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There was no one in the whole universe quite like him. But even so, some came close. And that’s how Kim Dokja knew his future.
With so many lives and worlds passing him by, it was hard to imagine any sort of fatigue setting into his shoulders. But Kim Dokja knew that it approached. The view from his seat was still the view from a subway car, regardless of how much he loved what he could see outside.
But eternity was a very long time.
It was much longer than a single epilogue.
Still. He knew he needed to continue on. The Oldest Dream was not a position that could be left simply because one longed to. If that were the case, taking it would have been impossible for him. Even as he was.
Still. All beings were still under the domain of time, regardless of how he himself had messed with and been messed with in regard to it. And he had a promise to maintain. Even if it was only to himself.
[Wh at w ill yo u cho o se ?]
The Fourth Wall stumbled the question out.
There was not much of a choice to make. One thing above all others must remain. And… the Dokkaebi King was a perfect example of why it was important.
“I’ll keep my love for the story. After all, I am a reader.”
Plenty of beings that roamed for too long began to decay. That’s what had happened to Secretive Plotter. That’s what happened to all the outer gods. The way to remain yourself at your core… was to find the important thing and never let it go. Like Abyssal Black Flame Dragon did. Like Uriel from the 999th turn did. One had to choose what not to lose.
Kim Dokja had thought he was prepared to lose everything the moment he saw those subway doors close.
He wasn’t.
He lost his memory of his Fables first. His connection to the nebula had broken from the start, but it was not too long before he forgot he had been part of their nebula to begin with. It brought him a smile when he saw that small, new, but strong nebula.
Once, the Fourth Wall spoke to him. But it called him by the name of that nebula. They say that a reader grows to resemble the stories they read, yet it was not the usual joke the Fourth Wall liked to make. It must have realized it without him saying anything, though, because it never again called him by that name.
A woman died. A woman from that nebula. Many grieved, but the leader of the nebula did so in a most peculiar way. Apparently, their relationship had been strange for years. His grief… it held itself in his shoulder, in his silence, in the way he held her hand in her last moments.
The Oldest Dream could feel his own tears match the man’s. He had never been someone that could separate himself from the story he was seeing, after all.
[Do es Kim-]
[Do es Kim Do k ja mak e yo u s ad ?]
“I don’t know. I just think… I would have liked to have known her too. But I can’t imagine actually having her there and still not knowing her?”
“He must have, right? Despite everything, he must have known who she was.”
The elegy Kim Dokja gave her, about knowing her despite and through everything, managed to bring a smile to his face through the tears.
The last things he lost were his modifiers.
When he could finally bring himself to angle away from the window, he saw a strange man reflected back at him.
He looked down at himself, and he could not recognize his clothes. His hands, his shoes, this coat… whose… were they?
“Who… am I?”
There was only a silence in response.
No, there had only ever been silence. There had never been anything to respond there with him.
And that’s when a deep fear came into him. A fear reached into his heart and took hold.
Who was he!? If he didn’t even know who he was, why was he here!? Where was here!? Who put him here!? It was as still as a tomb but, he wasn’t dead yet. He was still alive… wasn’t he?
[Yo u are he re to l ov e]
The sound cut through his sobs. The ringing in his ears managed to tone down, as silence almost filled the car again. Only his gasps could be heard.
“I’m… here to love. I'm.. the one that loves this story the most… That’s why I’m here. That’s why… I’m the oldest dream.
“Who else could I possibly be?
“This is all I could ever possibly amount to.”
It took much more than a millennia for him to break. At that point, he had long forgotten that he had ever been a man. But he never forgot the fear he had felt as a child.
The child looked down at his knees. He was, as always, very much aware of the world outside of this space. This subway car that went and went, but never reached its end.
This subway car that was his end.
He remembered that well. The words in front of his face, that proclaimed “Eternity” as his end. This child knew that there was nothing more from him than what he already had.
That’s why it almost felt blasphemous to say, even in the lonely car lacking a single other soul, that which he wanted so desperately.
“Please. Someone, please save me.” Please let eternity end.
There had been someone he trusted, once upon a time. Hadn’t there been? There had been someone he thought would be able to save him, if only they could be there. If they could only see this person, they knew that they would be able to help them. If they could just… show up… in a subway car… and reach him…
He didn't know anything much. He could only watch and be surprised or not surprised at the things that would happen outside. But when he thought back to hope, when he imagined he was someone that could have that, it always seemed to look like a man. A man from a sweeter dream than the one he was having now.
If it was him... If he was his friend, this man. This man who loves his friends so much exists. He has to.
Yoo Joonghyuk settled himself into the stuffed subway car glancing at the time on his phone. It was not very late yet, but he had never been one to enjoy being dragged by the whims and times of others. Still, it was only a single line between him and his workplace. And with his appearance, it was very rare to have anyone approach him on the street.
It was with such distraction in his mind that he almost missed it when the dokkaebi began to speak.
The Oldest Dream saw a man, and that man gave him hope. And so he did something unforgivable.