Chapter Text
1987
It was a lot harder to pretend you weren’t in love with your co-worker than Bojack thought it was going to be.
In movies the people in secret relationships were always having fun sneaking around and getting into zany situations. Then again those movies always ended with the relationship being discovered eventually, so maybe that wasn’t the best format for Bojack to base his expectations on.
Because it was a well understood fact between him and Herb that if their relationship was discovered, everything that they had worked for would fall apart.
---
Horsin Around had finally ended pre production, the recording of season one was in full swing, and Bojack was learning the hard way that his and Herb’s relationship was going to consist of a lot more deliberate calculating of his words and movements than he was prepared for.
Overall it was a lot more depressing than he thought it would be.
It made him feel guilty when he had to turn down a woman asking him out, and he had to struggle to come up with some phony excuse so he didn’t hurt her feelings. And it made him feel jealous and petty when he saw that Herb was having to do the same thing.
It made him feel like his stomach was full of rocks to pretend his weekend plans consisted of going on fictitious dates with these women. And it made him feel sick to his core when all he wanted to do was hold his boyfriend’s hand when he knew the world at large would not allow it.
At the beginning, Herb had insisted that it wouldn't be that bad, after all, Horsin Around was a brand new show, and compared to some of the more popular and long running shows on the network, they didn’t have too much wiggle room for indiscretions like this, and no choice in the matter to make their relationship public.
The plan was initially for them to “carpool” together to the set in the morning, do their jobs like professionals do, and at the end of the day they get to go home and spend as much time as they wanted with one another. A simple routine to keep work and personal life separate.
But it was harder than anticipated when you work with your partner. And after just one month of production Herb and Bojack were feeling the full weight of their situation. God knows it was hard enough to hide a relationship between a man and a woman, but between two men? Show just a little too much affection, and heads would turn. After three months of sneaking around Bojack and Herb had reached a breaking point.
They had started putting their hands on one another’s shoulders.
Often.
And in public.
It was both extremely refreshing and undeniably terrifying. Because if someone got the wrong idea (or in this case the right idea), it would blow everything apart for them, and the show.
But for now, it was all they could get.
And they needed it.