Chapter Text
“You always need candy, Reiner, and I’m saying no.” Karina said, frowning while Reiner tugged at her pant leg. The cashier offered her a sympathetic smile as he started ringing up the groceries she put on the conveyor, Karina putting more on whenever space was freed up. Every now and again Reiner would toss another sweet onto the conveyor, but Karina would pluck it off immediately.
“But mommy, I need to get the ring pop! I promise I’ll put up something else, pleeaaassseeee!” Karina rubbed at her temples, her closing her eyes while her son whined. He had been frustrating the whole trip to the grocery store. He needed pudding, he needed the sugary cereal, and he needed fifteen different kinds of chocolate. They didn't need bread, milk, eggs, or meat to cook with.
“What on earth do you need a ring pop for, Reiner?” Karina looked down at her son, Reiner making puppy-dog eyes at her. Maybe that would've worked before, but Reiner had done it so many times Karina was used to his attempts at manipulation.
“I’m getting married and I need a ring.” Confusion was evident on her features, and the cashier stopped the ringing for a moment to glance down at the boy.
“…What?” Usually when he needed something, Reiner just said ‘because’ and felt that a sufficient answer. For a kid, it probably was. “Reiner, what do you think getting married is?”
“Two people who like each other a whole lot promise to stay together forever and ever.”
“And you think you’re getting married?” Karina asked skeptically. Reiner almost looked offended that she didn’t believe him.
“I’m getting married and everyone knows you gotta have a ring!” Karina shook her head and, with a defeated sigh, ran a hand through her hair. She didn’t even feel like asking. She needed to get home so she could cook dinner for him. Karina reached down and plucked the ring pop out of Reiner’s hand, then put it on the counter. The cashier rang it up, Karina taking it and handing it back to Reiner. She was surprised when Reiner didn’t open it immediately.
“I got the ring, did you get yours?” Reiner asked over the phone, playing with the cord. He sat in the chair by the wall, kicking his feet back and forth. He had asked his mom to call Bertholdt’s dad so they could talk on the phone. Both parents gave the phones to their kids and went about their business.
“Yeah, I asked my dad if I could get it when he took me to the store yesterday.” Bertholdt breathed in the smell of spaghetti sauce cooking. His phone was in the kitchen where his dad was cooking at the moment. Bertholdt felt his tummy growl while Reiner was talking to him, and he kept glancing over to watch his father cook.
“Okay, so tomorrow at your house Pieck will be there to marry us, right?” Reiner hopped down from the chair, the phone’s cord stretching as he paced back and forth while he talked.
“Yeah, she said she’d do it.” Bertholdt started to say more, but Reiner heard Bertholdt’s father say it was dinner time on the other end of the line. “I’ll see you tomorrow, bye!”
Reiner hung up the phone, him going spend time with his mother while he anxiously awaited for tomorrow to come.
Bertholdt seemed way more wound up than usual, Reiner thought when his mom dropped him off at Bertholdt’s house. “What’s wrong, Bertl?” Bertholdt shook his head at Reiner’s question, the boy looking like he was going to panic.
“Pieck couldn’t come today because she got sick.” Reiner’s expression dropped. “And Miss Nanaba doesn’t care enough to marry us, she’s been talking on the phone with someone since she came to babysit me!” Miss Nanaba always did that! Just talked on the phone instead of playing with him!
“So we can’t get married?” Reiner asked, his voice holding a bit of sadness in it. Bertholdt shook his head and looked at the ground.
“Not unless we marry ourselves, and you can’t do that!” Bertholdt rambled, Reiner stopping and thinking about it in the meantime.
“Why not? Can we marry ourselves?” Bertholdt stopped and looked at his friend in confusion. He cocked his head to the side while he thought about what Reiner had said.
“But the people on TV always have a third person that stands in the middle and marries them.” Like every movie and TV show ever did it that way!
“They just say a bunch of stuff, so if we say some stuff it’ll be okay I think.” Reiner explained, Bertholdt nodding and calming down somewhat.
“Okay… I got my prince costume from Halloween in my room, did you bring your wedding clothes?” Reiner nodded and pulled out a white button-up shirt.
“I asked my mom what people wore at weddings and she said church clothes, so I brought my clothes she makes me wear when she takes me to church.” Reiner started to undress himself, him sliding on the nice shirt and khaki pants. He put on his belt and noticed Bertholdt wasn't getting into his prince costume.
“Church clothes? My dad just said nice clothes…” Bertholdt fretted. Reiner put a hand on Bertholdt’s shoulder.
“Well princes dress nice, and you wear nice clothes to church, so we can get married if you’re a prince. Prince clothes are nicer than church clothes anyways.”
Bertholdt smiled and started undressing to put on his costume. “Good point."
Reiner had put on his church clothes, feeling underdressed when Bertholdt was standing there with a prince outfit and a crown! They stood across from each other under the tree in the backyard, holding each other’s hands. He looked with the ring pop on his hand, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Bertholdt did the same, blushing while he looked at the ground.
“So you promise to be my buddy forever and ever and ever?” Reiner asked, a blush creeping onto his face.
“I do,” Bertholdt swallowed. “Do you promise to be my friend even when we get in trouble and stuff?” Reiner nodded.
“I do,” They fidgeted awkwardly for minute before Reiner pulled his away, pulling the ring pop he had bought off of his finger. “Then I now pronounce you my husband.” Reiner said, putting the ring on Bertholdt’s hand.
“And I pronounce you my husband.” Bertholdt said, putting the ring pop he had gotten on Reiner’s hand. Reiner started sucking on it, smiling at him. “I know you like the apple ones.”
“I got you a blue one!” Reiner said, Bertholdt starting to suck on his own ring pop. His face started to feel warm. “I think we’re supposed to kiss now...”
“O-oh, yeah…” Bertholdt looked at Reiner, both of them puckering their lips and leaning forward. They pressed their lips together, both of them immediately pulling away and wiping at their faces.
“Eww!” They both complained. Both of them started sucking their ring pops to get the other’s lips off their own. Bertholdt smiled at Reiner. “At least you don’t have cooties.”
“Do you have the camera?” Reiner asked.
“Yeah, let’s go ask Miss Nanaba to take some pictures of our wedding,” Bertholdt grabbed the disposable camera from the plastic chair where he had put it, the two of them going to the kitchen.
Nanaba was still chatting on the phone when the two of them approached her. “Miss Nanaba?” She looked down at them, confusion written all over her face when she saw Bertholdt in a prince costume and Reiner way overdressed to just be playing around. “Will you take pictures of our wedding?”
“What?” She asked, turning around for a moment. “…I gotta call you back.” Nanaba hung up the phone, taking the camera while Reiner and Bertholdt explained that they had gotten married.
“I now pronounce you husbands at last, you may now kiss.” There was a roar of clapping and cheering as Bertholdt leaned forward and pressed his lips to Reiner’s, Reiner’s hands moving to hold his arms. Reiner’s face was still dusted with that adorable shade of pink that darkened with every word of Bertholdt’s vows.
The two of them linked their arms together, waving at their friends and families while they walked back down the aisle out of the cathedral and to the limo that would take them to the reception venue. Both of them got some rice caught in their hair as their friends and family tossed it, Bertholdt slipping into the car first.
“Hey, Reiner! Think fast!” Reiner looked up and saw his best man, Porco, holding a ball of rice in his hand. He panicked and slammed the door shut as Porco chucked it, the ball exploding on the side of the limo. Through the window both of them could see Marcel run up behind his brother, failing to reach him in time to stop him. Porco was belly laughing, along with Reiner’s cousin Gabi and her friend Falco.
“Christ…” Reiner mumbled, Bertholdt chuckling beside him.
“He’s a jackass… but he’s our jackass.” Reiner leaned over and nuzzled into Bertholdt’s shoulder, Bertholdt wrapping his arms around his new husband and pulling him close. Reiner looked up at him, Bertholdt kissing him again.
“We’re married, Bertl.” Reiner ran his thumb over his wedding ring and sighed. Bertholdt kissed the top of Reiner’s head and nuzzled him.
“I don’t know why you’re acting like we just got married.” Reiner looked up at Bertholdt with confusion on his face. “We’ve been married for almost twenty years.” Bertholdt gave Reiner a mischievous smile, but Reiner only playfully smacked his arm in response.
“Oh, hush!” Reiner said, his face red at the memory of when they got ‘married’ as kids.
“Why? You were so cute in your church clothes, those pictures my old babysitter took are so precious.” Karina had taken one of the pictures and hung it up in her home, and it had actually made its way into the wedding gifts.
“Says the one who dressed up like a prince.” Reiner teased, kissing Bertholdt’s cheek.
“You’re kissing me a lot more now than you did the first time we got married.” Bertholdt laughed, Reiner resting his forehead against his husband’s.
“Of course I am. It’s not like you have cooties anymore like you did back then.” Reiner thought back hard to the day they married themselves. They had wiped their mouths off right after they kissed.
“How do you know?” Bertholdt said slyly, Reiner watching his eyes intensely. “Maybe I’m going to give you cooties tonight.”
“Oh, cooties? Is that what they call it now?” Reiner leaned forward and rubbed his nose against Bertholdt’s affectionately.
Bertholdt couldn’t even respond, falling into a fit of giggles with Reiner joining him.