Chapter Text
how many years has it been?
you've stopped counting. all you know for sure is that all your fingers, all your toes, all the limbs on your body would be insufficient to keep track of the years you've loved this man.
you two have a child, sizhui. he's shaping up to be a fine young man, kind and righteous and everything a parent could dream of having. you also have numerous rabbits, too many to fit in a house, so they've been moved to a field near the cold springs that you both love.
and yet.
yet.
every time you look at him, you're blown away by how utterly perfect he is. every time he smiles, your heart forgets which rhythm to beat to. and every time he's selfish - when he doesn't want you to go, when he makes it known that he is yours and you are his - you feel like a helpless teenager again, discovering that you love the boy you've worked so meticulously to annoy.
you remember your shijie telling you that love is never quite rational. you didn't know what to make of it at that time, because you and jiang cheng both could barely even look at jin zixuan without getting angry. but of course she's right, just like she was right about everything else - five years of marriage have done nothing to quell the tsunami wave of love in your heart whenever you are with him. there is no explanation for the thrill that still courses through your body when you remember that he is your husband, that you have promised the rest of your lives to each other, that you will follow him wherever he goes and he would do the same for you.
all you can do is hope, and pray, that you will never get used to this.