Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You put your earbuds in as you start to jog, zipping up your jacket as you go. You can feel the chill today, it's cold out. You take a left, heading towards a park you jog through regularly. As you go through the gate of the park you focus your mind on the music playing in your ears and let your legs carry you.

It’s mid autumn and the red, oranges and yellows of the leaves on the trees make this the best time of year for a run in the park. It’s quiet too, not a lot people use it. That’s why you like it. The beauty and peaceful nature of it helps you to get excited to exercise.

You’re so engrossed in the music it takes you several minutes to notice that the park is entirely empty. A small bit of anxiety twists your stomach as you realise and you jog to a stop, yes not many people use it, but at this time you’d usually see at least two or three others. You pull out one of your earbuds and look around. A feeling of danger-dread-leave crawls up your spine and you find yourself rooted to the spot. The wind picks up, whistling through the trees, you feel like you’re being watched.

You swear you can hear a distant whisper on the wind, but can’t make out what it’s saying.

The wind picks up further until it’s billowing through the trees, whipping past you, the whistle is so shrill you can’t even hear the music still playing in one earbud. A sudden gust of wind hits you like a tidal wave and knocks you off your feet, you lose consciousness before you even hit the ground.

When you regain consciousness you find yourself standing up. You blink. And blink again. You feel terribly disoriented. Weren't you just-? You look around.

You’re inside now? In...a bedroom?

You’re in a modest bedroom that’s a little cluttered, and the curtains are drawn. There isn’t much light in the room but you can make out the pale blue colour of the walls and the red of the sheets on the bed.

Something catches your eye, a mirror. You look into it and then stare in confusion at the lack of reflection. Where are you? You’re looking at it from the right angle…

You glance down at yourself and gasp in shock, hand flying up to your mouth to contain a scream. It feels wrong to make noise in this unfamiliar bedroom, but your worry is immediately lost to the horror you feel as you pull your hand back from your mouth to look at it.

It’s translucent. You can see through your hand, you glance back down, and so its the rest of your body.

You can see the carpet through your shoes.

You feel a little nauseous.

What the fuck is happening?

How?

You were in the park-

Wait you fell does that mean-

Oh god are you dead?

Please no-

Are you a ghost?!

The absurdity of the thought shocks you out of the spiral you were in. 

You don’t get much time to think about it because the door to your right, the one the mirror is hanging on, opens.

A man in a towel steps into the room, steam billowing behind him. It takes him a moment to see you.

He screams.

He flies backwards, back quickly finding the far wall.

He stares at you with wide eyes.

He’s dripping wet and covered only with a towel, his hair is pushed back off of his face in a way that looks good on him. 

His expression is one of terror.

You should probably do something to reassure him…?

“I’m not going to hurt you.” You say quietly. 

The man continues to stare at you in alarm.

You get a little desperate as the insanity of the situation sets in.

“Look I have no idea how I got here, where here is, or why I’m…” You grimace, “Like I am. One minute I was taking a jog and the next…” You gesture around you helplessly.

The man still says nothing, but seems to relax the slightest bit. His expression of fear and incredulity don’t lessen, but his shoulders lower slightly.

“My name is Y/N,” You say with the closest thing to a smile you can manage right now, “I really have no idea how I got here and I’m honestly freaking out quite a bit right now. Could you tell me...where I am exactly?” You try sound light and friendly, hoping to get the man to relax further.

“Detroit,” The man says, his english has a slight accent to it, “and more specifically my bedroom.”

You flush at that.

“Right, sorry I...I just appeared here. And before I could figure out what had happened you walked in.” You apologise.

The man gives a hesitant nod.

“You’re in a towel.” You say uselessly, before realising the blatant way you said it and you flush.

“I’ll uh...I’ll just,” You turn and look for an exit, you spot a door behind you, “I’ll just step outside so you can…” You gesture at him vaguely, too embarrassed at having seen a stranger so close to naked to finish the sentence.

You turn and try to grab the handle but your hand goes through. You stare down at it.

You glance back at the man, he’s still watching you with trepidation.

“Right I don’t seem to be able to ...I'll just have to step through the door. Because that’s perfectly normal .” You say with an edge of hysterics.

You step through to the other side, there’s no sensation to it, everything just goes dark for a moment and then you’re on the other side of the door.

A combination lounge, kitchen and dining area greets you. It’s small but cozy, it looks lived in. You notice two other doors but decide now isn’t the time to go snooping through someone else’s apartment.

So instead you walk around the room, looking at things, waiting for the man to emerge from his room. 

You half wonder why you haven’t just left already, you could. But with how you’re looking you’re not sure how others might react to seeing you. And if you’re being honest with yourself you’re a little afraid of that. The man at least, hadn’t reacted terribly. He hadn’t reacted well, but who would react well to a ghost appearing in their bedroom?

A few minutes later the door to the bedroom opens. The man’s eyes immediately find you and his shoulders sink slightly.

“I’d hoped I’d imagined it.” He says.

You give a weak laugh.

“And here I was hoping I was dreaming.” You joke, it sounds less confident then you intend, but the corner of the man’s mouth does lift.

“So…” He says.

“So.” You tease.

He sighs in a long suffering way that tells you he hears that kind of teasing on a highly regular basis.

“You said you were jogging and then just...” He doesn’t finish his question.

“Yes, I was taking a jog through a favourite park, the wind picked up so fast I suddenly found myself being bowled over by it. I never hit the pavement though,” You’re brows furrow at the memory, “Before I could land on my ass I suddenly found myself standing in your bedroom looking like ...a ghost.” You hesitate on the word ghost, like saying it makes this insane situation real. As if looking at your hand hadn’t already made it real enough.

“Do you think you died?” The man asks quietly.

“I don’t think so? I mean I would have had some serious bruising, but the wind wasn’t that bad.” You say.

“Right, then how…?” He doesn’t seem to know how to finish his sentence.

Neither do you.

“I have no idea. At this point the best thing to do would be research I guess. Except I can’t fucking touch anything.” You hiss in frustration.

“I can help.” The man doesn’t seem particularly happy about the offer, but he’s the only ally you’ve got.

“Thank you,” Your eyes soften, “I’m sorry to have to dump this on your lap when we don’t even know each other. I mean I don’t even know your name.”

“Yuuri,” He says as he walks back into his room, reappearing a moment later with a laptop in hand, “And you said you’re Y/N?”

He sits down at the table and opens the laptop.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You expect to slip through the chair as you try to sit down next to him but luck must be on your side as you find yourself able to sit down on it.

“It’s nice to meet you Yuuri.” You say as he stares a little wide eyed  at you sitting next to him.

You don’t find much. The internet doesn’t know what you are or how you happened. There’s plenty of made up rubbish about ghosts, most of it the same or actively conflicting with other information. Which isn’t really surprising per say, but you’d hoped there would be some kind of explanation.

You’re adamant that you’re not a ghost in the traditional sense, you didn’t die by being blown over by a gust of wind . You’d never live down the shame. Somewhere in your head the absurd nature of that thought registers but you don’t dwell on it as the apartment door handle rattles and the sound of keys can be heard. 

There’s no chance for either you or Yuuri to figure out an escape plan before the door opens and another man walks in. He looks a little younger than Yuuri, a few years maybe.

“Yuuri! Practice was terrible, Celestino wouldn’t let up for even a minute. This is your fault you know, everyone knows that you’re going to qualify for the GPF this year, and he’s working us all harder for it.” The man acts as if he can’t see you at all, eyes only on Yuuri.

Yuuri stares at him, glancing at you and then back.

“Yuuri? You look nervous, what’s wrong?” The man comes over to the table.

Yuuri quickly closes the tab with all of your research into ghosts and other supernatural phenomenon. 

The man leans around Yuuri trying to look at his screen, Yuuri shies away but the man gets a glance at the empty desktop and gives Yuuri a mischievous smile.

“What were you looking at Yuuri?” The man teases.

He leans down to face level with Yuuri.

“Were you staring at pictures of Viktor Nikiforov again?” The man smirks.

“Phichit!” Yuuri says scandalised.

“It’s okay Yuuri, it’s perfectly natural to spend some quality time with pictures of your idol. There’s no shame in it.” He says in a serious tone that is ruined by his grin.

“It wasn’t like that, I don’t...I don’t do that to pictures of Viktor.” Yuuri’s face is flaming and his voice is shaky. 

He doesn’t make a convincing defence.

You kind of feel sorry for the guy, you’ve known him all of an hour and a half and you’ve already almost seen him naked and found out who his crush is.

“I don’t believe youuuu!” The man whose name must be Phichit sings as he heads for the third door in the room. He opens it, going in and closing it behind him. You assume it’s his bedroom then. As soon as the door closes you meet Yuuri’s eyes at the same moment he meets yours.

“He can’t see me.” You say grimly. Earlier you were afraid of how others would react to seeing you, but now with the thought that maybe no one except Yuuri can see you, you’re feeling a whole lot worse.

Yuuri nods.

“I’ve got to find out if anyone else can see me.” You say, you need to know.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” Yuuri replies apprehensively.

“Yuuri I’ve got to know, I’ll be careful. And…” You hesitate as you stand, glancing down at him, “I’ll come back.” You don’t phrase it as a question but you’re not really sure if you’re welcome back or not.

“Please do.” Yuuri says.

You relax slightly at the confirmation, you nod and walk over to the door Phichit just entered the apartment from.

You take a deep breath and step through it.

Having only one person able to see and hear you is incredibly boring. Not being able to go more than several hundred meters away from said person, is even worse .

You remember discovering that you were tethered to Yuuri one day when you tried to explore more of Detroit. After a certain point, the further away from him you got the more you faded. You’d only noticed once you could barely see your own outline at all.

Since that day you’ve stayed somewhat close to him at all times. You aren’t sure what would happen if you got too far away, but the thought of disappearing entirely scares you enough not to try it.

With a lot of testing you’ve found that you can explore a decent bit of his college campus without getting too far from him and have taken to sitting in on different classes that interested you while he’s busy.

You’ve also learnt a lot about Yuuri himself since this whole thing started. Knowing that he was born and raised in Japan has led you to sit in on as many of the first year language classes as you can in hopes of learning his native language, but you’d found them lacking and Yuuri had eventually taken to setting up a playlist of language teaching videos for you before leaving for class each day.

You appreciate him doing that for you, as you might lose your mind out of boredom otherwise.

You have also learned that Yuuri is a world class figure skater, and you had to learn it from his coach in practice because the man hadn’t thought to tell you himself. Damn modestly.

He’s is very good, you think as you watch him. Even if his jumps are inconsistent.

Watching him practice makes you miss being corporeal more than anything else, as you wish you could be out there on the ice, learning to skate, it looks like a lot of fun.

He practices on the ice for hours every day and spends the rest of his time studying. You’re not sure how he does it, but he does it. Yuuri and Phichit split the days of the week on who has to cook. Both of them know some delicious sounding recipes. After a few days you stopped standing or sitting in the main room when they eat dinner as having to look at the food while being unable to eat lowers your mood too much.

Yuuri trains and trains and trains until his feet bleed.

You watch him at both of his qualifying events from behind the boards, he doesn’t do brilliantly at either of them but Yuuri makes the cut. He’s going to the Grand Prix Final in Sochi.

Chapter Text

“Yuuri…" You’re not entirely sure what to say. 

You watch him pick up another glass of champagne and drink it. That’s his... tenth? Oh god.

You know he takes losses hard, and you understand, you really do. Losing at an event that big, it’s crushing but…

You watch him down his eleventh.

...That doesn’t make this a good idea.

“Yuuri please mingle, talk to someone you know. You mentioned knowing Christophe, please go and talk to him instead of standing here and slowly drinking yourself to death.”

He shotguns his twelfth glass as you speak, and then picks up his thirteenth.

“Yuuri, please .” You’re starting to worry if he doesn’t slow down he really will give himself alcohol poisoning.

With the news of his dog Vicchan dying and his subsequent failing of his Free Skate you’re worried he’s in a bad enough place right now that maybe he won’t stop.

And with Celestino nowhere to be found Yuuri could get himself in serious trouble. It’s not like you can ask anyone for help.

You wish more than ever that you were corporeal at this moment so you could slap the fourteenth glass from his hand.

He drinks two more, your pleas falling on deaf ears, before finally stopping.

As you watch the alcohol starts to really take effect, Yuuri pulls at his tie, loosening it. He walks away from the drinks table, thank god , and heads into the crowd. 

He’s not walking straight in the slightest, but he makes it all the way over to where Viktor Nikiforov and Yuri Plisetsky are speaking, or standing, you aren’t sure as you weren’t exactly paying attention to them before. What you are sure of is that Yuuri is speaking to an increasingly irate looking Yuri.

You head over to find out what mess Yuuri is drunkenly getting himself into, not that you’ll be much help.

As you make your way towards the group both Yuris step way from Viktor and walk to the centre of the room. Yuri Plisetsky is clearing a space big enough to... 

A sense of foreboding fills you.

The music changes and that sense of foreboding becomes a mix of dread and amusement. Yuuri is definitely going to be embarrassed in the morning about getting into a dance battle in front of all these people, but he’s far too drunk to listen to reason at this point.

So you do the only thing you can do, you stand back and watch the entertainment.

Yuuri wipes the floor with the Junior Gold Medalist, which you feel pretty good about. That kid was pretty awful to him in the bathroom. And this is really the only kind of payback you can condone, Yuri Plisetsky is a child after all.

The music changes from the more upbeat and aggressive song that played for the dance off to something more suited to actually dancing to.

Yuuri is making his way over to Viktor...you hope he’s not about to make more of a fool out of himself in front of his idol. He’ll never forgive himself, or you, for not stopping it. As if you have any power to stop any part of what’s happening right now.

Oh, he appears to have asked Viktor to dance, like properly dance.

You watch them dance their way somewhat awkwardly through the first song. Only truly relaxing into each other by the second. Viktor is laughing and Yuuri is smiling as they dance their way across the floor, Yuuri occasionally wobbling a little. You wish you could take a photo of them, there is something raw and genuine about the carefree look in their eyes as they dance together.

You’d been mostly focused on Yuuri from the point he started drinking, but before that you’d taken note of the other skaters, Viktor included. He had looked...bored, very bored. 

He doesn’t look the slightest bit bored now, he looks flushed and excited. Something in you softens at the expression. Viktor has always looked like this untouchable celebrity in interviews and photos that you’ve seen. But here, he looks like a real person, having fun dancing with a stranger.

The two of them dance for another few songs. As the fifth draws to a close you notice Christophe Giacometti is making his way over to Yuuri, this cannot be good. They speak, and Chris gives Yuuri a downright salacious smirk.

Oh no, Yuuri did lose a few articles of clothing in the dance off and now seems intent to lose the rest of them.

It’s not good, Yuuri is setting up to... pole dance with Chris in his shirt and underwear. This night has taken a turn. Yuuri is really going to regret some of this in the morning. But you don’t know what to do other than stand back and watch in abject horror.

The pole dancing doesn’t last as long as Yuuri’s dance with Viktor thankfully, and by the end he seems… not in the best shape. Sixteen glasses of champagne , a voice in your head reminds you.

You’re contemplating how to get him out of there when Nikiforov walks over to him from the place he had taken up in the crowd of spectators. You head over too, making it there just as Yuuri throws himself on Viktor. He’s talking to Viktor and you catch the tail end of it.

“Please be my coach Viktor!” You want to sink into the floor out of secondhand embarrassment. 

But for all your fear of Viktor rejecting Yuuri’s out of the blue and very bold request, he just stares down at the shorter man, eyes sparkling as a blush spreads over his face.

Well that’s...unexpected.

Perhaps that dance had an effect on him...

You snap back to reality the same moment that Chris starts shepherding Yuuri out of the banquet hall. Right, Yuuri looks like he’s about to collapse, or be sick, maybe both.

You follow Chris out into the hall, Viktor joins you both as Yuuri is still stuck to him like a limpet.

“Take him back to his room, I’ve got a room full of skating officials and sponsors to deal with.” Chris says to Viktor.

Viktor gives him a sharp nod and Chris goes back into the banquet hall, putting his shirt on as he goes.

Viktor slings one of Yuuri’s arms over his shoulders and then looks directly at you.

“Do you know Yuuri? I could use some help getting him back to his floor.” He says to you.

To you .

You blink for a long moment, unable to process someone other than Yuuri acknowledging your existence. 

And how can he see you?!

His brow starts to furrow at your lack of response, bringing your brain back online.

“Sorry yes, he’s a friend of mine I came to support him at the GPF.” The half lie, half truth spills from your mouth as you walk to Yuuri’s other side and lift his arm onto your shoulders.

You nearly drop him in surprise. You… lifted his arm! Holy shit! What on earth is going on, being seen by someone other than Yuuri, actually touching something...

“Good, do you know his floor then? I’m afraid I do not.” Viktor’s words bring you back to the present again. Right, act like being seen and being able to touch things is a normal everyday occurrence in front of the man who doesn’t know you only half exist.

“Yes, he’s on the seventh floor, room 203. He should have his card on him, if he hasn’t managed to lose it with half of his clothes.” You say sardonically.

Viktor huffs a laugh as the two of you carry Yuuri to the elevator. Once inside, Viktor reaches out and presses the button for the seventh floor. Neither of you speak as the elevator rises. You’re too focused on not freaking out to think of anything to say.

The elevator dings and you heft Yuuri out with the help of the figure skater. Thankfully 203 isn’t far from the elevator you got in and it only takes a minute to reach the door to his room. You fish out the door key and unlock the door with one hand. You push it open and the two of you carry him in.

Once you and Viktor have deposited Yuuri on his bed Viktor turns to you.

“I have to get back to the banquet and help Chris deal with everyone, will you watch him?” You blink in surprise at the care the man shows for someone he’s only just met.

A crush then.

“Yeah, I’ll keep an eye on him.” Viktor nods and leaves without another word.

But he does glance at Yuuri one last time before he goes. You can’t quite decipher his expression in the low light, but if you had to guess you’d say he looked like he didn’t quite believe that Yuuri could exist.

You’re not sure what to do with the knowledge that figure skating legend Viktor Nikiforov has developed a crush on Yuuri in the span of a night because the two of them danced while Yuuri was blackout drunk. But you decide to stow it away for now and get to work getting Yuuri prepped for sleeping in a bed.

You take off Yuuri’s suit jacket, shoes and tie that he’d re-acquired as you exited the banquet hall, so he can sleep a little more comfortably. Once he’s half decent for a bed you run over to his laptop. After a moment’s hesitation, you press the on button. 

The button depresses and you let out a shaky breath. Now that all the chaos has passed you can’t quite believe that you’re solid, that you’re real enough to touch things.

The computer turns on and you get to work, logging the new information in the document the two of you have compiled

After that you decide to get up and just...touch some things. Maybe it’s a little pathetic but it’s the first time you’ve been able to actually interact with the world around you. You think about making yourself a coffee in the small kitchenette but decide against it, unsure what the rules of this really are. Usually you can’t eat or drink, not that you need to, so maybe it’s best not to rush into trying either of those things.

You sit down and watch some videos online to pass the time, solid or not you still don’t seem to be tired, as the hours wear on you notice your hands growing more and more transparent. You won’t deny that you feel a spike of disappointment when you first notice it. You’d hoped that it was permanent.

Getting to experience what it’s like to actually be alive again, even just for the night, brought back the ache in your chest tenfold. Now with the memory of what it’s like fresh in your mind you really miss it.

By the time morning rolls around you’re back to your normal translucent self, and you can no longer press the keys on Yuuri’s laptop.

You hear a groan from the bed and look over to see Yuuri waking up, thankfully you thought to grab Yuuri a glass of water and some painkillers while you could still pick them up because you’re sure he has a killer headache right now.

Yuuri goes back to Detroit to finish his degree, and you watch him retreat further into himself over time. At first you let him, he’s grieving the death of a beloved pet and suffering the shame of a bad loss, but as time goes on it gets worse, not better.

 He never mentions the banquet, and you decide to respect that he does not want to talk about it. So you don’t tell him about what happened with Viktor on the way back to his room. Not about how you could move things again or the way Viktor looked at Yuuri.

He still talks to you everyday, but he is more closed off than ever, more so than even the first day you met him. It’s saddening to watch him wilt like this.

One night he stays up all night on his laptop and in the morning he gets up, bags under his eyes, and goes to the rink, you follow him in silence, unsure of what’s changed in him to get him to stay up all night.

At this early hour of the morning the skating rink is empty. Yuuri skates lazily for a few minutes warming himself up, and then he skates to the boundary and picks up his phone. He clicks something and music begins to play.

You jolt in surprise as you recognise the music from Viktor’s FS. 

Yuuri skates around the rink, imitating Viktor’s routine, you didn’t see all of it but Yuuri is definitely copying it from memory. So that’s what he watched all night.

Yuuri is exhausted and unfamiliar with the routine, so he falls on most of the jumps, even though he downgrades them all to doubles and triples. But despite that, despite that you can see it forming before your eyes. With some practice, you know Yuuri will be able to skate it perfectly.

That doesn’t stop him from bombing Nationals though.

You’re surprised that doesn’t send him further into his shell, if anything it seems to focus him more. He studies harder, and spends more and more time practicing Viktor’s routine. At some point you start giving him bits of advice when he’s practising, as he does it when the rink is empty.

Yuuri finishes his degree and calls it quits with his coach. It’s time for him to go home, and you have no choice but to go with him. You’re excited to see some of Japan for the first time.

He says goodbye to Phichit, and the two of you are soon on a plane. Not that you’re paying for your seat.

Hasetsu is a beautiful place, you decide on your first day in the town. And Yuuri’s family are warm and kind people. You’re glad Yuuri is back with them. But you do wish you could meet them properly.

Despite his overall low mood, it's not all awkward silences or stilted conversations between you. When you first enter his old bedroom and see the many, many Viktor Nikiforov posters you burst out laughing. Yuuri buries his face in his hands and bears the shame.

You watch him skate Stay Close To Me for his childhood friend Yuuko and marvel at how much Yuuri has improved at it in the last several weeks.

Later, you kick yourself for not noticing the three kids recording it.

Yuuri is sleeping in his room right now and you're hanging out in the communal space. It's nice to have other people to watch while he's asleep. When Yuuri is asleep you rarely have anything to do. You're listening in on a conversation between two guests trying to translate the rapid japanese in your head when the front doors open.

Your breath catches in your throat as you stare at Viktor Nikiforov stepping into Yu-topia’s entryway.

Chapter Text

“Yuuri!” You call urgently as he steps towards the door. He glances at you covertly, aware of the other people in the room who can’t see you.

“You won’t believe who showed up…” You trail off as Viktor’s dog bowls Yuuri over, licking his face.

“Vicchan?” He cries in surprise.

Something in your chest twists.

“Makkachin.” You answer quietly.

Yuuri’s head whips to look at you outright, no longer caring for what anyone else might see.

“He looks just like Vicchan don’t you think? He belongs to a foreign guest who just arrived.” Yuuri’s father says as he passes.

Yuuri’s eyes widen impossibly far.

“Viktor is in the onsen.” Is all you manage to say before Yuuri is bounding off towards the hot springs.

You hesitate for just a moment and then sprint after him, causing significantly less of a commotion as you go.

Yuuri pushes through the door to the onsen just ahead of you, the doors swing back and you flinch briefly on instinct as you run through them, not feeling a thing as they slam back into place behind you.

Yuuri is staring at a very naked Viktor Nikiforov muttering to himself quietly in japanese, it’s too soft and fast for you to catch.

Yuuri seems rather surprised to see Viktor since the man had not said no when Yuuri asked him to be his coach, but then his anxiety and self-doubt had probably led him to believe Viktor would never accept.

Oh god, Viktor is standing up, he’s noticed Yuuri. You try not to stare at… things .

“Yuuri, starting today I’m your coach. I’ll make you win the Grand Prix Final.” he says with a wink, standing naked in the onsen . 

Have you mentioned that Viktor is standing there naked? You’re not sure.

“Huh?!” Yuri shouts.

Again, a strong reaction considering Yuuri asked for this to happen. The man really does have crippling self-doubt huh?

Maybe he’s still not ready to face what he did at the banquet, he hasn’t brought it up once since it happened.

Viktor gets out of the onsen, and (finally) puts on a towel, once he’s dried and dressed in one of the guest robes he inhales some food and promptly passes out. How romantic. 

Doesn’t Viktor know that second impressions matter just as much as first impressions? Or maybe he counts what just happened in the onsen as his second impression, that or he’s… teasing Yuuri for the banquet. 

Not that Yuuri seems amused. He looks downright confused and a little terrified. Childhood idol, right. You remember all the posters in his room and let out a wheeze. Yuuri’s eyes flash for a second but he doesn’t react beyond that.

You suppose that he had been very drunk last time they interacted, which was sure to remove any and all nerves from the equation.

Minako, Yuuri’s ballet instructor, shows up and explains that Viktor is indeed here to coach Yuuri (as if that needed reiterating) and that he’s taking the next skating season off to consider his next move.

Oh, he saw the video of Yuuri skating Stay Close To Me, maybe it was for the best that you didn’t catch the triplets then.

Yuuri is very...moved by Viktor’s appearance and his apparent motivations, that’s the best way to put it. Yeah, definitely a crush on the russian.

You idly wonder if Viktor still has a crush on Yuuri as he seemingly did after the banquet. That was months ago, but then… he’s here isn’t he? 

Viktor wakes up and demands more food. 

He gets to try katsudon right in front of you, which is just the most unfair thing that’s ever happened in history. You definitely don’t go sulk in the corner of the room because of that. No, you’re sulking because everyone is ‘teasing’ bullying Yuuri about his weight again, and you can’t defend him. Okay well that is also a reason, but there’s still the katsudon.

One day, one day you’ll figure out how to reverse whatever the fuck happened to you and the first thing you’re going to do is try every dish served in Japan.

You follow Yuuri and Viktor as they go to unpack his stuff at a short distance, it’s not as if you can help out. And you’d rather eaves-drop on their conversation than anyone else’s.

Yuuri is apologising for the size of the room, that man is always apologising. If you bump into him, he’ll apologise.

The tone of the conversation changes and you war with yourself about whether you should listen in. Your nosy nature wins out and you step through the wall and watch from the corner of the room behind Viktor. And it’s not because you’re worried he might see you, it’s not .

“Tell me everything about you. What kind of rink do you skate at?” Viktor’s voice is low as his hand finds Yuuri’s chin.

You feel a slight shift and glance down to see your hand looking a little more opaque than usual. Yuuri doesn’t notice, he’s too engrossed in the worldwind that is Viktor Nikiforov.

“What’s in this city?” With a tone like that you’ve got to wonder if Viktor is trying to get Yuuri into his bed tonight.

“Is there a girl you like?” Ah, wrong question Viktor. From what you know of Yuuri at least, he doesn’t seem to like women.

Viktor’s other hand finds Yuuri’s and clasps it, yeah the russian is definitely trying to get Yuuri into bed.

Unfortunately for him…

“Before we start practising, let’s build some trust in our relationship.” Just as Viktor finishes outright propositioning Yuuri the japanese man throws himself away from Viktor.

...Yuuri is not the suave type. Or the sexually experienced type, for that matter.

Viktor seems put out as he watches Yuuri run away from him.

You walk through the wall into Yuuri’s room and find him back pressed to his closed bedroom door.

“Not what you expected?” You say into the silence.

Yuuri jumps a little at the sound of your voice, relaxing when he realises it’s just you.

He jumps much higher when Viktor comes knocking a few minutes later. ’Let’s sleep together’ really Viktor, Yuuri’s just not ready to be that close to you, and what a way to phrase that as well.

While furiously denying Viktor access to his room Yuuri notices his posters and frantically tears them all off of the wall. You hear Viktor leave before he’s even done. Yuuri stares down at the pile of pictures quietly.

You decide to give him a moment to himself, and peak your head back through the wall into Viktor’s room.

“He doesn’t want to sleep with us Makkachin.” He says grumpily.

Which is a little bit cute, you can’t deny.

Viktor begins to get ready for bed and you take your leave to give him privacy, finding Yuuri already in bed with the lights off staring out into space.

You look around at the barren walls.

“I liked the posters.” You whisper.

Yuuri’s eyes skate to you but he says nothing.

You sigh, you understand why but it’s tiring not having the only person you can have a conversation with respond to you.

“What will you do tonight?” You perk up at the question.

“Hmm, not sure. I was thinking of watching your performance of Stay Close To Me on a loop all night.” You smile at him.

Yuuri groans and buries his head in his pillow.

“Okay, okay, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind setting up that russian language playlist for me,” Yurri meets your eyes with something indecipherable on his face, “You can face the screen away from the bed and turn the sound down real low, I’ll find a position to get close to the headphone speakers…” You trail off.

“Sure.” Is all he answers, after a minute of silence.

Laptop in place, Yuuri returns to bed and turns the lights off.

“Thank you.” You say quietly.

Yuuri gives you a sleepy nod as he drifts off.

Watching Viktor skate at Ice Castle the next morning is something else. You can’t really describe it, his movements are so fluid, like water.

As the days wear on you follow Yuuri through his intense workouts in an effort to lose enough weight for it to be safe for him to skate again. You join him on his runs to keep him company, not that it’s actually exercise for you, but it’s nice to spend time with him.

You are going through your own gruelling experience though, yours is just not related to exercise.

Yuuri doesn’t know that his proximity to Viktor has some effect on how solid you are, which you’ve figured out is definitely (maybe) the case, by how much you’ve been shifting day to day, hour to hour. It’s a little exhausting to be honest, going from more solid to less to more again, and you’re hoping it won’t be like this for the entire time Viktor coaches Yuuri. That would be a nightmare honestly. You know it wasn’t like this the night of the banquet, but you haven’t quite figured out exactly why that is. You suspect it’s more complicated than just how physically close Yuuri and Viktor are.

Things get complicated when Yuri Plisetsky shows up in Hasetsu.

You don’t blame Yuri, not really, it’s Viktor’s fault for forgetting his promise. But Yuri is the one trying to drag Viktor back to Russia, which makes fear tighten around your heart. Viktor can’t leave, he’s the key to fixing you somehow, you know it, and in order for there to be any chance of that he has to stay on as Yuuri’s coach. And you don't want Yuuri to lose the chance to have Viktor as his coach. 

You don’t tell Yuuri about your fears, but you root all the harder for him, your support now taking on an edge of desperation.

The competition is ridiculous, and also terrifying. Can sober Yuuri even channel the kind of Eros that Viktor is asking for? 

It happens again in Yuuri’s practice with Yurio, Viktor is speaking quietly to Yuuri, right up in his space, and you’re sitting in the shadows by the edge of the rink. Now knowing what Viktor can do you don't dare to get any closer to the ice, and you don't want to distract Yuuri from his practice anyway by being too close.

As Viktor touches Yuuri and whispers to him, about his Eros, (how very straight of them both) you feel yourself becoming more solid for the hundredth time in the last month. You must pass some kind of threshold because you notice Yurio turn in your direction as if noticing you.

All you can think is ‘ oh god don't see me, don't see me, don't see me, please don't see me ’. 

And he doesn’t, his eyes pass over you as if you’re not there, a feeling you are use to. You’re not sure if it's something you did or if you’re not present enough for him to see you, but you file that away in your mind for later.

After practice is finished Viktor loudly tells everyone they’re all heading back to Yu-topia, both Yuris leave the rink and head for the locker room. Viktor skates to the edge of the ice and puts his guards on, but he doesn't follow them. He turns to look directly at you and walks over to the dark corner of the rink you’ve been watching from.

“You’re Yuuri’s friend from Sochi, aren’t you?” He says, to you.

You’re not sure why you’re surprised he can see you at this point, he seems to be breaking the patterns everyone else follows anyway. And you had half suspected he could, but he hasn’t addressed you until now...

“Yes” You reply simply.

“I’ve seen you around here, you follow Yuuri everywhere.” He replies.

You stare at him for a long moment, thinking about what to do. If he can see you pretty much all the time then…

No, he wouldn't believe you. 

"Yeah I've wanted to see Japan for a long time and Yuuri has had a hard time of things lately so I came home with him. He didn't even have a coach until you showed up so..." You shrug nonchalantly. 

Viktor studies you. 

"Are the two of you dating?" Viktor asks you point blank. 

"No! No, he's my friend," You shake your head, "We're not dating."

"Hmm." Viktor doesn't seem convinced. 

You have an idea.

No… you couldn't. Shouldn't.

But then Viktor does seem interested in Yuuri. Designing the Eros routine for him… 

"He's obsessed you, just if you're wondering." You say before you can regret it. You internally cringe and apologise to Yuuri. 

Viktor's eyes light up. 

"Really?" He asks, excitedly. 

"Yeah, he use to have posters of you on his wall." You want to smack yourself, why on earth did you say that. Yuuri is going to murder you later and you'll deserve it. 

"Posters…" Viktor says looking off into the distance, hearts in his eyes. 

"There are posters of Yuuri you know." You snap your mouth shut. What is with you and attractive strangers? You need to stop talking to Viktor. 

Viktor gets a look in his eye and pulls out his phone, tapping the screen furiously. You take the chance to escape the conversation while he's buying posters of Yuuri. 

"I do not have Eros." Yuuri groans into his pillow. 

"I mean you do look good with your hair slicked back for competitions, but you'll need more than that." You add helpfully. 

Yuuri lifts his head and gives you a look that says 'you're not helping'. 

"Viktor has been smiling at his phone all day, what if he's already getting bored of me and thinking about going back to Russia? What if he leaves before the competition?" Yuuri says quietly staring at his pillow. 

"He's not going to leave before the competition, at the very least, he seems too excited about it to leave without seeing it. And he's not on his phone because of anyone back in Russia." You say, hesitantly. 

Yuuri looks up at you, eyes narrowing. 

"Why do you know what he is doing on his phone? Are you stalking him because he's my coach? You can't stalk my coach!" Yuuri says indignantly. 

"Of course I'm not stalking him!" That wouldn't work, he can see you after all, "I just know because he was muttering about… buying posters." You trail off. 

"Posters of what?" Yuuri asks. 

"Confidence! That's what you lack, you need confidence to skate the Eros routine. That's pretty ingenious of Viktor, getting you to work on your biggest roadblock as a skater this early in coaching you." You try to change the subject. 

Yuuri gets up and stalks over to you. 

"Don't change the subject. What. Posters." Yuuri whispers stonily. 

"Well…" Yuuri's expression hardens further, "Did I mention that Yurio nearly saw me in your practice? Something changed and… Viktor saw me. So afterwards he uh…" You rub the back of your neck, avoiding Yuuri's eyes. 

"He asked who I was, I was honest saying we were friends and that I came to Japan with you. He asked some other questions, he assumed you and I were dating okay! I had to make it clear we weren't and then suddenly I was talking about the posters on your walls and.. and mentioning that there are posters of you out there online!"

Yuuri's expression looks deadly. Even though you're incorporeal you're terrified he's about to strangle you. 

Yuuri closes his eyes and breathes through his nose for a few minutes. 

When he opens his eyes he still looks pissed but you no longer fear for your non-life. 

"Why didn't you tell me they could see you?" He asks. 

Oh… he's going to let it go? 

"I… I felt more solid, solid enough that Yurio started to glance my way. I panicked and I think I managed to make him not see me somehow? I'm not sure… But I didn't do that for Viktor and I guess he noticed me at some point. I've been feeling more solid on and off these past few weeks since we arrived in Japan, he mentioned noticing me a few times."

Yuuri's eyebrows draw together, an expression of intense thought on his face. 

"Maybe something in Hasetsu is the answer, have you noticed anything specific that might be causing it?" 

There's a weight on your tongue. He still hasn't mentioned the banquet. And if he thinks Viktor is related somehow… the thing between them, whatever it is, won't develop the way it should. Yuuri will be too worried about you to let it be whatever it's going to be. 

"No, but I'll keep my eye out. Don't worry about it, focus on your skating Yuuri. Viktor is a once in a lifetime chance, you deserve to have him as your coach, you're a good skater. And he sees the potential for greatness in you." You raise your hands to his shoulders part way through your impassioned speech. You don't realise until you've finished speaking that your hands are touching Yuuri's shoulders. 

Yuuri stares at you in surprise. 

"You're hands…" He says. 

"Yeah…" You say a little breathlessly, it's the first time you've touched someone since the banquet. 

Yuuri moves and suddenly he's hugging you. Your heart shatters and heals in the same moment. The first real contact you've shared with another person in months. 

Tears form in your eyes. 

"We'll find whatever it is that's helping, we can search all of Hasetsu if we have to." You clutch Yuuri tighter at the words. 

"I don't think we need to," Yuuri's arms slacken in surprise, "Yuuri whatever happened to me, it brought me to you . I'm not big on destiny but… I think whatever the answer is it's to do with you. And I've become more solid since Viktor arrived." You reluctantly pull back from the hug and look him in the eyes. 

"You lack confidence, and I think, I think I've been sent here to help you in some way. And skating isn't just your career, it's something you've loved for a long time. I think if you reach your full potential with Viktor that maybe… it will help me." It's close to the truth, or close to what you're guessing is the truth. You want him to succeed, and you want him and Viktor to become something beautiful. 

Yuuri's eyes take on a determined look. 

"Then I'll skate with all I've got." He promises. 

"Wow Viktor at the Exhibition and prove to everyone that he should be your coach. I know you can do it." You reply. 

"I won't just win the Exhibition, I'll win the Grand Prix Final with Viktor as my coach!" He announces. 

You pull Yuuri back into a hug, feeling yourself solidify slightly. You're getting better at sensing subtle shifts. 

"Do it for yourself as much as anyone else Yuuri. If you're not loving what you do it's not worth a thing."

Yuuri settles back into the hug and the two of you stand there until Yuuri's hands pass through you ten minutes later. You step away from him a little sadly. 

"First you've got to find your Eros though." You say with a small smirk. 

"I have no Eros!" He says hopelessly. 

Yuuri is back on the bed groaning into his pillow a minute later. 

Chapter Text

You’re leaned up against the wall watching Yuuri, Yurio and Viktor eat dinner. Well Viktor is eating...Yuuri and Yurio look exhausted. Viktor worked both of them hard today, maybe too hard if Yuuri’s thousand yard stare is anything to go by.

Is he drooling?

“I get it now!” You flinch a little in surprise as he suddenly stands up.

“Pork cutlet bowls, that’s what Eros is to me!” He proclaims.

Seriously?!

You bite your lip so hard you nearly draw blood in an effort to contain your laughter.

Yuuri seems to realise what he’s just said, regret sinking into him.

Viktor tries to comfort him by giving a lukewarm agreement.

Yurio on the other hand doesn’t care about sparing Yuuri’s feelings and teases him non-stop for the rest of dinner.

Yuuri makes a hasty exist afterwards, citing a need to get a run in.

You sigh and kick off the wall, going to follow him. You can feel a pair of eyes following you and shrink a little under Viktor’s gaze. It’s weird having someone other than Yuuri looking at you, you’ve grown accustomed to no one else responding to you. You feel exposed whenever he looks at you.

The pork cutlet bowl finds its way into the actual routine practice, which is quite funny really. But you know it’s not the way Yuuri is actually going to find his Eros.

Yuuri is laying on his bed looking up at the ceiling, the competition is tomorrow and he still hasn’t found his Eros. You open your mouth to say something but he sits up and gets out of bed. He looks at you.

“I’m going out.”

You wonder what’s gotten into him.

You follow him to Minako’s studio, finding yourself with even more questions as he rings her doorbell. She doesn’t look thrilled to be answering the door at this time of night.

“You want to practice this late?” She asks sceptically and a little tiredly.

“Minako-sensei, I need you to teach me how to move like a woman.” Yuuri replies.

As you watch him practice with her your thoughts run a mile a minute. Yuuri told you about the story he sees in the choreography of the beautiful woman and the heartbreaker and how he didn’t think he could play the heartbreaker. Is he trying to play the woman instead?

You’ll find out if it works tomorrow, you suppose. 

The competition. Ice Castle Hasetsu is full to the brim with people, but you got there early so you have a spot on the boards.

Yurio is up first. He takes to the ice.

His routine is even better than in practice. Come on Yuuri , you think, find your Eros.

Shit, Yuuri looks rattled by how good Yurio’s performance was. His anxiety before competitions is always his downfall. You move towards him, planning to give him some support but Viktor beats you there.

They speak quietly to each other, and Yuuri envelops Viktor in a hug. 

Yuuri looks determined as he skates out to the centre of the ice. The music starts and Yuuri moves. He moves.

It’s not like in practice, his practices were more technical than anything else, this... well , it pulls you in. It’s erotic, for ice skating anyway. Just as Viktor intended. There’s a determination in his movements strong enough to be arrogant, to be confident . Yuuri is fighting, he’s refusing to lose.

The music speeds up and he hits the second half, the jumps begin. You bite your lip. He steps out of the salchow, you suck in a breath. It doesn’t ruin the flow of his performance though, that’s what matters.

He nails the last combo and goes into the spin at the end. You see someone move out the corner of your eye. Yurio is heading for the door.

Why is he leaving? They still have to judge…

Unless Yurio already knows Yuuri is going to win. Excitement and hope unfurl in your chest. Yuuri deserves to win, he’s brought this performance a long way in such a short time, you know he can take it so much further.

Yuuri’s performance ends and the cacophony of sound is deafening, but you ignore it, clapping and praising Yuuri as loud as your voice will allow.

Yuuri won, he won.

The announcer hands Yuuri a microphone, his eyes search the crowd from where he’s standing on the podium. They find you.

“I’m going to try to win the next Grand Prix Final with Viktor as my coach,” He says eyes never leaving yours, “Thank you for your continued support!” The words are edited for the cameras and audience but you see the warmth is his eyes and know that he’s talking to you.

When you’re both back in the privacy of his room later you finally congratulate him yourself.

“Well down Yuuri, that was amazing. I told you there was Eros in you!” You smile softly.

He smiles back.

“Thank you for believing in me, my anxiety makes skating hard sometimes, but with you and Viktor both behind me, it’s a little bit easier.” You smile widens.

“If I could hug you right now I would.” He raises his eyebrows and draws you into a warm hug.

“Oh.” You say.

He laughs.

“Don’t laugh, this is only the second hug I’ve had months.” You pout.

Yuuri holds you a little tighter for a second, then pulls away.

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t thought about it that way.”

“It’s alright. And tonight is about you anyway, you haven’t done any celebrating!”

Yuuri sighs.

“I’m too tired to celebrate after missing sleep last night, I just want to go to bed.” 

You both hear a pawing sound at Yuuri’s door followed by a soft whine. You go over to the door and open it to find Makkachin, who comes running into the room. You look over at Yuuri, who’s staring at the dog.

“Well it looks like you’ll have a companion tonight. If you’re gonna sleep I think I’ll head out, get some rest.” You say as you step out the door.

Yuuri is getting ready for bed after another gruelling day of practice, Viktor asked Yuuri about finding music for his FS earlier and Yuuri doesn’t seem to have many ideas.

Your eyes roam the room, as if looking for something to suggest. They fall on the stack of Viktor posters Yuuri took down when the man first arrived. You remember when you first asked Yuuri about Viktor back in Detroit before Sochi, months ago now.

“So who’s Viktor Nikiforov?” You ask Yuuri as he’s studying in his room one night.

Yuuri jerks away from the keyboard like he’s been electrocuted and turns to stare at you in disbelief.

“Why are you asking?” He asks with some amount of trepidation in his voice.

“Phichit mentioned him when I first arrived, teasing you about having a crush on him. I was just curious who he is.” You say casually. 

“H-He’s no one..” Yuuri stammers.

You raise an eyebrow. Yuuri deflates like a lead balloon.

“He’s the four times world champion figure skater, he’s considered a living legend.” Yuuri says like he’s reciting it directly from some article online. He probably is.

“So an idol then?” You guess.

Yuuri flushes. Jackpot.

“He...He was already skating when I first started, Yuuko a friend of mine told me about him. I saw some of his skating and it inspired me, I wanted to skate on the same ice as him one day.” Yuuri’s eyes look far away, as if he’s remembering a fond but old memory.

“Have you?” You know Yuuri is a world class figure skater, but he hasn’t made it to the final yet.

Yuuri shakes his head.

“If I qualify this year then I will at the final.” He doesn’t sound happy about it at all. Right, his anxiety.

“I believe in you Yuuri, I may not know much about figure skating but you’re a beautiful skater, that much I know. You’ll qualify. And then you’ll meet Viktor Nikiforov.” You say with as much conviction as possible. You know the words of others can’t get rid of Yuuri’s doubts, but you hope that enough voices might just start to drown them out a little.

“Thank you.” Yuuri says, a little shyly. It’s incredibly cute, and a little… no, none of that.

You give him a friendly smile.

Your reminiscing comes to a close and you return to the present, where you’re sitting on the floor and Yuuri is lying on his bed.

“Eros’s theme is love right?” You say. Yuuri rolls over to look at you.

"Sexual love specifically, but love nonetheless.” You clarify.

“Yes…” Yuuri says, not following your line of thought.

“Then your Free Skate should be about love as well. A different kind of love, maybe all the kinds even,” You see the posters in the corner of your eye again and a cheeky smirk finds its way onto your face, “It could be about your love for Viktor.”

Yuuri’s gives you a look that’s somewhere between embarrassment and irritation.

“No.” He says fervently.

“Oh come oooon, it would be perfect. And he’s clearly interested, he propositioned you twice on his first night here!” You declare.

A blush blossoms across Yuuri’s cheeks and he puts his face in his hands.

“Phichit has rubbed off on you.” He mutters despairingly.

“I’m right though, because unlike Phichit I’ve met Viktor and spent hours around him. I know a crush when I see one.” You insist.

Yuuri just groans and turns over. No matter what you say he doesn’t respond, he’s no fun, really. And you’re right anyway, Viktor is definitely interested, Yuuri’s just too blinded by his own self-doubt to see it.

Yuuri snaps at Viktor when he suggest Yuuri think of an ex-girlfriend in practice. Oops, maybe you overdid it last night with the teasing.

Yuuri apologises profusely and Viktor doesn’t seem offended, no harm done. But you mental write a reminder for yourself not to tease him so harshly again, clearly he’s not ready to face the truth yet. Baby steps for now, you’ll work up to that later.

Yuuri is avoiding Viktor at practically every turn today, and he does the same the next day, and the next.

“Yuuri you can’t avoid your coach!” You shout to the bundle of blankets shaking on the bed. It’s well past the time Yuuri should be at practice.

You hear footsteps coming towards the door and fade into the shadows of the room, focusing on not being seen. Not that it’s as hard as it was before, you’ve been fading somewhat these last few days.

The door flies open, it’s Viktor. He...doesn’t look pissed?

“Good morning Yuuri! Let’s go to the ocean.” He says brightly, as if Yuuri didn’t stand him up.

“Alright..” Yurri acquiesces. The expression of someone bracing for a painful experience melting away.

You decide to stay unseen. Following from a short distance and keeping your focus on Viktor not seeing you.

The ocean is beautiful, and you feel like you’re intruding on the conversation happening between Yuuri and Viktor. The revelation that Yuuri doesn’t like hugging confuses you, he’s hugged you twice now and he doesn’t like hugging? Maybe it’s something he’s only okay with when he initiates it.

Oh, he’s talking about love.

“What do you want me to be to you Yuuri?” Viktor asks. You’re starting to see that he’s just a straight-forward kind of guy who talks like this all the time.

“A father figure?”

“No.” Yuuri answers.

“A brother then? A friend?”

Yuuri gives a non-committal answer.

“You don’t need a boyfriend, you already have a romantic partner.” Viktor doesn’t say it like a question really, but he doesn’t say it like a statement either.

Yuuri jumps up, waving his hands in denial.

“No, no, no. Y/N is my friend! And I don’t want you to be any of that Viktor, I just want you to be yourself!”

His words resonate within you, there’s honesty there, and a lesson.

“I’ve always looked up to you. I ignored you because I didn’t want you to see my shortcomings. I’ll make it up to you with my skating!” He promises.

“Okay, I won’t take it easy on you then. That’s my way of showing my love.” Viktor replies.

They had some kind of breakthrough on the beach, if Yuuri’s furious typing is anything to go by. You sit back watching him, thinking. You’d deluded yourself into thinking that what you said to him about you being connected to him to guide and support him in his skating was true. Clearly it isn’t, you know hardly anything about skating, only the bits and pieces you’ve picked up these past months. Yuuri needs a coach like Viktor, the man isn’t perfect but he’s already shown he knows how to work with Yuuri’s weaknesses. 

Whatever has you tethered to Yuuri, it isn’t his skating. Or at least, that’s not all of it. Skating is so much of his life it can’t really be separated from any part of who he is. Including who he loves.

You think about Viktor. You’re pretty sure you’re supposed to be playing matchmaker for the two, Viktor is the one who can see you almost as often as Yuuri can, and it's his relationship with Yuuri that has an effect on you. Still, your misstep the other night has left you feeling unsure of yourself or your path. 

You’d appreciate if the cosmic force who’d done this to you had given you any instructions on what exactly it is that you’re supposed to be doing.

Still, you can’t be entirely mad. Your eyes land on Yuuri’s back again. You met him, and regardless of what happens, if this semi-corporeal mess gets fixed or not, you don’t want Yuuri to stop being a part of your life. He’s your friend, and a good one. The kind of one you want to hold onto.

Yuuri has his music. He’s going to be skating to a second piece about love. A smirk graces the barest edge of your lips, maybe your teasing had gotten through to him in the end. The piece is about Viktor, after all.

You were out when the Free Skate music arrived so you didn’t hear it that night. Instead you find yourself watching Yuuri’s practice from the boards, eagerly waiting to hear it.

‘On my love is my theme’, you don’t want Viktor to be your boyfriend my ass, you think to yourself.

The first piano notes play and your breath catches in your throat. It starts slow, but Yuuri’s movements are almost peaceful. He nails the first jump combo, it's only practice but it makes you smile.

The music swells and you find yourself standing on your toes, leaning forward, like Yuuri’s skating and the music is beckoning you. Like it’s a siren’s song, no… like it’s resonating in you. A question and answer all in the same note.

The last note fades out and you come back to yourself, realising you’re leaning over the boards, you step back, flushing in embarrassment. Oh god Yuuri and Viktor are both looking at you from across the rink, you flush further.

Viktor skates over to you.

“What did you think?” He asks, eyes searching.

“It was perfect…” You say without hesitation, then your brain registers and you backtrack, “I mean obviously he stepped out of the triple axel and the last jump was a little wobbly on the landing but…” You trail off at Viktor’s stare.

“It was perfect?” He suggests, a teasing smile.

You flush again.

“Yes.” Your eyes find Yuuri, he looks a little embarrassed as well.

“Wonderful! That’s exactly what I thought, though Yuuri what was that spin-” You tune out Viktor as he starts to tear apart every flaw in the program. You’re used to the harsh words, and you know that they just push Yuuri to work harder.

“Hey Yuuri, you still haven’t named this piece yet!” Viktor calls out as he takes the CD out of the player at the end of practice.

Yuuri takes out a pen and writes ‘Yuri On Ice’ on the disk.

“Perfect.” Viktor whispers.

Chapter Text

The regional championship. Yuuri’s first official competition since his Nationals, you would be lying if you said you aren’t a little worried about him. Still, it’s good that he’ll get to work his way up to his GP qualifier events, hopefully this will go well and give him the extra boost he needs for the Cup of China.

Yuuri wins, but you don’t know that you could say it goes well. Watching him slam into the wall and nearly break his nose gives you a heart attack. Things between Yuuri and Viktor are a little tense afterwards because Yuuri ignored his coach’s advice. You do you best to smile and clap when Yuuri is on the podium, even though you know he’s the only one who can see you right now.

Back in Japan you’re with Yuuri for his announcement of this season’s theme, standing off to the side leaning against the wall. The announcer who hands him the mic is speaking slowly enough that you are able to understand a few of the words he says.

You already know his theme is love, but the word stands out among the sea of words you can’t translate as Yuuri speaks. As the word passes through his lips you feel the shift start, you’ve been more transparent these past few days than you have been in weeks…

Yuuri continues to speak, you only catch a handful or words, skating, love, thanks. But as he speaks his tone changes and his voice gets louder, and you feel the wall you’re leaning on grow harder and more solid.

Yuuri mentions romantic love and you stand up in surprise. He makes an exclamation with his fist raised in the air, talking about the Final and winning. You smile a little at the sentiment, even if you don’t know everything he’s saying. You tell yourself you’ll find out about a translation of this in english later, to learn what he said. 

The room seems stunned at his proclamation and as Yuuri comes down from whatever high he was on that possessed him to say that, anxiety starts to creep into his expression. You can tell the exact moment he sees you out the corner of his eye because the anxiety recedes and he sheepishly hands the mic back to the presenter and steps to the back of the group.

Afterwards the two of you make your way to the train station. It’s late and the platform is empty.

“That was so embarrassing.” Yuuri moans into his hands.

“I didn’t understand all of it, but from what I got it seemed sweet.” You reply, sitting down next to him on the bench. You had to buy a ticket for the train, because the station’s staff actually saw you. Something you’re still reeling from.

“Everyone’s going to think I’m an idiot, Viktor especially.” Yuuri ignores your comment entirely. Rude.

“Viktor doesn’t speak a word of Japanese. I barely parsed what you were saying and I’ve been casually studying for months. He’s not going to know unless you tell him.” You argue.

“Someone probably translated for him already, and if they didn’t he’ll see it later when someone translates it online.” Yuuri has emerged from the cave of shame that was his hands and is now looking at you as he speaks. Progress.

“Distract him then, with skating or something else I don’t know. He’ll forget to check what you said then. Or just tell him some altered version of the truth.”

“I don’t want to lie to him, it’s not right.” Yuuri says quietly.

“Well then you’ll just have to face him finding out eventually. Was it really that bad? You didn’t confess your undying love for him on live television did you?” You’re only partially joking, you know he mentioned romantic love.

Yuuri seems to pale at your words, which is a good indicator that you were close to the mark.

“Not..exactly. Did you really not understand?” He asks.

“I’m not magic Yuuri, I can’t learn fluent Japanese from a few videos on YouTube. I’d need a teacher and multiple people to converse to get anywhere close to even half fluent. And what do you mean by not exactly?” You ask raising an eyebrow.

Yuuri flushes.

“Come on, tell me. It will be good practice for the conversation you’ll have with Viktor.” You try to convince him.

Yuuri looks at your hesitantly, clearly warring with himself.

“Yuuri,” You say softly, “You know I won’t judge you.”

“It’s not as bad as you’re thinking.” He says, looking over at the screen updating when the train will arrive.

“Then just tell me.” You push.

Yuuri sighs, and begins to talk.

You realise as you walk towards Yu-topia that you’re going to have a problem. You stop in your tracks and stare up at the sign. Yuuri notices and turns to you, a few steps ahead.

“We haven’t come up with a reason for me being here. What is your family going to think of me just showing up?” You ask, suddenly worried as you thoughts run a mile a minute trying to come up with excuses.

Yuuri walks back to you, stopping just outside your personal space and giving you a ‘you’re being dumb right now and I know you’re smarter than this’ look.

“They’ve been seeing glances of you for weeks. I told them that you were a friend of mine from college who’s decided to live on Kyushu for a year and that you’re spending some time in Hasetsu, meeting up with me regularly while you get acclimated to the culture and language.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You stare at him wonderingly.

“And you’ve never mentioned this because?” You ask irritation clear in your tone.

“I planned to, but things have been busy and it never came up in the end.” He answers.

You deflate a little, slight annoyance at the secret disappearing. It’s not like you have any right to be pissed about secrets, with how many you’re juggling. And worse you’re forcing Yuuri to lie with you, a spiteful voice in your head reminds you.

“Right, sorry.” You say quietly.

Yuuri nods and turns around, taking a step towards the inn.

“Yuuri how are we going to keep doing this?” Yuuri turns back around to you again.

“Do what?” He asks.

“We… you , you’re lying to everyone for me! And most of the lies only sort of line up with each other. If the wrong person asks the wrong thing they’ll all come down like a house of cards!” Yuuri doesn’t understand the metaphor, you can tell that immediately, but he gets the gist of what you’re saying.

“It won’t be forever. I’ll win the GPF and you’ll be free to go, and if anyone asks I’ll say you moved away.” He says confidently, like he’s been planning out the words. God , he probably has been.

You throw your arms up in frustration.

“I don’t want to leave!” You cry.

Yuuri’s expression turns to one of confusion.

Right, you haven’t actually told the guy you want to stick around yet, and Yuuri is not the kind of person to assume you’d want him in your life.

You drop your arms and take a deep breath, calming yourself. You step up to him.

“I don’t like being like this, obviously. It’s lonely, I miss eating food and I am a nuisance for you,” Yuuri opens his mouth to argue, you lay a finger on his lips, “Please don’t interrupt.”

Yuuri nods, and you remove your hand.

“Despite that, I do want to be in your life. You’re my friend Yuuri, as much as I want to fix this mess I’m not planning to run off the minute I can. I like you, and I want you to be in my life.” You admit quietly.

Yuuri stares at you, eyes large with surprise.

“Oh.” He says softly.

You huff, a smile breaking out.

“I’m sticking around, you can’t get rid of me that easily. Once this is fixed it just won’t be quite as...constant.” You nod to yourself, that’s the best way to put what you want into words.

“I am glad, you've become a good friend Y/N and I want you in my life too.” He says back shyly.

Your smile widens. It’s almost like a proposal , you teasingly think in your head. But you don’t want to ruin this moment so you say nothing.

After a silence, “We should head in,” You nod towards Yu-topia, “It’s cold and late. You need sleep.”

Yuuri glances over his shoulder, blinking, as if suddenly remembering what you were doing before the conversation started.

“Right…” He says.

You’re about to step past him when his arms come around you and he pulls you into another hug. You melt into the hug instantly, forgetting about the cold and the family waiting inside, and just appreciating the contact for a moment. You eventually pull apart and head inside.

You get properly introduced to Yuuri’s family, which is nice. They offer you a room for the night but you have to decline, saying that you have somewhere else to stay. You’d love to get your own room, but you don’t have any money with you, curse the cruelty of you being plucked from your life in the middle of a jog with hardly anything on your person. 

The Cup of China is fast approaching, and Viktor trains Yuuri harder than ever. It’s brutal to watch at times, but you make a point to always be at Yuuri’s practices as a show of support. You fade back to your usual state a few days after Yuuri announces his theme, and you try not to be too disappointed, it’s still better than how you were back in Detroit. At least Viktor can see you, and even talks to you sometimes.

It all comes to a head after a bad practice when Yuuri doesn’t come back to Yu-topia. He’s probably at Minako’s but you don’t actually know because he asked you to go home without him, citing needing time to cool off. It was a ridiculous thing to request from someone who literally cannot leave his side, but you trusted that he wouldn’t be going anywhere too far away and that you could give him this, at least.

Viktor finds you lazing next to Makkachin in Yuuri’s room. The dog can’t actually see you, but sometimes she almost seems to know you’re there? It’s better than nothing.

“Ah Makka, I was looking for you!” Viktor calls.

He looks at you briefly and then back at Makkachin, mouth opening to say something, before promptly closing his mouth and looking back at you, intently.

“What?” You ask, brows drawing together.

He continues to stare in silence, Makkachin whining at his feet.

He walks over to you and squints.

“Show me your hand.” He says, his tone deceptively sweet, it’s a demand.

You lift your hand up to near eye level, wondering what Viktor is doing. You glance at it-

Oh.

Your hand is just slightly transparent. Not enough to be obvious, and in low light it wouldn’t even be noticeable, but from up close with the light of Yuuri’s ceiling lamp shining down on you both it’s clearly visible.

Oh shit.

Viktor stares at your hand for a long time. You’re not really sure what to do, people, people who aren’t Yuuri at least, can usually only see you if you look solid. No one’s ever seen you when you were translucent, so you’ve never had to hide it.

That was clearly an oversight in Viktor’s case.

“I can explain.” You stammer.

Viktor’s eyes meet yours, narrowed in suspicion.

“Are you a ghost? That would explain so much! You never eat, even when you stay with us all day, you disappear all the time without a trace and you know about private conversations I’ve had with Yuuri!” He says, his expression is one of triumph.

You stare wide-eyed at him for all of a minute. And then blink.

“I’m not a ghost,” Viktor opens his mouth, probably to spout more evidence of the fact that you’re terrible at hiding your secret, “I didn’t die. Therefore I can’t be a ghost.”

That shut Viktor up.

“I…” You pause, struggling to find the words, “I don’t know what I am. A freak accident, a guide sent by fate, honestly I have no clue.” 

Viktor makes no move to speak, listening to your explanation.

“I was on a run in a park, I don’t really know what happened but the next thing I know I’m standing in Yuuri’s bedroom in Detroit. He was understandably upset, but he calmed down eventually and we did some research to find out if anyone was talking about something similar to what had happened to me.” You pause, sucking in a breath.

“I’m not a ghost, but you aren’t wrong that there are similarities between how I am and how ghosts are supposed to work. I can’t eat, I can’t usually touch things, sometimes you can see through me, more than this I mean.” You gesture with your hand.

“Only Yuuri can see me when I’m like that though, and the last thing, I’m attached to him. Literally, I can’t go too far from him without beginning to fade even further. Yuuri and I haven’t made any progress on how to fix it even though I’ve been here since before the last skating season.” Saying it like that put it into perspective, you’ve been in Yuuri’s life for a long time. 

And gone from yours , the thought is one you haven’t let yourself have for quite a while now. It sends a stab of pain through you. It won’t do you any good to remember that now.

Viktor says nothing.

“ Ghost .” He whispers to himself in russian.

You make a face, its one of the few specific words you’ve looked up in the language.

“I just told you I’m not a ghost.”

“There isn’t a word for what you’re describing in Russian.” Viktor replies.

“Is there a word for it in any language?” You ask the room at large.

Viktor smiles at that. His smile drops after a moment and his brows draw together in thought.

“You said you cannot touch things?” He asks.

“Most of the time yeah. Sometimes I can, though. Why?” You reply.

“You helped me get Yuuri back to his room that night at the banquet, I remember.” Viktor would remember that.

“Yuuri is still refusing to talk about the banquet, it’s been so long I thought he’d be over the embarrassment by now, but he isn’t. I haven’t brought it up because I don’t want to be the first to do it.” You frown.

“He has not spoken to me about it either.” Viktor pouts.

“He’ll come around eventually, give him time.” You reply with an eye roll.

Viktor looks down all of a sudden and you follow his gaze, between you is Makkachin whining and wagging her tail, looking up at Viktor.

“Have I been ignoring you Makka? I’m sorry girl, I’ll give you all the hugs to make it up to you.” He bends down to pat her.

Yuuri comes back late, changing quickly and getting into bed. You hover by the door, unsure if he wants you to leave. His eyes open and meet yours.

“The playlist is on.” He says.

He wants you to stay then.

“Thank you. Goodnight Yuuri.” You whisper.

“Goodnight.” He replies, turning over.

He’s quiet the next morning, but most of yesterday’s frustration seems to be gone. You realise half-way through breakfast that he’s quiet for an entirely different reason. You leave for the Cup Of China in only two days.

Chapter Text

The three of you board the plane in silence. Viktor complains about not flying first class, of course. Yuuri and Viktor fall asleep on each other pretty quickly and you wish you had a phone to take pictures of them.

Once settled into the hotel that night and you feel a stab of anxiety as exactly where you are, fully sets in. The Grand Prix. Yuuri’s failure at the final is still burned into your mind. You swallow those feelings as best you can, you’re here to support Yuuri.

Yuuri has some practice to do at the rink for a few hours. Reporters catch him afterwards and get him to answer a few questions. It doesn’t last long, as Yuuri clamps up at the mention of his announcement of this season’s theme. Viktor drags him off after that, which you silently thank him for, until he drags Yuuri over to Yakov Feltsman in an attempt to get the intimidating man to come to dinner.

You sit next to Viktor staring at the spread of food, thinking about just trying. You won’t know unless you try.

Phichit shows up, and still can’t see you. It seems like you’re destined to never be introduced to Yuuri’s college roommate. He invites Celestino which Yuuri seems anxious about, at least until said man arrives. Because Viktor starts drinking himself into oblivion around that point and Yuuri becomes focused on trying to get Viktor to keep his clothes on. All in all the night is a mess.

Viktor sleeps off the alcohol with no problem, insane russian genetics. Yuuri’s anxiety only seems to ramp up further when he finds out Phichit posted one of the photos he took the night before. You hope he can shake some of his worries in warm ups, he can’t go on the ice when he’s in his head like this. He doesn’t exactly… calm down, if anything his anxieties focus into a sort of grim determination. You’re not sure if that’s a good thing or not, only time will tell.

Yuuri is up. He still seems off when he skates away from Viktor. The music starts and he’s off, all dizzying moves and innocent seduction. The first jump is clean, yes! He lands the quad sal, yes Yuuri! He finishes the program clean, and you’re staring at a completely different skater to last season, Yuuri is almost sure to get a personal best. At his first event last time you watched him step out and pop multiple jumps… but if Yuuri can keep this up in the Free Skate there’s no doubt in your mind he’ll be on the podium.

Once he has his score the reality of being in the lead quickly has anxiety clawing its way out, you can see it. As each skater goes, Yuuri holds his position. But for the time at least, he’s distracted by the other programs. You know that if he holds first it’s going to eat at him tonight. If he doesn’t hold first that might still eat at him.

You hate being right. He didn’t even sleep last night, no matter how much you tried to get him to. Viktor doesn’t even let him practice in the morning, he orders Yuuri to take a nap instead.

Listening to Viktor tell Yuuri not to jump in the warm up is like watching a car crash, you know exactly how it's going to end and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Yuuri looks bad after the failed jump in the warm up, last season bad. Viktor finally drags him away to a private spot ten minutes later, before he can combust in the viewing room.

It’s abundantly clear that Viktor has no idea how to deal with Yuuri’s anxiety. Should you stay out of it? You’re a friend, not his coach…

“Viktor? It’s almost time, we need to get back.” Yuuri says shakily. He starts walking away.

“Yuuri.” Viktor calls. Yuuri stops, turning to him.

“If you mess up this Free Skate and miss the podium, I’ll take responsibility and resign as your coach.” Viktor says, voice flat and hard.

You see the tears collecting in Yuuri’s eyes. Viktor you absolute idiot! You think.

“Why would you say that? Like you’re trying to test me or something!” Yuuri asks, tears running down his face.

Viktor flinches, approaching Yuuri arms raised. What did he expect to happen?

“Sorry Yuuri, I wasn’t being serious-” Viktor starts to apologise.

“I’m used to being blamed for my own failures, but this time I’m anxious because my mistakes reflect on you too! I’ve been wondering if you secretly wanted to quit this whole time!” Yuuri shouts.

“Of course I don’t.” Viktor says gently.

“I know!” Yuuri cries harshly.

Viktor looks away, hand in his hair.

“I’m not good at dealing with people crying, I don’t know what to do. Should I kiss you or something?” He asks, casually. You could slap him right now, you might slap him later.

“No! Just have more faith than I do that I’ll win! You don’t have to say anything, just stay close to me!” Yuuri yells at him.

Viktor doesn’t reply just staring wide-eyed at Yuuri.

“We have to go now , Georgi is up.” You say, surprising both Yuuri and Viktor when you speak. They’d probably forgotten you were there.

Yuuri cleans himself up as the three of you walk back upstairs in silence. The stifling silence holds as the three of you walk out in the competitors section, and towards the entrance to the rink. You try to reach for Yuuri’s hand to squeeze it in hopes of comforting him a little but your hand simply goes right through.

Yuuri steps onto the ice. He blows his nose and deliberately drops the tissue, Viktor bends over the wall to catch it. You watch Yuuri press his finger into Viktor’s hair and then pat it. He’s teasing Viktor? 

Is Yuuri smiling? What the hell is going on?

He nails the first combo. Weirdly, Yuuri seems calm.

He’s nailing it, you have no idea how the fiasco in the parking lot translated into this, but he’s nailing the program.

He-

That wasn’t a quad toe! Viktor looks astonished. You blink as you realise your fingers are white from how hard you’re holding the boards. The program ends and Viktor’s already running towards the rink’s exit. You’re a half step behind him.

Viktor reaches the exit just as Yuuri does and then-

He bowls Yuuri over, kissing him as they both land on the ice. As they land the sound the crowd is making becomes deafening and you suddenly feel cold. You suck in a breath as you stare at the fallen pair, they kissed . And you haven’t felt this aware of the world around in so long you’d forgotten how cold air against your skin felt.

Yuuri and Viktor get up, you stay back, not following them to the kiss and cry, not in this state.

Phichit wins gold, but Yuuri wins silver and you’re congratulating him excitedly at the first opportunity, which isn’t until you’re in a quiet hallway, trying to escape the venue without being flocked.

The flight back that night is full of tension between Yuuri and Viktor. Clearly the two need to talk, but it seems like Yuuri is in one of his thought spirals that take him to dark places. You sigh, you’ll have to talk to him when you get back to Hasetsu.

“He kissed me.” Yuuri says in a daze, as soon as you’re alone with him. Yuuri is staring at the wall. His suitcase open on the bed, ready to be unpacked.

“Yeah, I noticed.” You reply.

“He kissed me.” He emphasises, as if you hadn’t heard him the first time.

“Yuuri I know . He’s been flirting with you for months, one of the first things he asked me is if we’re dating, he’s been making his interest clear.” Perhaps it’s too blunt to say it like that, but you don’t want to see Yuuri talk his way out of what was clearly a declaration of Viktor’s intentions.

“But what if he’s-” You cut Yuuri off with a look.

“Just trust me on this one Yuuri, he is interested in you. And I know the idea is probably terrifying but please for the love of god just go talk to him about it, ask him directly.” You are practically begging at this point, you just want the two of them get their heads out of their asses already. 

And Viktor has put himself out there, he’s taken a risk. If Yuuri rebuffs him now because he’s still worried Viktor doesn’t mean it… Viktor might not try again.

“I…” Yuuri meets your eyes searchingly, “What if I make a fool of myself.”

“Yuuri, anyone who drops you for that is not someone worth having in your life,” You say, “And let's be honest, Viktor has seen you do worse that whatever the worst thing you’re imagining happening right now is. You’ll be fine. He just kissed you on live television, I don’t think he could make himself any clearer at this point.”

Yuuri’s eyes drill into yours, looking for deceit of any kind. He’ll find none, you believe every word you’re saying wholeheartedly.

He breathes out slowly.

“Okay, okay.”

He hesitates for a moment, eyes flicking away from yours and back.

“Can you... I mean, you won’t listen in will you?” He asks.

Oh, no that would be rude. 

“No, that conversation is private. I’ll stay here, or maybe go out and watch TV in the main guest area. But I won’t interrupt you.” You reply.

He nods.

“Thank you, I don’t think I could do this with an audience…” He says nervously.

You chuckle.

“Go on, go get the man of your dreams Yuuri,” Yuuri blushes and you smirk, “He’s waiting for you.”

A few hours later you head to the rink. Yuuri and Viktor are probably asleep by now, with the competition over they’re both tired. Yuuri is definitely sleeping in Viktor’s room, as well. Because he never came back to his own after he left to go speak to Viktor.

You arrive at the rink and focus on moving through the door instead of slamming into it. You’re a little surprised when it actually works. 

You find the skates and select the size that should fit you. You sit down and start unlacing your shoes. You’ve worn this outfit for months now, in your non-corporeal state it's been a part of you, unable to be removed, but now you’re almost fully present, so close , you can even take off your clothes.

Your shoes come off with a shaky sigh and the skates come on. You tie them up the way you’ve seen Yuuri do a hundred times.

You look out at the ice. This is perhaps a stupid idea, but you’ve wanted to skate since the first time you watched Yuuri, and in all these months that feeling as only grown into a deeper and deeper ache.

So you ignore the inherent danger in skating alone with no prior experience, and you remove your skate guards. You step out onto the ice, skates sliding forward the tiniest bit, you let out a long breath, you can do this.

You start by skating around the boards a little, until you start to gain confidence, and take your hands off, trusting your feet. You continue to skate around the edge of the rink, close enough to grab the edge if needed. You have no idea how to fall properly if it comes to that...

Once you’ve gained enough shaky confidence to take your mind off your skating for even a moment, your thoughts turn to Yuuri and Viktor. It seems like your part in their lives is suddenly approaching a fast end, you’re faced with an expiration date you hadn't thought about until now. 

It scares you. You don't want to stop being in their lives, in the time you’ve been with Yuuri you’ve slotted into this unassuming space in his orbit, unobtrusive but always present, and it’s been good. Well, you’ve been lonely, yes, but you don’t want to give this up.

Your skate catches and you nearly fall to the ice. Your arms flail out around you in an effort to find balance. After a few seconds you come to to stop, and breathe out. That was close.

You slowly start skating again, moving a lot slower and more carefully now. But you don’t have another panic inducing stumble for the next half hour and eventually you relax back into it.

You’ve learnt a lot about skating, it was bound to happen, watching a figure skater’s life play out right in front of you. But you didn’t learn much about beginners skating from Yuuri, because whatever he might feel about himself, he’s the top figure skater for Japan and a GPF competitor. He has long since forgotten what skating for beginners even involves.

So once you decided that you would skate, if ever given the chance, you started to watch videos online about tips and tricks for anyone just starting out. It’s not the same as someone teaching you in person, but it gives you some ideas for things to try and practice now.

You pick the trick you think will be easiest and least likely to result in you falling and go for that. Its...lacklustre, at best. But you try again, and again. And again.

You practice a few moves for what must be hours, you don’t even realise its dawn until you hear someone clapping from the boards as you finish that same trick, now much cleaner.

You skate to a halt and look over to see Viktor at the entrance to the ice, you flush in embarrassment.

He skates out to you.

“I was-” You don’t know what to say, feeling like a teenager caught in the act of sneaking off to drink. 

“That was good! Have you skated before? You’ve never mentioned being on the ice.” Viktor asks, like it’s normal to find you here doing this.

“Thank you, and no. This is my first time skating, I’ve just been practising all night.” You reply.

“Really? You must be exhausted,” Now that he mentions it you realise how tired you actually are, “Still that was very impressive for someone who’s never been on the ice before without anyone to teach you. Why did you decide to skate in the middle of the night? Was it embarrassment?”

“No, not really. I just needed something to do. And you guys already take the rink for a few hours each day, I didn't want to skate with strangers and I didn’t want to book anymore of the free time so..” You rub the back of your neck and look down at your skates

“You shouldn't skate alone, it’s dangerous. If you do it at night again make sure there’s someone here with you.” He chastises you.

“I’m not sure if I’m capable of getting an injury right now or not...but it is better to be safe than sorry, I won't do that alone again. Now I really gotta get off the ice, you’ve made me realise just how tired I actually am.”

Viktor chuckles.

You skate to the barrier and step off the ice, placing the guards on. You don’t see Yuuri at the rink or back at Yu-topia, you must have missed him. But as soon as you lay your head down on his pillow, you do fall asleep. The last thought in your mind is that you hope he doesn’t mind.

Chapter Text

You dream.

It’s a strange dream.

You’re in the park again, the wind is howling, except it’s dark, and the trees are thick, like a forest. The whispers are loud, louder, you can almost make out what they’re saying, almost. 

The dark is creeping in and the wind is cold. You shiver at the feeling of being watched.

Something is moving behind you, just as you’re about to turn around you’re shaken awake. You jolt at the sudden touch and your eyes blink open blearily.

You blink a little more to clear your vision.

“Yuuri?” You can’t form a sentence this soon after waking, but you’re wondering why he woke you.

“You were asleep.” He says.

Yes, so?

“You were asleep, Y/N!” He repeats.

Oh, you’re brains coming back online and you’re realising how big of a deal that is.

You groan out loud.

“Yes and you woke me up. I know I was sleeping, that was the intent when I laid down on your bed.” You say a little irritably.

Yuuri has the grace to look sheepish.

“Sorry, I was worried though. I’ve never seen you sleep, what if something was wrong?”

Now you feel like an asshole, great.

“It’s too early for this.” You say.

“It’s 6pm.” Yuuri replies, tone flat.

“Can I- ?” You swallow in nervousness.

Surely now’s the time to try right? You managed to put skates on and sleep, eating has to be next on the list.

“Can I get some dinner in that case?” You say in a rush, pushing the words out before you can change your mind.

Yuuri gives you a look of compassion.

“Sure, I’ll get my mother to make some katsudon.”

Your eyes light up.

“Yuuri! You’re the best, how did you know I’ve been dying to try it?”

“You mean apart from the fact that you stare yearningly at it every time it’s served and then after a few minutes go and sulk in the corner?” He replies sardonically.

“I do not!” You say defensively.

The katsudon is divine. You try not let out a shameless moan in front of everyone in the room, you really do, but the dish is just that good.

“I can see why this brings out your eros Yuuri, this should be rated O for Obscene.” You say between bites. It is a trial, stopping long enough to say that, but you do it for the way Yuuri flushes in embarrassment and Viktor claps.

Mari comes round to the table and speaks to Yuuri in rapid japanese for a few minutes before leaving.

You give Yuuri a questioning look, you couldn’t translate anything at that speed.

“I need to go to the store to grab a few things, it’ll only take me half an hour.” He says.

You look down at your nearly empty bowl.

“If you can wait another minute, I’d love to come.”

Yuuri gives you a mildly confused look but waits for you to finish eating.

Viktor asks to go as well, of course. So the three of you leave Yu-topia together, walking to the local grocer. 

Yuuri knows what he’s looking for and where to find it in the store, but you slow the whole thing down by stopping every time something catches your eye, picking it up to try to read it. You’re not very successful. 

“Yurri was does this word translate to? I thought I knew it but I can’t seem to remember.” You say to him.

Yuuri leans into the read it. 

“It means a certain kind of sweetener.”

“Oh it kind of looks like-” You notice Viktor out the corner of your eye. He’s standing just off to the side, watching you and Yuuri, heads together squinting at the brightly coloured packaging.

He’s looking at you and Yuuri with a soft expression, you’ve never seen it on him before. You quirk your eyebrow at him and a small smile appears to compliment the look and he shakes his head slightly. You look at him for a moment longer before returning to the conversation with Yuuri, wondering what that look could possibly mean.

The relationship between Yuuri and Viktor that is seemingly (maybe?) romantic, is doing wonders for how present you are. You spend your time acclimatising to the world around you. You hadn’t realised how many of your senses had been dulled, until they’d suddenly all come back at full force. You can feel temperature again, you sleep sometimes, things you touch have textures… 

Yuuri trains hard. That much is obvious by how exhausted he is at the end of most days.

Rostelecom is fast approaching, and before anyone knows it, it’s upon you.

You’re a little disappointed that you’ll be in another new country for a few days and not really get the chance to explore it. You’re not surprised when Yuuri actively avoids the other competitors before the Short Program. He’s mentioned not knowing anyone well, Yurio aside.

That being said Yurio still finds the opportunity to tell Yuuri he’s going to grind him into dust. You’re glad it doesn’t seem to bother Yuuri. Despite being in the elevator with the both of them, Yurio ignores your existence, which is a feeling you’re intimately familiar with of course… but you’re not currently invisible. The attendant at the front desk acknowledged you a few minutes ago.

The warm ups the next morning are over before you can blink and it's onto the SP. A few skaters have cornered Viktor to ask him when he’s coming back to the ice, he bares the questions with grace, though you’re sure he’s less than happy underneath his TV worthy smile.

Yuuri’s poker-face isn’t quite so good.

“Yuuri,” He pulls his eyes away from Viktor and the group he’s speaking with to look at you, “Go out there and prove that you’re worth Viktor’s time, just like you did at the Cup of China.”

The anxiety in his expression doesn’t lessen. An idea crosses your mind, it’s daring, but Yuuri does better with a push…

You lean in close, speaking into his ear.

“You stole Viktor from skating, you stole Russia’s star skater and they hate you. Show them just how much Viktor loves being yours.” You whisper.

You step back, a satisfied smirk playing on your lips. Yuuri’s eyes blaze with the issued challenge.

“What are you two talking about?” Viktor walks over and asks.

An announcement comes over the speakers, calling the second group out. 

“Nevermind that, Yuuri, you better get out there.” You answer.

Yuuri holds eye contact for a moment longer with you, he nods.

As Mickey leaves the ice and Yuuri steps on, the crowds start to chant Viktor’s name. It doesn’t seem to bother Yuuri, if anything the blazing look in his eyes grows hotter.

He grabs Viktor by the tie and pulls him into whisper to him, you don’t hear what’s said between them.

Yuuri skates out to the centre, and a moment later his program starts. He blows a kiss to the judges, forgoing his usual routine of teasing Viktor. The smirk finds its way back onto your face. He carries the determined energy through the first half of his program, skating it cleanly. The second half begins… now onto the jumps. The axel is clean, so is the quad sal. He’s holding on. As he skates to a stop and poses you jump, shouting in support as you clap. He skated it perfectly!

As you watch from just off to the side of the kiss and cry, you feel vindication as his scores are announced. He beat his personal best, take that!

As JJ’s scores are being announced several minutes later, placing him in first above Yuuri, you glance at Yuuri only to see him in a call. His face is a mask of horror. He hangs up the call and turns to Viktor, you watch, waiting for him to explain who he was on the phone with.

“Viktor, go back to Japan right now. I’ll face the Free Skate on my own.”

“Yuuri…” Viktor trails off.

“Makkachin ate some buns, she’s at the vet and they don’t know if... Viktor you have to go.” Your chest tightens at the words. You flashback to Vicchan, oh Yuuri…

You sigh, stepping into the conversation.

“Go Viktor, I’ll stand in for tomorrow,” You grimace, “It’s not ideal but… you need to go.” You say.

Viktor’s eyes flick between You and Yuuri, turmoil swirling in their depths.

He runs his hands through his hair and sighs. He lifts the coach’s pass from his neck and hands it to you.

“Okay,” His eyes hold yours as you take it, “Do your best tomorrow, both of you.” The words are stilted, empty. The lines of his face betray his stress.

“We’ll see you back in Hasetsu in two days with a medal.” You reply.

Half a smile curves Viktor’s lips up, but he says nothing. The smile quickly disappears.

Within the hour he’s left the hotel with his belongings, you and Yuuri watch him go.

The next morning Yuuri’s nerves show in his practice, he falls out of more jumps than he lands. He gives you a sheepish look when he skates over to you at the boards for a quick water break.

“You need to clear your mind Yuuri, focus on skating. You fall when your mind is busy elsewhere.” You tell him.

“I know, I’m sorry I’ll be fine in the Free Skate.” He replies. 

He doesn’t sound confident. ‘Just have more faith than I do that I’ll win.’ Yuuri’s words from the Cup of China echo in your head.

“I know you will be, you’ve come a very long way this season. I know it’s not easy, but you need to put Makkachin from your mind, she’s going to be fine,” Yuuri’s eyes look away from you at the mention of Makkachin, you grab his shoulders, “Look at me Yuuri. Makkachin is going to be fine .” You say with as much conviction as you can. You don’t really feel that confident, but you make yourself feel it for now, for Yuuri’s sake.

He nods.

“Take a deep breath Yuuri, you’re in second place. You’re going to make the podium. You’re going to make the final.” Somewhere in your sentence your motivational speech turns into an order. You hold firm on it, telling Yuuri with your eyes that you know he can do this.

Yuuri takes a long shaky breath, but it seems to help a little.

“Now practice your combo, and maybe the flip once or twice.” You tell him.

Yuuri nods and skates off. It feels very strange to be ordering him around like you’re his coach. You don’t know nearly enough to be a coach. You’ve learnt a lot about skating in the last… your eyes close and your heart twists painfully as you realise how long you’ve been here.

You sigh and open your eyes, finding Yuuri on the ice, you can’t think about that right now. Right now Yuuri needs you.

He’s still looking a bit shaky after practice, but he did make most of his jumps after your conversation, so it must have helped.

The press hound him about where Viktor is and who his mysterious stand-in is. Yuuri handles is well, considering. You try not to think about the extra lie he spins, adding to the ever growing pile.

Another problem, with Viktor so far away you’re fading slightly. You still look solid, and people can still see you, but the numbness is coming back, you can’t feel the cold of rink air. You hope you won’t fade to the point of disappearing from public view, Yuuri needs you present.

The Free Skate starts, you hand Yuuri his ear plugs and watch him warm up. He’s second to last because of where he placed after the Short Program, it’s unfortunate that he has to skate so late in the line up, the more skaters he has to watch before him the worse it is for his anxiety.

Today isn’t like the Cup of China, Yuuri doesn’t glance at the screens showing the FS once, he doesn’t even watch Yurio skate as they step out into the rink. He turns to you, quiet, and hands your his jacket.

“Yuuri,” You call quietly, “Just think about Viktor.”

Yuuri skates to the centre as his name is called. You bite your lip.

The program starts and you can immediately tell how anxious he is. He’s definitely going to mess up at least one of the jumps…

He lands the quad toe but pops the planned second jump in the combination. Yuuri steps out of two more of his jumps, but doesn’t fall, it really is a testament to how far he’s come.

He finds his stride by the last third of the program and lands his triples cleanly, downgrading his quads so that he lands them all.

He ends his program with his arm outstretched towards you. Oh, he’s pointing at you. Knowing what you know about the program’s meaning it tugs at your heart the slightest bit. You give Yuuri an encouraging smile and head for the rink’s exit.

You and Yuuri head to the kiss and cry together.

“You did well.” You say simply.

“It may not be enough.” Yuuri replies.

“It will be.” You say firmly.

The score comes in, Yuuri is in third place, that means… 

Even if JJ beats him he’ll take fourth, and that’s all he needs to qualify for the final!

You turn to Yuuri with an elated smile and he hugs you.

“Thank you Y/N, I couldn’t have done this without you.” His words are muffled by his your shirt.

“It was all you Yuuri, all you need is a little faith.” You hug him back.

After the final scores are announced and it’s confirmed that Yuuri has just scrapped his way into the final you to plan your exit. Sala Crispino intercepts you and congratulates Yuuri on his placement in the final. Yuuri proceeds to hug her, and then her brother, and then the rest of the competitors, except Yurio because he runs away.

Yurio catches up to them later to simultaneously berate and comfort Yuuri, that teen is really something else.

Several hours later you’re walking out of the international terminal in Japan. Yuuri spots Viktor waiting and takes off running, you follow.

He and Viktor meet in a hug just outside, Makkachin wagging her tail at their feet. And you think, that maybe you can do this. Whatever it is that’s required of you. You’re not sure when you started to believe that you being tethered to Yuuri was fate’s doing, but now you can’t seem to shake it. Every action just seems to point to it. And you think that you might have almost fulfilled your part, just one more little push.

Yuuri pulls back from the hug.

“Please be my coach until I retire!” Yuuri asks Viktor.

Viktor smiles and kisses Yuuri’s knuckles.

“It’s almost like a marriage proposal.” He replies.

They hug again and as you step closer you hear Viktor whisper to Yuuri.

“I hope you never retire.”

Maybe they don’t need as much of as a push as you thought.

Viktor’s eyes meet yours over Yuuri’s shoulders, he doesn’t say anything but he thanks you with his eyes. You give him a small nod. The three of you stand in the airport like that for a moment that feels like it lasts for eternity.

Chapter Text

You rarely get to spend time with Viktor and Yuuri, the GPF is right around the corner and they train harder than ever. You’re with them for most of the day obviously, but there’s not a lot of time to hang out of have casual conversations. You don’t begrudge Yuuri for it, he needs the time to practice.

But you are a little lonely…

On the upside Yuuri and Viktor are very close, you can tell because whenever they are busy and you get the time, you sit with Makkachin petting her, or occasionally take her for a walk. The consistent solidity is nice.

So basically things are boring. But also not at the same time. You don’t have much to do, but the tension is thick in the air, keeping anyone from relaxing too much.

Barcelona.

You’ve never been to the city before, and it’s more beautiful than you could have guessed. The three of you arrived a day early for the event which means you might actually get to explore the city a bit. You’ve been to Russia and China but seen nothing beyond hotel rooms and skating rinks. So it will be nice to see some sights, assuming Yuuri doesn’t just want to spend the time practising.

After you check in at the hotel Yuuri falls asleep immediately, and after a short conversation with you, Viktor decides to go to the pool.

Out of boredom yourself you end up wandering down to the lobby to people watch. It’s a little creepier when other people can see you, you realise after a few minutes. You’ve gotten so used to being a bystander, watching life unfold around you, that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a participant.

You’re about to head back up to the room and try the TV since this was a bust when you spot Phichit checking in at the front desk. Celestino speaks to him briefly and heads for one of the elevators. He finishes checking in and turns in your direction, heading for the elevators you’re standing not too far from.

He spots you and lights up, adjusting his course slightly for you.

Oh… Oh shit.

You haven’t come up with a lie for Phichit yet. Not one that will work in the long term anyway… 

Fuck. Okay what are your options?

Too late he’s here.

“Hi! I’m Phichit Chulanont, I’m a friend of Yuuri’s. You stood in as his coach at his last qualifying event right?” He introduces himself.

“Hello, and I know who you are, Yuuri has mentioned you plenty of times,” Phichit puffs up at that, “I’m Y/N. I did stand in for Viktor when he needed to return to Japan in the middle of the competition, I’m not trained as a coach, but I was the only person on hand who knew Yuuri.” You reply.

Okay… time to decide, he’s about to ask.

Stick with something close to the other lies…

“How did you and Yuuri meet? He’s such a private person, he hasn’t said.” Phichit asks.

“We met in Detroit,” Phichit’s eyebrows fly up, “About two years ago now. I was visiting the university for my sister, when Yuuri and I met by chance. We kept in contact, though we didn’t speak often. Yuuri is a quiet guy, as I’m sure you know.” You rub the back of your neck, looking at the ground.

“When I told him I was planning to move to Japan, he told me he had just moved back to his hometown Hasetsu. He generously offered for me to come visit him, and I did. I ended up settling down in Hasetsu, it’s a lovely place. And Yuuri and I got to know each other better. Eventually I started coming with him to his events to support him.” You let out an internal sigh of relief, still close enough to hold up under minor scrutiny with the other lies. But anything more…

Best not to think about.

“Oh that’s sweet of you! Yuuri has always had a hard time believing in himself at competitions… I’m glad he’s got so much support behind him!” Phichit replies warmly.

You smile.

“You met him at university right? While you were in Detroit?” You ask to be polite, you already know the answer.

And a lot of other things about Phichit.

“Yeah! We ended up being assigned as roommates when I started there, Yuuri was a few years ahead of me.” Phichit smiles.

“He’s mentioned some of the crazy things you two apparently have gotten up to, I’ll have to ask you sometime if they’re true. As of right now I need to head up to his room, I said I’d meet Yuuri once he was settled in.” You say.

“Alright, well it was nice meeting you! I hope we get the chance to talk again while we’re here!” Phichit says, heading off in the direction of the elevators.

You let yourself relax. That was… less than ideal. But for coming up with it on the fly your lie was pretty good.

A few minutes later you head for the elevators too, maybe Yuuri will have woken up. Or maybe Viktor will have come to his senses and realised that it’s far too cold to swim in an outdoor pool right now.

Yuuri is still asleep when you come back into the room, so you open his laptop and read a few news articles, most of them are pinning the win on Chris, a few are suggesting that Yurio might pull out the win in his senior debut. A few of them mention Yuuri, talking about his improvements this season and his declaration about winning with the power of love.

The news sites seem to have gotten a little more bold since the kiss between Viktor and Yuuri in China, openly insinuating… things. Not that it matters, reporters talk, they always do.

Around an hour later Yuuri stirs, grabbing his phone. He reads it for a while, eventually dropping it and just staring up at the ceiling.

“I met Phichit today.” You say quietly from across the room.

Yuuri’s head lifts of the bed to look at you.

“How’d it go?” He asks with some trepidation.

You get up and walk over to the bed, relaxing on the edge of it.

“Pretty well considering I didn’t have a lie planned ahead for it. I think I made a good first impression.” You answer.

“What did you tell him? I’m sure he’ll ask me about it when he gets the chance.” Yuuri wisely says.

“Right, I said…”

You’re finishing up explaining the story you told Phichit when there’s a knock on the door.

“Yuuri?” Viktor’s voice comes through the door.

“Come in Viktor.” Yuuri answers.

The door opens and Viktor steps in, followed by Chris. His eyes sweep the room, landing on you. He pins you with a look.

“I know you…” He says.

A stab of anxiety runs through you, was he actually able to see you that night at the banquet? That hardly lines up with your other stories and Yuuri still hasn’t mentioned it and you’re sure he wouldn’t appreciate that conversation happening now.

“You were Yuuri’s coach at his last event.” Chris finishes.

Oh, thank god.

“Yes I was, it’s nice to meet you Chris, I’m Y/N.” 

“It’s a pleasure.” He says as he steps past Viktor and walks up to you. He leans down into your space, uncomfortably close.

“So how did you manage to talk your way into both of their pants? I’ve been trying for years.” He asks.

Your cheeks instantly flame. God, is that what people think? Or is Chris just being Chris?

“I didn’t.” You say nervously.

“So they seduced you? I can see why,” He takes hold of you chin, tilting your head up, “And I understand why you fell for them, who wouldn’t say yes to an offer like that?”

You blush even harder. 

“Chris,” Chris’s hand leaves your chin as he looks back at Viktor speaking to him, “It’s not like that.”

“Oh so it’s not just about sex, the three of you are actually together? I don’t judge, that sounds like a pretty good arrangement to me.” Chris gives a smile full of hidden meanings.

“No! It’s not like that either,” You take a breath to centre yourself, “We’re not together, the three of us. I mean they are, wait-” Your eyes fly to Viktor and then to Yuuri, in a silent apology. You hadn’t meant to out them.

Viktor gives a slight shake of the head, telling you it’s fine.

“Yuuri and I are together yes, Y/N is a friend who comes to support Yuuri at competitions.” Viktor says, rescuing you.

Chris gives you one last long look.

“That’s a shame, the three of you would be hot together.”

He leaves it at that, much to your relief. Yes Viktor and Yuuri are attractive, but you’re here to get them together, not…

You stop the rest of that train of thought and ignore it for the rest of the night.

Yuuri trains hard in the morning. He doesn’t land the quad flip in practice, he still hasn’t landed it cleanly. But you know he can, he’s getting so close!

Yuuri is tired after the morning’s practice ends, but he actually wants to see the city which is quite unlike him. You spend the day being guided around by Viktor, it’s quite fun. You eat out, see a few amazing sights.

It’s getting late and things are winding down.

Oh, and Yuuri lost one of Viktor’s many bags. It had some fancy snacks in it. Yuuri’s panicking but it’s starting to get late and it's been lost for hours. You doubt it can be found at this point.

Viktor agrees.

Yuuri slumps when he realises he isn’t going to find it. An awkward silence descends over the three of you as you walk through a night market. You watch Viktor watch Yuuri, they’re both thinking deeply about something. You wonder if either of them will break the silence and voice their thoughts.

Yuuri’s eyes are drawn to a storefront, he rushes up to it, eyes looking at the displays closely.

“Let’s go in this store.” He says.

You and Viktor follow him in. Your eyebrows furrow as you realise it’s a jewellery store. You keep the questions swirling in your mind to yourself. Watching Yuuri as he selects two gold rings.

Is he going to propose to Viktor?

Said man watches Yuuri quietly, face a mask of subtle surprise.

Rings acquired, Yuuri leads you and Viktor to the cathedral. Viktor is quiet the whole way there.

You stand off to the side, barely even daring to breathe as Yuuri stands opposite Viktor. The two men are bathed in pale light from the church behind them, a choir is singing a few metres away.

Viktor watches silently as Yuuri removes one of his gloves and slides on one of the rings. A bell chimes somewhere on the hour.

“Thank you for everything Viktor, I couldn’t think of a better way to express that. But… I’ll try my best tomorrow. So, tell me something for good luck.” Yuuri tells him.

Viktor’s expression is soft and open, Yuuri looks at him shyly.

“Sure,” A smile curving on his lips as he lifts Yuuri’s hand to slip the other ring on him, “I’ll say something you won’t even have to think about. Tomorrow, show me the skating that you can honestly say you love best.”

The cool wind blows through your hair, but you don’t notice it, or the sound of people milling around on the streets around you. You notice the feeling though, of something inside you moving, the slightest shift.

“Okay.” Yuuri replies softly.

The two of them smile warmly at each other and Viktor takes Yuuri’s hand as they head in a random direction.

There’s silence for a while, but it’s not an awkward one, it’s nice. Like you’re all just enjoying this moment.

“I’m hungry.” Yuuri eventually says.

“Let’s find somewhere to eat then.” Viktor replies.

You find a nice little place and see that Yurio and Otabek are inside. Viktor suggests joining them.

Most of the other competitors end up being invited. Chris, is seated to your left, and Phichit is just beyond him. It’s a little awkward at first.

“Why did we all have to eat together?” Yurio complains.

Eventually everyone relaxes enough to enjoy the meal.

“Still, it is a bit odd for us all to be meeting like this before the competition.” Yuuri starts.

You look at him, listening.

“At last year’s final I was always by myself, even at the banquet. I couldn’t even talk to Viktor.” Yurri says with utter confidence.

Viktor spits his drink. 

Oh god, Yuuri doesn’t remember. You feel like the biggest idiot of all time. How could you not have noticed that? How could you not have realised he wasn’t talking about the banquet because he didn’t remember the banquet. You feel a strong urge to put your head in your hands.

“Yuuri you don’t remember?” Viktor asks incredulously.

“What?” Yuuri blinks at him, confused.

“You got drunk on champagne and started dancing Yuuri. Everyone saw it.” Chris tells him.

All colour drains from Yuuri’s face. You give him a comforting pat on the back.

“It was disgusting as hell, I was dragged into a dance off and got humiliated.” Yurio says, with a vexed expression.

“A dance off with Yurio?” Yuuri asks faintly.

“I did mine with a pole dance, half naked.” Chris adds.

Yuuri lets out a distressed whimper, you can see his brain short-circuiting.

Yuuri stares at the table with unseeing eyes, whispering about drinking to himself in japanese.

“I still have videos of it on my phone.” Viktor offers, tapping away at the screen.

“Me too.” Chris says, showing Phichit his phone.

“Wait don’t look,” Yuuri says in embarrassment. As if most of the people at this table didn’t witness it personally, “Cut it out!”

Chris looks up at him, eyes narrowing on his hand.

“What are the rings for?” He asks teasingly.

Yuuri tenses up. You wonder if he’s even had the chance to think about people asking him questions about them.

“Um, this is…” Yuuri trails off, struggling to come up with an excuse.

“Congratulations on your marriage!” Phichit claps excitedly.

“Uh…” Yuuri stutters.

Phichit announces said marriage to the whole restaurant. Yuuri starts frantically trying to explain, stuttering out half finished denials.

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Viktor shows his ring off with a flourish, “This is an engagement ring. We’ll get married when he wins a gold medal.”

Seriously?!

After all the work you’ve done Viktor’s gonna say something like that…

At least you have faith that Yuuri can win if he pushes himself.

“Right Yuuri?” Viktor asks his fiancé . 

“Viktor…” Yuuri’s face washes with realisation as he looks at the people they’re sitting with.

“A gold..” Otabek whispers.

“Medal.” Phichit finishes.

“Huh?” Chris side-eye’s Yuuri.

“Tch.” Yurio scoffs.

Yuuri stutters under the scrutiny, shaking like a leaf all the while. You’re about to interrupt just to rescue him, but someone beats you to it.

Oh it’s JJ. The dinner finds it’s end pretty quickly after his challenge. Yuuri’s fast asleep within an hour of them returning to the hotel room. At least he’s getting sleep this time.

You follow Viktor and Yuuri into the back entrance of the skating complex, team pass weighing heavily around your neck. It’s the first time you’ve been here in an official capacity as support for Yuuri. Standing in for Viktor didn’t count.

You swallow the anxiety you feel for Yuuri, this is it, he’s going to win this year.

Chapter Text

Yuuri is clearly nervous in his warm up, who wouldn’t be. But he doesn’t fail any of his jumps. He stays on the ice at the end of the warm up. He takes off his jacket and hands it to you, revealing the eros costume.

Viktor takes his hand in his own. He leans down and kisses Yuuri’s ring. And then Yuuri is off, with hardly a word, but he’s smiling. A bit of confidence, perhaps?

Yuuri kisses his ring as he finds his starting pose. And then he’s off. You watch every moment with bated breath. You’ve always loved this routine, it’s all quick steps and spins at dizzying speeds, it’s perfect for Yuuri.

The program is going great, he lands the triple axel and then the quad sal combo, that’s perfect too.

“Yes Yuuri!” You cry.

He flies into the quad flip and it looks good until a hand just barely touches the ice on the landing.

Yuuri is breathing deeply as he strikes his ending pose, after a moment he collapses onto the ice. You feel a stab of fear for a moment before you realise his fists are clenched tight. He’s disappointed.

You sit with Yuuri and Viktor in the kiss and cry, Viktor holding Yuuri’s right hand and you holding his left. His score doesn't quite break one hundred.

“You’ll make it up in the Free Skate.” You say with confidence, even if your expression is grim.

Yuuri says nothing and you glance to the side, catching the frustrated expression on his face before it morphs into calm.

Phichit’s up second, his program starts just as you leave the kiss and cry. There’s no reason not to stay and support him now that Yuuri has skated. At their last event together Yuuri didn’t see most of either of his performances live, too busy trying to deal with his own anxiety. He’s better off going first for that reason.

His short program only has one quad in it, the toe loop, but he skates it flawlessly. Well that’s one way to make up for having less quads…

It’s not quite enough for him to pass Yuuri though, his score is two points less. 

Yurio is up, but you don’t have time to watch as reporters flock to Yuuri to ask him about his Short Program. You notice Viktor disappear part way through.

Yuuri eventually manages to escape the questions and search for Viktor. He’s in the stands reserved for skaters and their teams. They find seats to watch Chris’s skate. 

Chris scores well, too well. Yuuri is now in third.

Otabek skates very well, his determination is obvious. And another person passes Yuuri’s score.

Yuuri doesn’t take the news very well. You can see the pressure weighing down on him.

JJ is on the ice, the last to go. The pressure must be immense, but he hasn’t shown any weakness before.

His skate goes… about as well as Yuuri’s FS went last year. He doesn’t fall on any of his jumps, but most of the quads turn into singles.

JJ’s score puts him firmly in last place. Yuuri is in fourth, he still has a chance.

Yuuri is quiet through dinner that night, and tells Viktor he needs to talk to Viktor about something after he’s finished showering.

“I’ll go… grab us some coffee.” You say as Viktor closes the bathroom door.

Whatever the two of them need to talk about, it sounds private.

Viktor must have taken longer than you thought in the shower, because when you slowly close the hotel room door behind you, you find Viktor and Yuuri sitting across from each other.

“After the Final, let’s end this.” Yuuri says.

The words feel like being plunged into the arctic ocean, you freeze completely, unable to move or say a word.

Viktor stares at Yuuri in surprise.

“Viktor, you’ve done more than enough for me. Thank you, I was able  to give everything I had to my last season. Thank you for everything, thank you for being my coach.”

Every word feels like a tiny dagger being embedded in your chest. You stand there, just watch Viktor’s reaction.

Viktor starts to cry.

“Damn, I didn’t realise Katsuki Yuuri was such a selfish human being.” He says, voice flat.

“Right, I made this selfish decision on my own. I’m retiring.” He replies, hand reaching up to brush Viktor’s hair out of his face.

“Yuuri, what are you going?” Anger leaks into Viktor’s tone.

“I’m surprised to see you cry.” Yuuri answers.

“I’m angry!” Viktor slaps Yuuri’s hand away.

“You were the one saying it was only until the Grand Prix Final!” Yuuri’s voice rises in volume.

“I thought you needed more help.” Viktor says, quieter.

“Aren’t you going to make a comeback? You don’t have to worry about me-” 

“How can you tell me to return to skating when you’re retiring?” Viktor stands, grabbing Yuuri’s shoulders.

Yuuri stares with wide eyes up at Viktor.

Yuuri says nothing, the silence stretches on.

Viktor eventually let’s go of Yuuri, stepping back.

“I’m getting changed.” He says as he walks to the bathroom and closes the door.

You put the coffee down on the bench slowly, Yuuri looks up at the sound. You’ve not told him all this time, and it’s finally come back to bite you in the ass… 

“I didn’t realise you had come back.” He says.

“You want to retire.” You say flatly, ignoring the comment. 

“When I win gold at the Final I’ll be completing my journey and you won’t be tethered to me anymore, you’ll be real again.” Yuuri replies, convinced. 

“That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard, that’s not how destiny works. And I don’t care about it for that reason anyway! You love skating, it's part of who you are and you have years of skating ahead of you, why retire? Is it the press? Last year’s loss?... Vicchan?” You ask the last one a little quieter than the others, hesitating.

“No, Viktor should be on the ice, but I’m keeping him all to myself as my coach. He misses skating and I cant keep him from it.” He replies. 

“Is that the only reason? Because you can think of a way to both keep skating, I’m sure of it. Please don’t give up Yuuri, you’re finally reaching your full potential as a skater, you can win the Final and more! You can become a legend yourself.” You say. 

“If I win the final that will be enough, it's the logical end to my career. That's why you were drawn to me, to help me in my last season.” He says quietly. 

You sigh. 

“Yuuri winning the Final won’t free me.” You say tiredly. 

“You don't know that, it's the logical conclusion can’t you see?” He asks. 

“No, I can’t,” You say, remembering the conversation at dinner last night about the banquet, “Because skating isn't what brought me to you.”

Yuuri stares at you in naked surprise.

“But you started to become more solid after Viktor came to Japan to coach me and have become more and more real after every competition! It must be that, you said so yourself!”

“I lied.” You reply quietly.

You meet Yuuri’s eyes, and decide to finally come clean.

“I’ve known the reason or at least part of it since Sochi, since the banquet.”

“You remember that night...why didn’t you tell me I made a fool of myself!”

“At first I thought you were just embarrassed, and that you had decided not to talk about it. So I didn’t tell you what I discovered that night.”

Yuuri is silent, waiting for you to continue.

“You danced, yes, after drinking yourself half to death and making me worry that you were going to give yourself alcohol poisoning while I watched and could do nothing. But then you danced.”

“You challenged Yurio to the dance off first, which yes, I think you’d be embarrassed about if you remembered. Though you did win,” your eyes twinkle slightly, “And then you asked Viktor to dance. And he said yes.  The two of you danced for ages before Chris butted in and challenged you to a pole dance.” Yuuri buries his head in his hands at your words.

“Don’t worry you won that as well. After that you...you asked Viktor to be your coach. I thought he was going to say no, I thought I was going to watch your hopes being crushed by your idol but instead he just blushed at you. The beginnings of a crush.” You smirk.

“We, well I mean Viktor and Chris with me tagging along uselessly, got you out of the hall after that. You didn't look great. Viktor was going to take you back up to your room. But something absurd and impossible happened, he looked right at me and asked me if I knew you. I was so surprised I almost didn't answer. Once I got my brain back online and told him yes, I was your friend. He asked if I knew what floor you were on and if I could help carry you. Lifting your arm onto my shoulder, that was the first time I had touched anything or anyone since showing up in your bedroom.”

Yuuri listens, expression unreadable.

“I was freaking out internally but kept my cool until we got you back to the room and Viktor left,” You smile and the memory of what he said, “Before leaving, he asked me to keep an eye on you, like he cared. It was sweet, seeing him look out for you when he hardly knew you. He definitely was crushing hard. I did look after you of course. And as the night turned into morning I slowly faded back into my barely there state from before the banquet. I knew then that you and Viktor being close, touching, getting to know each other, was somehow the key to me becoming solid again.”

“Why didn't you tell me? Us?” Yuuri asks.

“The two of you had something, from the start. It was clear Viktor still had his crush when he arrived in Hasetsu, and your feelings were quickly graduating from idolisation to real attraction. If I told you, you’d have felt obligated to be near him, any chance of something real developing between you would have disappeared. I didn't want to take that from you, I wanted you to have that. So yes, I nudged you every so often, when it was clear that it was something you both wanted and would probably get to eventually anyway, but I didn't tell you, I couldn't.”

“But as soon as I heard that you didn't know about the banquet I knew I had to tell you. I’d always intended to tell you. And...well, I told you that I don't really believe in destiny, but I think you two are meant to be together.” You say honestly.

“And I know that your skating inspires Viktor, you retiring for him would be the same as him retiring for you, do you get that? It would take away the thing that makes skating great. So just think about it Yuuri, really think about it, can you give it one more season? Or even just stay on for the rest of this one and see how it is? Does it have to be over tomorrow?” You decide to leave then, knowing Yuuri has a lot to think about.

When you come back an hour later Viktor and Yuuri are on opposite beds, faced away from each other. Yuuri hears you come in and looks up.

“Nothing has changed, I take it.” You say quietly.

“We’ve agreed to both decide after the Free Skate.” He says.

You’re pretty sure both of them already have, but you nod anyway.

“Okay. Goodnight Yuuri.” You whisper.

He’s sound asleep a few minutes later.

You sit down on the couch, and within minutes you realise how tired you are. You fall asleep quickly.

You’re back in the park, the forest is even darker than before. The wind feels so strong you’re sure it’s going to carry you away, but it’s completely silent. All you can hear is the whispers, but they’re not distant and echoing, they sound like they’re being spoken directly into your ears, you can hear them perfectly.

“Three lost souls guide each other, finding a path within each other, the path can only be found from this place.”

“What does that mean?” You call into the dark.

There is no reply, just the endless mantra. Eventually the dark swallows you completely and you wake with a start.

Yuuri doesn’t practice till the official time slot just before the Free Skate. He doesn’t try any jumps other than the triple axel, which he wobbles on. You frown.

JJ skates first. The first half of his program is lacklustre, but he lands his jumps in the second half, though they’re not perfect. His total score is just passes three hundred, it’s an impressive comeback.

Phichit is up next. His program is good, if not perfect. 

Yuuri and Viktor don’t speak as they walk towards the rink entrance.

“Don’t worry, you can win gold Yuuri. Believe in yourself.” Viktor says. 

The words feel empty.

“Hey Viktor… I told you before that I wanted you to stay who you were, right? Don’t suddenly start trying to sound like a coach now. I want to smile for my last time on the ice.” Yuuri stares down as he speaks.

Phichit’s score is announced, he’s 10 points under three hundred.

Viktor leans in next to Yuuri’s ear.

“Yuuri listen to me. I debated whether I should tell you this now, but…” His posture changes slightly, “I took a break after becoming the five-time world champion to coach you, so how is it that you still haven’t won a single gold medal?” He asks.

Yuuri’s eyes widen in surprise, and you wonder if Viktor is trying to motivate Yuuri with a challenge.

“How much longer are you going to stay in warm up mode?” Viktor says with a smile as he pulls Yuuri into a hug, “I really want to kiss the gold medal.”

Yuuri smiles into Viktor’s shoulder. His eyes meet yours and you give him a wide smile and mouth ‘you can do it’. 

Yuuri skates out to the centre of the rink and strikes his pose.

The piano starts, and Yuuri moves into the slow and fluid choreography.

He lands the quad toe combination perfectly.

Yuuri looks...peaceful.

He nails the quad sal too!

He changes the next jump...what is he doing?

He nails the triple axel, the program is going perfectly…

He lands a perfect quad toe, in place of a triple flip.

He lands both of the combos!

“Yes!” You can’t help but shout.

That just leaves the last jump…

‘Come on Yuuri, land it, I know you can’ You think.

The flip is flawless.

Yuuri comes out of the spin at the end and finishes with his hand outstretched to Viktor.

In the kiss and cry you wait with baited breath, that performance was the best you’ve ever seen from him.

Your brain stops working as you see the score. 

He broke the world record…

Viktor pulls Yuuri into a hug.

“Well done Yuuri, having both you and Yurio beat my world records is the ultimate bliss as a coach, but the ultimate diss as a competitor.” He whispers.

You suck in a shaky breath.

“Huh? Does that mean you’ll come back?” Yuuri says excitedly.

Viktor just gives Yuuri a soft smile.

Chris doesn’t break three hundred points total…

Yuuri is guaranteed a spot on the podium.

Otabek is up next.

You don’t see him skate, you’re with Yuuri through his short post skate interview.

You and Yuuri head back out to hear Otabek’s score and watch Yurio skate.

Otabek is behind JJ.

“It’s just Yurio left, you’re in the lead.” You say excitedly.

Yurio looks tense on the ice, he falls on one of his quads. You watch him nail the rest of his program with a grim determination.

“Shit.” You say quietly.

Yurio takes first, which you can’t say he doesn’t deserve. He delivered two amazing programs. Yuuri’s score is a fraction of a point behind his.

But it is behind, and he stands on the podium with a silver medal around his neck.

“It’s not a gold medal but…” Yuuri presents his silver to Viktor.

“I don’t feel like kissing it unless it’s gold.” He says with a sunny smile.

“Man, I really wanted to kiss Yuuri’s gold medal.” He adds, petulantly.

“I’m such a failure of a coach,” He leans into Yuuri’s space, “Yuuri do you have any suggestions? Something that would excite me?”

“Um..well…” Yuuri throws his arms around Viktor, “Please stay on as my coach for one more year. This time I’ll win gold!”

Viktor’s face lights up.

“Yes! But keep going!” He encourages.

“Huh?” Yuuri says.

Viktor picks up the silver medal Yuuri dropped to the floor in his haste to hug him.

“Even I’m worried about making a full comeback if I’m staying on as your coach,” He places the medal around Yuuri’s neck, “In exchange I’ll need you to become a five-time world champion. At least.”

Yuuri cries, and throws his arms back around Viktor.

After a few moments Viktor opens his arms, pulling back slightly and meeting your eyes. It’s a clear invitation, and you can’t say no. You hug them both, sitting on the floor beside the rink for a moment that you hope will last forever.

Chapter Text

Their pair skate is beautiful. And fitting, for the year’s theme and the announcement of Viktor returning. If you didn’t personally know them, you would think it had been planned like that, but you know it wasn’t. It was just…

Well maybe it wasn’t just good luck, you think as you watch them, maybe there was some cosmic force out there that wanted the two of them together enough to pluck you right out of your life and make you do it.

You were happy to do it.

After the skate is over and the Final is officially over, things are a worldwind. It’s quick packing and Viktor heading straight for Russia while you and Yuuri go back to Japan to pack up both of their belongings and mail them to St. Petersburg.

Yeah, Viktor had asked Yuuri to move in with him.

“How are we going to do this? You need a coach…” Yuuri says with a frown.

“I’ll go back to Yakov of course, I’ve already spoken to him.” Viktor replies.

“Oh… so we’re moving to Russia?” Yuuri asks.

“Yes, we don’t really have any other choices.” Viktor answers.

“I don’t...I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford that Viktor.” The anxiety in Yuuri’s voice is evident.

“What do you mean?” Viktor fixes Yuuri with a look.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford to stay somewhere in St. Petersburg.” Yuuri explains with shame in his voice.

“You-” Viktor stops, pauses and then slowly walks over to Yuuri.

“I was going to ask you to come live with me, I should have thought that was obvious.” He says quietly, looking down at Yuuri.

“You want me to live with you?” Yuuri asks, awe in his voice.

“Of course I do.” Viktor answers.

Yuuri throws his arms around Viktor and hugs him happily.

Your tongue feels like lead in your mouth, you should tell them, you should tell them that you think the requirements are filled, that you’re free to go. You try to open your mouth to speak but Viktor beats you to it. He turns to you, a light in his eyes.

“And I you as well Y/N, I know you don’t really have a choice in the matter, but I want you there too.” You feel dizzy at Viktor’s words.

“Really?” You ask aloud, without meaning to.

“Really.” Viktor says.

Oh, that would be nice. That would be very nice.

You still can’t believe Viktor invited you to live with him. There is still the matter of telling them both that you’re not attached to Yuuri anymore. You haven’t tested it yet but… you’ve been having the dream, the one in the park. 

But it’s different. The darkness and the wind is gone, it’s just a still morning, exactly how it was. The whispers are gone, but you get the message loud and clear, you have to go back.

You decide to wait to tell them till after nationals, you don’t want to further upheave either of their lives right now.

You follow Yuuri to his nationals in Japan, because you’re still keeping up the facade, just for a few more days. Viktor is in Russia doing his own right now, as the two overlap this year. Which is another reason for you to go with Yuuri anyway, because he’s coach-less again.

He does well, maybe not as well as he would if Viktor were here but it’s definitely better than Rostelecom. As he finishes his Free with his arms outstretched towards you again you feel that twinge again, this time worse.

So maybe you’ve fallen for them both a little, but as you sit next to Yuuri in the kiss and cry you think that maybe that’s all the more reason to leave. You don’t wish to get in the way of their happiness. You steel yourself, you’ll tell them as soon as you’re all back in St. Petersburg.

“I need to talk to you both.” You tell them after the three of you finish celebrating their wins over a home cooked dinner.

Both Yuuri and Viktor’s eyes turn to you.

“I’m not attached to you anymore Yuuri, I think I finished being what you needed at the Final.” You take a deep breath.

“I don’t want to impose on your lives any longer than necessary, but I do hope to remain a part of them, in any way you want me too,” You voice shakes slightly, “But I also need to return home. I can’t fully explain why, but I do need to get my things in order. Whatever is left of my old life at this point needs to be cleaned up. And I need documentation, I can’t keep travelling without it, you remember how much hassle it was to get me a pass to Barcelona without proof of my identity? I need to go back.” You finish quietly.

“We’ll go with you,” You meet Yuuri’s eyes in surprise, “If it can wait till after Worlds, we could go with you… if you wanted.”

“Oh, yes I think I’d like that. But it will take me awhile to get my own place here, doing things through official channels always takes a long time, and I have no idea if I even still have any money to speak of…” You trail off.

“I told you you’re welcome here did I not?” Viktor says.

“Yes but-” You reply.

“I didn’t just say it because of Yuuri not being able to go anywhere without you, that offer was to you specifically.” He interrupts.

“But I don’t want to get in the way of… what the two of you have.” You say, face burning.

Viktor and Yuuri’s eyes meet for a long moment, some kind of silent communication.

“Viktor and I have been talking.” Yuuri starts, hesitantly.

“We both have feelings for you.” Viktor says, always the blunt one.

You stare at him in shock, not being able to form enough coherent thought to reply.

“We discussed you, being a part of our relationship, if you want that.” Yuuri offers.

You stare at him, searchingly. You’re not sure what you’re looking for, a joke? A lie?

Yuuri wouldn’t lie about something like this.

“Like… the three of us? The way Chris suggested, I mean the second way Chris suggested.” You amend at Yuuri’s expression.

“Yes.” Viktor’s face is soft and open and…

You want nothing more than that.

“I’d really like that.” You say honestly.

A wide and happy smile breaks out on Viktor’s face and you glance to see a more bashful version of the same expression on Yuuri’s face.

Yuuri reaches out to take your hand and your heart stops for a second. You let out a shaky breath and squeeze his hand. You smile happily at both of them.

Yuuri and Viktor share the podium at Worlds. Viktor takes gold, but what no one expects is how close to beating him Yuuri was. Like with the Final, there’s less than a point difference between them. And it just seems to make Yuuri more determined to win next season.

You leave St. Petersburg three days later, headed for home. Your anxiety slowly mounts from the moment you step into the car heading for the airport until you step out of another in front of a familiar park. You couldn’t entirely explain to either of your boyfriends why you needed to come here, but they didn’t push you for an explanation, they just followed you as a show of support.

You walk through the park, it’s empty, just like that day. And it’s early too. You got in late last night and checked into your room, planning this as your first destination of the day. A strong gust of wind flies through the trees and you approach the spot where you disappeared. You stop, frozen in fear for a moment, scared that it will happen again, but you stay exactly where you are, Yuuri and Viktor’s hands threaded through yours, Yuuri squeezes your hand comfortingly. 

You hear a shout that cuts off abruptly and then the sound of something hitting the ground.

But that was your voice...

You let go of their hands and sprint around the bend to find an empty path, except there’s your phone, laying on the ground

Suddenly a dizziness overtakes you and you sway a little, you feel a pair of arms steady you.

The date that you disappeared comes into focus in your mind.

You had travelled in time, but…

You’d forgotten, whatever did this to you made you forget. Why?

So you wouldn’t try to come back here? So you wouldn’t try to prevent this? Or so you wouldn't not do something else?

You doubt you’ll ever know.

But you step forward and crouch down to pick up your phone from where its laying on the pavement, music still playing from the headphones.

“Well I guess that will make getting my documentation and access to my bank account a little easier.” You say blankly

Viktor just laughs, he laughs and laughs until you can’t help yourself and you’re laughing too.

Your laughter subsides just as his does, and as you look at his smiling face you’re struck with an impulse, you lean forward and kiss him. You pull back to see him blinking in surprise, a smile curves onto his mouth after a moment. 

You glance at Yuuri, his face is flushed and he’s looking between you two, there’s no hint of jealousy in his eyes, if anything there’s heat . You lean over and kiss him too. You pull away after a moment

“Thank you both, thank you so much for everything.”

You look around Viktor's apartment, empty boxes are strewn across the floor. You’re finished unpacking everything, it didn’t take as long as expected, but Yuuri had been a lot of help.

“Y/N.” Yuuri says your name, getting your attention.

He looks nervous.

“Yes?” You reply, a little nervous yourself for reasons you don’t even know.

“Viktor and I,” He pulls out a small box, “Want you to have one as well. It’s always been the three of us, after all. You helped me get to where I am just as much as Viktor did, and you helped us find each other.”

Yuuri opens the box and inside sits a gold ring, identical to the ones Yuuri and Viktor wear. You feel tears coming on.

“T-Thank you.” You choke out.

A different hand reaches out and removes it from the box, you startle and look up to find Viktor looking at you. You hadn’t even realised he was in the room.

He takes your right hand and slips it onto your ring finger. You swallow heavily.

It seems like the right moment to say it, even if you only allowed yourself to admit it just a few days ago.

“I love you, I love you both.” You say through tears.

You feel two sets of arms encircle you in a hug. And you think, maybe, that fate meant for this to happen too.

Fin