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He really hated hospitals, Okuyasu decided. There was always some beeping noise, it smelled way too clean, and the blinding white of the hallway, floor, walls, and almost every piece of furniture just gave him a massive headache. More than anything, though, he hated what they represented. Being at the hospital in and of itself was more often than not a sign that something had gone horribly wrong, and even though his boyfriend was on the path to recovery, thinking about what had happened- and worse, what could have happened- still sent an unpleasant wave of anxiety through his whole body. Two weeks had passed since the weight of the town had been lifted from the stand users of Morioh's shoulders, but Okuyasu still had not recovered.
Sure, his injuries had been healed perfectly thanks to Crazy Diamond, but it still felt like something was missing, like something very important had been taken away that he had yet to find again. Rather than a physical object, it was almost like a part of his soul had left him, never to return- around the time he saw Josuke's battered body being wheeled into the back of an ambulance and sped away to the nearest hospital, his normally impeccable hair mussled, face bruised and bloodied, several bones shattered, planks of wood still lodged in his limbs.
The imposing threat had since been defeated, but the real danger beneath all the adrenaline had just caught up to Okuyasu. His blood rushed around in his brain, making it fizzle like a shook-up soda. His legs felt like they had 50-pound anchors attached to them, so all he could do was sink to his knees. He couldn't breathe, there was no air in his lungs. The scenery around him started to gray out and darken and as he was blinded with sheer panic and fear he thought to himself: this is what it feels like to be a fish out of water, suddenly devoid of what made them thrive, no, what made them able to exist, and though the day was ultimately a victory, Okuyasu felt defeated.
Not again. I can't do this again.
The next thing he remembers is feeling a hand on his shoulder.
"Okuyasu, are you okay?" Koichi's voice sounded like it was underwater, or maybe playing on a fuzzy TV, his touch barely registering to his senses. Okuyasu cleared his throat.
"Uh, yeah, man." His throat was on fire, like he had just swallowed a bunch of needles. After a short stretch of silence, he continued, "Well... what do we do now?"
Koichi looked at the ground. "I don't know. Today has felt so surreal, it's almost like it didn't even happen." He looked back at Okuyasu. "Do you want to, I don't know, get ice cream or something? I think we just need to take our minds off of this for a while." Not trusting his voice, Okuyasu just nodded and stood, dusting off his knees.
When Okuyasu blinked back to the present, he raised his eyes to meet Josuke's own, looking at him expectantly. "Sorry, what?"
"I said, what'cha been up to during the break? Sucks that I can't hang out with you guys. It feels like I've been stuck in this shitty room for ages, dude. I can hardly do anything." Josuke wiggled one of his casts as if to prove his point. "I just stare at the walls, or watch whatever dumb movie they put on. Or read one of the boring-ass books they have here. Or when my mom's here I pretend to work on the summer homework just to get her off my ass. Did you start that shit already? I can't even figure out--"
Okuyasu didn't know what came over him, but before Josuke could get another word out, he was leaning over the other boy, almost on top of him as he embraced him, arms wrapped tightly but carefully around his torso so as to not hurt him. He buried his forehead on his shoulder and just exhaled. "Um," he heard Josuke start, feeling a puff of air on his ear as he breathed out a laugh. "What?"
The problem was, Okuyasu didn't really have the words to explain his actions. He didn't know if he ever would. He just kept holding onto Josuke like he was a lifeline, lifting his head only slightly to rest his cheek on his and just feel his warmth, the proof that he was still here. He clung on, tighter and tighter(he heard a small groan from Josuke- whoops, too tight), like if Okuyasu let go, if he slipped from his arms, he would be lost forever.
Back then with Keicho, he hadn't gotten this. His brother's last command, to stay away from him and not touch him as he was pulled away by that electric stand, had shaken him to his core, made his blood run cold, but he obeyed. It was for his own good. He didn't get the chance to feel another embrace from him ever again, though those had long since run dry since their family had fallen apart and his brother turned into a ruthless murderer. Not even the vision of his brother he saw on that day, the day he almost lost so much, even so much as came near Okuyasu.
He would never say it out loud, but he secretly missed the comfort that physical touch brought. With Josuke around, though, he felt he could get used to it again.
He finally sighed and opened his mouth, hoping something coherent would come out. "I just. I need to, you know. Feel you. Feel that you're still here, with me." He coughed, suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment. "Sorry."
Though he couldn't see his face, Okuyasu could tell Josuke was smiling at him again. "Come on dude, don't be sorry. I'm definitely still here. You think I'd let such an easy target take me down? Don't you dare underestimate me." His tone was bright and teasing, but a moment later, he felt a comforting hand- the one that wasn't in a cast - reach up and stroke the back of his head. "Besides, I, uh. I wouldn't leave you behind like that, you know? You're the one who almost left me... never mind. Let's talk about something else. Okay?" Okuyasu nodded.
The two boys fell back into easy conversation until visiting hours ended and Okuyasu reluctantly stood up to leave. They stared at each other for a moment before Josuke gently tugged on the front of his uniform, pulling him down to gently press their lips together. "Well, see ya," he said, averting his eyes as a faint pink color dusted his cheeks.
Okuyasu dipped his head and spun around to the door. "Yeah. See ya, man." He opened the door and made his way down the hall, making a mental note to come back here again tomorrow, and every day after that.