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The tingling of an Appearance had Aziraphale frown and close his book. Crowley never appeared in the bookshop. It wasn’t polite. He usually used the door, even in an emergency.
But still, it was the familiar figure of his demonic friend blinking in surprise in front of him, trying to understand where he was. Difficult not to recognise Crowley when you were staring right at his bare eyes. Well… his bare everything, actually. Aziraphale’s frown disappeared to give way to a polite but questioning glance.
“Hello, Dear Boy.”
Crowley’s eyes shot to the angel and his tensed body relaxed, taking his usual, casual slouch. Aziraphale had to admire his fast reaction.
“Oh, hi, angel. How’s life ?”
Had he had any pockets, he would have tucked his hands in them and lean back on the wall like nothing untoward was up, thought Aziraphale fondly. Well… two could play this game. He still had one minute and forty five seconds.
“I assume you did not intend to appear in my bookshop in such a state of undress, Crowley ?”
The demon grinned.
‘Not really, no. Disappointed ?”
Aziraphale folded his glasses and put them calmly on his desk, near his book.
“Tremendously. I supposed you were There, breaking someone’s heart again ?”
“Aw, angel, don’t be such a spoilsport. It’s fun !”
The white haired entity rose and approached the naked demon who was still standing with as much poise as if he was in perfect attire to meet the Queen. One minute and thirty seconds, thought the angel.
“Breaking children’s dreams is never fun, my dear.”
“I don’t break kid’s dreams. Only adults ones. Kids love me ! And I was having a great time at it when some stupid human started summoning me... You sure you wanna do this, Aziraphale ?”
“You ask that every time. Come on, give me your hand.”
The demon pouted, but held his hand out. Aziraphale took it.
“I don’t like that.”
“I know, my dear. But there is no reason for concern. It is much safer this way.”
The angel and the demon started to morph, turning slowly into each other. Aziraphale looked at his new corporation, tutted, and snapped his fingers to clad it in Crowley’s usual black clothes..
“Do not undress my corporation, please. My customers would not appreciate.”
“Angel, nobody on earth wants to undress your corporation.”
Aziraphale pouted “This human body has some success. You would be surprised.”
“Honestly I don’t think I would. Humans are not attracted to your corporation though. It’s your shiny, angelic personality they see. Makes them feel good and loved, and they want to own it, like the freaks they are.”
“Oh, thank you very much” grumbled Aziraphale.
“It’s a very cute corporation, angel. I am sure I could tempt a lot of people with it. Is that what you want to hear ?”
“Of course not !” protested a very happy angel.
“You’re so weird, angel. OK, how does it feel now ?”
Aziraphale grimaced. His stomach was starting to swirl. Crowley looked at him in concern.
“I think… I think it is starting.”
“Be careful, angel. Humans are sick. Specially these ones.”
“Stop fretting, dear, everything will be just fi-”
The demon stared into the void that had contained his friend only seconds ago. Aziraphale’s mouth uttered a word his usual owner didn’t even know.
Aziraphale closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get rid of the spinning of his head. Unsolicited teleportation was very confusing to the senses. He inhaled slowly and opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings and sighing in disappointment.
A basement. How creative.
He looked at the floor, ignoring the voices muttering around him. Crowley’s mouth set in a very stern line. This was the best sigils he had seen in at least eight hundreds years.
Crowley’s name glowed amongst the binding scripture carefully drawn around the summoning circle. This was great work, very impressive. To master that level of ancient writings… That balance between binding and protective runes… someone clever and very well read had done this.
Aziraphale straightened his back and turned to look at the humans that were gaping at him. Hoods. The yellow eyes suddenly seemed to shine.
The angel didn’t like hoods. They had rarely been good news for humanity since its beginning. He snapped his fingers, careful to barely move his wrist. No need to show he was pulling Grace down, not up. The hoods disappeared. Humans looked at him with surprise and fear.
Yes, fear me. I am not in a good mood.
“You can’t do that ! I took your powers away !” yelled a voice.
Aziraphale turned slowly to face the tall, young man in a neat suit. Powerful man. Rich, smart, very bright. Knows it. The angel did appreciate intelligence coupled with a good heart. In that man, it only made him sick. The human was clutching the Book in his hands.
“No, you didn’t” purred the angel with Crowley’s voice. “Only Hell can take a demon’s powers, and believe me they tried… but you could have restrained them, with that little sigil over here, supposed to seal them inside of me… you realise it would have been excruciating for me, don’t you ?” he squinted his eyes with contempt as he read the man’s heart and thoughts. “Yes, you knew… you wanted me to suffer… you wanted to control me.”
the man was braver (or stupider) than Aziraphale would have thought.
“You have to obey me ! You are trapped in that circle, demon ! Kneel before me and swear your allegiance !”
The angel rolled his eyes, wondering if God was watching this. Knowing Her, she was probably enjoying the show. He couldn’t blame Her.
“Do you really believe demons are the kind of creatures that will kneel before a mere human ? Did you ever read the bible, you stupid man ?”
The “stupid man” offered a cruel smile. Aziraphale felt a new wave of disgust. Some humans were harder to care about than the others. He loved every humans of course. Tried his best to understand each and every one of them. But he always had a hard time understanding deliberate cruelty. It was very difficult sometimes to feel compassionate.
“Oh, but I know how to tame you, my gold-eyed demon...”
He pulled something out of his pocket. It was a vial. Inside, a very transparent liquid shone.
Aziraphale stared at it for longs seconds. The man’s smile widened. He opened his mouth to say something clever.
The yellow eyes stopped looking at the shiny vial to meet his.
“This is Holy Water.”
He hadn’t talked very loud, but every human in the room took a step back under the wave of wrath that filled the room. They were all looking at the demon they just summoned, wondering if they didn’t have made a mistake (and beginning to realise they had).
“You forced me to appear in a binding circle that was supposed to imprison me and seal my powers, you wanted me to suffer enough to be ready to swear allegiance to you , and you brought Holy Water. Is that all ? Or is there something else to add to your sins, human ?”
The others were all starting to slowly aim for the door. Aziraphale let them go. He didn’t care about any of them. They didn’t read the book. They didn’t draw the sigils. None of them could summon Crowley, only this one.
He walked towards the young man, not paying the slightest attention to the circle as he crossed it. The human gasped. Finally. Self-preservation was not very strong with this one.
“Give me that book, you idiot !”
a splash of water silenced him.
“Die, you foul demon !”
Crowley was pacing the bookshop like a caged animal. That made fifteen minutes. Aziraphale never stayed that long. He always came back as fast as possible.
“I knew it !” mumbled the demon, running his hand through Aziraphale’s hair with frantic movements. “I knew it was too dangerous ! Should never have let him...”
“I am here, stop freaking out.”
Crowley whirled on himself, stumbled under the difference in height and weight and smiled in relief.
“Angel, what happened ?”
Something definitely happened. Aziraphale was cross. Difficult to say how much, when he inhabited another body, but crossed, that much was obvious.
“Nothing. I have the book. I think it may be the last of them.”
“Oh. Oh, that’s… good news.”
“It is. No copy has been made, I checked.”
Crowley took the book and Felt it. Yep, angel was right. No picture, no scan, nothing ever copied it. The last of the eleven books that had escaped Aziraphale when some clever human decided to write “The invocation of Demons and the use of bounding Deals”. With names on it. Lots of demonic names, correctly spelled. Including Crowley’s.
“So it’s over… no more summoning ?”
Aziraphale sighed and nodded.
“I think so. I will let the Calling ward here, just in case. I like to have it up. It is reassuring.”
It was. Crowley wouldn’t say it out loud, but it was very reassuring to know every summon would be rerouted to the bookshop for the first two minutes. More than enough time to change bodies. They used the trick seven times in the last hundreds years. Well… eight, if you counted their trials.
“What did they do to you ? How many were there ?”
“Oh… a dozen maybe. But only one was really dangerous. He had Holy Water.”
Crowley froze. H.W was a taboo subject. The words only were enough to get Aziraphale in a bad mood.
“Oh… what… what did he do ?”
“He threw it at me !” erupted the angel.
Oh, Damn ! Stupid human !
“Okay… okay, right. Hm… what did you do, then, angel ?”
“I drew a summoning circle.”
“You what ?”
“I drew a summoning circle. He wanted a demon, after all. I started the summoning and broke the circle a little before coming back. It worked, I felt it. And he already used all his Holy Water. I guess it is karma.
And I guess you called Hastur, thought Crowley. Well, at least the Duke of Hell was having some fun.
“Do you want to go back to the zoo, my dear ? “
Crowley shook his head. Suddenly, turning into a big snake and making kids believe they spoke parseltongue was not that funny anymore. Plus, being a big talking serpent one second and a very disoriented and naked demon the other was not something you wanted to do on regular basis. He would wait a day or two before going back to the zoo. (But he would come back. The words “Mum ! I speak to snakes ! Where is my letter to Hogwarts ? Did you burn it ? Can I have a owl ? Mum ! Can I have a owl ?” were like music to his ears.)
“Nah. Why don’t we celebrate ? Dinner ? My treat.”
Aziraphale beamed.
“That sounds delightful. But first, Crowley...”
“Yup, what ?”
“Could you give me my corporation back ?”
“Oh. Yeah, I forgot I was wearing it.”
Aziraphale sent the demon a very amused (yellow) look.
“Alright, alright ! But this is such a comfortable corporation… I want to keep it…” whined Crowley.
“Well of course it is, why do you think I chose it ? Why did you take this one anyway ? I like it, do not think I don’t, and it fits you perfectly, but it is so… sharp.”
“Sharp is good. Don’t be mean to my body, angel. I look cool in it.”
They shook hands to change back and Aziraphale smiled fondly, which put a very strange expression on Crowley’s usual face.
“My dear. You would look cool even wearing a potato sack.”
“Shut up, angel.”
But the demon was smiling too.