Norbury, painted by his sister Rebecca Barnes Proctor, Duchess of Cork in 1878.’
“Jesus Steve, I-I don’t know what to say.” Bruce looks about as devastated as Steve should look, but Steve just looks resigned. It breaks the doctor’s heart to see.
“What’s to say, Bruce? I accepted I wouldn’t have a soul mate a long time ago. This just gives me closure.” Steve turns and walks away. Bruce keeps staring at the portrait. Looking around to make sure that no one can see, he pulls out his phone and takes three pictures, one of the whole portrait, one of the placard, and one of the forearm. He takes a minute to read a place card at the bottom of the portrait. It seems it isn’t a permanent part of the gallery, but is on loan from the current Earl of Norbury, George Barnes. It came to the gallery about the time that Steve’s soul mark ended up on social media. Bruce finds that curious.
When they return to the tower, Steve goes straight to his quarters and Bruce heads to his and Natasha’s. “What’s going on?” She sees and feels that Bruce is anxious.
Bruce stands there for several minutes then starts pacing. “JARVIS can you pull the last three photos I took on my phone?”
‘Of course, Dr. Banner. On screen.’
Nat gets close to the screen looking at each picture. The man in the portrait is striking, but Nat is confused why this is causing her soul mate to be so anxious. Blowing up the last one, she mumbles, “What the hell?” This, Nat realizes, is the start of a mystery that she needs to solve. A mystery that no one will believe, but she has the proof in front of her. “What are we going to do for him? Is it possible that the center is different from his? We can’t make it out clearly.”
Bruce rubs his forehead. “If the way he was staring at it is any indication, I’d say he knows it matches his. What are we going to do for him?”
Nat looks critically at Bruce. “We’re going to figure out how the universe made such a fucked up error.”
Not many people have the patience to do truly thorough research, but Natasha is one of those people. She learned a long time ago, the more you know, the less likely it is for someone to get the upper hand. This time though, she’s doing the research to figure out how something like this could happen. Certain aspects of the universe have always been constant: Earth doesn’t have the only life, Tony Stark will always be bigger than life, and soul mates are born in the same generation. It’s just the way of things, but this means that the universe well and truly fucked up and by doing it, fucked her best friend. That will not do. So, research.
She researches the Barnes family, along with the Proctor family. Maybe someone in the family knows enough history of past generations to confirm the soul mark. That leads her to New York and an apartment building in Manhattan. Then she researches any references to soul mates being born at the wrong time. The only information she finds is about soul marks with no match. It doesn’t happen often, but in the last few centuries, there are cases. Just not very many and all of those people died without their soul mate. That brings her back to the Barnes’s and Proctors.
That’s how she finds herself standing across the street from one of the most expensive and illustrious apartment buildings in Manhattan, with the exception of Stark Tower. She watches as people move in and out and she watches the doorman. He knows everyone and he seems to know the guests of the residence. Smirking, she makes her way across the street.
The doorman straightens as she comes towards him. It’s obvious that he doesn’t recognize her behind the sun glasses and hat, so he’s preparing to send her on her way. That makes her smirk even more, when she pulls the hat and glasses off. “Oh Jesus…you’re…”
Nat leans on the awning of the building. “I am indeed and you’re going to help me with a mystery, Bill.” He looks shocked that she knows him. “William Francis Billings, age 47, you’ve worked here since you were 23.”
She knows he’s about to wet himself. “W-w-what do you n-need?”
“I need you to tell me about the Barnes family that suddenly moved out of this building three years ago and if they are the same Barnes family that are heavily connected with the Duchess of Cork.” Nat looks down at her nails and back up at Bill with a smile.
Bill lowers his head, taking a deep breath. “Ms. Romanoff…”
“Call me Natasha.” She links her hand through his arm and pulls him along the sidewalk to the entrance.
“N-natasha, you have to understand, w-w-we were told that their location w-was secret and…and…and so I d-don’t know.” She would believe him except he’s sweating, in 37 degree weather.
“Bill, I really want this to be a friendly chat, but you know my background, everyone knows my background, so you know that if I don’t get what I want, things could get ugly for everyone.” Now he’s sweating more.
Nat can tell that he’s weighing the difference between pissing off his employer and pissing off Black Widow. She knows who’s going to win. “I really shouldn’t.”
“But you will.”
He nods, pulling her off to the side. “They moved to 81 Pierrepont Street. We weren’t told why they moved, just that they did.”
“And?”
“And the older Barnes, Rebecca, is the Duchess of Cork.”
Nat smiles sweetly at him, which only seems to make him more nervous. “Bill, you’ve been very helpful.”
She’s on her way to Brooklyn. “JARVIS, call Bruce for me.”
‘Of course.’
“Nat? Did you find anything?”
“I did indeed. It seems that when they moved out of Manhattan and into Brooklyn. Now we just need to find out why and what the hell is up with that painting.” Her foot presses harder on the gas pedal as she weaves through the traffic.
“Call me when you know something.” Nat disconnects the call and makes her way into Brooklyn. The Duchess of Cork living in Brooklyn, of all places, and no one seems to know. It’s very suspicious and more than that, it’s just weird. The title has been passed down from generation to generation, obviously, and whoever this family is, they’ve kept that under wraps.
Natasha’s expecting the place to be nice, but not this nice. In today’s market this place is at least 15 million, so whoever these people are now, they still have pull and money. Ringing the front bell, she’s expecting a butler or housekeeper, not the owner to open the door. That’s good information to have. Maybe they aren’t going to be upper crust douchebags.
“Hello Your Grace, I’m…” Before Nat can finish, the young woman is laughing.
“Oh for god sakes, don’t call me that.” The accent isn’t British, it’s very much New York. “And anyway, that would be my grandmother, not me. I told them someone would come, so get in here and let’s do this.”
Nat is, in a word, gobsmacked by the woman’s reaction. “Okay.” The woman leads her into a beautiful home, that’s lived in and not for show. There are toys both for a small child and a baby. They pass pictures hanging on the wall that Nat looks over. The oddity here is that the pictures are only of this woman and two others. There aren’t family photos or paintings hanging around from past generations. It’s just the three of them, plus two kids. Something about that feels off and Natasha doesn’t like to feel put off.
“I was going to make some coffee, you want some?” The woman comes back from the direction of what Natasha assumes is the kitchen and sees her looking at the pictures. Nat nods an affirmative to the coffee. “Not what you were expecting?”
“Not even a little bit and that puts me on edge.” Nat figures honesty is the best way to handle this.
The woman barks a laugh. “Well, once that partial soul mark showed up, I knew it was just a matter of time.”
“We must all accept that we do not always understand the nature of things, Ms. Romanoff.” Nat spins to see a stately woman coming down the stairs. This is what she expected to find when she rang the bell. The accent has a hint of British and very much aristocracy. “Ms. Romanoff, I am Rebecca Barnes Proctor, Duchess of Cork.” She extends her hand and Nat takes it. How is it possible that this woman has the exact same name as the artist? Natasha doesn’t like this situation and feels like there may be some danger here she didn’t really prepare for.
“Your Grace, I appreciate you seeing me.” The old woman smiles kindly at Nat. Nat is trying to figure out if it’s crazy to think that this is the same woman that painted that portrait. Inwardly laughing at herself, she comes to the conclusion that this is the artist’s namesake. That maybe they hyphenated the name through the generations.
“Thank you for your respect. It has been many years since anyone has called me that.” She links her arm with Natasha’s and guides the spy into the lounge. “Becca dear, I want tea and not that swill that you insist on drinking in the afternoons.” It makes Natasha snort because it seems very out of character for the older woman.
The younger woman, Becca comes into the room with coffee and tea. “Nana, you know I’m always going to fix you tea.” She kisses the older woman’s cheek. “I would never, ever fix you coffee.”
The front door opens and another woman comes into the lounge. “Winifred, we have a guest.”
If Nat is putting it together right, Becca is the daughter of Winifred and Winifred is the daughter of Rebecca. The resemblance is uncanny. “Well, shall we get started then?” Becca hands over a second cup of tea from the tray. Winifred looks at Natasha critically. “What do you want to know?” What Natasha can’t get to add up is how the women look at each other and at their guest. They’ve been expecting this and, sure, Steve’s soul mark is big news, but it seems to be more for these three.
It’s hours later that Natasha returns to the Tower. The sun has already set and dinner has been put away in the communal kitchen. She sits heavily on the chair at the table, looking out the window, but not really seeing. She’s so far into her own thoughts that she doesn’t hear Bruce. “Nat?”
She jumps and that puts Bruce on alert. If he snuck up on Black Widow, this situation is more complicated than he thought. “Hey.” He takes the seat next to her, taking her hands, kissing the knuckles of both. She smiles at him because she just can’t help herself. “There’s a lot to talk about, but I’d like to only do it once, so we need to see Steve.” Standing, Bruce pulls her up, kissing her lightly. For a few minutes she just clings to him.
Steve comes to the lift wearing his pajamas and carrying a pint of ice cream with the spoon sticking out of his mouth. “Nat? Bruce?”
She looks at the ice cream. “You got anymore of that?” And heads into the kitchen. She comes out with her own pint and two spoons then flops into the sofa. “We have to talk.”
Bruce joins her on the sofa, taking the offered spoon and Steve takes the chair, propping his feet up on the coffee table. “So talk.”
Huffing, Nat rolls her eyes. “Okay, so I did some digging.” Steve shoots a look at Bruce, who looks apologetic. “Before you go off, you really need to hear this.” Steve digs into the ice cream with a furrowed brow, but nods. “You need background before I tell you what I learned today. James Barnes was the second son of an Earl.” Steve looks up with fury. He knew this was about the soul mark, but he didn’t think she would overstep this bad. “Just wait, before you get all morally superior, let me finish.” He goes back to eating, cutting his eyes to Bruce, who looks even more apologetic than he did a few minutes ago. “Being the second son usually meant being sent off to seminary, but James didn’t want that. He fought his father and brother who finally caved and let him do what he wanted, which was to go to university.”
“Good for him.” Steve may not know the man and will never know the man, but he still feels connected to him.
“Yeah well, he ended up living with his sister, the one that painted the portrait. She was in a loveless marriage with a real asshole. Rebecca was born with a soul mark, but when she was about three it faded.” Steve’s brows go up in question. They all know what that means and Steve feels bad for a woman that he’ll never meet. “The husband was doing a little human trafficking and Rebecca didn’t like that, so after a few years, she ran. They had managed to squirrel away enough money to get her, James, and her daughter on a ship to New York. When they got here, James took a job with NYU. Rebecca took a job as an art instructor. Her job was very hush hush because women weren’t supposed to teach classes, but Rebecca was much smarter than most of the men taking her classes.” She waves her hand. “Anyway, everything was fine for a few years then one night he disappeared and Rebecca never saw him again. The police said that he was probably murdered or went back to England, but she insisted they didn’t know what they were talking about.”
Steve just stares at her for a few minutes. “Nat, why are you telling me this?”
She sits up, annoyed. “Because you need to understand that after my visit with his family today, I think something else happened. Something weird and unexplainable.”
Steve chuckles. “Well, we are in the weird and unexplainable business.”
Bruce adjusts his position and looks up at Steve. “Listen Steve, you and I both know that soul mates aren’t born this far apart. It just isn’t the way the universe designed them.”
“Yeah, but the universe also didn’t design me. Dr. Erskine did and that probably threw the universe for a loop.” Steve sits the now empty container of ice cream down on the table.
“Yeah, but you had that mark before the serum.” Bruce points the spoon at Steve. “That means this was the way it was designed from your birth.” Steve just gives a half shrug.
“Listen to me please.” Steve sits back and nods. “I met Rebecca Barnes Proctor, Winifred Barnes, and Becca Barnes today. Every generation of women since his disappearance have kept the family name. They do that because they all believe that he’s coming back.”
Steve barks a laugh and gets up going to the window. “Nat please, that’s just family doing what family does. They hold on to hope because they don’t have an explanation.”
“Then tell me Steve, how did they know about you?” She’s standing now, hands on her hips. He turns to her confused. “They have books, written by Rebecca Barnes and in it she wrote about a man named Steven, a good Irish boy, that was going to bring her brother home.” She waves her arms again. “Not to the home that he remembers, but to a new home with new family.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Winifred calmly pours Natasha more coffee. “What you must understand Ms. Romanoff is that we know that Uncle James was not murdered and certainly didn’t return to England. That would have put my mother in mortal danger.” Natasha startles at that information, but keeps it to herself until more is explained. “That night something happened in his lab. Mother wrote about it in her journal. She was walking to his building, when there was a bright light from inside. She wrote that the light was gold and unlike anything she’d ever seen.” Natasha looks at the older woman sitting across from her, sipping her tea, but now her hands shake minutely. The calm façade from before is cracking. Winifred looks to the doorway. “Becca, get the book on top.”
Becca comes into the room carrying a baby and followed by a toddler. They have the same chocolate brown hair and crystal blue eyes. She goes to the painting above the side table, pulls it aside and places her palm on the panel. The safe swings open and she pulls a leather bound book out. Handing it over to her mother Becca sits with the baby. Winifred gets up and goes out to the kitchen coming back in with a bottle and a sippy cup. The toddler comes to Natasha and raises her arms. Looking over at Becca who nods, Nat picks the little girl up getting her comfortable on her lap. Winifred opens the book.
Rebecca puts her tea aside. “You have not asked about all the references to who we are. You have not questioned our story.”
Natasha helps the little girl in her lap turn the page of the picture book she’s looking at. “With everything I’ve seen in the work I do, this isn’t even the strangest story I’ve heard.”
The older woman laughs delightedly. “Then the fact that I will be 160 on my next birthday is not surprising?”
Natasha looks up through her lashes and grins. “My best friend is going to be 100 in a few months, so no it isn’t hard to believe. However, he was on ice for part of that time.”
“My husband was a horrible man with very little regard for human life, but he was smart enough to figure out the Barnes secret and wanted to incorporate that into his family line. Do not misunderstand, my father had been very careful, but not careful enough, god rest his soul. My oldest brother has found it to be a little more difficult in this modern world.” She gives a barely there shake at the memory of her husband and a fond smile at the mention of her brother.
“So you’re immortal?” Nat needs to get up to speed with what’s happening here. She looks over at Winifred. “You’re the little girl that came to America with her Uncle and mother.”
Winifred nods. The woman doesn’t look a day over 50. “I am and I remember my uncle very clearly and he would not have left us or done something stupid enough to get himself killed. We had to learn to be careful in all aspects of our lives. And we aren’t immortal. We do age, just not as fast as everyone else.”
Looking over at Becca, who is feeding the baby. “And how old are you?”
“I’m the age that I look. Mom waited until later in life to have me.” Winifred smiles warmly at her daughter and Rebecca looks at them with such pride.
Rebecca hands the book over to Natasha. “I’m going to let you take that with you, but I expected it back in this house in three days. What’s in there are not just my thoughts, but the visions that my brother had. You see Ms. Romanoff, aging slowly isn’t the only gift of my family line. The second born is always gifted with sight.”
Natasha looks over at the little boy Becca is holding. “So, he…”
Becca looks down lovingly at her son. “Yes, Jamie will be able to see what’s to come. Uncle James was the second born, after my Uncle George, so he had the gift too. He knew what was coming and he willingly put himself in that situation because he knew. He knew that Captain Rogers would save him and bring him into the world that he was meant to be a part of.”
Rebecca smiles at her granddaughter then looks back at Natasha. “You will read everything in the book. Three days is all you have then I must insist that you return it here.” Natasha nods, handing the little girl to her grandmother and leaving. She sits in the car, thumbing through the first few pages.
'James tells me to not fear the marriage that father has planned for me. I cannot help how terrified I am, but I must trust my brother. He promises me that I will have a beautiful daughter and that the three of us will be happy. If I cannot trust the one that has protected me for all of my life, who could I possibly trust. The wedding is tomorrow and James has convinced father and George to allow him admittance into University. He will be traveling with me and staying in my new home. This brings a peace to my mind and heart.
I finished the portrait of my dear brother and father says he believes it to be my best work. He has chosen to hang it with all of the others in the great hall. I never believed he cared for my dalliances in art, but he told me today that I should continue and that he is proud of me. I do not believe he has ever told me that before. James smiled so brightly that I was sure he had already ‘seen’ it. There are times that I wish I had his gift, so that I would know what my life is going to be.'
Natasha rereads the entry to Steve and Bruce. “Guys, this isn’t anything unusual from all the other insanity that we’ve come across, but we need to go through this thing and figure out what happened that night, the night he disappeared. He knew it was coming and he told Rebecca about it and she wrote it down. I looked at the date she gave me and it was clear that Steve is meant to somehow figure this out and save him, bring him back.” She opens the book again, reading:
'I do not know who this Steven is, but James promised that he would know what to do, that Steven would save him. My only thoughts now are that he is not in pain. Wherever he has been taken, James does not deserve to be in pain. Winnie has been crying for days. She cannot let go of her uncle so easily. I tried to explain to her that he would be back someday, but still she cries. My heart breaks for her.
My heart breaks for Steven too. He will be so lonely in this new world that will be so different from what he knows, but I must trust that James knows what is best. He spent his life wishing and hoping for someone to love only to find they are not born yet. I have worried for him because father kept wanting him to marry and even invited women and their guardians to our home, but James only has eyes for Steven. It pleases me that the universe knows that James could never be happy with any woman.
Now, I must wait.'
Steve looks incredulously at her. “Nat, I appreciate that you think you’re helping, but this is a family story passed down through generations, but…”
She stands, fury coming off her in waves. “I swear to god Steve, if you tell me that you can’t believe all this, after I sat in that living room and watched these women, I will choke you with my thighs!”
Bruce snorts. “I might pay to watch that.”
They both glare at him and he raises his hands in defeat. Steve turns on Nat. “How can you even be sure what they were telling you was true?”
She turns away, hands shaking. “I can’t explain it, you could just feel it in the room.”
Natasha takes the book and stays up all night reading through it cover to cover and back again. Steve doesn’t sleep and the following morning he gets up and heads to the museum. He stands in front of the painting and tries to clear his head. “I don’t know what to think. If this is all true, somehow I’m supposed to save you, but I don’t even know what I’m supposed to save you from.”
Steve studies the soul mark on the portrait. It’s enough that he knows it matches his, but not so much that anyone could fully copy what’s hidden under the sleeve. He can make out the blue, red, and white of the shield, but only half of the lion’s head is visible. If anyone were to look at it, they might be able to tell that it’s an animal, but not enough to tell exactly which animal. But Steve knows and reaches over to touch his ribs. “This is crazy and I must be crazy for starting to believe it.” Maybe he wouldn’t believe any of it if the man in the portrait wasn’t so beautiful. If his sister painted him accurately, James Barnes is a face that could launch a thousand ships and then some.
Reaching up, he rubs his forehead. This must all be getting to him because he’s starting to get a headache. He hasn’t had one of those since before the serum and this one feels similar to the migraines he used to get. He looks back at the portrait and into those eyes. They draw him back and he stands in front of James Barnes again. “I would have loved you. I would have changed the world for you.”
As he turns, making his way out of the European section, Steve’s vision whites out and ten thousand razors start cutting away at his brain. Grabbing his head, he goes down hard. He hears screaming and doesn’t realize that he’s the one making the sound. Someone is there, trying to talk to him, but he can’t see and the pain keeps him from making out the words they are saying. The only thing he can hear is pounding from the blood rushing through his veins and just before everything goes black, he hears a quiet voice, almost like it’s coming to him through water. “Steven…” The security guard grabs his walkie-talkie and calls for help.
When he comes to, Bruce and Helen are talking quietly with Tony. Steve’s head still hurts, but nothing compared to earlier. He tries to sit up, but nausea overtakes him and he almost vomits, but manages to hold it down. Then there are three pair of hands, trying to sooth him.
“Steve, you shouldn’t move yet.” Bruce speaks in a quiet hushed whisper and Steve is thankful for that.
“What happened?” Clinching his eyes shut, Steve lets the warmth in the room comfort him.
“We aren’t sure, but it’s acting like a migraine. Helen is working on something she can give you that will help.”
“Why isn’t the serum working?” Fear that the serum has finally run out terrifies him. As he asks the question, he remembers the voice. He grasps Bruce’s hand. “I heard him.” Exhaustion overtakes him and he slips back into sleep.
Tony looks over at Bruce. “Heard who?” Bruce shakes his head, but has an idea that he might actually know. After checking him over again, Bruce leaves the room finding Nat standing outside waiting with the rest of the team. Helen starts to fill them in while Bruce pulls Nat into an adjoining room.
He starts pacing as soon as he lets go of her arm. Running his hands through his hair, he turns on her. “Steve heard him.”
Her eyes get wide as saucers. “W-w-what do you mean?”
“I mean, he heard James Barnes.” He takes Nat’s arms, looking hard at her. “That means that what you read to me last night is coming true. He’s out there somewhere trapped and Steve’s the only one that can pull him out. And it starts with this…”
“What exactly happened?” She’ worried about her friend, but she’s also confused.
“He had something similar to a migraine. I’ve never seen one this bad though. And it shouldn’t be possible with the serum.” She pulls him in, hugging him.
“I’m going to have to do it.” Bruce pulls back searching Nat’s face.
“Are you sure you’re up for that? I mean the last time he came to the tower, you almost stabbed him.”
She smirks. “He deserved it, but it has to be done and he’s the only one that might know something. We may deal with some weird shit, but this is magic and mysticism and that’s too far out of my range of knowledge.”
Bruce nods. “If he will even share. He’s not really good at that.”
“Then maybe I’ll stab him and make him.” She turns to leave the room, stopping at the door. “You’ll keep me posted?” Bruce smiles and Natasha feels that soul deep comfort that he always gives her.
She stops off at their floor to grab the journal and heads out. Standing in front of 177A Bleecker Street she wonders if this is a good idea. The door creeps open before she has the chance to knock and she’s greeted by that damned red cloak. Nat hasn’t figured out if the thing is sentient, but is willing to give it a shot. “Hey, I need to talk to Dr. Strange.”
The cloak waves and heads off into the sanctum. Nat follows because what else is she going to do. “Ah, Ms. Romanoff, to what do I owe this uninvited visit?”
Stephen Strange comes down the stairs in full regalia, including the cloak, with a book in his hand acting as though her presence is a nuisance. “I’m here to talk to you about Steve…Captain Rogers.”
“And what does the good Captain want me to beat up this time?” Something about his careless, heartless words just strikes deep in Nat’s chest. Steve shouldn’t be hurting, he shouldn’t have to go through anything extra for a soul mate that should have been fucking waiting for him when he came out of the ice, but here she is, talking to a man that she can’t stand because Steve is her best friend. It’s just too much and tomorrow she has to take the book back and Steve hasn’t even been able to see it yet. It’s too much. Turning she heads for the door. This was the wrong move.
“I’m sorry, Doctor, this was a mistake.”
She almost makes it too. “Why come all this way if you were just going to run away?”
She turns on him and between lack of sleep, worry and desperation, she just doesn’t care to censor herself. “I came because I thought I could get you to be a decent human being and help me save someone, but then I got here and I remembered you aren’t a decent human being and you aren’t someone that I can work with, no matter whose life is on the line.”
Before she can turn the handle, the cloak is stopping her. “Would you care for some tea?”
“No, I don’t have time for tea and I really don’t have time for this. Just let me leave and you can get back to your precious, quiet life.”
“Ms. Romanoff…”
She snaps. “That’s Mrs. Banner to you!”
Something in his face softens and she doesn’t know what to do with that. “Congratulations, I didn’t know.” He indicates the small office off to the left. “Please, join me for tea and tell me what has you so uncharacteristically open.”
He takes a sip and she just stares at the cup, lost in too many thoughts and not enough sleep. “Steve’s sick.” Strange’s eyebrows go up. “Yeah, it’s not possible, but he collapsed in the museum yesterday and he’s still mostly unconscious. We think it has something to do with his soul mate.”
“I was unaware that Captain Rogers had a soul mate.” Nat hands the book over. He begins thumbing through it.
“He didn’t think so either until he saw a painting.” She proceeds to explain everything she can to him, from all the women getting what they think is his soul mark, to seeing it on a painting from 1878, to visiting with the family, to the journal, and Steve’s collapse and hearing the voice.
“This is intriguing.” He gets to the last set of entries just after James Barnes disappeared, closing the book and handing it back. “I will tell you that what she’s telling you is true. There are members of our society that aren’t like the rest of us, present company excluded. It fits with many stories of soul mate separations over generation. I believe I can help.”
He gets up, motioning her to the door. “If you can save Steve and James, I’ll stop hating you so much.”
“Why do you hate me?” He’s headed up the stairs, so she follows.
“Because you don’t think what we do it important.” He stops on the second floor landing, staring confused at her.
“What on earth makes you think I believe that?” She rolls her eyes.
“You treat us like we’re unnecessary.” He sweeps his arm up the next flight of stairs and she heads up. “I was treated like a tool most of my life and I don’t like it. That’s how you treat all of us. You seem to forget that for most of us, that’s the only real family we’ve ever had. You discount what we’ve come from and what we’ve built when you treat us that way.”
As they reach the third floor, he guides her down a hallway and into what looks like a library. Wong sits at a desk reading and doesn’t bother looking up. “When I was a surgeon, I was the best money could buy.” She really doesn’t want to hear him expound on his successes. “That’s all I was. Just a man that, if one had enough money, could buy my services. I lost the woman that I love because of that arrogance. I don’t treat you the way I treat you because I don’t think you’re important. I treat you that way because of how important you are and in the grand scheme of your existence, I’m the unnecessary one.”
He walks away and goes into the shelves. Wong looks up finally. “He’s a little insecure.” Nat snorts and looks around.
“What is all this?” She wonders if she would understand anything she read in any of these books.
“This is the culmination of millennia of knowledge.” Strange comes back, carrying a book that looks older than anything Nat’s ever seen. “Ah Ha! I knew I had read something about this.” Turning so she can look over his arm, he points at the page. “Your friend’s book said that the night he disappeared, his sister saw a bright golden light inside the building and her brother was just gone.”
Wong stands, looking at the page too. Looking up at Strange, he looks almost gleeful. “Are you kidding? We’ve never had dealings with this before.”
“Don’t look so excited, we aren’t releasing him, according to the text, Captain Rogers has to do this.” Wong looks disappointed. “But he will have to be trained first.” Wong is back to looking like an excited puppy.
“We get to train, Captain America?” Strange nods. “This is the best day of my life!”
Nat shakes her head and her hands. “What are you two babbling about?”
“It would seem, Mrs. Banner, that Captain Rogers soul mate was born at the wrong time.” She looks at him with a ‘duh’ expression. “The universe has, on occasion, made this error before and corrects it by opening a portal and holding the one born too early in stasis. Unfortunately, most do not have access to this knowledge, so when the next one born doesn’t find their soul mate, both perish without ever knowing there was a solution. Captain Rogers is lucky enough to know me and since I do have access to this knowledge, he can learn to open the correct kind of portal to release his soul mate.”
“And Steve hearing his voice?” She hops up on a table, swinging her legs because she knows it annoys Strange.
“Yes, that’s the soul mate connection. No one else could hear him. So, we must teach Captain Rogers how to open a portal to pull the man out.” He snaps the book shut, sitting it on the table.
“So, you’re going to teach Steve magic?” She looks skeptical.
Strange grins. “I’m not.” He points at Wong. “He is.”
The following afternoon, Steve is well enough to accompany Natasha to the Barnes home. He doesn’t know what he expects, but when the door is opened by Rebecca, she smiles kindly at him, embraces him, and draws him into her home.
“You do not look well.” Dark circles mar his tired face and Nat squeezes his arm in reassurance.
“I’m fine, thank you ma’am.” She fixes tea and sits with them while watching the man closely.
“You don’t believe what you’ve learned.” It isn’t a question, but seems to be the truth of this situation.
Nat jumps in to defend him. “He just needs time to process what’s happening.”
Steve clinches his eyes shut for a second, trying to stave off the surge of pain. He’s been taking the meds that Helen formulated for him, but finds that occasionally the headache will rear up. Nat pulls the bottle from her bag, getting one out for him. “Thanks Nat.”
He takes it with the tea and notices that Rebecca doesn’t miss anything. “Perhaps you should tell me what has happened.”
Steve takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to tell a stranger his issues, but he’s also finding that he has a very low threshold of tolerance right now. “I just have a headache.”
She smiles, but it’s calculating. “It is my understanding Captain that you don’t suffer things like that.”
Steve looks over at Nat and she takes the reins. “A few days ago Steve was at the museum where the portrait is hanging. He ended up passing out from a headache that is similar to a migraine, but according to Dr. Banner is much more severe.”
The older woman leans forward. “Is there a reason that this happened, Captain?”
Steve doesn’t want to say it because if he says it then all of this is real. And if all of this is real then he’s sitting in the living room of a woman that’s going to be 160 on her next birthday and is the sister of the man he’s fated to love. After reading the journal the night before, he feels like he knows this woman and that he may already be in love with her brother. He found that James was everything that Steve ever wanted in his life. He was strong, smart, kind, funny, and if the portrait is accurate, the most beautiful thing that Steve’s ever seen. “How accurate is your portrait?”
She grins and Steve feels like he can see a little of what she was. “It is very accurate. It’s the only reason that father agreed to hang it with the other portraits in the main hall.”
Steve is in trouble with a capital ‘T’ and he knows it. “I heard his voice. He called to me.”
Natasha begins explaining everything they know and Rebecca listens intently. Winifred and Becca return later with the kids and they go to make dinner. “You will stay for dinner.” Again, it isn’t a question, so Steve and Natasha end up having dinner with the Barnes family. As they walk into the night, Steve seems more relaxed and calm.
Holding Natasha’s hand, they make their way down the block to the car. “I need to learn this portal thing as fast as I can.” Nat looks up at him. “Not just for me, but for them. It’s hard to wrap my head around all of this, but she’s waited long enough for her brother to come home.”
Over the next several months, Steve spends at least three nights a week with the Barnes family when not on missions. They welcome him into their lives like he’s always been there. He talks with Rebecca about the depression and Winifred ends up joining the conversation. It’s hard to believe that both women were there, during that time and can remind Steve of things that even he forgot. Becca listens intently and smiles at this shared bit of history. She knows how hard it is for her mother and grandmother to outlive everyone they knew or will know. Steve sees that look pass over Becca’s face and knows it for what it is.
He finds out that they keep to themselves too much because they are tired of watching people they care about die. It isn’t until months have pass, Steve having just come from the Sanctum, where today, finally, he was able to create sparks. No full portal, but it’s a start. Becca is home alone with the baby while Winifred and Rebecca took the little girl to a party for a friend. “It’s just you and me, Steve. How does pizza sound?” He nods and she orders. “How are your headaches?”
“They’re better.” Sitting in the living room, she watches him fidget.
“What’s on your mind?” He doesn’t even know how to broach the subject, so he jumps in with both feet.
“I’ve been thinking about all this and I’m concerned.” She quirks an eyebrow and he goes on. “Rebecca talked about keeping to herself because she doesn’t like watching people around her die, but that’s what James will have to do with me. I’ll grow old and die and he’ll still be young. How fair is that to him?”
“You’ve never asked about the kids’ father.” He’s taken off guard by her statement. “I want to marry him. I love him more than I can tell you, but mother doesn’t want me to.”
“What do you want?” It seems a natural question.
“I want to marry him and live a life with him. He’s my soul mate and when it comes down to the brass tacks, that’s all that really matters. I haven’t told him about myself and what will happen, but it doesn’t change how I feel. See, even if he grows old and I lose him, at least I had him for a little while. We only get one chance at this. That’s the curse of this family. Nana talks about our gifts, but we also have that curse.” She seems lonely in the mist of all this.
“You should marry him and do what’s right for you.” She smiles wetly at him. “What you’re trying to tell me is, James will want a life with me no matter how long or short that life is.”
She nods. “And you don’t really know what the serum did to your aging. You may be around longer than you think.”
He hadn’t thought of that. The pizza comes not long after and they eat and talk about Becca’s life, the kids, the man she loves, and Steve’s life since he came out of the ice. By the time the other two women come in with a sleeping toddler, laughter fills the house.
The following day, Steve creates a small, but stable portal. Strange is surprised that it happened so quickly, but is also proud. It took him much longer to do, but then again, he was a non-believer and Captain Rogers is very much a believer at this point. He stands off to the side, watching as Wong has Steve hold the portal for as long as he can.
At dinner that night Steve tries to fill in the rest of the team with what’s been happening. He’s kept all this to himself, but Tony has started getting curious about his time with Strange and his time with a family in Brooklyn. They’ve all been concerned, but as closed off as Steve’s appeared they didn’t want to push too much. Tony looks disbelieving, but everyone else takes the story at face value and asks questions. It does help that they’ve faced far weirder things being Avengers.
“So your soul mate is lost in space somewhere.” Tony comes to Steve’s floor and finds the super soldier looking out at the city. None of the lights are on and Steve just stands there, back to the billionaire, and thinks through his current situation.
“Yeah, something like that.” Tony joins him at the window, looking down at the city that is always bustling.
“And you believe everything?”
Steve huffs. “He has my soul mark on him. And it’s in Strange’s books.”
“I just want to be sure that you are okay. Friends don’t let friends make dumb decisions.” Steve barks a laugh.
“Then Rhodey isn’t doing his job.” It’s Tony’s turn to bark a laugh.
“No, I suppose he isn’t.” He claps Steve on the shoulder. “If this works and you pull him out of some nothingness, I’ll be your biggest supporter, but if this is some kind of scam, I’ll hunt down everyone that put you through this and destroy them.” He leaves without another word, surprising Steve with his sincerity.
The next day, Steve and Wong do deep breathing meditation before starting. Strange sits off to the side and watches the aura around Steve change from uncertain and chaotic to calm. Smiling, he knows that today Steve is going to surprise them all. Getting up and into position, Steve closes his eyes and thinks about the voice. There’s a small throbbing in the back of his head, but he breathes through it and holds his hands in the position that Wong taught him. Strange goes to the table and checks that he has the medication for Steve. Dr. Cho had given him a liquid version for fast administration should anything violent happen during their sessions. Filling a syringe, Strange hopes he won’t have to use it.
“Remember, you are only focused on what is, not what could be. As difficult as it is not to project your desires, you must maintain the wholeness of your mind.” Steve breathes again then moves his hand. The sparks start, then expand, then expand more. “Good, now think about this moment and only this moment and open the portal enough to walk through.”
The bigger it gets, the more the throbbing amplifies. Focus is difficult, but Steve is determined. Thinking about only what is here and now, he circles his hand just a little more. Everything is working exactly the way it should until the building shakes and a voice comes from the portal, crying out in pain. “STEVEN!”
Steve lands on the floor several feet away, clutching his head. Stephen runs to his aid and Wong kneels next to him. He can’t hear their voices and can’t answer because the pain is so intense that he’s folded into himself. Stephen gets the syringe from the table, injecting it into Steve’s neck. Wong watches in horror as the super soldier weeps. “What is happening?”
Strange looks at his friend. “James is calling out to him. Each time this happens.”
Wong paces, hands on hips. “We can’t keep doing this to him if it might kill him.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Once the meds kick in, Steve is up, still in pain, but determined to make this work. The Sorcerer Supreme forbids any more attempts for that day.
Steve leaves, frustrated and angry, but doesn’t want to push the two men for fear they will refuse to help him. The car heads back to the Tower when Steve speaks up. “Take me to Brooklyn.”
Knocking on the door this late at night, is disrespectful, but Steve has to try. Rebecca opens the door in her dressing gown, but seeing the look, lets him in. “Steve, what is this all about?”
Steve paces the entry hall until the other two women come down the stairs. “Steve?”
Steve looks up at Becca. “He called out to me again. I need to do this now. I didn’t know where else to go.”
Winifred comes to him, drawing him into the living room. “What happened?” Rebecca sits heavily in a chair across from him, looking exhausted.
“I opened the portal, big enough for him to come through and he screamed out for me.” He puts his hands over his face and cries. “I need to try again.”
Finally, Becca comes over, kneeling next to him. “Did you collapse like you did before?” He nods. “Then maybe it isn’t a good idea to try again tonight.”
He looks up, desperate. “I have to.”
Rebecca looks up hopeful. “How much space do you need?”
Steve moves all of the furniture out of the way, leaving the center of the living room open. He sits down in the middle of the space and breathes through everything like Wong taught him. He focuses on the here and now and not anything else. What he didn’t have at the Sanctum, that he does have here, is family. People who want what he wants. Once he feels centered, he stands. He quietly whispers, “Please let this work.”
As he spins his hand and sparks start to fly, Rebecca comes over, placing a hand on his back. For the first time since he started this training, he feels like he can really do it. The portal grows until it’s large enough for someone to walk through. Rebecca makes circles on his back. “Go get him, Steven.”
Stepping through the portal, Steve stands in inky blackness. It truly feels like a vast nothingness, oppressive and overwhelming. He turns and sees the three women holding each other and watching him. The empty feeling of lost nearly overtakes him, but he tries not to think about that too much, fearing that it will cause him to fail. For just a second, he remembers that devastating alone feeling from the ice. Then the pain hits and he feels like someone is screaming inside his mind. It pierces through him and he nearly goes down, but James is depending on him and he has to do this. Pushing it aside as best as he can, Steve thinks only of James. The smiling young man from the painting and every story that Rebecca has told him.
Closing his eyes, he tries to use the pain as a guide. The more pain he’s in, the closer he decides he must be. There’s a surge and he’s being ripped apart by shards of glass all over his body. This has to be it, it has to be otherwise Steve is sure he’ll die in here. Reaching out, he feels hands slip into his own and he pulls, scooping the figure into his arms and falling back out of the portal. Hitting the floor with a dull thud, Steve doesn’t let go of the body in his arms, but also can’t open his eyes. The pain is subsiding, but not quickly enough. Waving his hand, the portal closes and Steve lays on the floor with James in his arms.
He wakes and can feel warmth that is obviously from a window if the glare behind his eyelids is anything to go by, but there’s another warmth next to him, clinging to him. This warmth feels like it’s seeped into him and lives inside him now. He pulls it closer, not wanting to let go the feeling. That warmth burrows closer as though it feels the same way that Steve does. His eyes flutter and a mass of dark hair is the first thing that Steve sees. His shirt has been removed and Steve realizes that the women must have wanted as much skin to skin contact as possible. Until the bond is complete, it’s the only way that soul mates can deal with the uncomfortable feeling that Steve has now. He has no idea how they got them up the stairs and into a bed, but as the man in his arms snuggles closer, he isn’t sure he cares.
More than anything, he wants to complete the bond with James, but James is from another time. Steve isn’t sure what the protocol was back in James’s day, so he can wait. James is from another time. That thought has Steve not sure if he wants to laugh or cry. Maybe that is why fate did it this way. Both of them, men out of time. Both of them new to a world that can be intense.
“He hasn’t awakened yet, you are the first.” Steve looks over to find Rebecca sitting in a chair, next to the bed. Winifred and Becca are asleep on a sofa under the window and Natasha and Bruce lean in the doorway.
“Not a smart move, Rogers.” Nat looks annoyed with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Come on, Nat, he did what anyone would do in this situation. Not that anyone has ever been in this situation, that we know of.” Bruce puts his arm around his wife and she nods in concession. Bruce looks back at the bed. “How’s the pain, Steve?”
“Still there, but not as bad as it was.” He tightens his embrace around the man in bed with him.
James’s eyes flutter open, but he doesn’t move away from the man that saved him. No one seems to notice that the eyes of Steve’s bed companion have opened and he shares a look with his sister. She’s older than he remembers her, but the eyes are the same. She nods and before Steve knows what’s happening, James sits up on his elbow, staring down at Steve and places the soul mark on his forearm on top of the one on Steve’s ribs. The world around them whites out and for several minutes time stands still for them. Rebecca ushers everyone out of the room watching the glowing engulf the men on the bed.
When the world comes back into focus, the room is empty except for the two of them, still wrapped around each other in bed. Steve comes to with fingers brushing his hair aside from his forehead and James staring down at him. “I beg your pardon for the suddenness of the connection, but I have waited a very long time for you.”
He’s so formal and Steve can’t help but smile up at him. “It’s alright, I’ve been waiting awhile too.”
The smile that graces James’s face lights everything inside of Steve on fire. “Your kindness, in the face of this chaos is appreciated.”
Steve snorts a laugh. “I suppose that’s a good way of putting it. I’m Steve, by the way.”
“Oh, I know of you already. I had visions of you all of my life.” Steve sits up, propped up on the headboard.
“What were your visions like?” James blushes and lowers his head. Steve gets the idea and pulls the man against him.
James snuggles into his chest. Steve’s never felt anything so right in all of his very long life. “You are a man of honor and you fought to bring me home to my family. I hope that you understand how much your courage means to myself and my sister.”
Steve runs his hand up and down James’s back. The man’s skin is soft against the callousness of Steve’s hand. It’s an incredibly arousing feeling to the super soldier. “It wasn’t courage. It was selfishness on my part.” James looks up and Steve just stares into those slate, blue eyes. “My god you are beautiful.”
James blushes again, burying his face in Steve neck. He hears the man inhale deeply. “We should know each other before we…”
“James, I’ve waited a long time for you. I didn’t think I would ever find you. I’m willing to do this however you are most comfortable.”
“Is it true that it’s been over a hundred years?” Before Steve can answer, James looks up again. “And won’t you please call me Bucky?”
“Bucky?”
“My middle name, Rebecca shortened it when she was but a child. I prefer it to my given name.” Steve nods, reaching out to caress the young man’s cheek. “Is it also true that men can be together in this new world?”
Steve lets the smile bloom across his face. “Yes, it is true. We can even get married if you want.” Then he stutters out trying to backtrack. “I mean…you know…if you wanted that.”
James, no Bucky, laughs delightedly. “I am sure that I will want that and if we are being truthful, Steven, I may want that sooner than is appropriate.”
They spend the next week talking through this new world that they both find themselves in. Steve’s been out of the ice for a few years, but sharing all of it with someone that finds it as overwhelming as he had makes it finally come together. Rebecca and Bucky pick at each other just as they always did. He’s unfazed by her age and also unfazed by his aged niece, a grand-niece, a great-grand-niece and nephew. He argues with Rebecca and Winifred over Becca’s situation and finally makes them see that keeping her from her soul mate is wrong and unacceptable. Steve watches the family forge relationships and how strong they are together. He relishes the fact that he’s part of that now. He’s been without family for too many years. He loves his team and does see them as family, but this dynamic is different even to that.
As they sit in the park four days after their marks connected, Bucky closes his eyes and breathes deep. “Steve, tell me about the Avengers.”
Steve looks over startled because he’s made a point not to bring up his job. He wants Bucky to know him and not his title. “Uh…they’re…it’s kinda my job.”
Bucky reaches over, taking Steve’s hand. “Did you forget? I have seen your job and it concerns me.”
Steve hangs his head. “I did forget. I’m never going to be able to hide anything from you.”
Bucky giggles and when his nose scrunches up, Steve is charmed. “Do you wish to hide things from me?”
“Shit!” Steve gathers Bucky into his arms and holds him close. “No, that isn’t what I meant. It’s just…how do I explain this?” Bucky leans away, studying Steve’s face. “People look at me and instead of seeing Steve Rogers, they see Captain America. I’m not really a person to them. I want you to see me.”
Bucky reaches up, caressing Steve’s face. “Oh my Steven, I see you. You are not this icon that society has thrust upon you. You are a man with a heart so big it can only be satisfied if you are helping as many as possible.” Bucky turns facing Steve and pulls the super soldier down into a kiss. Steve’s panting when Bucky leans away and rests his forehead on Bucky’s temple. “You do your job when you must, but you come home to me.”
They walk the neighborhood together, holding hands, and Steve is convinced that nothing in his life could be better, but after a week, the Avengers are needed. Bucky watches videos of them in battle and looks at Steve with worry in his eyes. When the alarm sounds, Steve waits by the front steps for the jet. The itch under his skin that he feels every time he leaves Bucky to return to the Tower, or home, or just to go in the kitchen to fix him tea, gets amplified. Pushing it aside, he knows he has to do his job, but leaving Bucky nearly hurts in a physical way. When the jet shows, Nat comes off carrying the shield. The design, up close, makes Bucky giggle. “Uniforms on board, we gotta get going. Hey James, good to see you.”
She’s so casual handing over the shield. Steve turns, torn between what he should do and what he wants to do. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Bucky cups his face with both hands. “Promise me you will take care of yourself.”
Steve leans in, kissing him lightly. “I promise. I have someone to come home to now.” Bucky rolls onto the balls of his feet, kissing Steve again.
“It’s too soon, but you should know that I love you, Steven. I feel you in my heart and through my soul. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
Steve takes his left hand, kissing the palm. “I love you too, Buck and you won’t lose me.” The shorter man beams at him, kissing once more before Steve struts away to the jet. He fights every instinct to go back and stay with Bucky.
“You’ve got one hell of a man Uncle James.” Bucky turns, Becca grinning at him, and takes the baby from her arms, kissing the crown of the infant’s head.
“I don’t know why fate smiled on me in this way, but I’m lucky to be here in a time when we can be together.” They go back into the house as the jet takes off. The itch under his skin starts almost immediately. He paces and even snaps at Rebecca once or twice. It tells the older woman just how slow these two are taking with the bond. She doesn’t know how her brother is going to survive this mission.
It’s a long two weeks for Bucky and he spends too much time checking the news and internet, with Becca’s help, to see if anything new has come up about the Avengers. He also spends his time educating himself on all things 21st century to try and distract from the intense panic. Rebecca takes him out shopping and fills his wardrobe with things that help him fit in. She tries to talk to him about it, but he refused to have that conversation with her.
Steve sends numerous texts to let Bucky know that he’s okay and finally after the second week comes to a close, the doorbell rings. Winifred lets Steve into the brownstone and Bucky flies down the stairs and into his arms. Steve’s finally home. Bucky doesn’t let him leave that night to return to the Tower and insists that they sleep in the same bed shirtless. It’s a struggle for both men, but Steve gives no indication that he knows why. He focuses on the feel of Bucky’s skin against his own and decides that missing a soul mate in the early stages of the bond is the problem.
The introduction of Bucky to Tony Stark is not what Steve expects. Tony takes an immediate liking to the man that worked in science, when science was really getting its footing. Bucky tells Tony about the projects that he worked on in technology and Tony shows Bucky what he can do now. The next thing Steve knows, Bucky Barnes works at Stark Industries and has a small lab off of Tony’s sanctuary. For the first few months, Bucky takes some of Tony’s tech and disassembles it marveling at what is currently possible.
“How the hell did you construct this in a cave?” Bucky has been working on the arch reactor for days and it baffles him that Tony could do what he did in the conditions he was working in.
Tony chuckles off to the side. “It’s amazing what a person can do when his life is in the balance.” Tony taps his chin with the tool he’s working with. “Well, it’s amazing what I can do under those circumstances. Most people would have just died.”
Bucky laughs, but is awed by his boss. “I would have died.” Bucky looks up and towards the door. Tony has watched him do this repeatedly throughout the day. It has him curious.
The door opens and Steve strolls in carrying lunch for the two men. “Everyone stops what you’re doing and eats now.” Steve looks at Tony. “Those are Pepper’s orders specifically for you.”
For three months Steve has felt the tingle under his skin when he’s around Bucky and when the man comes to him, cupping his cheek gently, Steve melts into the puddle of goo that has been a constant. “Hi.” When they aren’t together, he gets an itch that no amount of scratching can relieve. He wonders when it will settle down, but doesn’t feel comfortable asking anyone else.
Steve grins that sappy grin that he gets when he’s around Bucky, or thinks of Bucky, or someone mentions Bucky. “Hi yourself. You hungry?” Bucky nods, taking the bags and clearing a space on his work bench.
“You two are pretty disgusting.” Tony digs through one of the bags and finds a cheeseburger. “But you are forgiven for bringing me this.”
Steve sits the milk shakes on the bench. “It’s good to know you can be bought so cheap, Tony.”
Turning back to Bucky, he leans in kissing the man quickly. Tony is watching and making mental notes about things he sees. Swallowing, he takes a drink. Something about this relationship doesn’t quite fit. He remembers how he and Pepper were for years with each other, before they admitted their marks matched and then how it was after they had started the bond, but once they sealed the bond, it became a comfortable constant. That low hum under the skin that told the other, ‘I’m here and you’ll never lose me.’ What’s missing from these two is that comfort. “You two are confusing.”
Steve sits next to Bucky, legs touching. “What’s confusing?”
Tony doesn’t like to talk about feelings or even acknowledge feelings, unless he’s with Pepper, so he picks his words carefully. “Is it just because your situation is so unique?”
Steve isn’t sure what Tony means, but Bucky knows if his blush is anything to go by. Steve looks over for help and sees that Bucky is blushing and doesn’t want to meet his eyes. “Buck?”
Bucky shakes his head, not wanting to answer and that tells Tony what he wanted to know. “Holy shit! You two haven’t sealed the bond yet? What the hell are you waiting for?”
Steve’s even more confused than he was before. When his mother died, there were many things he didn’t know and because it’s a personal subject between soul mates, Steve never asked anyone what it was like. More importantly, he didn’t know what to ask. “I don’t…what’s…”
He looks back at Tony who raises his arms in defeat. “Nope, not it. Someone else is going to have to explain this and I’m going to go far away so I don’t have to be part of it.” He grabs his food and leaves the lab, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Bucky, what’s going on? What does he mean we haven’t sealed the bond?” Sitting the food down, he turns to look directly at the brunette.
Bucky swallows hard, sits his food down, and looks up at Steve, which appears to be very difficult. “You really don’t know, do you?” Steve shakes his head, looking blankly at the man he loves. “Steve…” Bucky reaches over, caressing his cheek. “I do love you, so much.” Steve blushes, looking down at the floor. “When I connected our marks that day, that was to open the bond, but it doesn’t seal the bond between us. Haven’t you wondered why we still feel edgy when we aren’t together?”
“I just figured that was part of it. You know, like wanting to always be within touching distance of each other.” Bucky chuckles. “Is there more to it?”
Bucky doesn’t know how to respond to that, he just can’t believe that a man, who puts his life on the line and has so much experience with war and death, doesn’t understand the life giving soul bond. “Steve, until we complete the physical part of this bond, we are going to feel that way. Until we…you know…we aren’t going to feel each other like other soul mates do.”
The realization comes over Steve. “Oh…OH…jesus Buck, why didn’t you say anything?”
“What was I supposed to say, Steve? Most people know this stuff, their parents or in my case a tutor explains it.” Steve stands, pulling Bucky with him, wrapping arms tightly around him.
“My ma died when I was 17 and she didn’t get the chance to explain all this and it seemed rude to ask someone else.” He leans in, kissing Bucky. “Bucky, do you want to seal the bond?”
Bucky’s forehead falls onto Steve’s shoulder. “Since I woke up in your arms, but I didn’t want to push.”
Leaving the lab, Steve decides that if they are going to do this, they are going to do it right. He leaves Bucky at the lab and goes back to his apartment. He has a floor at the Tower and Bucky has a room with his sister, but Steve wants this to be special, so he goes to his home. He spends the afternoon cleaning, top to bottom, changing the sheets on the bed. He goes to the Italian place around the corner and gets dinner. Steve stops in at a florist and gets flowers and makes arrangements with Happy to have a car that night. Contacting Tony, he has the man make sure that Bucky is out of the lab by seven.
At seven Bucky exits the building to find Steve waiting next to a car, holding a bouquet of flowers half covering his face. “Steve?”
He lowers the flowers and smiles. “Hey Buck. Need a ride?”
Bucky bursts with delighted laughter, nodding at Happy. He takes the flowers, smelling the intoxicating scent. Steve takes his hand, helping him into the car. “What’s all this about?”
Settled in the back of the car, Happy pulls into traffic and grins. “This is me making sure you feel special and loved.”
They share quiet conversation all the way back to Steve’s apartment. “I got us dinner. I hope that’s okay.” Bucky just nods starting to get a clear picture of what Steve is up to. Through dinner, they talk about everything that Bucky is learning from Tony, what Rebecca and the rest of the family is up to and Steve shares tidbits of things that have been happening with the team.
“Do you ever look at the members of the team and wonder how normal people can keep up with you?” Bucky is leaning back in his chair, watching Steve finish off his meal.
“I don’t know that I would call any of them normal.” Bucky smirks. “I guess there are certain members that I worry about more than others, but seriously, even Nat isn’t normal. Some of what she can do, doesn’t make sense to me.”
Dinner is finished and Steve is having trouble with the next part of the evening. He knows where he wants all this to go, but he doesn’t know how to get there. Bucky seems to pick up on his distress and comes around the table. Steve backs his chair away from the table and Bucky straddles his lap. “Steve, we don’t have to do this.”
Steve blushes and can’t quite meet Bucky’s eyes. “I really want to. Have wanted to, but I don’t know how any of this works. I don’t know if there’s protocol for this.”
Bucky laughs loudly, kissing Steve’s cheek. “Well first, don’t call it protocol. It isn’t a mission. It’s two people that are meant to be together sharing something important.” Steve nods and Bucky takes the reins. Getting up, he pulls Steve with him and leads him to the bedroom. He undresses himself leaving only his boxers and crawls into bed. He sits, waiting patiently for Steve to do the same. It takes a minute of Bucky watching him expectantly before Steve strips off his clothes and climbs in with him because Steve was too busy looking at all of the skin he gets to touch now. Bucky pulls him close. “We’re just going to kiss for a little while. We’ll see if it goes where, I think, we both want it to.”
It’s only a couple of minutes later and the kissing has turned feral and raspy. Steve has rolled on top of Bucky, who is clinging in desperation. Lifting his head, Steve looks down. “Jesus.” Bucky is flushed and panting and for Steve he’s never been more beautiful than he is in that moment. “Buck…” It comes out a breathy whisper and he leans in, kissing Bucky lightly.
“Steve…” Before he can finish what he was going to say, his phone starts ringing. Steve growls, but rolls over to grab Bucky’s jeans off the floor. He hands the phone over and Bucky sees that it’s Becca. “Hello?” He knows he sounds out of breath and her giggle tells him that she knows just exactly what he’s in the middle of. Steve reaches down, slowly pulling Bucky’s boxers off. The dark headed man tries to cover a moan when Steve then takes his own off.
“Oh man, sorry Uncle James. I was checking to see if you were going to be home for dinner, but I hear you’ve already started dessert.” Bucky rolls his eyes and Steve snorts.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Becs.” She doesn’t respond, just hangs up. Throwing the phone off the bed, he clutches Steve’s shoulder, hauling him back into position. “Now, where were we?” Steve noses along Bucky’s neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses.
“We were right about here.” Steve lays on top of Bucky and then whimpers. “I’m not gonna last very long.”
“Then you better get in me as fast as possible.”
Steve wakes the following morning to soft, brown hair tickling his chin. He isn’t expecting a surge of warm, soul deep love to come flooding into him. He remembers his mother telling him that soul mates could feel each other, but he’d been too young to understand what she meant. He knows that Bucky is awake and just not moving because he honestly doesn’t want to be anywhere except lying on Steve. “Morning Beautiful.”
The next surge is one of absolute joy and Steve knows that he’s giving off something similar. Bucky lifts up, staring down at Steve with pure, unadulterated love shining in his face. “Did you sleep well?”
“I’ve never slept better. Did you?” Bucky lays his head back on Steve’s chest, drawing lazy circles on the super soldier’s stomach.
“So well that I want to stay here indefinitely.” Steve barks a laugh, caressing up and down Bucky’s back. “Think we could just get everything delivered and live in this bed?”
The snort he gets as an answer is accompanied by a childlike glee burning its way through their newly sealed bond. “I think people might notice that we’re missing and come looking.”
It’s Bucky’s turn to snort. “They might get an eyeful of things we don’t want to share.”
“Buck?” Steve is giving off trepidation and Bucky looks up again. He’s concerned, but under the uncertainty, is still the love. “What would you think about us living together?”
The grin Steve gets in return is blinding. “If you think I’m going to go live with my sister after last night you’re not as smart as I think you are.”
“I love you.”
Bucky rolls on top of Steve. “I love you too. Now let’s make sure our bond is really sealed.”
Steve rolls him over, hovering barely an inch away. “You are a genius, Bucky Barnes.”