Chapter Text
It should've been a glorious day. It should've just been reserved for the birth of the Fourth Hokage's son. But some guy in an ugly ass mask just had to show up.
"I don't think we're going to make it out alive," said Minato, wisely. Everyone knows in anime that people in masks are very dangerous.
"I didn't just give birth to die now!" Kushina complained. "Get your dumbass up and fight him!"
Minato was shock. "Why do I have to do it? Why don't you?!"
Kushina glared at him with the intensity of a thousand Rasengan's delivered straight to the chest. "I just birthed your child, or do you want to trade spots?"
Minato gave up. "Okay, damn. Fine."
Before the actual fighting began, the two ninjas began to wonder about the masked douchebag's identity. "I wonder if it could be your student who we thought died but maybe didn't?" Kushina pondered.
"Which student?"
"The gay one."
"...Which one?"
"The dead gay one!"
"Oh, Obito!" Minato paused. "Nah, it can't be him. He was a loser."
"True," said Kushina thoughtfully. The two dropped the subject.
Later, the two realized they were not prepared for this fight. The mask guy was very strong and wasn't responding to Minato's whispered disses. Minato realized to get rid of the situation, he would have to seal the Nine Tails into someone. The victim was his son, but honestly, Naruto's lucky enough he has a dad to begin with.
Minato began the jutsu shit while Kushina talked to their child. Naruto was crying like a little bitch, unaware his father was about to give him a real reason to cry. "Just know, I have no regrets in birthing you and loving you," Kushina wept, overwhelmed.
"I actually have one regret," Minato confessed. "I know I was the one who suggested Naruto, but I really wanted him to be named Minato jr."
Kushina sent him a disgusted look. "Ew." Then, she looked back towards her child. "Please don't be stupid like your father."
Minato honestly couldn't deny that, so the two said their final goodbyes before the deed was done. The two ninjas were dead now, their only legacy being their only son, Naruto, who's got a beast sealed inside him. Welp. Nobody said life was fair.
---
Years passed by. A lot of them. Like, over ten, but less than fourteen. Just, it's been a while since Minato and Kushina yeeted off the face of the planet.
Naruto had grown up knowing many of the other people in the Leaf village hated his guts. Obviously, he had no clue why. He had nooo clue why. Except, he did later found out that it had to do with something he had no control over: having a powerful beast sealed inside him. How convenient!
But he tried to avoid thinking about that. Today was a great day because he was finally going to be assigned on his ninja team after going through some bullshit to get there. He was so ready to live up his dreams of becoming the top ninja assassin. At first, he had wanted to become the Hokage, but then he was like, why though? Why would he actually want to be the Hokage of a village where everyone hated him?
He was ready to get onto a team so he could start his journey. To be honest, he could care less about his teammates. He'd be highly surprised if he was teamed up with people who didn't hate him.
Iruka, the teacher man, started calling out the assigned teams. Naruto wondered what the critera was, because some of them sounded like garbage. But he didn't care.
"Team 7... Sakura Haruno..."
Naruto paid attention, curious who the poor suckers would be. Being in a team with Sakura would be more tragic than possibly his entire childhood.
"Naruto Uzumaki... and..."
Oh my god, he didn't. Naruto turned to look at the pink haired girl, who was already scowling at him. He scowled back, which made her blink in confusion.
"Sasuke Uchiha."
Wow. Honestly, wow. Of course he had to get the most annoying teammates. Sure, just having one is bad, but just imagining what it'll be like, considering Sakura is thirsty as hell for Sasuke's dick, was hell.
He could hear Sakura screeching happily about how Sasuke's on her team, oblivious to the fact that Sasuke was glaring at her like she was some sort of buffoon. Naruto rolled his eyes.
When he was finally alone with his team, he stayed silent. Sakura was being all obnoxious like always, and Sasuke was just being chill with it even though he was pissed. "Damn, where's our sensei?" Naruto muttered to himself.
"Naruto, don't be rude!" Sakura immediately yelled at him. "Maybe he was like on a mission or something."
Yeah, okay. Naruto crossed his arms.
Their sensei arrived like thirty minutes later, so nonchalant as if he wasn't late. "What's up, fam squad? It's me, your boy Kakashi."
"What to heck?" Sakura questioned. "You're like a million years late and that's what you say!"
Kakashi flipped a page of his book, before closing it. He looked up at his students, disappointed but not surprised. "Okay, listen. Let's talk about our likes, our dislikes, and our dream. Because I care."
Sakura went first. "My likes are..." she glanced at Sasuke and blushed. "And my dislikes are stupid ass hoes who try to get my senpai's attention!" She cleared her throat. "And my dream is to..." she giggled, again looking at Sasuke.
Naruto scoffed. Typical.
Then, it was Sasuke's turn. "The things I like are confidential. I dislike everyone and everything." His voice got deeper as he put on his edgy persona. "And my dream is to kill my brother."
"Okay," said Kakashi, ignoring Naruto's bewildered look. He had known Sasuke was completely out of his mind, but come on! Was he just supposed to forget or ignore what Sasuke just said? Kakashi sent Naruto a pointed look to do his introductions.
"Honestly, I like being a little shit," Naruto said. "I believe it is what my parents would want for me. Not that I would know, haha. I dislike Sakura mainly, but also most of the village's people, but to be fair, they hated me first."
On the subject of his parents, was he just supposed to ignore the fact that he looked so much like the Fourth Hokage? Like, obviously he wasn't going to just assume he's the Fourth's son, but damn. They look so similar that they wouldn't even need a paternity test.
"And what is your dream?" Kakashi questioned, again not actually concerned about their weird answers.
"Oh. My dream is to become the greatest assassin ever, basically," Naruto informed them. Sasuke looked vaguely impressed, but concealed it well.
"Ambitious," Kakashi commented. "Anyway, my name's Kakashi Hatake. Though I'd love to say it's great to meet all of you guys, it's not. I fail almost all of my groups."
"That's not fair!" Sakura whined, confronted with not getting her way for the first time ever. But Naruto has had his fair share of not getting his way, so he held his head high and looked his sensei in the eyes with determination.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to change that."
Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. "I guess so."