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It was too bright. Even without opening his eyes Giles could tell that. His own bedroom never let so much light in, even at mid-day. It was a dark, safe cave, and he already missed it. Here, the morning sun stabbed through his eyelids and into his mistreated brain. Part of that brain told him he should look around just to make sure he hadn’t stumbled into danger. But the majority ruled that the very act of letting any more light in would liquefy the insides of his head and make the effort futile anyway. Besides, all he felt was warmth and softness. He had found a comfortable bed in a room that smelled fresh and clean. Far from the stuffy rooms of the old man who now ran the Council. The old man he had become.
He settled deeper into the soft warmth, wishing for nothing more than to return to sweet oblivion. In the moment before he achieved that single goal, he felt the pressure in the room change and heard the click of a door being closed. Even though the action must have been careful and slow, the sound shot through his head like a lightning bolt. He was no longer alone and had become acutely aware of the fact he had no memory of where he was or how he’d gotten there. Still, Giles couldn’t force his eyes open. If he had ended up in the clutches of any enemy, he only prayed that they would gift him with a swift and merciful death.
The next sound was a soft buzzing, then a beep, then a whispered voice, soft, familiar, sweetly feminine… “Yep.-- No, we’re good. He’s still asleep.-- It’s fine, you do what you need to over there. I’ve got him.-- Stop worrying. I think by now it’s about time we take our turn taking care of him for once. You just cover things for him on that end. Trust me, he’s in good hands here.-- Is there any more news? About, you know?-- Okay. We’ll see you soon.-- Yes, call back when you get here with the stuff.”
That voice. That soft, caring voice that too many people overlooked. Giles knew where he must be now. He was with Dawn, probably in her dorm room. And, in her bed. Wait… in Dawn’s bed!
Giles’ eyelids sprang open, letting blinding light flood into his brain, and he lurched forward. Every move a mistake, he continued forward until he was doubled over, the room spinning and his stomach trying to claw its way up his throat. He felt the bed dip beside him, making the world sway even more, and some sort of receptacle was thrust into his grasp.
“Uh-oh, here we go,” Dawn’s voice whirled in his head. “It’s all right. I’ve got you. Just do what you have to.” Her soothing fingers brushed through his hair as she cooed. “You’re safe, sweetie. Be sick if you need to.”
Given the choice, Giles would have rather opened a vein than vomit. But any choice was fiction at that moment. Whatever it was he had consumed the night before wanted out, and with a vengeance. For the next several minutes any thoughts of how he had gotten there or what he might have done were put on hold for this singular need.
When he was finished, all Giles had the strength to do was collapse back into the bed. He shook with exhaustion and shivered in a cold sweat. His eyes were again glued shut, so he only felt Dawn pull the quilt back up to his shoulders and place a cool, damp cloth over his brow and eyes.
“I’m gonna go take care of this,” she whispered near his ear. “Try to relax and I’ll be right back.” Her light hand stroked his hair once more, then he heard her leave the room.
‘Relax?’ the Watcher’s mind screamed at him. How was he supposed to do that? What had he done? What pit of depravity had drink led him to this time? Of all the unforgivable things he’d ever done… If only he could remember any of the night before. ‘No. Not Dawn. Not even in my Ripper days would I have gone so far. Would I?’
The mere thought of defiling one so sweet and dear to him made him want to retch again. Dawn had become family to him. Just as he loved his Slayer, he loved her little sister. “Oh, Buffy’s going to kill me,” he groaned aloud.
“What did you say?” Dawn asked absently as she re-entered the room. Giles lifted the cloth just enough to squint at her, but didn’t repeat his lament. “Oh, sorry,” she gave a sympathetic frown. “Here, let me close all the curtains. It’s been a while since I had a hangover patient to take care of.” After doing as promised, she fished a bottle from her desk drawer and sat down beside him on the bed. “Here, it’s just some aspirin for your head. And tell me if you need something else. After last night, who knows what you might come down with?”
Giles’ brain quickly filed that statement under things he didn’t want to think too hard about. His tight muscles protested insistently as he tried to sit up enough to swallow the offered relief. It was a move that led him to another horrifying and damning discovery, as the comforter sliding down his chest left it completely bare.
Quickly grabbing the bedclothes to cover himself, Giles stared pathetically into the girl’s innocent eyes. “Where have my clothes gone?” he gasped.
Dawn tried to stifle a chuckle at his panicked look. “They’re over there.” She gestured to the corner of the room. “By the time we maneuvered you in here, you were soaked to the bone and covered with mud. You don’t think I was gonna let you in my bed like that, do you?”
“Mud…?” he rubbed at his splitting head. His mind desperately tried to scamper away from the words ‘let you in my bed’.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The storm had just broken when Giles stumbled out of the main Council building into the compound. He gazed up into the thundering sky and wanted only to thunder back. Too far gone with drink and grief, his feet started trudging forward and he didn’t care where they might be taking him.
By the time he glanced around, he was in the training yard. Effigies of vampires stood in rows, waiting for the young slayers to practice their staking skills. Their false, smug faces taunted the Watcher as the lightning flashed over them.
“You bastards!” he growled drunkenly at the still figures. “You like to come after these innocent girls, think you might prove yourselves as a real creature of the night… Take out a slayer and make a name. Pathetic,” Giles spat, swinging wildly at the nearest dummy.
The lightning flashed again, making the false vampires appear to move in the drunken vision, and the over-zealous swing sent him headlong into another dummy. Beneath him, the saturated ground loosened its grip on the base at this impact. Giles didn’t notice.
He chuckled mirthlessly, pushing himself upright. “Do you even understand that you are nothing? You fight and kill all the slayers you want, but you can never do as much damage as the real danger! Never kill as many innocent girls as one damned old man! One stupid Watcher!” He stared up into the pouring rain, breathing hard. “How many do we have to lose?” was his choked cry.
He spun to walk on, but slipped in the muddy pit and thrust his arms out to balance against the dummy. This reflex didn’t help much as the loosened stake let go and dropped its burden on top of the sprawled man. Giles began to chuckle uncontrollably when he felt the fake, plastic teeth someone had added to this figure scrape impotently at his neck.
“Go on,” he laughed. “Take a bite. You might just save a slayer.” He lay there in the chill night, starring up into the storming sky. “Bite me!” he growled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Momentarily forgetting about his state of undress, Giles let go of the quilt and brought his fingers up to his neck. There he felt the smooth surface of some bandaging.
“Oh yeah,” Dawn smiled softly at him. “You somehow scratched yourself up a little during your adventure last night. They were nothing major to worry about. Just a couple of Band-Aids did the trick.”
“Thank you,” Giles mumbled.
“Believe me,” the young lady placed a light pat on his forearm. “I remember patching you up after some of those fights back in Sunnydale. This was easy.”
“Dawn, could you please tell me…?” He took the water and pills she handed him and downed them automatically. “I… I can’t remember how exactly I got here… um…” She was likely only paying attention, but her intense gaze combined with his awareness of where and in what state he was sent a pink blush across the Watcher’s naked chest. He grabbed the quilt up again. “You-you wouldn’t ha-happen to have something I could slip into? By any chance?”
She laughed. “Giles, you’re at least twice my size. Sorry, but I don’t even think my robe would fit around your shoulders. Here,” Dawn took the ends of her quilt and wrapped it securely around him. “That should keep your modesty intact until he gets here.”
“Yes, uh, I guess it’s… Wait, he? Who-who else knows I’m here?!”
“Shh,” Dawn tried to sooth him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Calm down or your head’s gonna explode. And I really don’t want to have to clean up that kind of mess.” Her joke earned a hint of a smile, but he was still tense under her touch. “HE would be Andrew. I needed his help, so I called him. Good thing too because, when he realized you didn’t make it back to your rooms last night, he was about ready sound an all-out ‘red alert’.”
“That boy over-reacts so,” Giles grumbled.
“Not really,” she smiled seriously at him. “He told me what happened, and I would have been worried, too. And, you know, you do take him for granted. Right now he’s at the office working his little butt off to make sure all your meetings are postponed and all your work is getting done just so you can relax and get the rest you’ve been needing for a long time now. When things calm down enough, he’ll be around with some clean clothes for you so we can get you home with all your dignity intact.” Dawn chuckled at the surprise in her friend’s eyes. “I know you think he’s a little screw-up or something, but Andrew thinks you’re the coolest. Someday he hopes he can be a lot like you.”
Giles groaned, rubbing his sore head. “Perhaps he’d be less annoying if he wasn’t so… chipper all the time.”
“I’ll tell him,” the girl giggled.
He added in a whisper, “And, if I thought he was only a ‘screw-up’, I wouldn’t still have him as my personal assistant, now would I? However, we can’t let him get too comfortable and start slacking off.”
Dawn let out a full laugh at that, and tried to muffle the noise in her hand when Giles winced. He rubbed at a temple again.
“Now lie down and rest while you still have permission.”
“You said ‘we’,” he mumbled, not obeying her command. “You said ‘we maneuvered you in here’… Please tell me you meant Andrew and this hasn’t gotten any more out of hand.”
Dawn thought for a moment and gave him a smile that attempted to be reassuring. “Um… Not really. I didn’t get in touch with Andrew until this morning. Just to tell him you were safe, but in no condition to be in the office today. It was Poppy who found you outside last night. She was doing a late RA patrol and found you out front ‘screaming at the world’, as she put it. She came to get me because I’m the only one in the house who knows you personally, and because she was afraid you’d wake the younger girls and frighten them. We managed to quiet you down and bring you in out of the storm. But don’t worry, Giles, it’s just the three of us who know where you really are right now. And Poppy understands the stress you’re under. She had a rough life even before becoming a slayer.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eventually Giles was stumbling along in the dark again. Now anger had joined with the grief and drink churning inside him. The field of vampire dummies had been less than useless in giving him any kind of satisfactory relief from his pain and despair.
When he looked around again he was in the housing section of the compound. Large, block dorm buildings mixed among older style houses. All filled with innocent young people. They were here to learn how to use their slayer powers, here in training to become a new generation of watchers. They came because they trusted him to teach them, to lead them. But Giles knew the truth. The only place he knew how to lead was doom and death. All these children, all their spilled blood, he could already see it staining his hands.
He had to warn them. It was an overwhelming urge, all he could think to do.
“Please!” he shouted, pounding on the first set of doors he came to. “You must get out! You must run from here before it’s too late! Run from me!”
He was pulling the doors open, ready to spread his warning through the corridors of the house, when a strong hand gripped his shoulder.
“Mr. Giles?” the Slayer squinted at him in the dim light. “Are you all right?”
Even in his fog, he recognized her as one of the upperclassmen. She was older than most the girls in his charge, twenty at least. And her eyes held the light of experience beyond her years.
“You have to help me warn them.” Giles steadied himself on her solid frame. “They’re all so young. They don’t know the evil yet. I can’t protect them.”
“It’s all right, Mr. Giles,” the girl, Poppy was her name, gazed at him with compassion in her soft, blue eyes. “We know the danger, and those too young to know have the rest of us to help protect them. You’re not alone and we all know you do your best for us.”
The Watcher took in her statements with disbelief. This young woman, who knew him as no more than a distant headmaster, yet put so much trust in him. “I’ve failed so many,” he breathed. “I’ll fail you, too.”
Poppy’s eyes grew very serious. “I’ve been failed before, Sir. At least you care.”
Holding onto her rain coat, Giles buried his face in her shoulder and let the pent up tears leak from his eyes. Poppy managed to gently lead him out of the storm and into the dark, silent house lounge. She sat him down, softly stating, “Please stay here, Mr. Giles. You’re going to freeze to death if you go back outside. I’ll be right back with a warm blanket.”
Giles thought about leaving while she was gone. He thought about continuing his rampage through the hallways. Somewhere in the back of his mind he even thought that he should be terribly embarrassed about breaking down in the presence of any of his students. And he might have done one or more of these things, if the ability to properly use his limbs hadn’t completely abandoned him by this point.
“I’m not sure what’s wrong, but he looks like he could use a friend,” Poppy was whispering as she came back down the dim hallway. How long she’d been away Giles’ drunken mind could not determine.
He was slow to look up. When he did, he discovered a familiar, young face gazing back at him. “Bad night?” Dawn asked matter-of-factly.
There was no judgment, no pity, not even any surprise, just the acceptance of someone who had known him for too long. Giles couldn’t stop the rueful chuckle that spilled out at her simple diagnosis and nodded.
Dawn stood up while Poppy draped a blanket around his shoulders. “Let’s get him to my room,” she whispered to the Slayer. “No way we can take him all the way back to his apartment like this.” They hoisted him up and she continued to chirp conversationally in Giles’ ear as they all lumbered along through the corridors and stairwell together. “…And what are you thinking, Mister? Going out into a storm like this, without even a coat or anything. You’d just better hope I don’t tell Willow about this. You know how she hates it when you don’t look after of yourself.”
The part of Giles that held his pride wanted to lash back at the girl who was talking to him as if he were some silly child. But mostly he was too tired to fight her. Besides, it did feel rather good to have someone care.
“Thank you, Poppy. I think I can handle him from here.” At the Slayer’s solemn nod, Dawn shut her door and caught Giles by the arm as he was listing toward the bed. “Oh no you don’t. What were you doing out there anyway, wallowing in a mud puddle?”
“Sheemed like the shing to do,” Giles sniped back grumpily.
Dawn sighed, “Believe me, you drunk is not the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Not even just counting dealing with drunk people. So there’s no point in getting snippy.”
He stared at her very serious face for a moment, then shifted back to chuckling. “Ye-hic-yes ma’am.”
The girl shook her head. “Giles, I know you. I know whatever got you to this state wasn’t anything to take lightly. But you’re with someone who loves you now. I promise to take care of you and make everything better for tonight. Then we’ll deal with the rest of the world together in the morning.”
The Watcher released the breath he didn’t know he was holding and let her kind words wash over him. He suddenly felt safe.
“Now strip,” Dawn ordered. “Clothes in the corner over there. I’ll find a towel to dry your hair a little, and then we’ll get you into bed.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giles remembered stumbling out of his clothes, he remembered her warm hands on his body, soothing and directing him, and then… nothing.
“Lie down and rest,” Dawn was telling him again.
He didn’t move. His mind reached and searched for what happened next, but it wasn’t there. This sweet, young friend had told him she loved him, had promised to take care of him. She said she’d make everything better. But how had he responded? What kind of things could a drunken old man ask her to do for him? Giles shuddered. If it was anything like the requests of the drunken young man he once was, it was nothing he wanted to imagine Dawn involved in.
Her gentle hands cupping his face to bring his attention back up nearly made him jump out of his skin.
“What’s wrong?” she asked with worry in her eyes.
Giles stared at her kind face, his heart pounding in his ears. Finally he whimpered, “Bathroom?” Clearing his throat, he managed a more respectable tone, “I… I need to use the restroom.”
Her laugh was soft and musical. “Of course, you do. With how far gone you were by the time you got here last night, this is probably a totally dry campus today. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had to pee like a racehorse.”
“Dawn, please,” Giles gave her one of his suffering grown-up sighs. “If you could just direct me…”
“Hold on a minute and I’ll make sure the coast is clear.” She got up and headed to the door of her room.
“You haven’t one of your own?”
“Um, no,” she rolled her eyes. “I know you told Andrew to find me one of the apartments when I got here, but I wanted the college experience. Well, as near as possible at a school training people to save the world. Anyway, he put me in one of the upperclassmen houses as a compromise. There are only six of us on this floor. And most the girls should be gone to class by now. Just hold on and I’ll be right back.”
Giles was sure his eyes must have glazed over at some point during her explanation. His problem, however, was becoming rather demanding. It was an amazing thing. No matter how intelligent or philosophical a person was, their entire existence could, at times, be narrowed to the basic needs of the bladder.
He couldn’t wait much longer. Getting unsteadily to his feet, he gathered the quilt around him, covering as much of himself as possibly. At this point he did make the discovery that he’d managed to keep his boxers in place. It was something. However, neither reassuring as his modesty went nor conclusive in exonerating him of anything he might have done the night before. But that was a sin to repent for later. Now, there was only one goal.
He started forward, propelling himself in what could only be described as a waddle. Dawn re-entered the room, took one look at him, and nearly collapsed in a fit of giggles. At Giles’ exasperated sigh, she did her best to calm herself.
“Sor- Haha, um- Sorry. It’s just, with the big puffy around your head and having it wrapped like that around your legs… You look kinda like a big manatee trying to get up and escape the ocean.”
“Dawn, please. The ocean might not be what you want me thinking about at the moment.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. The bathroom’s clear. Come on.” She opened the door, checked the hallway, and motioned him forward. They managed to sneak across the hall, Dawn stifling her giggles the whole way. When Giles entered the restroom, she whispered, “I’ll stand guard. Oh and, locker number four.” At his confused and somewhat stricken gaze, she clarified. “Four is mine. The red toothbrush is new, and you can use anything in there you want to freshen up. Might help you feel better,” she grinned.
“Thank you,” Giles sighed sincerely and disappeared inside.
He was loath to admit it, but Dawn’s racehorse description wasn’t far off. About five minutes later, the Watcher was stumbling to the small bank of sinks. He looked horrible. In fact, the only morning he could remember waking up and looking worse, he had been an actual demon. Pulling open locker number four, Giles quickly found the new toothbrush. Although, with the wall of growth he could feel in his mouth, a pair of hedge clippers or chisel and hammer might have done just as well. Slowly gathering the things that would be useful to him, he returned to the sink… and froze.
“You don’t want to go in there,” Dawn’s voice bled in through the door.
“Come on, Dawn, quit playin’ around. I just need to grab my lip balm before I go. I’ll hold my breath, I promise.”
“Ha ha, funny. You can go one day without having pretty lips. Aren’t you gonna be late for class?”
“Yes, I am. And you know this British weather is tearing my skin up. If I don’t put something on my lips they’re going to chap and split. That hurts.”
“All right, I get it,” Dawn relented. Giles glanced around for a place to hide… hide and have his heart attack in that is. “You mean you need to get the small, round, disk-like container of pinkish gel out of your locker… number two.” She was saying this very clearly and deliberately. It took a second, but Giles’ brain finally ground into gear and he ran to the noted locker.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. You’re freaking me out a little now.”
“I’m just trying to be clear,” Dawn shrugged, and open the door just enough to slide her arm inside. When she pulled it back out, her hand held the needed item.
The other girl squealed. “You have a guy in there, don’t you!?!”
Giles could feel the heart attack coming on again.
“You’d better go. Strict rules around here, you know.” Dawn tried to dodge.
“I knew you were gonna be trouble,” her friend shouted excitedly. “Is he cute?”
“Would I sneak any other kind of guy around this place?” Dawn giggled conspiratorially.
The girls laughed and Giles knew he was on the verge of passing out.
He finally heard the other girl whisper. “Just don’t let Poppy catch you. She’ll get all on your case, and then report you Mr. Giles’ office.”
“Oh, Mr. Giles,” Dawn replied with exaggerated awe. “You mean the guy I like to call my big Rupert-bear? All I have to do is give him the pouty face and he’ll let me get away with anything.”
“You are horrible,” the other girl squealed. “Having you in the house is gonna be so much fun.”
“You’d better get going. Don’t want to get in trouble… unless it’s worth it.” After a few moments, Dawn cracked the door open and peeked inside. “You all right in there?”
Giles raised an irritated eyebrow. “Rupert-bear?” Much to his dismay, he found that his stern gaze could not hold up against the girl’s innocent pout. “Oh, for crying out loud,” he grumbled.
“You’d better finish up,” his young friend chuckled triumphantly before shutting him in again.
The Watcher decided to waste no more time and went quickly about making himself the least bit presentable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The motley pair made it back into Dawn’s dorm room with no further excitement. After locking her door, the girl again gently directed him back to bed with light, soothing touches. She made sure he was comfortably propped on the pillows and proceeded to tuck him in.
“All right, sweetie?” she whispered, running her fingers through his newly combed hair. “Now you just rest and let the drugs do their work. I promise to be quiet while you sleep.”
She was leaning forward, her lips coming closer and closer. Giles couldn’t take anymore. Everything inside him had already run away. It was just his body that was stuck in this situation… uncomfortable, and tense, and unable to see any way out.
“Dawn, please!” It came out louder than he’d anticipated, making them both jump. “I,I,I,I,I… You need to know you’ve done nothing wrong. But whatever I said to you last night. Whatever I might have promised…” Giles sighed heavily, holding her gently by the upper arms. “Oh God, I can’t remember anything after… Buffy will kill me. And Xander… Xander.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Phone call for you, Mr. Giles!”
The Head of the Council groaned, tossing his glasses onto to his desk. “It’s late, Andrew. Is it anything that can wait until morning?”
His assistant stepped all the way into the office. “I would have handled it, but it’s Xander and I thought you might like to talk to him. He doesn’t sound very good, to be honest.”
“Yes, you were right. I’ll always talk to Xander. Thank you. And, Andrew, make sure everyone else has gone home for tonight. That includes you.”
“I’ll see you in the morning, Sir,” the boy smiled and retreated, closing the door behind him.
Giles caught up the phone with a small grin, “Xander, it’s so good to hear from you.”
“The intelligence was wrong. We were wrong.” His young friend’s voice was rough with grief and slightly slurred.
“Tell me what happened,” Giles said as calmly as he could. “Are you injured, Xander?”
“Me?” came as a harsh snort. “I’m just fine. The pink of health.”
The older Watcher relaxed the tiniest bit. “All right. Tell me everything.”
“We thought we had it figured out. You guys researched, we researched. I had a solid plan and the girls were ready.”
“But we missed something,” Giles whispered, afraid of the answer.
“Everything,” Xander nearly shouted. “We were in the wrong place, with the wrong weapons, fighting the wrong demons. There was nothing I could do. My slayers, my girls were champions. They looked after each other, pulled me out. But it wasn’t enough. And then… Shay was fearless. She made sure to cover the retreat. Oh God , Giles, I was holding her. She… she told me we did our best, that I did all I could, and then she died right here in my arms.”
Giles waited quietly as the young man broke down at the other end of the line, tears pricking at his own eyes. He opened a desk drawer and pulled out a tumbler and a bottle of Scotch. Hearing Xander gulp down a drink, he poured one for himself.
“Shall we drink to her memory?” he murmured softly after a long while. “To a fallen slayer, warrior, and friend.” Xander swallowed hard and downed another gulp with him.
“I’m sorry, Giles,” his voice rattled. “I know I should be stronger than this. I shouldn’t heap all of this on you.”
The elder Watcher gave a mirthless chuckle. “Of all the people in this world, I can truly say that I understand what you’re going through, Xander. You were there. You watched as the loss of Buffy shattered me. We… we do our very best, but even now it’s the curse of the Watcher to remain, to survive.”
“But you were always so strong. You never broke down into a blubbering mess like this.” Xander groaned, “Now I’m disappointing you, just like always.”
“How do you know?” he replied gently. “I’m sure that you have remained a beacon of strength and hope for the rest of your team. Did you never consider that I did the same as you are now? All of you were still so young and had each other to take care of. You needed me to be as you always saw me. The adult… the stalwart Watcher. But, behind closed doors, I also wept on the distant shoulders of peers and friends who knew the same pain of loss.”
The young man sniffed and chuckled slightly. “Does that mean we’re peers and friends? Wonder when that happened?”
Giles gave a small smile. “We became friends when you started to speak in sentences I mostly understood, I think. And we were peers when you chose to put your own life aside and never leave the Slayer’s service.”
“Does it ever get any easier, Giles? Being a Watcher?”
“No, it doesn’t. And, honestly, I think I dread any day that it might.” Both men silently took another drink. Though separated by thousands of miles, each took solace in the quiet companionship of the other.
After a long pause, Xander spoke quietly, “Dawn wants to be one, you know. A Watcher, like us.”
“Yes, I know. She started here at the Academy this last term.”
“I… Is it the best thing for her? I can’t stand the thought of her going through… of her feeling like this.”
The older man sighed. “I dare say Dawn has already been through more than her share of pain in her young life. We have never been able to spare her that, no matter how hard we tried. But it’s her choice and her path now. I think it would be entirely unfair to take that from her, even with the best of intensions. And, of all the young people here, she truly is the one who comes to this with her eyes most open.”
“I know,” Xander groaned. “She’s so special, so extraordinary.”
“Yes. And she will be a magnificent Watcher.”
There was a small chuckle. “Can you believe it? Our little Dawnie is eighteen now.”
“Well, yes. I do recall the celebration several months back. Do you know… I had to threaten to not accept her into the Academy at all, just so she would stay with Buffy until then.” Giles sighed, “You all grew up so fast.”
“She’s beautiful, you know. I didn’t let myself think about it before because she was still just a kid. But she’s grown into a wonderful woman.”
“I do know. Of all the students here, it is a bit nice to finally have one who treats me like… Well, like a fallible human being. Even a silly, old git sometimes. Now, don’t you dare tell her I said that. She’ll never leave me be.”
The younger Watcher laughed at that, but it faded quickly. “Maybe she’ll do better than us, huh?”
Giles poured himself more Scotch and settled into his chair for a long night. “Tell me about Shay, Xander. What was she like?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh Lord, no… Buffy’s not going to get the chance to kill me. Xander will have Willow turn me into the beast that I am and keep me around to beat… I deserve it,” Giles groaned.
“What is wrong with you?” Dawn asked gently, twisting out of his desperate clutches. “Why would Buffy? Or Xander? Tell me how I can help, sweetheart?”
He winced at the endearment and looked pleadingly into her beautiful eyes. “I am so sorry. But whatever happened last night… Whatever we did. It can never, ever…”
Dawn’s face suddenly registered a look of pure shock. She had finally found her way to the dark, little corner his mind had been cowering in. When she saw her friend try to duck away from her gape, taking it for disgust or even rage, her shock quickly melted into sympathy. How could such a good man never fail to think the worst of himself?
“Giles,” she said sweetly to get his attention. Before he could stop her again, she leaned forward and place a solid kiss directly in the middle of his forehead. Then she pulled back and thumped him with the heel of her hand in the exact same spot.
The Watcher grunted at the brief, disproportionate pain and rubbed his head absently. The comical look of confusion on his face nearly broke the serious expression Dawn had put in place.
“Now listen,” she began with an edge to her still low and controlled voice. “I want you to know that I can see you for what you are. You are a kind, caring, generous man, who is still very handsome and dashing no matter what your age. Any woman on Earth would be lucky to have you. I want you to know that before I say this… EWWWWWW!”
So many emotions flood Giles’ face, it was hard to tell what he was thinking. So Dawn continued.
“I love you so much. And it’s because you’re like a father to me. No, you’re more of a dad than my fake dad ever was, even in the false memories. You did your best to always take care of me and help me grow up. The only reason I don’t just call you ‘dad’ is because you’d probably think I was making fun of you. Now, I don’t know about you, but incest really isn’t one of my kinks. How could you think…?”
“I,I,I don’t know,” Giles finally let a relieved sigh escape. “I just remembered being in your bedroom, and taking my clothes off, and you saying you would make me feel better, and… I can’t remember anything else.”
“That’s because you managed to get out of all those wet, muddy clothes, and I barely had time to get a towel over your head before you collapsed on the bed and passed out. We’re just lucky you made it that far, because, if you'd gone down on the floor, that’s where you would have woken up. You are one big dude and I’m no slayer.”
The hoped for smile appeared on his slowly relaxing face. “But, what about the pet names, and the little touches, and the taking care of me...?”
“Why wouldn’t I want to take care of you? And I was practicing my bedside manner.” Dawn laughed. “You’re the one who helped me sign up for the Slayer Medicine Program along with my Watcher training. When I was sick, mom used to call me ‘Sweetie’ and stroke my head and all that. I was just trying to help you feel better. I guess it wasn’t working very well, was it?”
A touch of pink tinged his cheeks. “It would have worked better if you weren’t dealing with a damned old fool. You will be an excellent doctor.”
“Giles,” his young friend whispered sadly. “Why do you always assume you’ve done the worst possible thing? I can’t imagine you trying to get anyone to… Trying to get a girl to do anything she didn’t really want to.”
The Watcher shook his head slowly. “The bleakest self-image is often the one that dies hardest, luv. I guess… Well, I’m not a saint, and I know it all too well.”
“If you don’t trust yourself, then maybe you should trust the ones who love you. Even if you had made a suggestion like that, or it had crossed my mind, what kind of friend would I be if I let you do anything that I knew you would torture yourself over later? I’d never let that happen to you.”
Giles sighed deeply. “I never thought of it that way. Part of me still sees the innocent, little girl I once knew. I forget sometimes that you truly have become a wonderful young woman.”
A wide grin spread across Dawn’s lovely face. One just for him. “Will you freak out if I hug you right now?”
“Perhaps,” Giles chuckled. “But I think it’s worth the risk.”
She flung her arms around his neck, squeezing him tight. And he unashamedly held her close.
“I think you should get that rest you need now,” she whispered in his ear as she released him. “I know last night was rough. I know what you did for Xander. Thank you.” The girl left a soft kiss on his cheek as she pulled away.
“Just part of my duty as…” he cut off the automatic self-dismissal when she shook her head.
“It’s part of you being you.”
Giles settled back into the bed, this time allowing himself to find comfort there. He let Dawn tuck him back in and watched through half closed eyes as she wheeled her desk chair up next to him and began reading in one of her textbooks. He didn’t even flinch when she gently slipped her hand into his.
The last thing Giles was aware of as he drifted to sleep was Dawn answering her phone again. “It’s fine, Andrew. We’re doing perfect here.-- Finish everything you need to. He’s finally sleeping peacefully now anyway.-- Nope. I’ll keep him safe here. His image in the school is secure. Nobody will find out he’s not really a stuffy, old rulebook with arms.-- Of course, how could he not be all right with friends like us to take care of him?”
Dawn felt a tender squeeze from the hand she held before it completely relaxed.