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I’ve lived in Arendelle almost all my life. My dad moved here to find a fresh start when his pub got ransacked by a bunch of bandits back in Corona. At least, that’s the story he tells me; I was only three at the time, and I don’t remember much of anything about Corona except something about a missing princess. Now, Dad runs the Bucking Mule Tavern and Alehouse on the outskirts of town near the pass leading up the North Mountain. I used to spend most of my time helping around there when I was younger (when I wasn’t running around the woods trying to find creative ways to break my arms, again according to Dad).
The tavern ended up getting pretty good business. Dad used some of the money to hire more helping hands and send me off to train with the Merchants’ Guild. Turns out I have a knack for the whole trading schtick and, before long, I was running my own little lutefisk business with a big man named Oaken and the family he seems to keep in his sauna.
Honestly, Arendelle’s a nice place. Sure, the winters are long and dark, and it’s certainly on the smaller side as kingdoms go, but it’s got a charm to it. Personally, I chalk it down to the Arendelle being just the right size that everyone’s super friendly out of simple necessity: you just can’t afford to be making enemies with people you’re going to be spending most of your life around. There was that weird episode where the royal castle closed their gates and didn’t reopen them for a decade and a half, but considering that the crown princess turned out to be some kind of winter elemental demigoddess, I’d say the late King and Queen had as good a reason as any to keep the common folk out…
Okay, I will admit, that whole “Great Freeze” business had me pretty worried. On the other hand, I did end up helping a lady home through the blizzard who ended up being the love of my life, so I think it was worth a couple of days fending off hypothermia, all things considered. Besides, that was three years ago, and from what I gather the Queen was just having a really bad nervous breakdown because her sister was trying to marry some guy she’d just met or something. My wife is still terrified of her, but Queen Elsa seems to take after King Agnar, who was definitely one of the better ones as kings go. To be honest, I’m secretly kind of reassured that our queen can bury enemy armies in snow if it ever comes down to it.
Especially now that I have two kids. Hard to believe Dad’s a grandpa now, yeesh does time fly.
I managed to scrounge up enough money to move my growing family into a house in the nicer part of town near the castle, just in time for the kids to get front-row seats to the newly fan-flipping-tastic annual Christmas festivities. Having an ice sorceress as queen definitely has its benefits.
It’s a shame that I have to travel so much for my work, but every few weeks I get to spend a night at home with my darling wife and lovely children. On those nights, life is as good as it gets.
Well, life is as good as it gets when you don’t get woken up in the middle of the night by some amateur aspiring vocalist belting their heart out.
I open my eyes a tiny crack. Maybe I just lost track of time… nope, I can clearly see the moon outside the window. The clock on the wall reads 3AM.
Who in their right mind…
I hear the voice again. It’s a woman’s voice, coming from far enough away that I can’t hear what she’s singing. But there’s definitely no doubt that she is singing. At 3AM.
My daughter starts crying. Damn it. She’s only a year old and the lightest sleeper I’ve ever seen. She also hates being woken up.
I feel my wife stir beside me.
“Honey, what’s that noise?” she murmurs. I throw off the covers with growl.
“I don’t know, but it woke Elouise and that means I’m going to go shut it up,” I grumble as I storm out of the bedroom. I grab my coat from the hanger and kick on my boots before I slam open the door and step out onto the street.
The night’s pretty warm for this time of year, so I only do up the middle button on my jacket as I pace around the block in essentially my pyjamas. I don’t care. Whoever is responsible for waking up my daughter is getting a stern talking-to.
There it is again! I’m realizing that the singing is coming from farther away than I initially thought. I follow the voice a couple more blocks before I come up to the bridge across the fjord leading to the royal castle.
The voice is coming from the castle?
Suddenly, it all makes sense. I roll my eyes to myself. It must be that Princess Anna at it again. Even though it was over three years ago, I distinctly remember her prancing around the town square on coronation day singing something about finding true love while bulldozing over fruit vendors. Completely ridiculous behaviour coming from a grown woman if you ask me, much less from a princess. I’m so glad that the royal tutors seem to have left a much better impact on the Queen. Can you imagine someone like Princess Anna trying to run the country?
I barely even hesitate before starting across the bridge. Chances are I probably know the guards on duty—one of the benefits of living in a small kingdom.
The gates to the castle are open but flanked by two men dressed in stiff green uniforms. As expected, I recognize one of the guards’ faces from under the lip of the comically large hat that he’s wearing. The guards cross their spears in front of the gateway as I walk up to them.
“Castle’s not accepting visitors until eight in the morning,” the one who I don’t recognize states sternly.
I turn to the guy I know, making sure to use my best angry-father voice.
“Oy, Frederik, what’s up with that noise, huh? It’s probably woken half the town!”
This close to the source, I can make out some of the words that the princess is singing.
“Into the unknown, into the unknown… ”
“Why is she saying that? What does that mean?” I demand incredulously.
Frederik sighs.
“Look, don’t go spreading this around, but when Her Majesty is feeling emotional, sometimes she likes to burst into song. There’s really not much any of us can do about it. The good news is she usually stops after a number or two, so this won’t be too much longer.”
My eyebrows just about fly off my forehead.
“That’s the Queen? I thought it was just her sister that lived her life like it was a stage musical!”
“Oh no, it’s the whole royal family,” Frederik replies with pain in his eyes. “Even that ice-harvester fellow, you know, the one who’s courting Princess Anna. You’d think a big, stoic guy like that wouldn’t be so inclined, but I swear he sings to his reindeer like it’s his kid.”
Now I’m thinking that maybe King Agnar had another reason to keep the gates shut. Despite my own frustration, I feel a pang of sympathy for Frederik. He probably has to deal with this on a daily basis, and he clearly did not sign up for this.
“Into the unkno-o-o-own!”
Both guards wince as Queen Elsa, apparently, screams out an even higher melody.
“Why is she repeating that?” I hiss nervously. “Is it some kind of warning?”
“Beats me.” The other guard shrugs. The Queen keeps vocalizing in the distance like she’s been possessed by a siren.
“She’s literally just screaming now!” I exclaim. “Shouldn’t one of you go check on her?”
“Just because it doesn’t have words doesn’t mean it’s not artful,” the unfamiliar guard huffs.
“I think he actually likes it,” Frederik says in a stage-whisper. The other guard crosses his arms.
“Hey, you try hitting those notes,” he retorts defensively. “She’s got a killer voice!”
I knead the bridge of my nose.
“Where are you going, don't leave me alone! How can I follow you…”
“Ah, here comes the finale.” The other guard had closed his eyes with a small smile. Frederik takes it as a warning to plug his ears.
“INTO THE UNKNOOOOOWN!”
Frederik made the right call.
“So… that’s done then?” I ask hesitantly (after my ears stopped ringing). “We’re all good for tonight? It takes an hour to tuck my daughter in, guys, and that’s if I’m lucky.”
Frederik licks his index finger and holds it in the air.
“Yeah, seems like… wait, I’m getting something.”
There’s this shattering sound like breaking glass, except it’s everywhere at once. Suddenly, we’re surrounded by a million perfect crystals of ice, suspended in mid air and glowing like little blue lanterns. I look around slowly before glancing back at the guards.
“Is this part also supposed to happen?” I really don’t like the terrified expressions on their faces.
Frederik, to his credit, manages to answer with a smile.
“Nope. We’re probably screwed.”
As if on cue, the crystals drop out of the air all at once with a sound like a hail of broken wind chimes. The single buttoned button on my coat pops off as the whole thing is almost yanked from my body by sudden gale-force winds. The lights go out all at once. The ground starts shaking beneath my feet and I hear a strange scratchy rumbling sound.
I realize both guards have sunk down into battle stances and are leveling their spears at something behind me.
I turn around to find the cobblestones of the bridge are rippling like they’re alive. Alive and angry.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”