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It was cold. The beginning of winter had left Ghost City almost freezing. Of course, Paradise Manor was heated, soft fires glowing in every room to make it comfortable for the god frequently visiting, but Yin Yu still felt the cold creeping in from outside, chilling him to the bone.
He knew very well that the cause for this might have nothing to do with the snowstorm raging outside. His soul wasn’t the same anymore after what had happened. His close encounter with death might have changed him in ways no one could fully predict yet. Hua Cheng had explained all of that to him, something like sympathy in his visible eyes.
The compassion made Yin Yu uncomfortable. He liked working for Hua Cheng exactly because it never had mattered who he was and where he came from, he didn’t want that to change.
With a sigh, he pushed open one of the many doors in Paradise Manor. Recently, he had moved his bedroom to this quiet corner, as far away from Hua Cheng’s bedchambers as possible. It wasn’t personal. Right now, he just couldn’t stomach the way Hua Cheng and his crown prince flitted around each other, so clearly and ridiculously in love. It made him sick with something bitter and ugly, envy poisoning his thoughts.
It was telling how distracted he was, that he didn’t notice the intruder until the door was already closed behind him.
Quan Yizhen looked out of place in this small, bare room. He was perched on Yin Yu’s bed, his eyes bright with excitement. “Shixiong,” he greeted and Yin Yu almost turned around to run.
It was almost an instinctive reaction at this point. But, he couldn’t. From what he heard, he owed Quan Yizhen his life and even he couldn’t outrun that. The feeling of guilt sat heavy in his stomach. After everything he did, Quan Yizhen still looked at him with those adoring eyes, waiting for him to praise him.
“Yizhen,” he greeted the younger god. “What brings you here?” If there was resignation in his voice, Quan Yizhen didn’t pick up on it. He never did. At being acknowledged, his whole face lit up with a smile and Yin Yu was painfully reminded how handsome his shidi was. So much better than Yin Yu everywhere it mattered.
“I came to check up on shixiong,” he explained, getting up from the bed to walk up to Yin Yu. “I’ve heard people say that you are ill.” Worry dimmed his radiant smile for a moment. “Is that true?”
He was so painfully earnest that Yin Yu couldn’t bear to look at him any longer. So, he turned his head, stepping past Quan Yizhen to have an excuse not to face him anymore. “You don’t need to worry, Yizhen,” he lied, his voice even with practice. He might have gotten away with it if Quan Yizhen hadn’t reached out, grasping his icy wrist.
The touch flooded him with sudden warmth, Quan Yizhen’s skin almost burning against his own.
“You’re so cold,” Quan Yizhen said, confusion evident in his voice. Then, he put his other hand on Yin Yu’s skin as well, touching his cheek with clumsy care.
The warmth felt so good, that Yin Yu leaned into it without a second thought until Quan Yizhen’s quiet, awestruck noise brought him back to reality.
He stepped back as if Quan Yizhen’s touch burnt him. Judging by the lingering heat on his skin, it might have. “It’s nothing,” he said, knowing it wouldn’t change anything. He already knew the look of determination far too well.
“You’re too cold,” Quan Yizhen stated again, looking around until he spotted the lit fireplace. His face pulled into a frown, another expression Yin Yu was far too familiar with. Something hysteric like laughter bubbled in his chest, but he swallowed it down. There was nothing here that Quan Yizhen could beat into submission, no problem he could solve with sheer strength and judging by his frustrated expression, Quan Yizhen had arrived at the same conclusion.
His determined gaze settled on Yin Yu again, and suddenly he didn’t feel like laughing anymore. “It’s getting late,” he said, vaguely pointed to the dark sky visible from his window. “You should leave.” He didn’t want to bear Quan Yizhen’s presence any longer. This had already gone over far better than any of their interactions in the past. Yin Yu wanted to leave it at that.
Vaguely, he was aware that his skin still faintly prickled with warmth, where Quan Yizhen had touched him.
“Shixiong will be too cold to sleep,” Quan Yizhen protested, his lips pressed into a stubborn line. He was right, of course, but Yin Yu didn’t want to tell him that. He considered his next words carefully.
Then, Quan Yizhen abruptly turned around going back to the bed. On the way there, he stripped off the heavy layers of his clothes until only his inner robes remained. Yin Yu was left to stare dumbfounded at Quan Yizhen’s broad back.
“What are you doing?” he asked, even as Quan Yizhen slid under the covers, scooting over until he was plastered against the wall, evidently trying to leave as much room as possible on the small bed.
“I will keep you warm.” Quan Yizhen presented his solution with obvious pride in his voice, slightly petting the empty room next to his body.
Yin Yu opened his mouth, trying to think of a way to refuse Quan Yizhen’s offer. It was ridiculous. Two grown men were far too big to fit onto a bed that small. It was inappropriate to essentially cuddle together. He didn’t want to owe Quan Yizhen any more than he already did.
But despite all those thoughts running through his head, Yin Yu was painfully aware how much he longed for the contact, how much he craved the warmth of Quan Yizhen’s body and how much he missed –
In the end, he gave in. It would be too much effort to throw Quan Yizhen out, especially, when he was stubborn like that. He let out a quiet, resigned sigh.
Yin Yu was well aware that he was lying to himself.
He approached the bed, taking off his outer robes as well, carefully setting them down on a nearby chair before he joined Quan Yizhen on the bed. As soon as he laid down, Quan Yizhen wrapped his arms around him, effectively caging him against his body.
For once, Yin Yu couldn’t find it in himself to complain. Quan Yizhen was just as warm as he expected, his body heat bleeding through the thin robes. After freezing for days, it felt heavenly.
To save what little was left of his pride, Yin Yu kept himself from snuggling closer, basking in the comfortable glow.
He hadn’t even realized he had closed his eyes when Quan Yizhen spoke again. “Shixiong,” he began, his voice deeper with something Yin Yu had never heard before. Sluggishly, he blinked his eyes open again, shrinking back in surprise when Quan Yizhen’s face was just above his own, his bright eyes softer than he remembered. “I think you need some spiritual energy to warm you up,” he murmured. “Can I, shixiong?”
That idea hadn’t even occurred to Yin Yu in the first place. But, for once, he had to admit Quan Yizhen had a point. Maybe that was the reason his body was so out of control. So, he nodded, expecting the soft pulse of energy to stream from Quan Yizhen’s hands, where they touched him.
Instead, Quan Yizhen smiled, thrilled and almost sly. Before Yin Yu could think about it, a pair of soft lips met his own and he forgot how to think altogether. Quan Yizhen’s lips were full, a little dry and so, so careful in their movement against his own. Spiritual energy seeped into him, but Yin Yu hardly paid it any attention. His lips moving against Quan Yizhen’s guiding him with a familiarity that came easier than he expected.
When he finally broke away, gasping for air, Quan Yizhen stared at him with wonder in his eyes. His lips were red from their shared kiss.
“Who taught you that?” Yin Yu asked because talking was easier than thinking, easier than admitting how right it had felt. He wasn’t quite ready to face the truth, but he could hardly ignore the realization that had slammed into him like a heavy blow.
“I don’t remember,” Quan Yizhen replied, easy and carefree. His gaze still focused on Yin Yu’s mouth. “Does shixiong feel better?”
For a moment, Yin Yu stayed quiet. The truth was, he did. The awful cold from before only seemed like a bad memory now, but he was hesitant to let Quan Yizhen know, well aware of the consequences it would bring.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” he said instead, putting as much authority in his voice as he could. Predictably, Quan Yizhen only nodded, going along with his orders like he always had. He settled back on the bed, pulling Yin Yu against him.
“I’m going to keep shixiong warm from now on,” he promised softly, his eyes already closing. Yin Yu studied his relaxed face for a moment, before he let out a sigh again, more fond than exasperated.
“Good Night, Yizhen,” he murmured, before closing his eyes as well.
That night, he slept better than he had in years.