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The gentle, warm breeze rolling off the waves signaled to Dia that summer was around the corner. Replacing that chill from the spring months, kicking off the start of a new season and for her a new path to walk. Staring out at the sea with a rather boisterous group behind the front door to a familiar inn, Dia was home truly for the first time in over four years .
Visits from college and the few weeklong breaks were only a small taste of the home she never could soak in until now . With graduation only a couple days behind her, and a new life of work ahead, Dia took solace in the quiet moment of respite from the rowdy party thrown for her . Deep breaths and a content smile filled a moment that allowed everything to sink in. She was at home. Surrounded by seven girls she held closer than any she’d met in her years studying, and one that she never could move on from .
A rattling of the door and a bump in the back drew Dia’s attention from the picturesque scene in front of her and toward the woman at her side .
“I found ya!”
Chika was as loud as Dia remembered. Hair still the same length with that signature braid and goofy little strand sticking straight up on top . Still smiling like always, still lacking any sense of personal space like always, still looking with eyes that knew a bit too much like always, and still gorgeous like always .
“It’s not like I can out here to hide from you guys.” Dia looked back out toward the sea, Chika’s eyes too bright. “I needed a bit of fresh air, and I definitely did not need to be in there when Mari started pulling out the alcohol.”
“If it makes you feel any better Kanan is trying to keep things under control a little bit.”
“It doesn’t.”
Chika laughed. “But you should come back inside. You’re kinda the star of the show here.”
“I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.” Dia took a quick glance back to Chika, who stared with a shine too bright before looking away. “I haven’t gotten to enjoy this view very much lately.”
Silence as they stood shoulder to shoulder. Dia didn’t know how long, her sense of time going haywire as Chika stood by her like nothing was wrong. Like nothing ever happened. It was reassuring in a way, to not have to worry about the bits of awkwardness that came in the times they talked in those first years after she left .
“You can head back inside,” Dia said, motioning back toward the door. “I won’t be long.”
Chika shook her head with a hum. “It’s nice out here. So I think I’ll stay.”
Dia was never good at small talk, but something needed to be said . At least she thought something did. There wasn’t the tension she expected, but there was a tad awkwardness to the silence between them. A silence that in high school would have been filled with Chika’s inane ramblings that Dia missed so dearly . She rubbed her hands up and down the side of her dress a sweat beaded on her palms. Why couldn’t they go back to the way things were before she left all of it behind?
“Are you happy to be back here?” Chika broke the silence.
Dia met Chika’s eyes head-on. The question seeming out of the blue. “Yeah, I missed it a lot. Tokyo is nice, and there’s always something to do, but this is home.”
A faint smile across Chika’s lips as she started. “So you’re staying here for good, right? You’re taking over for your parents, or whatever.”
Dia nodded and didn’t miss the small sigh from Chika. “I’ll still have to travel for work and all that, but I’ll always come back.”
“Good.”
That faint smile turned into the bright grin that Dia was drawn in by five years ago. That playful grin and the shining glint in Chika’s eyes were the same as the ones Dia knew she would never be able to forget, and seeing them in person made her remember . Remember what she left behind.
“Was Tokyo fun?” Chika asked. “It was so cool when we got to go there with everyone for Love Live.”
“I didn’t get to see all that much of it.” Dia’s smile drooped, lips forming a straight line. “I was os busy with all my school work, and student government responsibilities that I didn’t have any time to get out and see as much of the city as I wanted to .”
“Well, that sucks.” Chika kicked at a pebble that wasn’t there, smile holding. “I’d have gone all over the place and explored the big city.”
Dia giggled. “And probably got lost and wouldn’t know what to do.”
“Hey!” Chika pushed her face in closer. “That happened one time when we went there together, and it wasn’t even my fault.”
Dia folded her arms. “I seem to remember you calling me because you couldn’t sit still while I stopped to use the restroom. So you wandered off and I had to go and find you.”
Chika looked back toward the sea, scratching the back of her head. “Okay maybe it was my fault, but it wasn’t all that bad. I mean, we found that little cafe that had that tea you liked.”
“You’re right.” Dia’s jittery heart was slowing, feeling herself fall into her familiar, comfortable rapport with Chika . “I wish I could remember the name of that place.”
“So do I.” Chika’s excitement faded and warped into a bashful stare Dia hadn’t seen in years. “That was also when we had our first kiss.”
The awkward tension was back as soon as it left, and Dia was unsure what to do. A topic she was hoping to avoid being brought up in the most nonchalant way by the person she least wanted to hear it from . She knew, deep down, that it was a talk that needed to happen. Seeing Chika smile at her like she used to made her remember. Made those long-dormant feelings rekindle into something Dia knew as her first love.
The silence gripped for a few minutes longer. Dia’s hands were back at her side sweat began to bead behind her bangs. More deep breaths and an attempt to swallow down the lump in her throat were all she could muster. She didn’t know what to say. How could she? It was her idea in the first place.
“Uhm, Dia?” Chika squeaked her question out. Her voice was fraught with worry and doubt so out of place. “Did you. Did you, ya know, meet anyone when you were in Tokyo. Cause I wouldn’t blame you one bit I mean it was four years ago and you’re pretty and I’m sure everyone there was super smart and pretty like you so I wouldn’t be surprised . I’m just kinda a little curious.”
The knots in Dia’s throat tried hard to keep her words down, but she would fight through it. This was Chika, and she deserved nothing but Honesty.
“There were two.” Dia’s answer was curt, her heartbreaking as she saw the life in Chika’s eyes die.
“Of course there were,” Chika mumbled to herself. “Are you still…”
“Oh, gods no. None of them were ever able to get very serious.” Dia’s words were quick doing anything she could to bring that shimmer back.
A sigh from Chika, much longer than before. “Why not?”
“I never had much time for it.” Dia looked to Chika, who shot back a look that said she didn’t buy it. “And honestly , I don’t think I was every looking all that hard for someone to love. Which now I can see wasn’t very fair to them while we were dating.”
It was the truth, not all of it, but the bits that Dia was comfortable telling Chika. How could she say that she never truly got over some high school puppy love that made it barely a year? How could she say that she couldn’t get some loud, obnoxious, and, in her own words, normal girl out of her mind long enough to be with anyone else ? How could she say any of that knowing she was the one that ended it all?
“Are you still not looking?” Chika’s question was met with an odd stare from Dia. “For someone to fall in love with, I mean.”
How open could Dia be? She wasn’t blind. The obvious pain that Chika was in from bringing the topic up was written on a face that Dia learned could hide things better than most thought . But she learned to read it. The jittery eyes, the uneven smile, and the dim eyes were things Dia wished she could say she hadn’t seen before. Chika was in pain, and searching for hope the Dia knew she could give, but was it alright? Was any of this fair to Chika? That rekindling love burning brighter and brighter and the sun dropped lower and lower behind the waves .
It was Dia’s turn to be strong for Chika.
“I’m not looking.” Dia wanted to wait, but Chika’s worsening mood forced her to keep going. “I’ve always only ever had one person in mind. Even during those years at college there was one girl who I just couldn’t stop thinking about, and no matter who asked me out, or who I tried to date, none of them ever came close to how I felt about her .”
Chika was speechless, and Dia found it cute. A bashful yet scared Chika that was so new yet beautiful like all the Chika’s were. It was unfair of Dia, she knew that. To come back and expect things to fall into place like she never left, but the flame was back. The love was back faster and deeper than she expected.
Licking her lips and with bright cheeks Chika looked up, rubbing her hands together with a nervous vigor. “Dia, I really really don’t wanna get my hopes up, but this girl. Is it.”
“I know this is so selfish of me, Chika, and I’m sorry.” Dia didn’t want Chika to continue, the fragility not something she ever wanted to see again. “I said we needed to break up when I left and I think it was the right thing to do, but. Chika, I missed you so much, and I know things might not go back to the way they were right away, but I want you to know that I love you just like I did before . I’ll never ask for something this selfish again, but please let’s try again.”
There was a tug on one of Dia’s folded arms that forced them apart. A nervous hand interlacing their fingers with her own. So warm, an act of intimacy bringing a year’s worth of wonderful memories with it. It wasn’t an answer, Dia wouldn’t believe any of it to be true without Chika saying it, but it brought hope. Dumb, irrational, yet wonderful hope.
“I never hated you or anything,” Chika said, voice trembling as she slid in, shoulder touching Dia’s. “I cried a ton, and if I ever vent to You again she might explode, but you were just looking out for me. I still think it was stupid, but you did what you thought was best. That’s what Mari and Kanan always told me at least.”
“So?” Dia squeezed the hand in her own as if she were the one in need of reassurance. Asking a question she was sure she already had the answer to, but needing to hear it.
A lightweight rolled onto Dia’s shoulder that she still knew from the weight. It was Chika’s head. Still accompanied by the faintest hint of oranges and comfort.
“I’m so happy.” Chika sniffled. “I didn’t think you’d want me back. I thought you’d find some beautiful, smart woman in Tokyo that I’d never be able to compete with. Because I’m still plain ‘ol me, and you’re even more amazing Dia, but I’m so happy because I never stopped thinking about you.”
“I could never find anyone to replace you.” Dia hated that that side of Chika was still there, even after so long. “You’re the amazing girl who pulled me back into a wonderful life with friends that I’ll cherish forever, and I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure you understand that .”
Chika nuzzled in closer. “I still love you, Dia.”
Dia hummed, rubbing small circles on the back of Chika’s hand. “And I still love you, Chika. So much.”
Quiet again, but this time Dia was content to sit and bask in it. The party back inside could wait. Knowing there was work to do, and that this was a start of something that would need the effort to grow. Those thoughts were for later. Instead, Dia enjoyed the moment alone with the girl she never stopped loving. Knowing it would be the first of hundreds to come.