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Dice is on auto-pilot leaving the lights and noise of the casino only to let the very same chaos of an alive Shibuya engulf him as he wanders the late-night streets. He tries to use the time it takes to get back to wind down from the events of the day, well, not that the day was all that eventful, but tonight is different. Tonight the air is tinged with yearning, one that Dice is desperate to fulfil. He simply wants to be home.
As he steps in from the night air, all the energy that had been sustaining him suddenly drains entirely, the only thing on his mind is getting into bed with Gentaro and going to goddamn sleep.
Into their bedroom, pants already unbuckled and shirt slung around his neck in snood-like fashion, a warm and relieved ‘at last’ feeling washes over Dice at seeing Gentaro curled up peacefully in bed. The moonlight streaming through a gap between the curtains highlighting Gentaro’s already angelic face has Dice feel as though he is witnessing something holy. The pair have been together for months but moments like this, when Dice is alone in Gentaro’s presence, he falls into something of disbelief at how this man became his.
Too exhausted to war with whatever the overwhelming feeling inside his chest is, he shucks off the rest of his clothes and carefully slides in next to Gentaro. The effort of trying not to wake him futile as a mumble of ‘mm Dice?’ leaves the author’s lips as he rolls over to bury himself into Dice’s chest. Dice replies with a kiss to the top of Gentaro’s hair before slowly letting sleep envelop him in its arms. Dice was home, finally.
Hours later, the soft pitter-pat of rain wakes Dice from his slumber, feeling unusually well-rested for how little sleep he’s had he decides not to ruin it by trying to return.
Dice looks over at Gentaro’s still sleeping form and thinks of how lucky he is to wake up next to him, someone who fits him so perfectly. If you had said to him this was how it would play out at the very beginning, at the formation of Fling Posse, he wouldn’t believe a word of it. He guesses life is funny like that.
He reflects on the early days of their friendship, trying to suss one another out, what worked and what didn’t, then finding… that everything came naturally to the pair of them. A connection was formed almost instantaneously once the group had settled into their rhythm, but it happened so soundlessly that Dice didn’t realise until his priorities started to shift. Being apart of this team has been the biggest thrill of Dice’s life this far but his relationship with Gentaro? The biggest risk of them all.
The thing that scares Dice the most about this, what they have with one another, is losing it. Never in his life did Dice think that there was a place for him in this world, but he has one now in his team and their friendship. With Gentaro. Quite frankly, Dice never really knew this was something he had been longing for until it happened. The overwhelming sense of genuine support and love he felt, nothing could replace it. He feared that if he lost this, he’d lose everything. Gentaro meant everything to Dice. And he wishes he was good with words, able to express how much Gentaro means to him. He doesn’t feel like any amount of words would be good enough.
Gentaro, Gentaro, Gentaro. God, he wished everyone around him could see how incredible this man was and yet at the same time he wants to shelter him from prying eyes. Gentaro had endured so much and was trying his best to get by and be better, Dice held so much respect for that strength. His playful and imaginative nature, although often something Dice was at the butt of, was what made him so unique. Gentaro was weird, unlike anyone Dice had met, he supposes all three of them were in their ways but he admired it in Gentaro nonetheless. He wouldn’t have him any other way. He wished that people could see him with his walls down when he really was just Gentaro in the essence.
Every new piece of Gentaro that he discovered was something to marvel at, don’t get Dice wrong, he wasn’t a perfect person but he was perfect for Dice. Gentaro shuffles then, pulling him back into reality.
“Good morning,” Gentaro says, voice still scratchy from sleep. He blinks slowly up at Dice with the softest of smiles. Dice wants to cry.
“I love you, Gentaro” a barely audible reply.
Gentaro’s entire face passes first through surprise to what can only be described as unadulterated joy, eyes crinkling at the sides and mouth open in laughter.
Dice supposes that these words will be enough for now.