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I am in a conflict. It is Christmas day, which also means a great time to cuddle up with a loved one and be a Riley that throw glitter in the air. Maya had to go home with her newly complete family and I am really happy for her because she deserves the world. I want to hold her close because I don’t know what to do without her here. The decorations are up, my family is here, and Zay, Isadora, and Farkle came over after celebrating with their families. But even then, it still feels incomplete without Maya. Sounds of sleigh bells and the taste of cocoa won't fill the loneliness in my heart.
Home is where the Hart is, after all.
I'm squeezing onto my pillow hoping to restore the warmth I lost when she left but let’s face it, it won’t hold me like she does.
*Riley is in the bay window chilling when Zay, Smackle, and Farkle walk in*
"Hey Riley, I hope you're okay." Isadora says as she and Farkle walk into my room.
"I'd be sad if Isadora left me without telling me." Farkle declares.
"I would never do that, dearest." she states, wrapping her arm around his shoulder.
It takes me a second before I realize what they're talking about. I'm annoyed but I could care less since he's not half the guy I thought he was. He waits until the last minute to ask me out to the spring formal, tries to kiss Maya, and leaves me on Christmas because he cannot think of a good gift. I didn't let the fact Lucas left to Texas faze me from having a good time with Secret Santa though. I've got another secret under my sleeve but I tuck it in like I always do because that's how it has always been.
"It's fine, I'm just... I'll deal with him when he comes back." I stir the hot cocoa I acquired in the kitchen before I declared never moving away from the bay window.
"Hey, I got hot chocolates." Zay says standing under the frame of the door with a wide smile on his face.
"I’m going to drink these outside ‘cause I don't wanna be rude and drink these in your room."
"It's fine, Zay-" I motion my cup signaling that I don't mind anyone drinking it in here.
"It's Christmas and I don't wanna ruin anything for you, especially since Lucas already got that covered." He rolled his eyes suggesting that he was annoyed with him not showing up, probably even more than I am.
"So anyone wanna drink hot chocolate with me?" he said motioning towards the door.
"See ya, honey." Isadora declares as she heads straight towards the door.
Zay does the theremin sound as he puts his arm around Isadora's shoulder as the walk out the door.
"Well, at least she told me first." Farkle chuckled as he goes to sit on the floor.
"So are you really bothered by Lucas not being here for Secret Santa?"
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be mad?"
"I don't know, you seem calm" He says staring at me squinty eyed as if he's trying to figure something out.
"What?" I look around pretending to be nonchalant when in all honesty, the only thing I can think about is whether Maya's having a good time with her family like she's always wanted or if it amplified her fear of scaring Shawn away with her awkward, gimbo the elf antics. I really wish she was here. A Christmas here would be surefire in keeping her happy.
"I'm calm because I'm with my friends." I finally respond.
"Uh huh, sure." He stares at knowing that I'm hiding something. I'm in love with Maya. I'm in love with her. I always have been but I just didn’t realize it. At least not completely. She pushed me onto Lucas' lap and pretended to be me in order to find out if he would be good enough. She's my extraordinary relationship and the only one good enough for me. She's the only one I want here with me. Not a boy who came between us. Not any boy for that matter. I knew that a long time ago. There was always a fluttering in my chest suggesting I could like her in that way but I had always dismissed it as me just caring a lot about my best friend. But it's not. It's clearly not just that when I'm only thinking about her when I'm with him. She would do anything for me like I would do anything for her and hence, the saddest thing came to play.
It only took her leaving for me to want her to stay.
"So in my Statistics class we're learning about surveys and how there’s a term called response bias. There are many different types but one of them includes the surveyor phrasing the question so the responders feel like they have to lie about the answers to look good, even though it's completely anonymous." Farkle states, interrupting the silence that was flooding the air.
I stare at him blankly. What does this have to do with anything?
"I know you're worried about Maya. 100% of your personality can't handle it. You may not be taking a survey but you don't have to lie."
"It's just that she usually stays here after spending time with her mom and gimbo the elf. I just miss her. Does that sound crazy?"
"No . You guys just love each other that's all."
My cheeks start turning bright red. Love? who said anything about love?
"How did you know?" I'm getting super nervous and I can't stop.
"Because you guys are bes- oh you mean? Whoa." He stares at me, blinking his eyes like he just discovered a new planet.
"Whoa what?"
"You thought I meant love like Isadora and I?"
I nodded.
"I knew there was something going on!” Farkle declares with a slight grin on his face.
“How?” Riley questions.
“The same way she knows."
My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. She knows?
"Or at least I think she knows but what would I know, I'm not a genius or anything." He paused just to make another smug grin.
He continues his explanation. "I had an inkling just by how you look at her and how you guys always cuddle and hold hands wherever you go, as if life is an adventure that you'll only want to go through with each other. Not to mention, the fact that you would do anything for her just to make her happy."
"She would do the same for me." I reply.
"I know. I guess that leaves one thing left."
"Lucas. I know I have to tell him and sort things out."
"Yep. I hope you don't make a survey bias. That freak face interviewer needs some valid answers."
I cracked a smile. "Thanks Farkle."
"Don't mention it."
"I'm gonna head out! ZAY! SMACKLE!"
"COMING HONEY!!" They both scream out.
Farkle has a confused expression on his face but then it softens up when he sees Zay's great smile. He shrugs and wraps his arms around both of them.
"I gotta say. This has been a very candor christmas"
"Tell me about it. Goodnight guys!"
"Good night Riley, I hope you're Christmas gets a little better." wishes Smackle.
"No, it's fine, Isadora I think I got it covered." I say as Farkle winks at me because of what I told him earlier.
"I'm watching you two." Smackle says.
"So am I." Zay adds on.
There's an awkward pause for a moment as the trio shares awkward glances. They smile at each other as if something in their mind just clicks and it feels right.
"Well good night." Zay and Farkle say in unison.
They start to walk out the window one-by-one. Zay goes out first because he still thinks it's rude to use the window as a way to go in and out of a room and just wants to get it over with. Smackle follows him. And just as Farkle is about to go out, he turns and looks at me for a second.
"Tell Maya I said Hi." The smug look returns on his face and before I can ask what he's talking about, he leaves.
I hear knocking on the bay window. Is that-?
"Did someone wish for a Maya this Christmas?", she says in a silly accent that she always does. She’s so adorable.
"Maya!!!!!" She comes in and I squeeze her as tight as I possibly can.
"I thought you were gonna end your Christmas at home since you started here?"
"I know what you did, sweetie." She stated in a serious voice. I was speechless. I hear Isadora doing a theremin sound from the living room, which makes me a little more anxious than I already am.
"I- I wanted you to have a nice time with your mom and Shawn- the family you have always wanted and deserved." I said confusedly, beginning to get flustered.
"I know and I wanted to give you something you deserve since your haysack of a boyfriend didn't show up. But wait, hold on- did you open the suitcase I got you?"
"No, I thought you were my only present. Why, what's in it?"
"Part 2 of your present. But only if you're okay with it."
I stand there puzzled. What does she mean if I'm okay with it?
She opens up the suitcase and digs through a bunch of her clothes to find a small box. Maya starts opening it up.
"aUGGGIE! WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Is she gonna propose? But we already have rings? Why am I thinking about this right now. I need to calm the hell down.
"No honey, hold on." She chuckles as she takes out the contents of the box.
"AUGGGIE STAY WHERE U ARE."
"Mistletoe?"
"Yeah, we had it at the chimney at home and I thought I'd bring it here, since you love Christmas and love so I-"
"I love it!"
I suddenly begin to hear music playing as Maya explains, "To set the mood." My heart starts races because she knows this is my favorite song.
All I want For Christmas Is You plays in the background as Maya continues to hold the mistletoe in her hands. I feel my cheeks heat up as I realize that I have to kiss her.
"Make my wish come true, all I want for christmas is youuu." she sings in her beautiful voice. She bops my nose on "you". My favorite song, on my favorite day of my favorite month sang by my favorite person. She looks so cute. I cannot believe- I don't even know how to feel right now. Except happy and satisfied that at least for now, everything is good.
I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Merry Christmas, Peaches." She looks at me slightly surprised but happy.
"Merry Christmas, Riles." She's kisses me back on the cheek.. I almost jump out of the bay window from the sudden contact.
It really is the best time of the year to be a Riley.
“And just for the record, home is wherever you are, Riley." She takes my hand and rubs slow small circles with her thumb over my sweaty palms.
"ThankIloveyoupeaches." slips out of my mouth. Shit. I just wanted to thank her but I guess my feelings got in the way. Maybe it’s okay for it to get in the way.
She chuckles noticing that my simple words of gratitude turned into alphabet soup soaked in love.
"I love you too, honey." We're both blushing and we share a gay- I mean gaze. She looks at my lips suggesting she wishes she could kiss me there but we both know right now isn’t the right time.
Maybe next Christmas.
She starts walking out the door. I look downwards and frown wishing she could stay longer but Shawn and Katy are probably wondering where she ventured to at 11 PM.
"Merry Christmas." Maya spoke pausing with her facing me before she walks out the window.
Auggie comes in, running, and pauses by the door seeing Maya leave.
"They're gonna marry each other one day."