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“Oh for…! Why won’t it just go ?!” Dan grunts, before unfolding backwards out of the rear seat of the car, still steadying the carseat carefully on top of, (but not yet properly attached to) its base.
“Hang on a sec, let me…” Phil says, going round to the other side of the car, but he’s interrupted before he can finish his sentence, let alone open the door to help.
“It just won’t connect Phil. We’ve done this so many times and it was fine, but the first time we actually need to do it for real, it won’t work and we’re supposed to be taking her home and-”
“Whoa-hey. Dan. Stop.” he cuts off the tirade before Dan really gets going, continuing in a much gentler tone; “We’ve all had a long couple of days, we can do this, we’ll get her in and go home and relax for a bit. No rush though, she’s been fed and she’s still asleep, look.” With that, he opens the door, and ducks down onto the back seat, he can’t help the smile that threatens to split his face in two as he looks down into the carseat. He can hear Dan sigh resignedly, and he can picture him frowning next to the car so clearly he can almost see it through the roof, so, keeping his voice pitched low, he calls Dan, gesturing at their baby, her blanket tucked round her snugly, fast asleep and completely unaware of her fathers’ crisis in confidence. Not for the first time.
“Dan. Will you get in here and look at how perfect she-”
“Phil, I know. She’s beautiful, but we need to take her back inside if we can’t take her home, it’s cold out and I-” Safe in the knowledge that Dan’s still stood next to the car, unable to see him, Phil rolls his eyes fondly, if more than a little exasperatedly. This isn’t the first time Dan has thrown a fit over something minor in the past day and a half, though to tell the truth, they’d been occuring fairly frequently ever since they’d been sent a picture of a positive test, and while Phil has always been adept at talking Dan down, soothing him fairly quickly, he’s tired, and he just wants to get their brand-new little family home, hopefully so they can all get some much-needed sleep.
“Dan. Stop. Give me a hand, it’s lined up, it just needs pushing down, look - will you get in here and help, please ?! ” He smiles in relief when Dan’s face comes into view, even if they end up just staring at each other blankly for a minute, until Phil gestures down, smiling at the tiny head covered in dark, chocolate-coloured hair. “Right, let’s get her secured and get home, hmm?”
Dan seizes his side of the seat and half-heartedly presses it down onto the base before quickly giving up and letting go again. “See?!” he whispers, dejectedly. “It won’t-”
“Not if you don’t push it in, it won’t.” Phil whispers back, before he stops and thinks about what he’s just said, unable to stop the grin creeping onto his face. “Heh. That’s-”
“I swear to god Philip Lester, if you say what I think you’re about to say in front of our newborn baby I will leave you and take her with me.” Despite the scandalised expression on his face, Phil finally sees the hint of a grin on Dan’s face, even if he’s trying to hide it, that and the chuckle in his voice as he finishes what Phil knows full-well is an empty threat.
“Pfft. As if. It’s true though, remember, you need to properly push it down hard for it to lock-” He trails off as he notices Dan pursing his lips.
“But… what if it wakes her up, or she bangs her head or her-” Ah. That’s the problem. He thinks for a moment, before pressing on.
“If she stirs - if !” he bulldozes over Dan’s attempt to interrupt, “then she’ll go back to sleep again. Like Mum said, even if she’s asleep, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do and-”
*THUNK*
They both freeze, Phil still with his mouth open as the seat locks into its base.
The baby doesn’t stir, doesn’t wake, doesn’t so much as murmur as her fathers slowly relax and each take in a deep breath before smiling at each other in relief.
“...come on then Daddy ” he finishes, “let’s go home.”
* * * * *
“Phil, QUICK! I need some- oh god, it’s- there’s.. PHIL!!”
He doesn’t hear all of Dan’s panicked shout as it rings through their home, but he doesn’t need to hear the words, the tone is more than enough to get him running towards the source of the noise.
When he finds his family, he can’t help but burst out laughing at what he sees.
“That’s not helping, you absolute-” Dan spits, glaring from where he’s kneeling on the floor above their daughter, both of them covered in far too much-
“ Phil . For fucks’ sake stop laughing and get me some- just… anything! A towel. Go. NOW !”
Still giggling at his husbands’ predicament, Phil fetches a couple of towels as he’s been asked, before tossing them towards Dan and the baby from what he considers to be a safe distance.
“What happened?” He asks, all-too-innocently, before snorting when Dan responds with another incredulous look.
“What do you think happened?! I was changing her, I’d just got the nappy off her and was wiping her down, and she went again and it’s just everywhere - look..!”
He gestures down at their daughter, cooing happily, seemingly unaware or uncaring about the mess all over and around her, whilst her fathers stare at each other, one determinedly keeping his distance.
“Can you come here and give me a ha- Oh, you’re such a git, STOP LAUGHING !!” he cries, frustrated, before looking up at his husband once more and bursting out laughing, which is abruptly cut short when the baby he’s holding spits up milk then begins to wail as loudly as her tiny lungs can manage.
“Fuck it.” He sighs, wrapping her loosely in one of the towels and holding her carefully away from his body. “Bathtime!” he sing-songs, a note of desperation in his voice as he stands, heading past Phil for the doorway, and presumably to the bathroom. “Time for everyone to get all clean again!”
“Umm, Dan..?” Phil calls after him. ”It’s… dripping… ”
There’s a pause before he hears a response, cut off by the sound of the bathroom door closing none too gently.
“That’s for you to clean up then.”
He swears, before going to find the mop and floor cleaner.
* * * * *
He wakes with a start, to the sound of a high-pitched wail that’s become all-too familiar. Before he can move, he feels a hand gently pressing down on his shoulder, and Phil’s voice whispering.
“It’s ok love, I’ll get her. Go back asleep.” In response, he hums, and smiles, even as he scrunches his eyes against the bedside lamp, before he feels Phil carefully fold back the duvet and get out of bed.
He relaxes and listens as Phil starts talking to their daughter even before he reaches the crib across the room, smiling at the shushing and the pet names they’ve both been testing out since she was born he can hear being murmured through the crying.
He thought it would take longer to get used to the process of waking, stumbling over to the crib, then a quick check to see which end needs attention (he smiles at the wording he’d picked up from his own mother) and either changing a nappy, feeding the baby or both, before putting her back in the crib once she was soothed and collapsing back into the bed, but only three nights in, it has become a routine.
One he’s loving. Even if he… they are both exhausted .
The fond smile on his face, still pressed into the pillow beneath him falters slightly as he realizes that the baby is still crying, and Phil’s voice sounds… stressed. Quiet, and with the tone of voice he’s only ever heard Phil use with their daughter, but threaded through it… stressed.
He raises his head, and looks over towards the crib to find Phil, statue-still and tense, with their daughter clutched to his chest, bawling.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, sitting up and making to get out of bed, worried by the scared-looking expression he can see on Phil’s face, even in the dim light.
“I- Dan, I haven’t, I don’t-” Phil starts, still not moving, even as Dan moves towards them, reaching for the baby instinctively.
The transfer won’t go down as one of their smoothest, as Phil is still rigid until Dan has the baby tucked against his shoulder, but once he does, he seems to collapse down into himself like a puppet with cut strings, as he slinks over to the bed and sinks down, eyes on the carpet.
Dan, torn between caring for both members of his family, startles slightly when their daughter lets loose another, louder, wail, and making a snap decision, he leaves Phil in the bedroom as he hurries to the kitchen and quickly prepares a bottle, before heading back to Phil, still sat on the bed, still, apparently, intently studying either his toes or the carpet they’re curling into. He doesn’t look up, or at Dan when he sits down next to him on the bed, instead hiding his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes as he exhales loudly.
“Headache? Do you need me to..?” Dan asks, before lapsing into silence when Phil looks up, shakes his head before hiding his face in his hands once more. Losing what little patience he has at whatever ungodly hour of the morning this is, Dan none-too-gently knocks his knee against Phil’s, raising his eyebrows expectantly when Phil finally, if unwillingly makes eye contact.
“...stupid” he mumbles, and sighs, a bit too exasperatedly for Dan’s liking, when his expression doesn’t change.
“I just-” he starts, wringing his hands together, before looking at their daughter on Dan’s shoulder and smiling softly. “I picked her up, and she so tiny and then, I realised I didn’t have my glasses on, and it was dark and I couldn’t see properly, couldn’t see , and what if- What if I …”
He trails off dejectedly, looking at Dan sadly, obviously unable or unwilling to finish that thought, as if Dan hasn’t had the same fears and worries, sleepless nights kicking in well before they brought their baby home.
“ Philllll ” he whispers back, smiling softly. “Here, just-” before trailing off with a groan as he realises suddenly he can’t reach the bedside table without standing, or jostling the baby - something they’ve learnt the hard way to avoid after a feed.
Before Phil catches up to what’s happening, he finds himself suddenly with an armful of baby and blanket, before Dan turn away from them suddenly, reaching over towards the bedside table, before turning back, and hooking his glasses behind his ears and over his nose carefully, straightening them gently when he notices they’re not quite straight.
“Better?” he asks, smiling when Phil nods, not looking at him in favour of their daughter, now snuggled against his shoulder. Whilst he has his hands free, Dan quickly grabs his phone, and opens Amazon and quickly placing an order for some plug in nightlights, before waving his phone in front of Phil almost-proudly.
“There we go. Be here later, ready for tomorrow night. Now go put her down, I want some cuddles too.” He scoots up the bed, tucks his legs up and under the duvet as rearranges the pillows comfortably behind him, watching as Phil lays the baby back down in the crib and makes his way back to the bed, giggling quietly when he half-trips, half launches himself at him and lands, starfished over the entirety of the bed.
“Oof, get off, you lump. That was uncalled-for!” he complains, trying to kick his way out from under Phil. “Something else you’ll have to remember as well as your glasses is to put. Your. Clothes. In. The. Laundry. Basket. At. Night.” before stifling his laugh with his hand as Phil glares, affronted.
“Uncalled for too” he sniffs, before grinning, pulling Dan with him as he lies down on the mattress for some more, much-needed sleep.