Chapter Text
The only heaven I’ll be sent to
Yunho didn’t expect to fall in love with a boy, especially because he grew up in a strict Christian household that forbade any kind of same gender romance. He was raised to believe it was wrong, and San was raised the same way.
It was ironic how they met. San’s family had just moved into town and were searching for a new church to attend, and they just so happened to find the one Yunho went to. They met after the service one day.
Yunho’s family was almost like the head family of the church. They were always preparing and setting up the church fundraisers, and they were very involved in many aspects of the church. San’s family wanted to be like that. His parents wanted to be as involved so they introduced themselves to Yunho’s family.
Standing quite a few inches below Yunho, San was intimidated by him at first, but soon realized he was nothing more than a friendly giant. Yunho didn’t know if it was because the younger boy had such an infectious personality or if something was wrong with himself, but he felt something he’d never felt that day. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way towards another boy, but he couldn’t help it.
They quickly became attached at the hip. The two boys were inseparable. Their families believed them to be the best of friends, but they were way more than that.
Their relationship grew quick. They were infatuated with each other. San was in love with every single part of Yunho, and Yunho loved every part of San. They kept their relationship secret. The people of their strict Christian town would call it a disgrace if they were found out.
Is when I’m alone with you.
The boys laid together on a hill on the outskirts of town – their own secret hideout. San rested his head on Yunho’s bare chest and traced small patterns across his stomach, and Yunho lightly ran his fingers through San’s dark hair only pulling it every now and then.
This was the only place they knew they could be together. No one knew of this place – that they knew of. This is where they could easily express their love for each other without feeling the worry of being caught. It’s where they can be themselves without feeling the judgement of society.
The sun was quickly setting behind the trees, and they knew they had to be returning home soon. Yunho moved his hand from San’s hair to rub his back, “Baby we have to head back soon.”
San sighed and buried his face in his boyfriend’s chest and groaned, “I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here with you.”
Yunho sighed and sat up and reached for his shirt which was thrown to the side of them, “I know baby. I want to stay with you too, but we can’t let them get suspicious.” He cupped San’s face in his hands and placed a kiss on top of his head. “One day I’m going to walk around proudly calling you my boyfriend, and I’ll kiss you anywhere in public. One day, baby.”
San frowned and lightly gripped Yunho’s wrists that cupped his face, looking into his big brown eyes, “I wish we wouldn’t have to hide.” San wanted to scream. He wanted to scream to everyone how much he loved Yunho, but it simply wasn’t possible.
The older stood from the ground, helping San up along the way, and handed him his shirt. “One day our parents will understand.”
Still with a frown on his face, San put his shirt back on. He watched as Yunho gathered their things from the ground, the sun now almost disappearing behind the horizon. San just loved him more than he loved himself. It broke his heart that he had to keep it a secret from everyone.
Seeing his boyfriend still with a frown on his face, Yunho pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back softly. He felt the tears from his boyfriend soaking his shirt, which alarmed him. “Baby, baby, baby, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” Yunho squeezed him tighter and kissed the top of his head, “Baby I know it’s hard, but one day when we’re older, we’ll leave this God forsaken town, and we’ll move to the city, and then I’ll scream how much I love you from every single rooftop I can get to. It’s hard now, but I promise it’ll be better in the future.”
San had wrapped his arms tightly around Yunho and just simply nodded into his chest. His words always managed to calm him. He couldn’t wait for the day they could be together without having to worry about what anyone said. San pulled away and wiped away his tears, “let’s head back now.”
Yunho nodded at him and reached for his hand as the walked back to the car that sat at the bottom of the hill on the side of the road, not even paying any mind to the cars the drove passed them as he placed a kiss on San’s lips before they both climbed into the car.
I was born sick, but I love it.
It wasn’t long after that Yunho dropped San off that he arrived back at his house. He noticed when he walked in that it was eerily silent. Normally his parents had music playing or were conversing about the past weeks sermon or were just lively in general.
“Hello?” He called out as he made his way into the kitchen. It looked like dinner hadn’t even been made yet. Maybe his parents went out for dinner. He made his way towards the living room, and that’s where he saw his parents.
They sat closely to each other on the couch, his mother looking awfully distraught, “Is everything okay?” He moved farther into the room and realized his mother had more of an angry than distraught look on her face.
“What were you doing today?” His father questioned; his tone was rather harsh which threw Yunho off. His parents never spoke this way.
“I was out with San, why? Was I not supposed to go out today?” He shuffled on his feet, now feeling more anxious than he should.
“What were you doing with him?” His father continued; his tone unwavering.
“I, uh, we were just hanging out like we normally do.”
“You were just ‘hanging out’?” his mother said, almost rather harshly, “I wasn’t aware that holding hands and kissing was considered ‘hanging out’.” His mother stood from the couch, her next question completely coming from the left field, “Are you romantically involved with that boy? That boy who you’ve been claiming to be just your friend?”
Yunho felt his stomach drop to the floor. How did they know? Who saw them? Did someone see and snitch? He didn’t know exactly how to respond, so he stayed silent. Honestly, he just couldn’t find the words to say.
“Do you not have anything to say?” His father asked and Yunho just shook his head. “Nothing at all? You’re not even going to try and deny it.”
He shook his head again. “I’m not going to deny it if it’s the truth.”
He heard his mother gasp and saw his father stand from the couch; his face contorted with disgust. “How could you?” His mother spat. “We raised you better than this. You were raised to believe that this was wrong, and yet you still do it?”
“Momma, I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did.” Yunho pleaded with her, moving towards her. His heart broke when she took a step back from him.
“How long?” His father asked.
“How long what?” Yunho turned to face him and noticed his hands were almost balled into fists.
“How long has this ‘thing’ been going on? How long have you and that boy been romantically involved?” He could feel the anger radiating off of his father.
“I-I don’t know,” Yunho stuttered. He was feeling so many emotions at once and all he wanted to do was get out of there. He wanted to run. He wanted to run away from his parents, away from the town and to San. San who had always accepted him for who he was and only ever loved him. “Probably a month after he moved into town.”
His mother gasped again, “Yunho that was months ago.”
What happened next happened quicker than what Yunho could process. His father grabbed the framed family pictures that sat on the coffee table and threw one of them on the ground, shattering the glass in the process, “I will NOT have a faggot son dating some faggot boy! That is sick and disgusting and I will not stand for it.” Another photo frame was shattered and this time it was against the wall near Yunho’s head.
“Dad please,” Yunho started, almost choking back the sob he felt was threatening to spill.
“You will end things with that boy immediately or so help me God.” His father yelled to him, Yunho’s mother stood between them as a buffer, though she was avoiding looking at her own son.
“I-I can’t.” Yunho shook his head quickly, wiping away the tears that were now spilling from his eyes, “I l-love him too much. I can’t do it.”
His father yelled out seemed to set off towards him, but his mother held him back. Before he could manage to break past his mom, Yunho was running out of room and towards the front door. “You don’t even know what love is you bastard!” he heard his father yelling from the living you, “You will end things with him!”
Yunho didn’t hear anymore because he had already gone and run out of the house. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing the number of the person he knew would always be there for him.
Yunho ran down the road as he waited for San to pick up.
He sighed in relief and stopped running when he heard the other boy’s voice. “Sannie?” He said in between sobs, “Baby I need to see you.”
Command me to be well.