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It was another brilliantly sunny day in Rome. On days like these, Hakuno was usually spotted outside, running from place to place.
And yet for some strange reason, Nameless could sense his Master's presence from inside the kitchens of the Roman palace. How odd. For all his time spent in this new world he found himself in, he'd never visited the kitchens. And what a mistake that was.
His jaw couldn't drop any lower; the kitchens were a palace. A palace within a palace. A palace of ovens, pans and stovetops. The Emperor spared no expense in designing the most lavish kitchen; rows of sparkling counters stood proudly on white marble, and stretched on almost out of sight.
Archer was getting itchy fingers– and a good cook up was the only cure.
At a nearby counter top Hakuno was fumbling with a set of bowls and pans. She had updated her mystic codes; now she wore a plain black apron that hugged her slim waist. Her long brown hair was swept up high into a ponytail. Archer had two sets of memories of his Master; the girl from a world long gone, and this girl, whose pure optimism had seen her through many battles. He was sure neither of them had ever stepped foot inside a kitchen. She jumped slightly at his presence.
'Oh, hi Archer,' greeted Hakuno.
'What's going on?' he asked. 'Did you miss out on lunch?'
'I... ah, no!' she replied hastily. She lightly twisted the strings on her apron as she mumbled in embarrassment. 'I... am going to cook.'
'Oh?'
'Yeah,' she replied meekly. 'Everyone is always cooking for me, so I thought I'd make something as thanks.'
Archer fought back a smile; she was forever surprising him. 'How nice of you. What's on the menu?'
'Well Rin Tohsaka once made me fried rice. It looked simple enough so I thought I'd give it a try.' The Regalia glowed slightly on her hand. The key to the Moon Cell; every bit of history and knowledge from Earth was literally at her fingertips. And then he realised.
'... Wait,' he said. 'Are you seriously using the Moon Cell to find a recipe?!'
'I've got access to all of human culture – I'm pretty sure I can access a recipe!'
She had no shame! And yet instead of scolding her, he found himself laughing. After the Holy Grail War and Hakuno at threat of deletion; not to mention the long and gruelling battle over SE.RA.PH and the fate of the world, the omniscient Moon Cell was now a glorified cook book! Hakuno looked on strangely as he finished laughing.
'Master? What is it?' asked Archer.
She shook her head and smiled. 'It's nothing.'
'It's admirable you're going to all this effort for Saber and Caster– would you like some help?' asked Archer.
'No that's fine!' She replied shakily, waving off his offer. 'I've actually got someone helping me.'
'Oh.' He found himself disappointed– guess he'll have to wait another day to cook there. 'Who did you get?'
'Master, I have returned.'
Nameless instantly recognised the regal and powerful presence behind him. It was none other than the King of Knights. Her golden hair was still tightly up in an elegant bun but she had abandoned her knightly attire, opting for a very familiar blue skirt and elegant white blouse. Her face was hidden behind an enormous, unknown lump of mass that she carried, which was concealed by a giant white cloth.
'The King of Knights? In the kitchen? I'm having some serious flashbacks,' muttered Archer. Saber replied to his sarcasm with a firm glare, setting down the concealed bundle on a countertop with a loud thud, and Hakuno's eyes grew wide.
'Woah!'
'I had Sir Gawain procure these ingredients for us– these should prove most sufficient in our endeavours today,' Artoria spoke with a kingly pride. From underneath the cloth a single potato fell to the floor.
'Are you sure it's the cooking you're helping with?' Archer asked. 'Not the meal that comes at the end?'
Saber fought back another glare, instead opting to close her eyes. 'It is important for a Servant to bond with their Master.' And with a gentle smile she added, 'and it is nice to have some time to simply get to know each other.'
Archer quizzically raised his eyebrow. 'I think we all know how familiar you are with food, Saber. But preparing it is an entirely different story.'
'Wait... you don't know how to cook? But you love food so much!' Hakuno exclaimed. Archer bit his tongue; he didn't want to point out that this was also Hakuno's first time.
Artoria's expression remained confident and stoic. 'A king has no need to. My attendants provided for me daily. They desired to cook for me– how could I refuse such a heartfelt request?' Archer stayed silent; he couldn't argue with that. 'I have mastered some of the most complicated arts and forms in existence. This is just another obstacle we shall overcome together, Master.'
'Yeah!' said Hakuno cheerily; clearly the charisma emanating from the King of Knights had an effect on her. On the battlefield, Hakuno and this Top Servant made for a superbly formidable duo. Archer had no doubt they would be just as intimidating in the kitchen– if for entirely different reasons. Hakuno reached for a nearby stovetop, before stopping confused. 'Um, how do you–?'
Archer snickered; he began to walk over when Saber put out her hand dismissively. 'We have no need of your assistance here Nameless Archer– you may leave.' Artoria shot Hakuno a direct look, silently communicating with her.
'Y-yeah. We'll be fine here, thanks,' Hakuno said hesitantly– what were they planning exactly?
'Well, if it's from the great King of Knights, then what could go wrong?' Archer said under his usual tone of sarcasm. 'Surely you don't mind me sitting in and watching the Moon Cell's finest at work?'
'O-oh, I guess... I can't stop you.' Hakuno began to fiddle with the stove top when a loud cough from Archer distracted her. She stopped. '… We should… prepare everything first?'
'A wise decision Master– Preparation is just as important here as it is on the battlefield,' Saber stated. So the kitchen was a war zone now? Archer remained on the frontline, watching his Master grab a knife. She began to chop the carrots very, very slowly. Archer held back his laughter as he watched her hunched over, close to the chopping board and meticulously double checking every cut she made.
'Oh!' Hakuno realised. 'We need to wash the rice!'
'Allow me!' said Saber. Into the pot she put in one cup of rice.
Two cups.
Three cups.
Four. Five. Six–
'Hmm, needs more.'
'I lost count after 17!' Hakuno shrieked, and Archer doubled over in silent fits of laughter.
'I'm sure it won't go waste. What's next, Master?'
'Oh. Um…' The Regalia glowed again and Hakuno walked over to the pan. 'We start to fry everything.' She was about to drop in the vegetables when Archer coughed again. She froze in thought. Hesitantly she reached for the cooking oil, and looked back at Nameless. He nodded, and she continued on. 'Oh, wait– do we have any pork to add?'
Saber grinned excitedly, as if waiting for that question. She strode over to the large concealed mass she carried in earlier. 'In addition to Sir Gawain's assistance, I also acquired Cu Chulainn's help in obtaining the freshest pork–.' With one swift motion Artoria pulled off the white sheet, revealing an entire boar.
Hakuno shrieked. 'How the hell do we use this?! It's still hairy!' Even Archer's eyes widened in shock.
'Only the best for such an occasion– but I do see your point.' A rush of wind gushed past Hakuno and she noticed an invisible force materialise into Saber's hand. Instantly Hakuno dropped everything and hastily leaped back towards a defensive Archer.
'I will show you my royal prowess, no matter the enemy.' In a swift and powerful stroke, Saber struck the boar, cleaving it, and the countertop in two. She threw down her sword again, and both Hakuno and Nameless were forced to shield their eyes from the chaos that was Chef Artoria. After minutes of endless hacking and what sounded like a war cry, finally, there was silence. Hakuno dared to open an eye.
'This shall be a feast to remember!' Saber exclaimed as she looked on proudly at her achievement– a single slab of meat remained, miniscule in comparison to its former form. Nameless switched from looking at the decimated boar meat, to the remains of the kitchen that didn't survive Saber's assault.
'… Please don't ever quit your day job,' said Archer.
Saber dusted herself off, removing her apron. 'That's almost everything ready Master. I shall go set the table.' She strode off, leaving a stunned Hakuno and Nameless alone in the aftermath. There was a hot pan with nothing cooking; a pot filled with a mountain of rice, and steadily expanding, and half a kitchen that looked shredded from a tornado. Hakuno breathed deep– who knew cooking was this complicated?
'I don't think I ever want to cook again…' Hakuno muttered. Archer sighed– he couldn't stand by anymore.
'I think you'd enjoy it. Cooking's usually not so… chaotic.' He turned down the stove to a gentle heat and turned casually back to his Master. 'But if you wanted to learn, you probably should have chosen Tamamo, or Nero, or myself.'
'…But then it would have been pointless.'
'Master?' asked Archer, confused.
'This was meant to be for you guys. As a surprise,' said Hakuno. 'Even the King of Knights was in on it– that's why she didn't want you around.'
'Me?' Archer asked surprised.
'Of course,' said Hakuno. Silence filled the kitchen for the first time that day as Hakuno took a moment. 'You said something once, about cooking. You said that meals aren't for the chef; they're for the person you make it for. I wanted to make something for you. You've been around just as much as Nero and Tamamo; you're just as important to me.'
Archer's heart pounded. He tried to find the right words, and failed. Her blunt attitude was a trademark of sorts; no matter what world he found himself in, he could never win against that. She was never one to lie, but to be so open and honest about that? To think of him like that? Warmth spread through him, accompanied by a familiar sentiment, and he caught her staring strangely at him again.
'What is it, Master?'
She shook her head. 'You just seem happy, that's all.'
'I guess so,' he said, and smiled. '... How about we both try this again?'
'Yes please!'
Archer grabbed a knife and began to work, and Hakuno watched him enthusiastically. In the doorway stood the King of Knights, and she watched on with a gentle smile… and a rumbling stomach.
'That's looking pretty good Master,' Archer said, 'you might have some potential after all.'
'Really? Do you think I could run a restaurant someday?'
'Maybe… in another lifetime.'
Tiny specks of white snow drifted over them, like the cherry blossoms from the city outside. Wait… not snow…
'… AH! The rice!'