Work Text:
T'was the night before Christmas; all throughout SE.RA.PH
Everyone was sleeping, like they'd taken decaf;
The stockings were hung and the trees dressed in gold,
For rumours of Santa in Rome had been told.
Little Altera lay snug in her bedspread,
While dreams of fluffy space sheep bleat overhead;
With Caster clung to my back, there was none in view,
And then I realised that I was down one Waifu.
Then to my ears I hear such a baffling sound,
I slipped from my bed and I followed it downtown.
The fresh dust of snow that blanketed the street,
Trailed one large deep trench, like a cut through a sheet.
Suddenly, the noise grew louder and louder,
Running like the wind, they kicked up a powder;
When the snow settled, she was there dressed in red,
A familiar sight that I missed from my bed.
With a sack over her back, her face lit with glee,
It was Nero– no Santa, obviously!
Santa straightened her hat and looked to a roof,
And she dashed and jumped, and landed with a poof.
"Unacceptable! There is no chimney!" she said,
Drew out her sword, and pierced a hole there instead.
"Ah! Danger!" the NPCs yelled. "No, not again!"
But it was gifts instead that graced their domain.
With that she pressed on, humming a festive tune,
I saw her next stop, to the palace she'd be soon;
In the Moonlight I ran with joyful abandon,
Christmas was coming through the walls like Drake's cannon!
Yes! I made it in time, huffing and puffing,
Santa's in the ballroom, I could hear her laughing.
I tip-toed down the hall and I peeked through the door,
And caught a good glimpse of Nero-Claus on the floor;
She wore a red coat that skimmed across the ground,
And when she shook herself, white snow fell around.
It must be a new Formalwear, she looked so cute!
She laughed; dancing and prancing, and spun on her boot.
Her hair how it sparkled! It shimmered like gold thread,
Even with the red hat she wore on her head.
Her eyes were as green as our finely dressed tree,
She spun around to face it, her back turned to me;
She threw down her sack, and heartily jumped in,
Then she emerged, and pulled a gift from within.
There was no end to her gifts– truly inspired!
Something however was left to be desired;
"Hashire sori yo, kaze no you ni..."
Oh that voice, it could turn buildings to debris.
At the turn of her head she knew I looked on,
Oh no! She saw me! The magic was all gone!
With a swish of her finger she bid me adieu;
"Understood" I said and she replied with "umu!"
Our stockings were now filled, but her job was not done,
Back up the chimney to share the rest of her fun.
The night was silent no more as she sang loudly,
The best looking Santa shall be known through history.
All throughout space, from the Moon to Timbuktu,
Were the deafening words– "PADORU PADORU!"