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“You’re impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like- like you’re from a different time. You never eat or drink anything, you don’t go out in the sunlight. How old are you?”
“Seventeen.”
“How long have you been seventeen?”
“A while.”
“I know what you are.”
“Say it, out loud. Say it!”
“... Vampire.”
Tim bursts out laughing, joining Jay in breathless wheezing. After hours of editing the day’s footage and trying to find answers, it’s almost 4 AM and Tim has somehow managed to convince Jay to give up his search and just relax for once. Even more bewildering is their chosen method of having fun; Tim had suggested watching Twilight, and for some godforsaken reason, Jay had let him put on one of the worst movies of the century. The delirious state of mind that comes with the hours of the early morning, when time is skewed and nothing feels real, combined with the absolute masterpiece that is the script of Twilight (2008) has led to Tim and Jay in a dingy motel bed, crying from laughter and doubled over the pillow they’ve propped Jay’s laptop on.
Once both of them have become less hysterical (which takes almost five whole minutes, a surprising feat for Tim who barely smiles, let alone laughs), there’s silence - the comfortable kind that neither Jay nor Tim know what to do with, and. Jay can feel his brain shutting off, the proximity of Tim’s face and the effects of his hysteria and the lack of sleep that comes with paranoia and a racing mind proving too much for it. And the thing is, he’s aware of how stupid kissing Tim would be - really, there’s no possible positive outcome. But it’s silent, and they’re staring at each other, and wow, Tim’s eyes are so, so pretty, how did he not notice that before? And for the first time in his life, Jay feels like he’s wanted.
Like he could kiss Tim, and Tim could maybe kiss him back, and he’s loved Tim for so long that it’s not even a question, really, it feels as natural as brushing his teeth or holding his camera steady while walking in the woods, and he’s dreamt of what Tim’s lips would feel like against his own that it takes him a few seconds to notice that Tim’s frozen. He almost flinches back, heart racing, and he can’t bring himself to look at Tim. After a few seconds, Tim reaches out to cradle Jay’s face (because that’s what he’s doing, it has to be, he’s being so gentle and it’s killing Jay) and he winces. Closes his eyes.
He’s honestly expecting screaming or maybe even Tim slapping him, he probably deserves it anyway, but instead, he’s met with Tim’s mouth against his. This time, it’s even better somehow, and Jay’s confused for a moment before he realizes that he’s wasting valuable time, so he decides to ask Tim what the fuck he’s doing at a later date. They stay like that for what feels like forever, and afterwards, the warmth that originated in his chest migrates to Jay’s head. He feels lightheaded, filled with a kind of giddiness that makes him feel like he can take on the world and win. He opens his eyes a few seconds later, and Tim’s grinning at him. That fact alone is enough to make him smile like the lovesick idiot he is, and before long they’ve both dissolved into giggles, collapsing on the pillows Tim drags under their heads.
Jay wants to ask, “What are we doing?”, wants to make sure that Tim’s on the same page, but then he looks at him and he knows Tim well enough to realize that Tim wouldn’t kiss him if he didn’t like him. Sure, the shitty part of his brain tells him otherwise, but he’s not about to ruin the comfortable aura in the room because of paranoia and anxiety. So he stays quiet, and when Tim clasps his hands behind Jay’s neck and pulls him close, he simply shuts his eyes and thinks, “ I love you .”
Later that night, his insomnia decides to let him have peace for once, and the last thing he hears is Tim’s voice, telling him exactly that, and yeah, it’s late and he’s probably past delirious and it’s most likely his imagination acting up because he desperately wants to be right. Still, he falls asleep with a smile on his face, and quietly whispers, “I love you too.”