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The wind whipped through the car as Eren cruised down the highway. His mother hated driving with the windows down in the city – it’s all the smog; I feel like I can’t breathe – but he’d never shared her reservations. It didn’t matter if the temperature had dipped into the forties and the fumes from the surrounding vehicles reeked. He’d always craved that wild, carefree feeling, however he could get it.
Eren downshifted as he exited and turned off into a suburb. It was one of the older neighborhoods in Atlanta, but unlike Inman Park or West End, both of which had been restored for their historic significance, this one hadn’t aged so gracefully. Most of the homes were dilapidated, battered siding and faded paint all but hidden behind overgrown landscapes. The potential remained, but no one cared to act on it. Those that lived there needed a roof over the heads, not a showpiece.
Stopping in front of one such house, he tapped the horn a couple times and leaned over to watch the front door. Like its neighbors, the bungalow didn’t look like much. The years hadn’t been kind, and the general wear and tear of two teenage boys spending time there hadn’t helped. But he knew for a fact the inside was impeccable. Not fancy or renovated, just spotlessly clean. Eren was just about to honk again when a familiar figure walked out.
Levi slammed the door behind him and jogged down the cracked sidewalk. He was too preoccupied with yanking on a beanie to glance up until he was almost at the car, so when he did, his steps faltered. Only once he’d caught sight of Eren grinning from behind the wheel did they resume, sigh fogging in the evening air as he shook his head.
“Well, well, well…” Levi braced his hands on the car and jumped up, sliding feet-first through the open window to land in the passenger seat. “This is one hell of a Christmas present. Someone must have been a good boy last year.”
“More like an I’m sorry I’m never around, let me make it up to you by buying your forgiveness present.”
“Again?”
Nodding, Eren shifted into gear. “The whole break.”
“He’s a world-renowned doctor. He should be able to arrange his fucking schedule to actually be there for his family.” Levi wasn’t speaking to anyone so much as expressing his general disgust, but Eren shrugged out of habit. It wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation, and it wouldn’t be the last. The suburb fell away as they headed towards campus. “Where’d he run off to this time?”
“Bosnia,” Eren said.
“Exotic.”
“Yeah, I guess. Here…” Shoving Levi’s arm out of the way, Eren pulled a container of leftover lasagna from the backseat and handed it to him. “Mom said to tell you hi and that she hoped you had a good winter break.”
Growing up, it was no secret that Levi had a rough home life. His mom died of an overdose when he was five, and he’d never known his dad. The only family he had left was an uncle who drank too much and cared too little. They were thirteen the first time Levi had to spend the night with Eren because there was no food in the house and his uncle had gone on a bender the day before, and his mom had decided then and there to unofficially adopt him. Eight years later, she was still watching out for him.
“Good ol’ Carla,” Levi said, snagging a plastic fork from the collection in the center console, shoveling in a mouthful, and gesturing to the new car. “Look on the bright side: at least this apology gift is useful.”
Eren shot him a skeptical look. “Did you get a new attitude for Christmas? You’re never this optimistic.”
“I’m just grateful I don’t have to ride in that piece of shit you used to call a car anymore.”
“Hey now!” They swerved slightly as Eren used the wheel to sit up. It didn’t matter if Levi was right. There was something special about a guy’s first car, and he felt the need to defend it on principle. “That piece of shit got us through high school and almost three years of college.”
“It was filthy,” Levi retorted.
“And yet, you never once turned down a ride.”
“Tch.”
Levi tucked into the lasagna and scowled out the window. Brooding silence was his trademark way of conceding defeat without actually having to say it. Eren smiled to himself but kept quiet. Teasing Levi was tempting, but he’d learned early on not to push his luck. Not all the time, at least. Sometimes he just couldn’t help it.
“You know, that car might have been a piece of shit, but it hung in there,” Eren said. They passed through a series of stoplights, then turned into the parking lot for one of the on-campus apartment complexes. “Those were good times. I lost my virginity in that backseat.”
“Which is exactly why I never sat back there.”
Eren scoffed. “Don’t act all high and mighty. You lost your virginity in there, too.” Most of the visitor parking spaces had already been claimed, so it took a couple loops before they found a spot decently close to Hange’s apartment.
“On there, not in there,” Levi corrected. The car hadn’t even come to a complete stop before he flung open the door and crawled out. “I was on the hood. There’s a difference.”
“Is there?”
“Look…” Levi met Eren’s eyes over the top of the car. “All I was saying is that Grisha stepped up his game. This car might be the brightest shade of red possible, but it’s still a better gift than usual. Not like the matching pajamas fiasco of ‘09”
Eren groaned. “God, those were the worst. Ugly Christmas sweater meets Buddy the Elf.”
“And Carla still hung the family picture on the wall, your impressive high waters notwithstanding.”
“I was going through a growth spurt, thank you very much,” Eren defended. “Do you remember when he gave me that chia pet?”
Nodding, Levi stashed the food container in the backseat. He’d probably break it out again after they’d left, some hearty food to balance out the alcohol. “My favorite is still the collection of antique Alpine sheep bells.”
They began to make their way across the parking lot. Bass thumped indistinctly from an apartment on the third floor, the song occasionally coming into focus whenever someone opened the patio door. Eren locked the car with a yawn. He wasn’t sure how he was going to stay awake long enough to enjoy the party. Whoever had scheduled Theory of Ordinary Differential Equations at seven-thirty on Friday mornings deserved a slow, painful death. Only one more semester, though. Four and a half months of torture until they were free.
“I didn’t even ask how your first week went. Are your classes—” Levi crossed into Eren’s path and stopped so suddenly they almost collided, and Eren reached out on instinct, steadying himself on Levi’s shoulder. “What the hell?”
Then he paused. Levi was squared off in front of him, eyes narrow, mouth tense. To anyone else, his expression might have been intimidating, but Eren knew that look, knew what it meant. With a sigh, he raked a hand through his hair.
“Seriously? Here?”
Levi didn’t answer, just shifted back to Eren’s side. There was a hint of a smirk, but Eren chose to ignore it, annoyed that the semester hadn’t even properly begun and they were already doing this. He’d come to the party to chill, not play a part. However, he dutifully draped an arm over Levi’s shoulders and felt the corresponding weight as Levi slipped one hand into his back pocket before they continued on.
The majority of the guests were inside, but Hange’s circle of friends was a wide one, too wide for their relatively small apartment, and the overflow had spilled outside. A trio of girls sitting on the benches, a small group smoking in the stairwell, a few other individuals scattered here and there. And then there was a guy – the guy, most likely – hovering on the balcony, casting furtive glances their way.
Pasting on a sloppy smile, Eren nuzzled into the hair peeking out from beneath Levi’s beanie. “What were you up to over the break?”
“Nothing, unfortunately. It’s the same guy from last semester. I didn’t think he knew Hange.” Levi played along, turning into the motion so Eren’s lips hovered near his temple. “Your breath stinks. Did you even brush your teeth today?”
Eren’s smile transitioned into something a little more genuine as he huffed a laugh. “That would be the side of broccoli Mom spared you of.”
“Disgusting.”
“Love you too, babe.” Knowing how much Levi loathed pet names, Eren straightened before he ended up with a broken nose. Better to not tempt fate. “You know I don’t mind helping out, but you really need to stop saying we’re dating. People might think you’re being serious.”
“That’s kind of the point,” Levi said.
“I mean people we know. Mikasa is starting to—”
“Christ, this guy can’t take a hint. Well, if he wants a fucking show…” Levi swung around in front of Eren again. “Can we up the ante?”
Eren grinned. “I thought my breath stunk.” But then he was being manhandled backwards against the nearest tree. “Shit…” The rough bark dug painfully into his spine. “Sometimes I forget how strong you are.”
Levi’s hands were on his waist, thumbs edging beneath the hem of his sweater. They traced along his lowest rib before drifting down to rub circles into the dip of his pelvis. Eren rested his head back against the tree and found the moon through the foliage. The feeling of Levi sucking lightly at the hollow of his neck, exhales hot across his skin, was hypnotic. For someone who could barely hold a casual conversation without making it awkward, Levi was really good with his mouth.
“Someone’s going all out.”
Eren felt more than heard Levi’s hum. “As if you don’t like it.”
“I didn’t say that. But as good as this feels…” And it did feel good, the way Levi’s teeth grazed along his throat. “It’s not just about our friends anymore.” Sliding his hands up Levi’s arms, Eren grabbed his shoulders and shifted them so Levi was the one pinned to the tree. “You realize this affects my dating life, too, right? What if I’m supposed to meet my soulmate while we’re like this? He’d just keep on walking. I could end up dying alone all because you’re allergic to normal human contact.”
“Stop being dramatic. Everyone already knows we’re soulmates.”
Eren leaned heavily into Levi. “I've been your excuse the past four years. If you’re going to act like we’re together, the least you could do is take me on a date.”
It all started innocently enough. Levi had been paired with some girl for a project their freshman year who’d been wholly oblivious to the fact that he would never – in any way, shape, or form – be interested. To avoid having to break it to her point blank, he’d enlisted Eren to play the boyfriend. After that, it became a habit, a convenient excuse to get out of potential bad dates or one night stands without making things more awkward than they already were. Eren just wasn’t sure when a few smiles, whispers in the ear, and an arm around the shoulder escalated into… well, this. Whatever this was. Or when, exactly, his feelings had begun to shift.
Levi’s fingers threaded into Eren’s hair. “We’re broke college students who still live at home and work part time at Chick-fil-a. Which of us can afford an actual date?”
“It doesn’t have to be expensive.”
“You’re saying you’d be perfectly fine with chicken nuggets off the dollar menu? Karaoke at Moondogs? A Sunday matinee? Discounted bowling on senior citizen night?”
“Mmm.” Levi scratched lightly at his scalp, tangled and tugged every so often, and Eren couldn’t help but bury his face in the crook of Levi’s neck. He smelled fresh and clean, like always. “I was thinking a tandem bike ride through Piedmont.”
Levi snorted. “Fat chance.”
Smiling at the image, Eren nosed the sensitive spot behind Levi’s ear. “It’s the thought that counts,” he said. “So long as we’re spending time together, who cares what we’re doing.”
“Fine, I’ll just take you to Lookout Point and blow you.”
“How romantic.”
“Hey!” A yell pierced through the background noise of the party, and Eren and Levi’s heads snapped up. On the balcony above them, Hange hung over the railing, grinning manically. “Could you keep it PG? I love a good show, but not everyone wants to see you two get off.”
Levi cleared his throat. “Tactful as ever, Hange, thank you.”
“Anytime,” they said, lifting their beer in a mock toast. “And if you need a room to finish up, you’re always welcome to use mine.”
“Over my dead body.”
Hange disappeared inside with a cackling laugh, leaving them alone except for the group still smoking in the stairwell who appeared to have been watching as well. The guy on the balcony they’d been playing it up for was gone. Who knew how long they’d been going at it needlessly. With their intended audience absent, Eren stepped back. His hands slid free of Levi’s back pockets – when had he put them there? – and he tried in vain to smooth down his hair.
“I can’t believe you wouldn’t go on a bike ride with me.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t believe you just skimmed right over my offer to blow you.”
Levi led the way across the yard, up the stairs, and down the hall. Hidden from view, Eren took a moment to rearrange himself. It wasn’t an intentional reaction, but he wasn’t exactly immune to attractive men shoving him against a tree, friend or not. Thankfully, the smokers didn’t say anything as they passed by, just offered some teasing looks that Eren ducked his head to avoid. The heat hadn’t quite bled from his face yet when Levi paused before Hange’s front door.
“For the record, if I really were going to take you on a date, I wouldn’t do any of those things. I’d work extra shifts or…” Levi’s nose wrinkled with distaste. “Help out in Uncle Kenny’s shop or something. That way we could go somewhere nice.”
To say Eren was surprised was an understatement. He stepped back, regarding Levi carefully. “But… you hate dressing up in the cow suit.”
“I do.”
“And working on cars.”
“Yeah, and spending time with Uncle Kenny,” Levi said. He’d adopted his most unassuming expression, glanced around the hallway at everything except Eren like he was bored. “But I hate the idea of being a shitty boyfriend more.”
Music that had been muted on the lawn down below reverberated loudly around them now. It would be a miracle if Hange made it through the night without receiving any complaints. It would also be a miracle if anyone had proper hearing the following morning. When a redhead who looked vaguely familiar squeezed between them to open the door, the noise that emanated from the apartment was deafening.
Eren leaned against the wall opposite Levi. “You…”
The word trailed off, and it was that hesitation that finally had Levi meeting his gaze. Eren knew better. He knew exactly what would happen, but he couldn’t help it. One side of his mouth quirked up in a half-grin and his eyes narrowed mischievously. Immediately, Levi crossed his arms, chin lifted defiantly as if daring Eren to poke fun at what he’d said.
“That’s actually… really sweet,” Eren said, tilting his head. “I take back any bad thing I’ve ever said or thought about you. You’d make a great boyfriend.”
There was a tangible shift in the atmosphere, and the tension disappeared as quickly as it had come. Everything from Levi’s stony expression to the stiffness in his shoulders and back seemed to unwind. “Damn right I would.” Levi turned, but before he could open the door more than a couple inches, Eren lunged forward to yank it shut again.
“Levi, wait.”
It was stupid. He was stupid. Their hands were still layered over each other on the doorknob, bodies close, faces closer. The music was thrumming in time with his heartbeat, and Levi was staring up at him from the corner of his eye in thinly-veiled confusion. And Eren had no idea what he was doing. Maybe he was reading too much into things or maybe it was just his dick talking. If he continued, it could all blow up in his face. But then, he’d never been one for self-control. The half-formed thought that had been flitting around his brain for months was now stuck in his throat, and he had to ask. He couldn’t not.
“This is… this is all theoretical, right?”
Levi arched a brow. “Do you want it to be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe?” The door opened from the inside, and they drew back against either side of the doorframe to let Ymir and Historia through. Eren waited until they were out of range, then shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and plowed forward before he lost his nerve. “Or not? I mean, we’ve known each other for over ten years now, and neither of us have had anything special in all that time.”
“You’re being idealistic. What if I don’t want something special?”
That was Levi’s fear talking, not that he would ever admit to it. A lifetime of people letting him down. Bringing it up only tended to make things worse, but it hurt Eren, who went through every day with his heart on his sleeve, to see Levi constantly holding people at arm’s length.
“Everyone wants something special. To feel good, appreciated,” Eren said. “Even you.”
There it was again, that challenge. Crossed arms, hunched shoulders, set jaw. “And you think you can do that for me.” A would-be question hardened by the quiet defiance ingrained in Levi’s every movement.
“I think so, yeah.” Eren offered a hesitant smile. “Plus, we already know the way each other works, so we could skip that awkward beginning phase.”
Come on, Levi.
Don’t shut me out.
Not this time.
“It might be weird,” Levi said as his eyes flicked back and forth between Eren’s. “Scratch that, it will be weird.”
A sharp bark of laughter spilled out before Eren could stop it. “We’ve been pretending to date each other since high school. You’ve probably felt me up more than everyone else I’ve been with combined. It’s already weird.”
“And your soulmate?”
“Eh…” Eren shrugged. “He’ll find someone else. I doubt he’d kiss as well as you anyway.”
The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched, but he let the silence between them drag out a while longer. When he finally relented, it was with an exaggerated sigh, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Fine. This is going to be so fucking hard to explain, but okay. Whatever. Just don’t expect me to suddenly change my mind about that stupid bike ride.”
“But we’re good on karaoke?”
“Eren…”
“Bowling, then.
“Eren.”
“Alright, fine! You drive a hard bargain, but I guess I’ll settle for the blowjob at Lookout Point.”