Work Text:
"So" Junmyeon starts, a sly smile on his lips. Sehun frowns in confusion, a questioning look slowly appearing in his features but never fully forming "you went out with Yeonseok again"
Sehun rolls his eyes.
"Yes. He's my friend" Sehun's eyebrow flicks upward, and even though Junmyeon doesn't exactly know what's next, he follows.
"I know that." The glass he's holding in his hand swirls in his palm. Sehun hates when it's all secluded like this. Every action seems to mean something. Junmyeon is smiling.
There are cameras in the kitchen. Of course there are, the management always watching their diet around comeback time. They should take this to Junmyeon's bedroom. Or Sehun's. Anyone's.
"He's tall." Junmyeon comments. There's small amusement to his words. For cameras, mostly. Sehun knows that, knows their manager is watching. Lee Sooman watching highlights. Sehun wonders if that's legal.
"So are most of your friends." He responds. His gaze rests on the camera above the fridge then on Junmyeon's face, followed by the door to their room. Well, Junmyeon's room. Although if the management paid attention they'd know it's really theirs.
They probably do.
Junmyeon follows quickly. Sehun's next words are ushered in the confines of his room, Junmyeon's room.
"Is there a problem, hyung?"
Junmyeon laughs, covering his mouth. Sehun knows that he thinks his laugh is ugly and Sehun desperately wants to erase that idea. It doesn't always work, he realises, when everyone tries to prove otherwise. He's partly at fault. Although he reassures Junmyeon sometimes, of how beautiful he is, some of it gets lost along the way, with the teasing.
"Of course not. Why would there be?" Junmyeon giggles. There's something in his eyes others cannot see. It's reserved only for him. "Taller than me." Junmyeon's cheeks puff, reddened. "He's older than me, too"
There's amusement there, yes, but also a grain of worry. Maybe.
"What does it matter?" He pins Junmyeon against the wall, knowing it takes him back, knowing he had to go through the hesitation and feeling unsure every time Sehun did this in the past.
Junmyeon doesn't hesitate this time, the spell not working on him anymore.
"It doesn't. It doesn't matter." He giggles. There's something wrong about it. "You like older men, don't you?" A quick flicker of his gaze to Sehun's. A quick assigning of priorities. "Looking for a sugar daddy?"
It would be funny if it wasn't painful. Junmyeon doesn't laugh. Neither does Sehun.
"You know I'm not." the younger says, eyes flickering up and down. It's something others joke about sometimes. He likes older men. He likes money.
But he also likes cheesy and awkward smiles at one o'clock in the morning.
"Of course I do. I'm already your sugar daddy." The laugh Junmyeon makes is for the management too. It's the stage one. It's the camera one.
There are cameras in the kitchen. There's no cameras in their room, even though they sometimes forget about that.
"Yeonseok hyung is my friend." Sehun repeats, ignoring the sugar daddy comment. Junmyeon isn't- There's so much more to them than sex and money and Junmyeon knows it. (Sehun thinks. Sehun hopes.)
Junmyeon shuffles in his hold.
"You seem awfully close to your friend."
"Are you one to talk?" Sehun retaliates. All the holidays. Pictures. Rumours. He's not stupid.
"I guess not" Junmyeon looks away, when all Sehun wants him to do is look forward. "But-"
"But?"
Junmyeon looks down at his feet. No shoes, no socks. Just thoughts.
"You're more known. More attractive. They're interested in you the most"
Sehun tries his hardest not to frown. He knows it makes him look angry, and he's far from that. He doesn't want Junmyeon to mistake confusion for anger.
"What does that mean?"
Junmyeon smiles again.
"Did you see the comments under your Instagram picture?"
He's changing the subject. Sehun feels frustrated but he lets him
"They're mostly in English. You know I don't really know it that well."
Junmyeon's hand ends up on Sehun's shoulder. For a second the younger thinks he's going to shove him away, but it just rests there. Junmyeon's looking at it, instead of at Sehun.
"They're saying you look like it's a date." his finger is drawing a pattern on Sehun's shirt. "Or like it's your engagement dinner."
Sehun rolls his eyes.
"You know it wasn't."
"How would I know~?" He grins again, eyes disappearing, turning moon shaped. So pretty. "I don't keep track of all your other sugar daddies."
He finally looks up and Sehun holds his gaze. It's challenging, on both sides. To say something. Anything.
Junmyeon isn't making any sense. He probably knows it, too. And Sehun... Sehun doesn't really do cheesy. He does funny, teasing, he does serious sometimes, when he's tired, like right now. But never... Never serious when it matters.
Maybe he should change it. Then again maybe Junmyeon should change, too. Start speaking his mind. Saying what he thinks.
They're both stubborn, like that.
Junmyeon is the first one to look away.
"Well, invite me to the wedding" he giggles. Sehun hates it. It's ugly, but not in the way Junmyeon thinks it is. Junmyeon's laugh is the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. This is not Junmyeon's laugh. This is not Suho's laugh either.
Junmyeon moves from the wall, reaching for the door.
Sehun stops him again.
"This isn't fair." Sehun's hand is on Junmyeon's wrist
"What isn't?"
"I know you're upset. Don't even try to deny it." Junmyeon just blinks. Expression blank.
Sehun doesn't usually do this. It's always a back and forth with them. Sehun gets grumpy when Junmyeon goes on his holidays, Junmyeon teases him about it. Junmyeon makes jokes when Sehun meets other men, usually accompanied by the other members, and Sehun rolls his eyes at them. They both now Sehun is actually upset and Junmyeon is actually hurt, but they don't talk about it.
They're both so stubborn. But they're alone now, no other members to enable their joking around.
"We kiss, hyung"
Junmyeon makes a 'duh' face. Of course they kiss. They kiss, they fuck, they sleep in the same bed. They have been for a while.
"We kiss and sleep together. So ask me what you want to ask me."
"And what do I want to ask you?" blank. Junmyeon is not good at hiding his emotions, but for some reason he does it so well right now. It's almost scary.
"I don't kiss any other men." Sehun decides to answer the question even if it wasn't asked. "I don't sleep with any other men. I only kiss you. I only sleep with you."
Junmyeon is quiet. A moment passes.
"I- I know that. We're- I know you don't." his eyes are focused on where Sehun's palm is wrapped around his wrist. Sehun slides it down to link their hands instead. "I don't either." Junmyeon adds, voice small.
And Sehun knew. But now he knows.
"You know I love you, right?" Sehun makes small circles with his thumb on Junmyeon's palm. The older smiles softly and looks up. It's finally a Junmyeon smile.
"Of course I do. I love you too, Sehunnie"
But Sehun can't smile back, not yet, not until Junmyeon knows that he doesn't mean it in the way they all love each other. Doesn't mean it in the usual way everyone says it to everyone. Yes, he loves him like that too, but they always said it. And Junmyeon says it to other people. And Sehun says it to other people.
"I don't kiss other men. I don't sleep with other men." Sehun says, and Junmyeon looks confused that Sehun is repeating himself, but Sehun must make sure Junmyeon understands. "And I don't love other men."
This is so out of Sehun's comfort zone. He teases, he plays around. He gets scolded when he makes a mess. This... This is different, but Sehun must do it
"I love my hyungs. But I don't love them like I love you." He grabs Junmyeon's other hand and puts it on his chest, right above his heart. It's beating fast, hard, no way Junmyeon won't feel it. "When I say I love you I mean- you're here. You're the only one here." It's Sehun's turn to look down. He wants to cringe, thinking he sounds like a cheesy drama. "I love you. I'm. I'm in love with you."
"Sehunnie..."
"And we are... I know we're something. And I know we both know that we- are. A thing." Two stubborn people. Two difficult, stupid men, refusing to talk about the things that matter. "So you don't have to- I don't want anyone else. Ever."
For a while only their breathing is audible. Their breathing and the thundering of Sehun's heart.
Then Junmyeon moves his hand from Sehun's chest, up, resting it on his cheek.
"My Sehunnie. So handsome when he's serious" Junmyeon's eyes are a bit glazed over, watery. He's beautiful, so beautiful. Sehun really doesn't say that enough. "My lovely Sehunnie. My Sehunnie that I love. I'm in love with you too. How could I not be?"
And Sehun knew, in the back of his head he did, but hearing it still feels like taking a breath after sitting under water for too long.
Junmyeon kisses him then, slow, patient, thorough.
And maybe they won't have a name for this - their 'thing' - ever. But maybe that's okay. Maybe as long as he gets to be Junmyeon's Sehunnie, and Junmyeon gets to be his Junmyeonnie hyung, they don't need another name. They both know, anyway.