Chapter Text
Oh no, not now
Yoongi held a cardboard box full of takeout in his hand as he stared into the room that was his and Namjoon's apartment for nine years. His best friend, Namjoon, had his own cardboard box in his hand.
"So it's true," he said in an accusatory tone as Namjoon looked up from the box he was taping shut, "you're really moving out!"
Namjoon winced, his face scrunching up in a frown, he shrugged, not replying. Yoongi huffed and set down the take out on the skinny table that sat next to their minifridge, "you can't move out," he declared, "we've been roommates for nine years! Nine years, Namjoon-ah!"
Namjoon rolled his eyes, "that's probably the longest time I've lived with somebody that wasn't my family, hyung," he replied snarkily, smoothing out the tape on the box and then standing up, "Hobi-ah is my boyfriend, and neither of us wanna keep bothering our roommates."
"Is that all I am to you?!" Yoongi gasped dramatically, leaning against the open door of their dorm room, the back of his hand on his forehead and slouched over, "I can't believe!"
"Hyung-"
"My best friend!"
"Hyung..."
"My roommate of nine years! The snotty little kid I knew in middle school who got bullied for wearing a Ryan backpack who I took care of because I care about him!" He wailed, upping the drama factor as Namjoon's face grew redder and redder.
This-this being Yoongi's dramatics-happened at least once a week. Everyone in the block knew it well, and they knew not to come out to check up on them anymore.
"We met in middle school," Namjoon snapped, filling his cheeks with air and glaring at Yoongi with puffed-out cheeks. He let out the air in a sigh, his scrunched up shoulders slouching, "listen, hyung," he said, "I love Hobi a lot. And we've talked about this a lot. I'm not gonna be gone forever, and his roommate already agreed to move in once I moved out!"
"WHAT?!"
Yes, Yoongi's dramatics were a regular occurrence in the dorms. His raised voice? Extremely rare.
A few doors creaked open, but Yoongi didn't care to look back at them and glare them back into their rooms.
"You're letting a stranger move in with me?!" His voice lowered a bit, but the glare he was sending Namjoon's way was enough to make the taller man wither.
"He's nice," he said weakly, wobbly smiling at Yoongi who snorted.
"So are psychopaths when you first meet them," he spat, closing the door firmly behind him as he walked further into the dorm, "Joon-ah, how could you? I don't even know this person! What if they're like, loud? Or messy?"
"Messier than you?" Namjoon shot back. Yoongi's mouth clamped closed.
"Okay," he pointed at Namjoon, trying really hard NOT to look at the mess of clothes, school supplies, and what might be a cum-sock on his bed, "you got me there. But!"
He raised his hand up, shaking his fist angrily, then deflated when Namjoon jutted out his lower lip and started to wobble it.
"Don't," he whispered, narrowing his eyes as Namjoon's eyes started to water, "Kim Namjoon, I swear to God-"
Namjoon didn't relent. Yoongi felt his resolve crack and then shatter like glass as an honest-to-God tear started to make its way down Namjoon's round and reddened cheek.
Yoongi sputtered, his tongue feeling too big for his mouth. He lowered his hand back to his side and clenched his jaw. Namjoon made a fake whimpering sound, which just so happened to be all it took to make the weak man that Yoongi was crumble.
"Fucking-fine!" He snorted, "but if he's a weird asshole who smells like ranch, I'm moving in with you and Hobi."
Namjoon's frown vanished, and it was like the tear that was making its way down his cheek got sucked right back up into his duct, vanishing like it was never there.
"Really?!" His face split into a massive grin, his dimples popping into his cheeks, "aww, you're so nice, hyung!" He basically skipped to the door, but when he reached Yoongi he smacked the younger man up the head with a hiss.
"You're a fucking brat," he grumbled, swiping the take out from the table before Namjoon could descend upon it like the rabid animal he was, and shuffled back further into the dorm, sitting down on his bed as he watched Namjoon whine quietly about the pain, playing it up in an attempt to get some of the chicken Yoongi bought-and then skittering off to finish packing when he got a piece.
He watched Namjoon for a bit. The majority of his things were already packed up, his soundboards that spilled over out of his studio, posters that had been hung up for so long that there was a slight discolouration around where they had been hung. Any of his figurines, his pet Marimo balls (Yoonji and Namsoo, names given to the balls of algae in a drunken stupor) were already with Hoseok in his cozy apartment that Yoongi had been to a few times, first to meet Hoseok and then to smoke weed with him. Already, the dorm felt...Weird.
Empty.
Yes, the dorms here were big. The size of a large studio apartment with a tiny stove and a minifridge, but now without all of Namjoon's weird figurines, his Ryan dolls, and his general being, it felt empty. It was a weird feeling, and Yoongi didn't like it.
"This is the last box," Namjoon said, patting a large box with words messily written on the side spelling out 'Dog Toys', "Hobi-ah will be back soon with Monie and Holly."
"That's when you're leaving?" Yoongi asked in a small voice. His voice matched how he felt in this empty space. Small, alone, deflated. Namjoon forced a smile and nodded stiffly, "I'll only be a little ways away," he straightened up and walked over to Yoongi's bed, pushing aside a sock and making a face at it when he saw that it was almost as firm as a wooden plank. He tossed it into the garbage can where it clattered noisily.
Although he was taller, Yoongi was the hyung. He curled an arm around Namjoon's shoulder and made him rest his head on him. Because of the height difference, the so-called resting was more of a backache to Namjoon. Well, he brought it upon himself for moving out, so there!
"Sometimes," Namjoon mused, his voice tight from his lean, "I think that you might be the younger one."
Yoongi snorted but didn't disagree.
Namjoon continued, "you...You're like a cat."
Yoongi scrunched his nose, grunting when Namjoon pushed against his nose with his fingertip, "see? A cat," he scrunched his finger up and down gently until Yoongi batted his hand away.
"Your analogy makes no sense," he grumbled, "how the fuck am I like a cat?"
"You don't like pets," Namjoon observed, "but you want cuddles, like, every night. And you like," he made a noise in his throat, "stare at stuff, and I'm pretty sure I caught you chewing on a plant."
"It was a salad, Joon-ah."
"Then why did you eat it like it was poison, hmm?"
They lapsed into silence after that. Namjoon was big and gave off heat like a space heater, and although Yoongi never wanted to admit it, he was going to miss his snuggle buddy.
"Are y'all snugglin' without me?" Hoseok's cheerful voice rang from the door. Yoongi looked up to see Hoseok leaning against the doorframe, very different from Namjoon's slouched overdramatic pose, Hoseok with his borderline fluorescent yellow and pink t-shirt with flamingos on it, his shorts with a rip in the side which crawled up his meaty thigh to show a bit of his hot dog patterned underwear.
The worst thing about his outfit, however, was his chunky Louis Vitton sneakers, black and looking like they were arched in the middle. Hoseok had saved up for two months to buy those monstrosities and washed them nightly with a fever that would give any neat-freak an orgasm.
Beside his feet, panting and happy, were Monie, Holly, and Mickey. A trio of dogs as different as the three men were. Monie, a very calm dog who was politely seated in the door, was eyeing the sock that was in the garbage with sharp eyes. Holly, Yoongi's stinky bastard baby of a puppy, was flopped down half-asleep with his custom-made harness making his red curls bulge out. And Mickey. Oh, poor Mickey.
Yoongi had never in his entire fucking life had ever seen a dog that was more saddened by the horrors of life. He was a cute dog, but his huge eyes and permanent frowny face was a staple at all of the dog parks in their city. Every dog owner, and even people who didn't like dogs, wanted a picture of Mickey because of just how fucking sad he looked.
Despite his mopey face, Mickey's tail was wagging and his ears were perked up. Yes, the three men were very similar to their dogs. But aren't all children just copies of their parents?
"Hey, babe," Namjoon got up, easily getting away from Yoongi's goblin-like grasp and slinking next to his boyfriend to smooch his cheeks. Mickey immediately bounced onto his hind feet, pawing at Namjoon's bare legs and begging for pats.
Yoongi pouted, exaggerating his pout by slumping his shoulders, sighing, and even going so far as to grab the little cloud pillow, named Goo, and putting it over his face just to let the happy couple know just how sad he was about losing his best friend. Who, if the readers hadn't guessed yet, had lived together for NINE YEARS.
Hoseok's sunny smile didn't change when he noticed Yoongi's moping if anything it got brighter. "Don't' worry, hyung!" He said, crouching down to let Holly off of his leash and wrestle the poodle out of his harness. As soon as he was free, he took off like a bullet towards Yoongi and marked his spot on the bed by jumping up and slamming his hind paws into Yoongi's balls before licking his face like he just hadn't jeopardized Yoongi's chance of having kids.
That is if he was straight.
"I'll walk Namjoon-ah every day," Hoseok continued, cupping Namjoon's face and smooching his lips onto his boyfriends, just to rub it in, "and I'll bring him over when you get sad!"
"Which is all the time," Namjoon half-heartedly mumbled. Yoongi would have scolded him if he wasn't trying to stop his balls from literally retreating back into his body from pain.
Hoseok grinned, not a hint of maliciousness in his face. Which if anything, made Yoongi want to punch him more. How dare Namjoon's wonderful boyfriend be caring, genuine, and pretty?! You can't be all three!
"We're gonna go, hyungie!" He sang, picking up Namjoon's box and shoving it into his arms, waving cheerfully as he dragged the taller man, who was still reeling from Hoseok's kiss, out the door.
"Bye!" He waved, and then slammed the dorm door. Yoongi let out a heavy breath, swearing softly under his breath as the pain slowly melted away. Holly sniffed his face and licked up the tears that had started to roll down his cheeks. He had tried to hold them in, but now it was really hitting him.
His Namjoonie was gone.
Now, who would be his heater?