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Holy Darkness

Summary:

Poe goes on a mission to destroy a First Order base but when he comes back something's changed. BB-8 and Finn notice a change in his personality, but Poe insists nothing's wrong with him.
(No spoilers for The Rise of Skywalker)

Notes:

Both the plot and title of this fic are loosely inspired by the song 'Meet me in the woods' by Lord Huron.

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The second Poe’s ship flies off base accompanied by two others, Finn is already worrying. He’d asked General Organa to let him go on the mission, but she’d said it was unnecessary and that they needed him on-base to help get the X-Wings operational again. Finn promised himself he’d fix Poe’s X-Wing before Poe got back. It was just about the only thing that kept Finn sane during those four days that Poe was gone. That and Rey. She took his mind off of the worrying most of the time, but at night, when Finn went to bed alone, he couldn’t stop the thoughts of Poe dying or getting captured by the Order. 

So, when Poe landed on day four, Finn was there on the landing strip waiting for him. The minute he stepped off the plane Finn’s arms were around him. Poe chuckled dryly and hugged Finn back.

“God, I missed you,” Finn breathes out before capturing Poe’s lips in a searing kiss. 

Poe leans into him. 

“I missed you, too,” he whispers before letting out a long, painful breath. Finn notices the small flinch and looks over Poe’s body. 

“Are you hurt?”

“Just a few bruises,” Poe assures him. “That’s the price of war, I guess.” That was the lowest price of this kind of war. 

Finn exhales and kisses him again. Beside Poe’s leg, BB-8 makes a string of whirring noises. Finn smiles down at the bot. 

“I missed you, too, BB.”

BB-8 beeps happily before rolling away, Finn guessed to find Rey. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d come back,” he says honestly, turning back to Poe. “It was only supposed to be a two day mission.”

“We ran into trouble near Onderon and had to hide out on Polvora before getting to the First Order base.”

Finn nods his head. “Either way, I’m glad you’re back.”

Poe matches Finn’s excited smile. “Me, too.”



In the makeshift mess hall under a tent, the entire base crammed inside to celebrate the return of the rebels who’d gone on the mission. There was a mixture of relieved families, anxious lovers, and those joyous over their friends return. 

Poe sat at a long table with Finn, Rey, Rose, Leia, Chewy, and Connix. His hand found its place on Finn’s knee, rubbing small circles as he talked with his friends and comrades. He learned that Rey and Rose had grown quite close in a short amount of time, and that they blushed every time the other made a friendly joke or quip directed at them. It was endearing to witness a blooming friendship that quite possibly had the potential to turn into something else. 

Poe also noticed the way Finn leaned into him just the slightest every time Poe spoke, even if he wasn’t talking to Finn. He noticed the way Finn’s hand went from resting on top of the table to the small of Poe’s back, and the way Finn kept shooting him quick, inconspicuous glances. 

Poe got the message loud and clear. A slight tingle coursed through him as he slid his hand up Finn’s leg, resting it on his inner thigh. Finn jerked his leg, knocking it on the table. Everyone looks at him in question. 

“Are you alright?” Rey asks. Finn nods and clears his throat. 

“Yeah, just got a chill. I think I’m gonna head inside.” He stands and smiles at his friends. 

“I’ll go with you,” Poe says, already standing up. The rest of the group goes back to their conversation and Finn and Poe walk to their quarters. 

When they’re out of ear shot, Finn elbows Poe and Poe laughs loudly. 

“I can’t believe you gave me a boner during dinner!” Finn whisper-yells. That only makes Poe laugh more. Finn breaks out smiling and kisses Poe when they get to their door. He presses Poe against the wall, bunching his fists in Poe’s shirt. Poe leans his head against the wall and closes his eyes as he lets out a breathy moan. Finn trails kisses down his neck, gently nipping at his skin. 

“We gonna fuck right here or go inside?” Poe asks with a weak chuckle. Finn smirks and gets a hand under Poe’s shirt, splaying it across his chest. Poe grabs Finn’s shirt and forcefully pulls him closer, kissing him till he’s numb. 

“Let’s go,” Finn breathes against Poe’s lips as he reaches for the doorknob. Poe grins and lets himself be pulled inside. 

 

Finn walks directly behind Poe, covering his eyes as they enter the hanger. 

“Is covering my eyes really necessary?” Poe asks with slight disdain. 

“Yes,” Finn insists. Poe would’ve rolled his eyes if he could. 

Finn stops and uncovers Poe’s eyes. Poe grins when he sees his fully operational X-Wing. He turns and looks at Finn. 

“You did this?”
Finn nods his head. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

Finn shrugs. “I thought it’d be nice to have it all fixed up for you when you came back.” 

For some reason, Poe had a hard time believing that Finn didn’t have an ulterior motive to fixing his ship. He didn’t voice his concerns, however.

“Thank you,” he says with a convincing smile. “I love you.”

Finn smiles and kisses him. “I love you, too.” He pats Poe’s chest before taking a step back. “Did Leia tell you we found new volunteers when you were gone?”

Poe nods his head. “Yeah. We talked about it at dinner last night.”

“Well, guess who’s in charge of training them?”

Poe raises a brow. “Really? You should consider it an honor. Leia only lets people she trusts train new people.”

Finn smiles sarcastically. “I’m honored.”

Poe chuckles and kisses him. “Go on then. Leave me alone to test drive my ship; make sure you didn’t completely fuck it up.”

Finn smiles genuinely this time and begins walking backwards. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Poe’s smile fades as Finn turns and walks away. 



Poe screams out with glee as he free falls through the air in his X-Wing, plummeting towards the ground. At the last second, he pulls the controls and soars towards the sky. He turns three hundred sixty degrees and pulls the controls towards himself so he flips through the air. Adrenaline pumps through his veins as he flies closer to the ground. Where he would normally pull up to avoid crashing to his death, he waited five more seconds. When he finally does pull up, the X-Wing just barely scrapes the ground, leaving behind a trail of dust and dirt. 

“Whoo!” Poe yells as he does another flip. His heart pounded against his ribcage so hard he feared it might beat right out of his chest. He took a breath, still grinning ear to ear. 

When he turns around, he sees the rebel base hidden inside the caves of Crait. His finger hovers over the weapons controls, and he found himself wondering what kind of damage an X-Wing could do to a small rebel base like this one. It was an intrusive, unprompted thought. 

“What the hell?” Poe mutters to himself, pulling his hand away from the controls. He flies back down to the base and climbs out of the plane, tossing his helmet aside. BB-8 is waiting for him, beeping when he climbs out of the cockpit. 

“I’m fine,” Poe grunts. The bot follows him through the base, issuing a string of concerned beeps. Poe ignores it until eventually it gives a single beep and rolls away. Poe thinks nothing of it and continues through the base till he finds Finn in front of a barricade of large boulders, training the new volunteers in hand-to-hand combat. He stands back a ways and crosses his arms across his chest, watching Finn and the rest of them carefully. Most of them seemed skilled enough already. They were most likely ex scavengers or people who’d had to fight their whole life just to survive. 

Poe couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how easy it would be for any one of them to deflect to the First Order and give away the location of this base. The thought made him weary of any new recruits. 

After a few minutes, Finn notices him standing there and tells the trainees to keep working before he walked towards Poe. 

“Hey,” he says when he’s close enough. Poe gives a nod of acknowledgment. 

“Did you test drive the X-Wing?”

Poe’s mind goes back to that strange moment when he’d almost pressed the weapons button. Maybe he should keep that to himself. It’s not like he was going to do it. 

“Yeah,” he answers, and Finn smiles. 

“Did I completely fuck it up?” he asks teasingly. Poe shakes his head. 

“No. No, you did good.”

Finn’s brows wrinkle a little. He’d expected Poe to reciprocate the playfulness, but he didn’t dwell on it. 

“Is Leia gonna let you take it on missions again?” 

Poe shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Probably.”

Finn tilts his head to the side. “Are you ok? You seem distracted.”

Poe shakes his head and exhales. “Just tired. I didn’t get much sleep those four days on mission.” A small smirk makes its way to his face. “And I didn’t get much sleep last night, either.”

Finn chuckles and lowers his head as warmth creeps onto his cheeks. Poe smiles lovingly at him. “I’ll let you get back to training, I have to talk with Leia, anyways.”

Finn nods his head and gives Poe a quick kiss before running back to the recruits. 

 

BB-8 rolls through the sand, beeping at people who walk by. Most of them can’t understand binary and just ignore the bot, letting it go on it’s way. When it enters the hanger and finds Rey helping Rose fix the Falcon , it lets out a string of rapid, urgent beeps. 

Rey crouches down in front of it. 

“BB-8, what’s the matter?” she asks gently. A few quick whirs and beeps follow. 

“What’s he saying?” Rose asks from behind Rey. 

“Poe?” Rey asks, furrowing her brows. “What about Poe?”

“Is something wrong?” Rose asks. Rey looks up at her. 

“I don’t know. BB-8 thinks there’s something wrong with Poe.”

“Like what?” Rose crouches beside Rey. “Is he ok?” she asks the bot, to which he replies with two beeps. Rose looks to Rey for translation. 

“He says Poe’s acting strange. Not like himself.”

“Should we tell someone?”

Rey shakes her head. “I don’t know. Maybe something happened on the mission and he won’t talk about it.”

“Maybe we should ask him about it,” Rose suggests. “Just to put BB-8 at ease.”

Rey nods her head. “I’ll ask him tonight.” She smiles down at BB-8. “Would you like to stay here and help Rose and I repair the ship?”
BB-8 whirs excitedly, rolling his head around. Rose laughs despite not being able to understand binary. Rey can’t help but stare, and when Rose catches her, she blushes and looks away. Rey’s cheeks fill with color when BB-8 beeps suggestively. 

“Shut up,” she tells the bot with soft sternness. 

“What did he say?” Rose asks. 

“Nothing,” Rey says with a shake of her head. 



Poe enters the mess hall that night, eyes scanning the area for Finn. He was nowhere to be found, and Poe guessed he was still with the new recruits. He turned to leave, he wasn’t really hungry anyways, and if Finn wasn’t here he found no reason to stay. 

“Poe!” He turns at the mention of his name. Rey smiles back at him. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Poe asks, and Rey shrugs. 

“I just wanted to check on you. We didn’t really get to talk after you got back yesterday.” She purses her lips. “Are you alright?”
Poe gives her a confused look. “Of course I am. What makes you think I’m not?” His voice held more defensiveness than he’d intended. 

“Nothing,” Rey lies. “Just wondering.”

He gives her a small smile. “Thanks for worrying.”

She nods her head and he turns again and walks back to his quarters. Rey watches as he goes, not fully convinced he was telling the truth. 



Poe lies awake that night, staring at the ceiling. Beside him, Finn sleeps soundly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. Poe listens to Finn’s breathing for awhile until he can’t take it anymore. He rolls over and climbs out of the bed, making sure to be quiet as he opens the door and walks into the fresh air. 

During the night time all the lights on the base where turned off so as to not draw unwanted attention. By now Poe knew his way around pretty well, even in the dark. 

He crept through the base till he was outside of the tents. Then he climbed up the steep side of the cave and sat on top, looking out at the open sky of glistening stars. From here, the galaxy seemed infinite, and all Poe wanted to do was fight back till it didn’t feel so monumental; till he felt bigger than it. 

 

“Poe. Poe, wake up.”

Poe opens his eyes to find Finn standing above him. The sun is shining in his eyes and he has to squint to look at Finn. 

“I’m awake,” Poe says. Finn kneels beside him and kisses him, keeping a hand on the back of Poe’s neck. A sharp pain shoots through Poe’s abdomen. He gasps and pulls away, looking down at the blood-soaked dagger Finn was holding. His body goes into shock as Finn gently lays him down on the ground. He looks up, eyes blown wide. 

“Finn,” he manages to say weakly. Finn looks down at him, emotionless. 

“This is why you don’t trust people, Poe. This is why you don’t love people. It’s a weakness that will cost you your life one day.”



“Poe!” Finn shakes Poe’s shoulder lightly. Poe wakes with a start, sitting up and backing away from Finn. “What the hell?” Finn asks. “What are you doing out here?”

Poe’s breathing becomes irregular. He grabs his throat and gasps. Finn’s face scrunches with worry. “Poe? Are you ok?”

Poe closes his eyes and takes two long breaths. Images of his dream flash behind his eyes. His lower abdomen aches where Dream Finn had stabbed him. 

“I’m ok,” he says after a minute. “I’m ok.”

Finn wasn’t convinced. “Why were you out here?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Poe answers honestly. “I came out here and must have fallen asleep. Sorry if I scared you.”

“It’s ok,” Finn says. “I’m just glad you’re ok.”

Poe covers the part of his stomach that ached. “Yeah, me too.”

Finn looks at him for a moment. There was obviously something he wasn’t telling him. He wondered if Poe had seen something during the mission, something that scarred him. 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Finn asks, biting the inside of his bottom lip. Poe looks up and nods his head, his expression faltering for a split second. 

“Yeah. I promise.”

Finn’s gut twists with a strange feeling. He realizes with a start what the feeling is. Distrust. For the first time since he’d met Poe, he didn’t believe a word coming out of his mouth. 



They go about their day, dancing around each other whenever they accidentally bump into each other on base. The distance between them bothered Finn. They had never been this timid around each other. But Poe was lying about something, and it made Finn uneasy knowing it was that easy for Poe to lie to him. 



“Alright,” Rey says, holding up a blue wire for Rose to see. “where’s this one go?”

Rose looks up and giggles. She takes the wire from Rey’s hand and connects it to the control panel. 

“Right there.”

Rey’s cheeks flush pink. “You’re quite good at this.”

Rose smiles and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thanks.”

“Really,” Rey says. “It’s impressive.”

“Not as impressive as being a Jedi,” Rose replies, to which Rey smiles shyly. 

“I beg to differ.”

Rose looks down and continues her work, occasionally pushing the loose strand of hair framing her face behind her ear. When the strand slips back in place, Rey reaches over and brushes it away. Rose lifts her head and looks at Rey with a gentle gaze. She thinks she should say something, though she’s not sure what. 

“Rose--” Rey is cut off when Finn bursts into the cockpit. He sees the position they’re in and stutters an apology. Rey pulls her hand away and clears her throat. 

“Hey, we’re just fine tuning the controls,” she says, plastering on a smile. 

“I can come back,” Finn says awkwardly. 

“No, stay,” Rose says. Finn looks between them for a second. 

“Ok.”

“You seem troubled,” Rey says. “What’s wrong?”
Finn hesitates. “Did Poe talk to either of you about the mission after he got back?”

They shake their heads in unison. “No.”

“Is he acting strange?” Rey asks. 

Finn’s eyebrows furrow. “Did you notice something?”

Rey sighs and shrugs helplessly. “BB-8 was worried yesterday. He said Poe was acting strange. I confronted Poe about it and he said he was fine. I didn’t think there was anything to worry about.”

Finn worries the inside of his bottom lip. “Do you think he’s keeping something from us?”

“Do you ?” Rose asks. Finn looks at her with intensity for a long moment. 

“Yes,” he decides. 

A sense of finality settled in the room that chilled Finn to his core. His and Poe’s entire relationship from the beginning was built on trust. Poe had trusted Finn to get him off the First Order ship and in turn, Finn had trusted Poe not to shoot him for being First Order scum. 

Now, Finn didn’t know if Poe trusted him anymore if he was unwilling to share whatever it was he was keeping secret. The thought scared him, but what scared him even more was the fact that he knew he could no longer believe Poe. 

 

Finn avoided going to bed that night. He knew he’d have to face Poe again, and he knew he’d have to be lied to again. He wasn’t sure if he could handle that right now. 

So, instead of going to bed, he busied himself with trying to fix an old, inoperable bot he’d found. It was a bust, and he ended up throwing a wrench across the room. It landed inches from a pair of boots. 

Finn looks up and sighs as Poe picks up the wrench. 

“If you wanted me to leave you could've just said so,” Poe jokes. Finn swallows the lump in his throat. 

“I didn’t realize you were there.”

Poe walks to him and sets the wrench down on the workbench. 

“Why are you still up?”

“I wasn’t tired,” Finn lies. Poe eyes him carefully. 

“What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing.” and as much as he hated how easy it was for Poe to lie to him, he thinks he hated even more how easy it was for him to lie to Poe. 

“Really,” Poe says quietly. “what’s wrong?”

Finn sighs and runs his hands over his face. He looks back up, meeting Poe’s eyes.
“Something happened on the mission and I know you’re lying to me. You’ve been acting weird and distant, and I just need to know that you’re ok.”

Poe’s expression softens and he takes Finn’s hands in his. “I promise I’m ok.”

“You’re not acting ok.”

Poe sighs. “You know the deal, Finn. We go on these missions and we see some fucked up stuff, and we have to carry that with us for the rest of our lives. I’m no different than everyone else on this base, and it never gets easier.”

Finn closes his eyes and presses their foreheads together. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I should have understood why you were being distant. It’s hard to come back and act like everything’s normal after seeing some of the things we see.”

“Don’t apologize,” Poe says. “Sometimes it’s just hard to talk about.”

Finn nods his head and whispers, “I know” before kissing Poe softly. 

“Will you come to bed now?” Poe asks. Finn smiles and nods his head, following Poe to their quarters. 



Poe has the same dream about Finn stabbing him. But this time Leia is there too, watching, just letting it happen. Poe wakes in a cold sweat and looks at Finn, curled into himself on the other side of the bed. He screws his eyes shut and holds either side of his head, willing away the images of his dream. 



Poe’s still thinking about the dream the next day. He zones out while in a strategy meeting about their next mission, flinching when a hand lands on his arm. He looks up as Leia retracts her arm.
“Poe, is something wrong?”

Poe shakes his head. “No, just thinking.”

“Do you have something you want to add?”

He looks at the expectant faces of his comrades and hesitantly shakes his head. “No, General.”

Leia arches a brow at him before turning back continuing. 

From across the table, Finn watches Poe wearily. He was still acting strange. It’s not like he’s expected Poe to be back to normal so soon, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. 

 

It had been four days since Poe came back, and he was starting to act more like himself again. Finn supposed he just needed some time to recover from whatever it was that he saw over there. He fully understood being messed up for a few days after a battle or a particularly emotional mission. They were only human, after all, they were entitled to feel these things. 

 

Finn grunts as he ducks out of the way of Poe’s staff. He retreats, gets his bearings, and strikes back. Poe halts Finn’s staff mid-air with his own and pushes back, forcing Finn onto the ground. Finn jumps up before Poe can strike again. Their staffs clash against each other repeatedly. 

“Ready to give up?” Finn asks breathlessly. Poe yells out as he swings his staff. It connects with Finn’s and a loud crack echoed throughout the room. The vibration from the strike travels up Finn’s arms, causing him to drop his staff. It rolls across the floor behind Poe, well out of Finn’s reach. Poe seizes the opportunity and takes a swing at Finn. At the last second, Finn somersaults out of the way and grabs his staff, quickly turning and striking Poe in the back of the knees. Poe yells out in pain as he falls to the ground. Finn stands over him, pinning him to the floor. 

Poe’s heart speeds up, and he can’t quite decipher what he’s feeling as he looks up at Finn, but whatever it is, it makes him fight back. He screams out in rage and raises his staff. It connects perfectly with Finn’s left cheekbone. Finn falls backwards and cries out in pain. Poe quickly sits up and rushes to Finn’s side. 

“Fuck, Finn, are you ok?”
Finn holds his face and groans. He’d had much worse, but never from sparring, and especially not from sparring with Poe. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Finn. I didn’t mean to do that,” Poe says desperately.

Finn’s head felt like it could split in two. 

“Should I bring you to the medical tent?”

Finn shakes his head. “I’ll be ok.”

Poe sits back helplessly. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know,” Finn says. “It’s ok.” He’s still covering his left eye. “Could you just help me up?”

Poe stands and gently pulls Finn to his feet. 

“You should get some rest.”

“I’ll be fine,” Finn insists. 

“Finn, I’m serious. Take it easy for the rest of the day.”

Finn looks at Poe with his one good eye and nods his head. “Ok.”

He allows Poe to bring him to their quarters and promises he’ll stay there before Poe leaves. 



The second Poe closes his and Finn’s door behind him he exhales heavily. He couldn’t believe he’d done that. He could have seriously hurt Finn, and the worst part was that in the moment, when it had happened, he thought he was doing the right thing. He thought he was protecting himself by hurting Finn. He’d never had thoughts like that before. He could never knowingly hurt Finn; not under any circumstance. Yet he had done it. He had consciously hurt Finn, and deep inside, he wasn’t that sorry. Sure, he’d acted it, he had to, but really, he didn’t regret it. Finn had almost won, and Poe couldn’t let that happen. 

 

Rey gasps when she sees Finn the next day. She reaches up, gently touching the bruise that had formed on his cheek and around his eye. 

“What happened?” she asked worriedly. Finn pulls back self consciously. 

“I was sparring with Poe and he accidentally hit me.”

Rey furrows her brows in concern. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” Finn assures her. “I’ve had worse.”

“It looks like it hurts.”

“It does.”

Rey gives him a sympathetic look. “Is Poe doing ok now?”
“I’m not sure...” Finn trails off as his eyes drift over Rey’s shoulder. Rey follows his gaze. 

Across the room, Poe is in an argument with another pilot. They can’t hear the argument, but it looks intense. 

“We should step in,” Rey suggests. Finn was already walking quickly towards Poe and the pilot to break them up before it got violent. He steps between the two men, placing his hand on Poe’s chest to hold him back. Poe swats at his hand and glares at the other man. 

“What the hell?” Finn asks, looking between them. 

“He’s a traitor!” Poe spits. Finn looks to the other man and tilts his head in question.

“I’m loyal to the Rebellion,” the man says. “Your friend thinks I sabotaged his ship.”

“Why would you do that?” Finn asks. 

“I didn't!” the man says. “He just accused me out of nowhere.”

Finn turns back to look at Poe. 

“Would you just explain to me what the hell this is all about?”

“He cut a hole in the fuel line. If i had flown in that thing I would’ve died.”

“Why would he do that? Why would he want you dead, Poe?”

“Cause he’s working for The Order.”

Finn squints. “How do you know that?”

“Enough!” a voice bellows. Everyone stops and looks towards Leia. She frowned deeply as she approached them. “Does someone want to tell me what’s going on here?”
Everyone started talking at once, telling their side of the story. When Leia raised her hand, the room grew silent. “Poe,” she says. “Tell me what happened.”

“I walked into the hanger this morning and found Deon messing with my X-Wing.”

Leia looks to Finn with a brow raised in question. 

Finn hesitates before he speaks. He shifts his focus from Leia to Poe, then back to Leia. 

“I--I don’t think that’s what happened, General.”

Poe looks incredulously at Finn. “You don’t believe me?”

“Stop it,” Leia says, calm but stern. 

“I believe that you think he did it.”

“Don’t fucking patronize me right now,” Poe says with a scoff. 

“Stop it!” Leia shouts. Again, the room grows silent. “The small piece of the Rebellion that’s left won’t be torn apart because of men’s egos.”

Poe balls his hands into fists. “I’m practically your son and you believe them over me?”

“Go to your quarters before I ban you from the hanger,” Leia says, still managing to maintain her calm composure. Poe clenches his jaw and pushes past her as he storms out of the room. Leia closes her eyes and sighs.

BB-8 rolls over and bumps her leg. She looks down at the bot. 

“What is it, BB?”

He lets out a string of beeps and whirs. When he’s done, Leia sighs in resignation. 

“What’d he say?” Finn asks. Leia looks at him with something like pity. Whatever it was, Finn guessed it wasn’t good news. 





It took a minute for Finn to catch up, and when he did, he grabbed Poe’s arm and forced him to turn around. Poe looks at him with contempt and pulls his arm from Finn’s grip. 

“Don’t tell me you’re mad at me too.”

“Look, I don’t know what the fuck happened to you or what you saw on that mission, but you can’t go around trying to turn the base on an innocent man.”

“How do you know he’s innocent?” Poe asks, his voice raising just the slightest. “Why do you trust his word over mine?”

“BB-8 saw you cut the fuel line.”

Poe’s face falls. 

“So you can drop it,” Finn says. “Going through traumatic shit doesn’t give you the right to fuck with other people’s lives.”

Poe clenches his teeth. His fingers danced at his side, hovering over his knife holster. 

“I really want to help you, Poe, but I can’t if you keep lying and pulling shit like this.”

Suddenly something inside Poe snaps. He draws his dagger and lunges for Finn. The two fall to the floor, Poe on top. He holds the dagger up before plunging it downwards. Finn stops it with his hands and pushes back with all his strength. 

“Rey!” He screams. Poe grunts as he tries to push the dagger down. “Rey!” Finn screams again. All Poe hears is footsteps before he’s being thrown against a wall and knocked unconscious. 

Rey runs towards Finn and kneels down beside him. 

“Are you ok?” she gasps. Finn sits up, a look of utter shock on his face. 

“I’m not hurt.” He looks towards Poe’s limp body. 

“What the hell was that?” Rey demands. “He tried to kill you.”

“That’s not Poe,” Finn says. “That’s not the real Poe.”

“Look at him!” Rey exclaims. “It’s Poe.”

“No, the real Poe would never do that. I know him, Rey. This isn’t Poe.”

Rey looks at Finn for a minute before making her decision. “Let’s get him to the med tent. They can figure out if anything’s wrong with him.”

Finn breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

 

Finn’s heart broke as he looked at Poe, still unconscious, strapped to an exam table. Leia had ordered the restraints incase he woke up and became violent.

Finn watched from a distance as they ran extensive tests on him. Finally, Leia came to him with news. Finn almost wished she hadn’t. 

“Do you know what it is?” he asks. She looks at him grimly. 

“They found a parasite inside of him.”

Finn’s forehead wrinkles in confusion. “A parasite?”

Leia nods her head. “Yes. we don’t know how long it’s been there or how long we have until it kills him.”

“No! Poe is not dying. We can figure out what to do.”

“Finn, I don’t know if we can do anything.”

“We have a lot of brilliant people here, someone must know something about this.”

Leia sighs. “I’ll call a meeting and we can try to figure it out.”



Leia and Finn gather everyone inside the cave and explain what happened and why Poe acted the way he did. 

“Poe Dameron is a good man,” Leia says. “And it would be a damn shame if the Resistance had to lose him this soon. So, if any of you know anything about how to deal with this, please help us.”

As if on cue, Finn is hit with a sudden realization. 

“Paranoia,” he says. Everyone looks at him, expecting some followup. “The parasite instilled paranoia in him. He was paranoid when I fixed his ship, and again when we were sparring.” Finn’s eye twitches at the recent, still painful memory. “Then it tried turning us against each other. It cut the fuel line in Poe’s ship and then blamed Deon. It was trying to tear us apart.”

Rose raises her hand shyly. 

“Did Poe ever say what planet they hid out on before bombing the First Order base?”

Finn knew Poe had said it when he got back, but he was having a hard time recalling. 

“Polvora,” he says after a minute. Rose’s face lights up. 

“I don’t know much about it, but Polvora has a species of parasite called Lecdians that infiltrate a host and pretty much take over their body within a few days. It creates so much paranoia that eventually the host’s heart gives out.”

The entire room falls silent, and Rose hoped she hadn’t said too much. 

“What does it want?” Rey asks. “Is it being utilized by The First Order to tear apart the Rebellion?”

Rose shakes her head. “It doesn’t have a reason. It just wants chaos.” 

“We can still save him,” Finn says, unwilling to give up. “Do you know how to kill it?”

Rose wrings her hands anxiously. “Electrocution could work, but it might also kill Poe.”

Finn sighs and runs his hands over his face. “Is there any other way?”

“Dehydration,” Rose says with a weak shrug. “The parasite needs a healthy host to live in, so if we dehydrate him, the Lecdian might leave.”

“That could still kill him.”

“It’s safer than electrocution,” Leia says, placing a gentle hand on Finn’s arm. “We don’t have any other choices, Finn. We have to do this.”

Finn knew she was right, but he still hated the idea. He looks at Leia for a moment before turning to Rose. 

“How do we do this?”

“I don’t know. We have to get him somewhere hot enough to flush it out. We don’t have anywhere like that.”

“Yes we do,” Rey says, coming to stand by Rose. “The engine room on the Falcon gets hot enough. We could lock him up in there.”

A sour taste filled Finn’s mouth at the suggestion. It was a good idea, and had the potential to work, but it didn’t change the fact that this was Poe they were talking about, and this might kill him if they didn’t do it right. 

“We would need someone to stay with him during the process to make sure he doesn’t escape or die,” Rose says. 

“I’ll do it,” Finn and Leia say at the same time. They lock eyes and Leia clears her throat. 

“A word, Finn?” She walks off to the side and Finn follows her. “I think it’s better if I do it,” Leia tells him quietly. 

“No, it has to be me.”

“Finn, you’re too close to Poe to do this.”

“I can do it,” Finn insists. “Let me do it.”

Leia sighs. “If it comes down to it, if something goes wrong, do you really think you’d be able to do what’s necessary?”
“Are you talking about killing Poe?”
Leia swallows. “If the Lecdian completely takes him over before we can flush it out, there’s no getting him back, and he’ll die a painful death.”

Finn fixes her with a hard stare. “I can do it. If it helps the Resistance stay in one piece, I can do it.”

Leia lowers her head and exhales. “Alright. I trust you.” She begins walking back to the group, Finn following behind her. 

“We need to get the Falcon off base and in the air. Rey, you’ll pilot, Finn will stay with Poe, and Rose, you will be on standby to help if things get out of control.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” Rey asks. Leia squares her jaw. 

“Then we’ll do what we have to do.”



Poe fights it the entire time. He screams when Leia orders two men to bring him to the Falcon. 

Once on board, they force him down into the engine room and secure him to a pipe. 

Finn stands back wearily as he watches the two men tie up a screaming Poe. 

“You alright from here?” one of the men asks. Finn nods his head. 

“Yeah.”

They climb back up the ladder and disappear. Rose peeks her head down the open hatch. 

“We have to close you inside to keep the heat in, but if you need us we’re right here, ok?”

“Ok.” Finn looks at Poe, who had finally calmed down. “Close it,” he says to Rose. She shuts the hatch with a loud clang. Finn sits across from Poe, making sure he was out of reach. He looks at Poe wearily, barely recognizing the man he adored. 

After a minute, Poe begins to laugh. Finn glares at him, but doesn’t say a word. 

“You know why they put you down here with me, right?”

Finn puts a hand on his blaster, a silent warning. 

“You’re expendable,” Poe says simply. “The Resistance can still go on without you. Now, if they lost someone like Rey or Leia, the Resistance would be doomed. But you? You’re a lackey. Just another disposable body.”

Finn’s hand tightens around his blaster. He knew this wasn’t Poe, but it still stung coming from his mouth. 

“This was my choice,” Finn says.

Poe laughs again. “Right. Because you love him?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Poe admits. “Because it’s such a trivial emotion.”

Finn swallows and stays silent. He didn’t see the point in arguing with this thing. 

 

Hours pass, and Poe continues to taunt Finn. The engine room grows hotter with every passing second. 

Finn takes a sip of water from his canteen and secures the lid, setting it down beside him. He looks at Poe, trying to hide the worry he felt. Poe’s face was growing pale, and his eyes were sunken. He’s been quiet for the past few minutes. Finn hoped that was a sign that the Lecdian was getting weaker. 

Poe catches Finn looking at him and smirks. 

“Ready to give up?”

Finn clenches his jaw but remains silent and impassive. 

“You’re going to kill him,” Poe says. “If you keep this up he dies. Is that what love is? Letting the person you claim you’d do anything for die?”

“If I let you stay inside him, he dies.”

“I don’t really see a situation where he doesn’t die.”

Finn trains his eyes on the ground. “I won’t let that happen.”

“You can’t stop it,” Poe spits. “You’re helpless, Finn. Just a lost stormtrooper trying to find his place in the Rebellion. Guess what, Finn? There is no place for you here. You don’t belong anywhere. You are nobody, and your presence here changes nothing.”

“Stop it,” Finn growls. Poe grins, knowing he could get a rise out of Finn if he kept going. 

“What role do you play here? Poe’s the pilot, Rey’s a Jedi, Rose is a mechanic, Leia’s the leader. So what are you? A body they send into war to die so that they don’t have to.”

“Stop it!” Finn yells. He pulls his blaster from its holster and points it at Poe, who just laughs at him. 

“You’re not going to shoot me. You can’t.”

Finn swallows his anger and puts the blaster away. He stands and climbs the ladder, knocking on the hatch. 

“It’s Finn. Let me up.”

The hatch opens and Finn climbs up, collapsing onto the floor. The cool air greeted his burning skin, giving his mind some much needed clarity. 

“What happened?” Rose asks as she shuts the hatch. “Did you kill it?”

Finn closes his eyes and places a hand on his chest. 

“I need a break, it’s too hot.”

Rose nods her head. “Ok, let me stay with him for awhile.”

Finn sits up, breathing heavily as he grabs for Rose’s arm. “Don’t talk to him. It’ll get under your skin and manipulate you.”

Rose gently pulls her arm from Finn’s grip. “Ok,” she says softly before opening the hatch. She disappears inside the engine room and Finn lets out a long, stressful breath. 

 

Rose carefully walks around Poe and takes a seat across from him, hand on her blaster. 

Poe laughs when he sees her. 

“Did Finn need a little break?” he asks in a patronizing tone. Rose doesn’t answer, just stares blankly at him. 

“He told you not to talk, didn’t he?”

Rose maintains her icy stare. 

“You just do anything he asks, don’t you?” Poe tilts his head to the side and smiles knowingly. “I know you love him, Poe knows too.”

Rose swallows. 

“He loves you, too,” Poe says after a few moments. “But not the way you love him. Not with the same burning you feel inside everytime you look at him.”

“Not anymore,” Rose says. “I don’t love him anymore.”

“But you would if you had the chance. If Poe was gone, you’d go running back to Finn.” Poe smirks. “Why not kill him now so you and Finn can live happily ever after?”

“I would never do that,” Rose says. “I love Poe, and there’s nothing you can say to turn me against him.”

“What if I told you he doesn’t like you? That he’d be glad if you just left so he didn’t have to worry about Finn leaving him for you.”

“That’s not true,” Rose says, anger boiling in her chest. 

“No?” Poe asks with an arched brow. “You really think Poe would be heartbroken if you were gone?”
“Stop.”

“You know it’s true,” Poe says. “He was livid when he heard you kissed Finn. He hates you for taking Finn’s attention away from him.”

“I know you’re lying so you can just drop it,” Rose says coldly. “Poe is one of the best people I know. You’re trying to pull us apart and it won’t work.”

Poe laughs quietly. “I guess you’re stronger than he gave you credit for.”

Rose tightens her grip on her blaster. She knew better than to engage further. 



Two hours later a banging on the hatch alerted Finn. 

“It’s Rose”

Finn sits forward and opens the hatch for her. 

“Anything?” he asks as she climbs up, breathing heavily. The air down there was too thick to breathe properly. 

“It’s still in there.” Rose slumps against the wall, downing the rest of her canteen. She gives Finn a look of defeat. “Finn, I don’t know if this is gonna work.” Tears form in her eyes, but she refuses to cry. “It’s stronger than I thought.”

“It’ll work,” Finn says stubbornly. “It has to.”

“I want it to,” Rose says. “Believe me, I do. But that’s not Poe down there, and if we don’t get that thing out of him soon he’ll die. And it’ll be long and painful. He doesn’t deserve that.” 

Finn shakes his head, unwilling to believe her. “No. We have to make this work. We can’t just let him die.” 

Rose lowers her head and sighs. “What do you think he’d want us to do?”

“He’d want us to fight.”

Rose looks up, worrying the inside of her bottom lip. “How about we ask him.”

Finn’s brows furrowed in confusion. “We can’t exactly walk down there and talk to Poe. He’s practically gone.”

“What if we impede the parasite? Just long enough to talk to Poe for a minute and figure out what to do.”

“How do we do that?” Finn guessed it wouldn’t be painless for Poe. 

“I know you’re gonna say no at first, but just hear me out,” Rose says carefully. Finn gestures for her to continue. “We can give him a light shock. It might hinder the Lecdian for a few minutes.”

“He’s already so weak,” Finn says. “What if it kills him.”

“Let me do it,” Rose pleads. “I don’t want you to lose him.”

Finn looks at her for a long, intense moment. There was a sort of determination in Rose’s eyes that made up Finn’s mind. 

“Ok,” he decides. “Let’s do it.”

 

Finn and Rose climb down the hatch together, making sure to keep it unlocked so they could climb back up later. They’d opted against letting other people in on their plan, knowing everyone else would try to talk them out of it. 

When they get to the bottom of the ladder they find Poe still tied to the pipe, head lowered so his chin rested on his chest. 

“Is he unconscious?” Rose asks. Finn crouches down and shakes Poe. 

“Shit,” he says as panic crawls up his spine. “Poe, wake up.” Finn slaps him across the face and he jolts awake with a gasp. His eyes are bloodshot and sunken into their sockets. His skin had turned a light gray color that made Finn sick. He looked like he was on the verge of death. 

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Rose says nervously. “He looks pretty bad already.”

Finn stands and gently grabs Rose by the arms, looking into her eyes. “We have to, Rose. We can’t turn back, ok?”

She nods her head and swallows. “Ok,” she whispers. Finn exhales and lets go of her arms. 

“Ok. What do we do?” 

Rose pulls a small, rectangular device from her pocket. It had two wires sprouting from the top that tapered down and at the end were two bronze clips.  

“What is that?” Poe asks weakly. “What are you doing?”

“How does it work?” Finn asks, promptly ignoring Poe’s questions. 

Rose picks up one of the small bronze clips. “These clip onto his fingers...” She looks at Finn. “...and when I press this button…” Her finger hovers over one of four buttons on the device. “...it sends a small shock through his entire body.”

“What the hell?” Poe growls from behind them. Again, he’s ignored. 

“Ok, let’s just get this over with,” Finn says as he turns to Poe. 

Poe growls at him. “What the hell are you doing to me?”

Finn unties Poe’s restraints and holds his wrists so he can’t escape. Poe struggles to no avail. 

“Rose, now!” Finn yells. Rose quickly kneels in front of Poe and clips the device on his two pointer fingers. 

“Get them off me!” Poe shouts. Finn holds Poe’s wrists together with one hand and presses his arm across Poe’s chest. “Get off me!” Poe lets out a feral scream and pushes back against Finn. 

“Do it now!” Finn yells frantically. Rose shakily presses the button and Poe’s body convulses lightly before going limp. 

“Oh my god, did I kill him?”

Finn shakes Poe’s shoulders urgently. “C’mon,” he pleads. “Wake up.” He shakes Poe once more and Poe’s eyes fly open. 

“Finn,” he rasps. Finn lets out a heavy sigh of relief. 

“Poe? Is it you?” 

Poe closes his eyes and gasps for air. The heat had dried his mouth and throat, making it hard to breathe regularly. 

“Poe, stay with us,” Finn says, grabbing onto Poe’s hand. “We need you.”

Rose holds Poe’s other hand. “Poe, we need you to tell us what to do. Can you do that?”

“Keep going,” Poe manages. “Kill it.”

Finn shoots Rose a worried look. 

“Poe, you could die.”

Poe screws his eyes shut and presses his head against the pipe. “Do it.”

Finn nods his head. “Ok.” He cradles Poe’s face in his hand, leaning down and pressing his lips to Poe’s temple. “I love you,” he whispers, barely loud enough for Poe to hear. Poe doesn’t say anything, just squeezes Finn’s hand. Finn stands and wipes his face. “Ok, let’s finish this.”

Rose stands up and puts the device back in her pocket. “Do you want me to stay with him?”

Finn shakes his head. “No, I’ll call if I need you to take over.” 

Rose nodded her head. She wanted to hug Finn, but Poe was still awake and his words from earlier rang in her ears. 

“Ok. Make sure you drink water.”

Finn gives a small, grateful smile. “Thank you.” 

Rose climbs up the ladder and shuts the hatch behind her. Finn kneels down beside Poe again and takes hold of his hand. 

Poe shakes his head. “You have to tie me back up,” he says with a cough. 

“Not yet,” Finn says, almost hopeful. 

“I can’t hurt you again.”

“You didn’t hurt me.”

“Finn…” Poe’s chest falls with a heavy breath. Finn exhales in defeat and carefully pulls Poe’s hands behind his back, tying them together. He lets a tear roll down his cheek as he kisses Poe. 

“Just a little longer, ok?”

Poe nods his head. “I’m sorry, Finn.”

“Shh,” Finn says. “There will be time for that later.”

Poe’s eyes flutter shut and Finn sits back away from him. 



Poe wakes twenty minutes later. He swallows thickly and looks around. His vision had gone blurry due to the intense heat. His eyes flicker up to Finn. He was sitting against the wall, staring intently at Poe. If it wasn’t for the heat causing his foggy mind, Poe would’ve opened with a sarcastic joke. But he had no energy to even lift his head. He coughs, dry and painful. It scrapes against his throat like sandpaper. 

Finn looks at him with a slightly contorted expression. Everything inside him screamed for him to help Poe. 

“You just gonna sit there?” Poe coughs. 

Finn shifts uncomfortably at the sound of Poe’s weak voice. He looked like he could collapse at and second. 

Poe continues coughing, and it physically pains Finn to watch. The room fills with the sounds of Poe’s deafening coughs. His chest tightens and he struggles to catch his breath. 

“I need water,” he says, voice low and scratchy. “Please.”

“No,” Finn says coldly. 

“I know he told you to keep going, but he’s going to die, Finn. You’re killing him.”

Finn keeps eye contact with Poe as he unscrews the lid to his canteen and takes a sip. Poe groans in aggravation and tosses his head back. He screams in pain and doubles over, retching with a sickening sound. Black bile spills from his mouth and onto the floor. 

“Oh my god!” Finn exclaims in horror, standing and staring at Poe in surprise. “What the hell is that?”

A loud, painful groan sounds, followed by Poe throwing up again. Finn flinches as his stomach climbs his throat. He held back a gag as he listened to Poe’s retching. 

The third time Poe spews black bile, a thick, black, writhing worm-like creature is thrown up. 

Finn jumps in surprise and pulls his blaster. “Holy fuck!” He shoots the parasite three times before it falls limp. The room is silent as Finn stares at the thing. It’s definitely dead, and he doesn't think he’s ever been so relieved. That is, until he sees Poe, slumped over and unconscious. He runs to Poe, kneeling down beside him and inspecting him. 

“Rose!” he yells. “Rose!”

The hatch above him opens and Rose rushes down the ladder. She sees the black bile and the still parasite. 

“Is it dead?”
Finn frantically shakes Poe to no avail. “Help me get him upstairs.”

Rose kneels down and unties Poe’s hands, grabbing his arms and helping Finn carry him to the main floor. 

Once they get him upstairs, Finn lays him flat on the floor and checks his pulse. It was almost non existent.

“Go get the med team.”

Rose nods her head and runs to find the med team that was on standby. Finn stays with Poe, holding onto his hand, his thumb over Poe’s weak pulse. 

“C’mon,” he urges. “You have to wake up, Poe. You fought so hard, you can’t give up now.”

The med team rushes in and pushes Finn out of the way. They check Poe’s vitals before carrying him to the infirmary. Rose stays behind and stands beside Finn, reaching down for his hand. 

“He’ll be ok,” she says softly. Finn takes comfort in the reassuring squeeze Rose gives his hand. 

 

Rey lands the Falcon back on base shortly after Poe is taken to the infirmary, but they leave him on the Falcon. It was more advanced than anything else they had on base, and the safest place for him to recover. 

Finn stayed by his bedside for two days straight. Doctors, nurses, and several members of the Resistance come to visit Poe, but no one tried to get Finn to leave. They knew it would just be a losing battle. 

Leia visits when she can get away, and Rose does the same. 

On the second day, Rey drops her training to go see him. She quietly steps inside, watching as Finn lifts his head to look at her. He had slept in the chair by Poe’s bed last night, and Rey would be willing to bet he hadn’t left Poe’s side. 

“How is he?” she asks as she sits across the bed from Finn. 

“No change,” Finn mutters, keeping his eyes trained on Poe. Rey nods her head solemnly.

 “I brought cards,” she says, pulling a deck from her pockets. “I thought it might take your mind off things.”

Finn looks up at her and nods his head. “Thank you.” 

Rey smiles and deals them both seven cards. They play a few rounds in almost complete silence before Rey speaks up. 

“Have the doctors said anything about when he’s expected to wake up?”

Finn shakes his head as he deals another round. “They said it could be as soon as the next few days. His body just needs time to recover.” He gives a small smile. “Honestly I don’t think he would’ve made it without Rose.”

Rey nods her head, ignoring the warm feeling in her stomach. “She’s something else.”

Finn looks at her conspicuously. “Yeah, she is.” He hands Rey her cards and holds his own up in front of him. “You two have gotten pretty close lately, right?”

A warm pink fills Rey’s cheeks. She looks down at her cards to avoid eye contact. 

“I suppose.”

Finn lays down his first card. “You know that whatever happened with me and Rose is in the past, right?”

Rey looks up from her cards momentarily. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

Finn shrugs his shoulders. “I just wanted you to know that it would be ok if you and Rose wanted to…”

Rey arches a brow. “Wanted to what?”

Finn stammers. “If you… if you’re into her, it would be ok with me if you went for it.”

Rey looks down to hide her blush. “Who says I like her?”

Finn plays another card. “Don’t deny yourself what you want because of war, Rey. You deserve to be happy, and if she makes you happy you should embrace that.”

Rey shakes her head, a hint of a smile on her lips. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

One of the machines Poe is hooked up to begins beeping rapidly. Finn stands from his seat in surprise. 

“What is that?” he asks as panic rises in him. Poe’s doctor walks in and inspects the beeping machine. 

“Is he ok?” Rey asks worriedly. The doctor smiles and nods his head. 

“His brain is becoming more active. It looks like he’s almost ready to wake up.”

Finn sighs with relief. “How soon, do you think?”
“An hour at most.”

Finn can’t help the smile that breaks out on his face. “Is he gonna be ok?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Rey holds onto Finn’s arm, squeezing it in excitement. “He’s alright,” she says, smiling wide. Finn feels the familiar sting of tears in his eyes. He lets them fall down his face, not even bothering to wipe them away. 

 

Poe wakes up almost an hour later. Finn was still by his bedside, but the minute he woke up, doctors swarmed the room, forcing Finn out. He watched from a distance as they checked his vitals and brain activity. 

 

Poe was cleared for visitors a half hour later, and even though everyone else was waiting to see him, they all let Finn go first. 

 

He stepped inside the room, smiling softly as he approached the bed.

Poe sees him and it’s like his body is being flooded. He wants to say so many things. 

I’m sorry. Are you ok? I’m so sorry. 

He waits till Finn is sitting by his side and holding his hand. 

“Hey,” he whispers. Finn smiles tearfully and brings Poe’s hand to his lips, closing his eyes for a few seconds. He just wanted to keep this moment a little longer before they had to actually talk about it. 

“I’m sorry,” Poe says, voice breaking at the end. “I’m so sorry, Finn.”

Finn shakes his head and reaches up to wipe a stray tear from Poe’s cheek. 

“No. Don’t apologize, please.”

“You have to know that I would never do that.”

“I know,” Finn says hurriedly. “I know. I knew it wasn’t you. I knew you could never do that.”

Poe swallows and looks down. “Those things I said when I was tied up…” He looks up. “Finn, I promise that’s not what I think of you. You are the bravest, strongest person I know, and the Resistance would have crumbled if it wasn’t for you.”
Finn kisses Poe’s knuckles. “It’s ok,” he whispers. “I know. None of it was your fault.”

There’s a long stretch of silence, and all Poe want to do is fall asleep with Finn beside him. 

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” Poe whispers after a few minutes. 

“I would never,” Finn whispers back. “But you should be thanking Rose. She was the one who knew what a Lecdian was and how to kill it. And she suggested we electrocute you to impair it.”

Poe chuckled dryly, his mind drifting back to the horrible things he’d said to Rose.  “Yeah, that fucking sucked.”

Finn smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m sorry I had to hurt you like that.”

“It’s not your fault,” Poe assures him. “You did what you had to do, and I’m thankful for that.”

Finn kisses his hand again. “I love you.”

Poe sits up as far as he can and kisses Finn till he’s breathless. He pulls away, chest rising and falling rapidly as he tries to catch his breath. Finn smiles softly. 

“I love you too,” Poe says, running his thumb along Finn’s cheekbone. Finn closes his eyes for a second, leaning into Poe’s warm touch. 

“Please don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Poe smiles. “I’ll try. No promises.”

Finn opens his eyes and holds onto Poe’s hand with both of his. 

“Should I send someone else in? We were told only one person at once so you don’t get overwhelmed.”

“I won’t get overwhelmed.”

“I know, but I think you should listen to your doctor so you can get out of here as soon as possible.”

“Ok.” Poe nods his head. “Actually, could I see Rose?”

Finn looks a little surprised at the request, but complies nonetheless. “Yeah, of course.” He stands from his seat and kisses Poe. “I’ll come see you again after everyone else has.”

“Thank you.” Poe looks up and smiles. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Finn gently drops Poe’s hand back to the bed before leaving. 



Everyone is waiting outside expectantly. They all look up when Finn comes out of the room. 

“Is he doing alright?” Leia asks. 

Finn nods his head. “Yeah, he’s fine.” He looks towards Rose. “He actually asked to see you.”

Rose looks at him in surprise. “Me?”
“Yeah.” 

Rose looks at the rest of the group as she stands up. “If someone else wants to go first that’s alright.”

“He asked for you,” Finn says. Rose looks at him for a second before nodding her head. 

“Ok.” She disappears inside without another word. Finn takes her seat beside Rey, brows furrowed. Rose’s nervousness made him wonder if Poe had said anything to her down in the engine room. 



Rose steps inside the room reluctantly. She walks slowly across the room until she’s standing by Poe’s bed. 

“You can sit,” Poe says. “I promise I won’t bite.”

Rose laughs nervously and sits down. Her legs bounce anxiously. She wasn’t sure if she should talk first or not. 

“Are you ok?” Poe asks. She looks up at him. 

“Why are you worried about me after what you just went through?”
Poe looks down briefly. “I remember what I said to you down there, and I just want you to know how sorry I am. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“It’s ok,” Rose says quietly. “I know you didn’t mean it. It was just the parasite trying to get a rise out of me.”

Poe shakes his head and sighs. “It was the parasite, but there was some truth behind those words.”

Rose looks at him, worrying the inside of her lip. She wished she could be anywhere but here. 

“I was jealous after I heard what happened when you saved Finn from the canon. I didn’t want to be, but I was.”

Rose looks down at her hands. “I’m sorry.” Her voice breaks as tears fill her eyes. “You have every right to hate me.”

Poe shakes his head. “I don’t hate you, Rose. I should be the one apologizing to you for saying those awful things.”

“They’re true, though,” Rose says as she wipes her cheek with the back of her shaking hand. “I did love him. I was in love with him.” Saying it out loud felt too big, but also like a weight had been lifted from her. 

Poe looks down and nods his head. “I know.” And his voice held no anger or resentment. A part of Rose wished he would be angry, or hate her. She wouldn’t blame him. 

“I don’t anymore,” she says after a minute. “And when I kissed him I didn’t know you were together. If I had known I never would have done anything.”

Poe smiles softly and reaches for her hand. “It’s ok. You don’t have to justify everything you do, especially not to me.” He looks at her with kind eyes. “Sometimes you can’t control how you feel about other people, and it takes time to get over them. And I think any sane person that meets Finn falls a little bit in love with him.”

Rose nods her head and wipes her eyes again. “I promise I’m over him now, and I couldn’t be happier for you.”

Poe gives her hand a light squeeze. “I’m happy for you too.”

Rose gives him a quizzical look. 

“For you and Rey,” he clarifies, and Rose’s face turns red within seconds. “Am I way off base here?” Poe asks. “I thought you two...you know. I thought there was something there.”

Rose looks down and laughs quietly. “I think there is too.”

“But nothing official?”
Rose shakes her head. “No.”

Poe smiles and squeezes her hand again. “Either way, I’m happy for you.”

Rose pushes a loose strand of hair behind her ear before she stands up. “Thank you, Poe.” She leans down, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I forgive you for the things you said, and I hope you can forgive me too.”

She pulls away and Poe nods his head. “Of course I do. It was never your fault that you had those feelings for Finn.”

Rose smiles and gently pulls her hands from Poe’s. “I should let someone else see you.”

Poe nods. “Yeah. Thank you for talking things through with me. It means more than you know.”

Rose lowers her head and smiles. “I’ll see you later, Poe.”

He returns the smile and she turns, leaving the room a little more peaceful than when she entered. 

 

When Rey sees her, she thinks something’s wrong. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she sniffles when she walks out of Poe’s room. Rey stands and goes to her, gently holding onto her arms. 

“Is everything ok?” she whispers. Rose looks in her eyes and nods her head. 

“Yes.”

Rey gathers her in a hug, pressing a light kiss to her temple. Rose thinks she could melt into the floor if Rey wasn’t holding her up. 

Behind them, Leia clears her throat and Finn scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. 

They part and look at their friends. 

“Is he up for another visitor?” Leia asks. Rose nods, her cheeks a light pink color. 

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Leia stands, looks at Finn for a second, and walks to Poe’s room. Rey leads Rose to sit down. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Rose smiles. “I promise. I actually think I’m gonna go work on my X-Wing. It has to be repaired before my mission tomorrow.”

Rey nods her head reluctantly. “Alright.”

Rose gives her a warm smile before she leaves. Rey watches as she goes, a sinking feeling in her stomach. She should go after Rose. She should listen to Finn’s advice and do something before it’s too late. 

She turns to Finn, worrying her bottom lip. “Finn-”

“Go after her,” he says, knowing full well what Rey was going to ask. He smiles at her reluctant expression. “Go after her. You’ll only regret it if you don’t.”

Rey nods her head and stands from her seat. She kisses Finn on the cheek. “Thank you. I love you.”

Finn smiles warmly at her. “I love you too.”

And then she’s off down the hallway on her way to find Rose. 



She really should’ve thought about what to say on the way to the hanger, because standing there, watching Rose work on the plane, she was completely speechless. She wanted it to be perfect, because Rose was perfect, and she deserved that much from Rey. 

Beside her, BB-8 beeps encouragingly. Rose hears the beeping and turns around, smiling when she sees Rey and BB-8. 

“Hey.”

God, Rey wasn’t ready for this. 

She smiles, her cheeks growing warm. “Hi.” She should really say something else. She says, “I have something to tell you,” at the same time that Rose says, “Can we talk?”
“Sorry,” Rey says, more flustered than before. “You go first.”

“No, go ahead,” Rose says. Rey really, really didn’t want to go first. 

She sucked it up and opened her mouth. “I think I should just say it outright to avoid further confusion.”

Rose looks at her with furrowed brows. “Confusion about what?”

Rey bites her lip. “About us.”

Oh Rose thinks. Her stomach swims with nervousness. 

“What about us?” she asks, wringing her hands. Rey’s brows furrow just the slightest. Rose noticed she did that whenever she was thinking hard about something. 

“I like you,” Rey says after a moment. “If you don’t feel the same, I understand. I just didn’t want to regret not telling you.”

Rose could barely believe what she was hearing. She looks at Rey in shock for a minute. 

“Are you going to say anything?” Rey asks, growing more self conscious by the second. Rose surges forward, kissing Rey desperately. She thought she should stop kissing people on a whim, but this was worth it. She feels Rey smile against her lips, and it ignites a spark of hope inside her. 

When they part, Rose laughs quietly and closes her eyes, pressing their foreheads together. 

“I can’t believe I just did that,” she breathes out. 

“Do you regret it?” Rey asks, voice low so Rose can just barely hear. Rose shakes her head. 

“No.”

Rey kisses her then, softer this time and with less urgency and uncertainty. She holds onto Rose like she’s Rey’s only life source; like if she lets go she’ll fall into oblivion.




Poe is released from the infirmary eight hours later and ordered to be put on bedrest. As much as he hates it, he complies--mostly for Finn’s sake. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t complain, though.

“Honestly, I don’t get the point of bedrest,” Poe says as he shuts the book he was reading. Finn looks up from fixing a comms device. 

“Your body needs time to heal, both from the Lecdian and dehydration.”

“I feel fine,” Poe insists. 

“You almost died,” Finn deadpans. Poe rolls his eyes and opens his book again, holding it up in front of his face. Finn chuckles quietly and returns to his task. 

 

The silence only lasted a half hour before Poe was groaning from boredom. 

“I have nothing to do in this room. At least let me work on my X-Wing, I heard some idiot cut the fuel line.”

Finn grins and shakes his head. “Yeah, I think I heard about that too. I think I also heard that the same idiot was ordered to stay on bedrest because he nearly died just two days ago.”

Poe gives a sarcastic smile. “Please let me do something. I think I’ll go crazy if I just have to sit here.”

Finn gathers his equipment off the desk and sets it on the bed before sitting beside Poe. 

“You can help me with this if you want.”

Poe pretends to be exasperated, but he’s grateful that Finn chose to stay with him even though he could’ve just left Poe here to recover alone.

 

Poe was ordered two days of bedrest and he was already going stir crazy. He was on his second day, meaning tomorrow morning he was a free man. But the last few hours were the worst. Finn had left hours ago, leaving Poe with a stack of books and some broken gadgets to tinker with. He didn’t want to read and he had no desire to attempt to fix any of the things Finn had left for him. He felt exactly like he had as a child when his parents went away on missions; helpless. 



Just as Poe was about to give up and leave the room for the first time in two days, the door swung open and Finn walked in sporting a wide grin. 

“What’s got you so excited?” Poe asks, actually annoyed that Finn could be that happy while Poe had to be miserable. Finn walks to the closet and pulls out clothes for Poe, tossing it to him. 

“What’s this?” Poe asks skeptically. 

“Get dressed, I’m taking you somewhere.”

Poe arches a brow. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to leave the room till tomorrow morning.”

“I talked to your doctors and they cleared it.”

Poe was still skeptical. “Where are you taking me?”

“So many questions,” Finn says with a sly smile. “Just get dressed and you’ll find out.”

Poe sighs dramatically and throws the covers aside. He pulls on the white linen shirt Finn had given him along with a pair of brown slacks and a leather jacket with a Resistance patch on the arm. Finn wore it more than him these days. 

“Alright, will you tell me now?” Poe asks. Finn just smiles and kisses him. 

“Follow me.” He takes Poe’s hand and leads him out of the room and down the hallways. 

 

When they near the mess hall tent the faint sound of music fills the air. 

“What’s that?” Poe asks, growing more curious by the second. Finn shushes him, obviously not ready to give up any information. Poe resigns to accept Finn’s stubbornness on the issue. 

When they get to the tent, the music is louder and Poe can hear the indistinguishable chatter of his friends and comrades. Finn pulls the tent flap open, a wide smile on his face as he steps inside, taking Poe with him. 

Poe looks around in wonder. There are lights lining the perimeter of the tent with various flora woven into their strings, globes hanging from the ceiling, tables stacked with foods Poe had never even seen, and in the center, everyone on base was dancing along to the melodious sounds coming from an R-5 unit. 

Poe turns to Finn with a look of disbelief. 

“Tell me you didn’t do this for me.”

Finn smiles and takes Poe’s hand. “I did, and you deserve it, so enjoy yourself.”

Poe really, really couldn’t argue with that logic, especially not when Finn was looking at him the way he was right now. He smiles and nods his head, tightening his fingers around Finn’s. “Would you care to dance?”

Finn lowers his head and smiles. “I’ve never danced before.”

Poe raises their joined hands, pressing his lips to Finn’s knuckles. 

“I happen to be an amazing dancer.”

Finn raises a brow. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Poe says, grinning. “Let me show you.”

He pulls Finn to the dance floor and then turns so they’re facing each other. He begins moving to the music, bopping his head and getting into the rhythm of it. 

Finn didn’t know how to dance, but he knew that Poe looked utterly ridiculous. Whatever he was doing wasn’t dancing. Finn covers his mouth with his hands as he laughs. 

Poe dances over to him, laughing along with him. 

“You look ridiculous,” Finn tells him in between laughs. 

“The more ridiculous you look, the more fun you’re having,” Poe says as he pulls another move that makes Finn shake his head. 

“I love you,” he says over the music. Poe’s goofy smile turns into one of adoration. He grabs Finn’s hands and tugs him close, kissing him slowly. It was the kind of kiss that makes you want to stay in that very same spot for eternity if it means never having to part. 

“I love you too,” Poe says, brushing their lips together. “Now, dance with me,” he whispers. Finn rests his hands just above Poe’s hips and begins swaying to the music. He leans in close to Poe’s ear. “I have no idea what I’m doing,” he admits. Poe laughs quietly and presses his face into Finn’s neck. 

“You’re doing great, don’t worry.”

 

They stay like that for awhile till Poe raises his head and catches a glimpse of Rey and Rose dancing together. He smiles, letting out a quiet huff of laughter. 

“What is it?” Finn asks. Poe nods towards the pair and Finn looks at them, smiling wide. 

“I hoped they’d work things out.”

Poe nods his head. “I’m glad they did.”

“Were we that oblivious before?” Finn asks, and Poe chuckles. 

“You were. I was dropping hints left and right just waiting for you to pick up on them.”

Finn laughs and lowers his head as his cheeks warm with embarrassment.  

“Forgive me for never having been flirted with before.”

“Which is practically a crime, by the way,” Poe says matter of factly. “How could no one want a piece of you?”

“I guess they didn’t appreciate me the way you do.”

Poe smiles and leans in to kiss Finn. “I guess it’s their loss.”

Finn kisses Poe again before pulling away a little and looking in Rey and Rose’s direction. Poe follows as Finn leads him across the room, stopping near the new couple. 

Rose’s cheeks turn pink when she sees them. Rey turns and looks at them, smiling sweetly. 

“Are you enjoying your party?” she asks Poe. He laughs and nods his head. 

“I got to leave the room, so, yeah.”

Rey laughs with him. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t go to see you after you woke up, I-”
“You had important things to attend to,” Poe says, glancing at Rose. The gesture only makes Rose blush more. 

“Was it that obvious?” she asks. Finn and Poe give each other knowing looks. 

“Yes,” they answer together. Both Rey and Rose laugh quietly. 

“But we’re very happy for you,” Finn says, making sure that part’s clear. He looks at his friends, feeling more complete than ever before. “Who wants to dance?” He asks as he starts mimicking one of Poe’s dance moves, eliciting laughs from all three of them. He holds his hand out to Rose and she takes it, smiling and shaking her head at him. She laughs as he dances terribly with her, missing every beat of the music. He pulls Poe and Rey in, and they all dance together. It’s...atrocious, but as Poe dances and laughs with his friends and the man he loves, he knew he wouldn’t trade this for anything in the universe.