Chapter Text
His heart dropped as heavy as the Earth Giants boulders. His eyes were trained on Anna’s form weaving in and out of the trees, determined to lead them to the dam. And once said dam was broken he watched as she clung to Mattias, thanking every spirit in the sky that he had managed to reach out and catch her. They hauled her up and relief washed over them, they were all safe. Anna had been so brave and Kristoff couldn't have beeen prouder.
But even so, something felt off.
Elsa had managed to save Arendelle and thus balance was restored. The wall of fog had lifted and they were free to leave the forest as they pleased. Ryder stared up at the expanse of sky in such awe, that Kristoff couldn't help smiling along with him. Everything was as it should be, but somehow, something felt wrong. No longer did butterflies dance in his stomach when Anna gripped his hand, his head didn’t cloud over when they kissed. There was no rush of excitement when he saw her, the spark had fizzled and died. It left him with a lot to think about, all the doubts he harboured when she left came rushing back. No longer feeling he could trail behind, chasing after her when she would undoubtedly leave again for Arendelle. She had been his first experience of love, his first relationship. Outside of that he didn’t feel like he knew himself at all anymore.
Coming to such a stark realisation left him anxious and he began unintentionally avoiding Anna whenever he could. He found himself spending more time out in the wilderness with the reindeer, it brought back memories from his childhood. Being out in nature with Sven and the trolls, not cooped up in castle walls listening to boring officials and watching as everyone rushed by engrossed in their work. He felt more at peace than ever before, it came so naturally, he didn’t want to be anywhere else. He had begun to spend a lot of time around Ryder, who seemed delighted to have some human company for a change. They spent hours laying in the grass, just talking. Ryder taught him about reindeer herding and he in turn told stories of the outside world beyond the forest. Sven and the others grazed nearby, the sounds of their bellows and scuffing hooves a comforting melody to their day.
Kristoff was growing extremely fond of Ryder, he had such an innocent excitement about everything he found unfamiliar. He was a light in Kristoff’s increasingly gloomy world, the last bit of glowing daylight that remained in the dark northern winters. They laughed together, took walks and basked in each others company. It lifted so much weight from his shoulders, allowing him space to breath for a few moments. There were no doubts with Ryder, he openly expressed his emotions and Kristoff was finding it hard to believe life could be this simple. He knew it would come to an end eventually if he returned to Arendelle. He brought the subject of his departure up with Ryder, who smiled honey sweet and begged for Kristoff to tell him more about the castle.
“It all sounds amazing, to think there is such a huge amount of the world I’ve never even seen, whole ways of life I’ve never even thought could exist.” Ryder sighed as he focused on making a flower crown that Kristoff was convinced was ninety percent weeds. His hands expertly weaved their stems together until they joined as one.
“You have it pretty good here though, why would you want to leave?”
Ryder turned to look at Kristoff. “It gets pretty lonely sometimes, sure I have family here, and the reindeer. But I’ve never really had a connection with anybody else.”
“It was the same for me when I was harvesting ice, Anna was the first human connection I ever made. I didn’t know anything about relationships outside of that and my troll family.”
Ryder placed his hand over Kristoff’s. “Are you returning to be with her?”
Kristoff paused in thought. Could he really spend the rest of his life like that? Married to someone he wasn’t sure he was in love with anymore. Of course he still held feelings for her, but they were more of admiration of her strength and appreciation of their friendship.
The warmth of Ryder’s palm radiated through his body, so comforting he wanted to be enveloped by it. He curled his fingers around his hand and looked up at the other man.
“I’m not sure that’s where I’m meant to be anymore, I feel lost.”
Ryder smiled sadly, cautiously pulling Kristoff in for a hug. “You’ll know what the right path is Kristoff, listen to your heart.”