Chapter Text
When Clint told his classmates on their final day in 1986, that they would all meet up in the year 2000, It never even crossed his mind that 14 years later, Steve Rogers himself would message him, asking him to go to the reunion. Of course, Clint couldn’t say no. And that’s why he was here. Purple undershirt and all. At a freaking disco. Glitter basically hung from the ceiling, food was spread out along the table along with the booze. Maybe that was going to be the best part about this, free booze and food. And just as he was about to pick up a cocktail sausage. She walked in. Arm wrapped around the waist of a guy just a bit shorter than her with the heels she was wearing.
Natasha Rom- No it was Natasha Barnes now wasn't it.
They’d got married in the winter about five years ago. Last Clint heard they had two kids. A cat. And a nice house, local to where they all grew up. It was fair to say that they adapted to the perfect little nuclear family life, while Clint was still maintaining the job as a Children’s entertainer at a Haven caravan park. Not that it wasn’t fun, he got to teach kids archery on the sidelines quite often, and he got to introduce Lucky to all the kids, and he just adored the attention. But it was far away from the life he’s dreamt of as a child. The one with marriage, kids, a stable job and a holiday home up in Scotland. Even the Smith’s themselves told Clint that they would grow up, get married and never split up. Barney hadn’t really thought the same, and Clint wished that he’s listened.
“Clint! Oh, it’s been too long!” Her voiced carried volume, and status. It still made his knees feel weak, and his stomach do summersaults. Ultimately it snapped him out of his thoughts. She pulled him into a tight hug and kissed his forehead, which he awkwardly returned.
“Ah. You caught me! How have you been? It’s been a few years right?” A few Years was a large understatement! Running away to the seaside meant that he was away from them all. No contact really until Natasha had somehow found him, invited him to her wedding and then promised to stay in touch.
She didn’t stay in touch.
Guess that’s what having kids does to you right?
“Yeah. You could say that. James and I moved into a new house. We officially moved in yesterday, we unpacked the last box. How are you and Bobbi? Haven’t got my wedding invite yet?” She chuckled softly, and wow. Was he really going to ruin the mood by telling her they split up? That even though they still loved each other, they both just needed different things? Clint’s face must have visibly fallen because her’s dropped a little too. “You broke up?”
“Yeah, we- It didn’t work out. We wanted different things.” Clint looked down at the cocktail sausage and just put it back onto his plate. “Still got Lucky though. And he really is man’s best friend.” Clint gave her a smile and instead took a sip of the raspberry punch. Grape would have been much better, but oh well.
“If only You hadn’t run away. You wouldn’t have to have a dog as a best friend.”
“Nat I- You know-”
Clint was going to go on but then James walked over. Laughing about something Steve must have said and then wrapped his arm around Nat’s slimmer waist. She just raised one of her eyebrows at him, but he just went back to eating and reminiscing about the past again.
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The year’s 1980. Clint’s 10, and so’s Nat. They’re getting changed for P.E in their shared classroom next to each other. They’re kids and Mr Charles has gone out of the classroom to get all of the equipment for the rounders. Clint’s favourite, because he can throw the ball better than anyone else.
Nat and Clint have been friends for years now. Since he and Barney came to live with the Smith’s when he was six. Nat lived just next door, and they’d ended up walking to and from Primary school with each other every day. Mrs Smith pushed Clint to make new friends, seen as though Barney would be going to high school and leaving him soon.
“Hey, Natasha! Is that a bra? Woah! Let me look!” Some kid - probably Barnes thinking back - shouted from the back of the class. Clint defensively stood in front of her of course, because he was ten, and didn’t know a single thing about why women grew these things, the Smith’s had protected Clint’s little ears from his crude older brother. So, little him just thought someone was being mean to his best friend.
“Hey! Let her wear whatever! It looks nice Nat.” Clint smiled at her happily, maintaining his stance until she pulled the white polo over her head. Once she’d done that, Clint himself got changed into the mandatory shorts and polo and made his way to the field alongside her. She had her arm around him, whispering little jokes that made him nearly keel over in laughter. Bestest friend in the world she was, she made him happy, and her mum made the best Medovik! Well… Clint hadn’t tried many, but he knew it was!
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It’s 1986, Clint is now 16. Nat’s got her tongue down some guy’s throat (John? David? Tom?), while he’s just trying to get to his PE lesson. He has revision to do, and she’s in his way. This guy’s hand is getting closer to the bottom of her skirt.
“If you’re gonna fuck, will you like, go somewhere else.” Clint hiked the purple bag back up onto his shoulder and stormed off. They probably didn’t hear him, or that guy didn’t care, because he was sure that they just continued in the middle of the hallway. It’s the exam months. May and June are awful! He’s stressed. So’s Barney. Which makes the Smith’s stressed because they are stressed. And Clint can’t wait to run away from this place.
Natasha wouldn’t care, she’s been leaving him a lot. They walk home together sometimes, but that’s about it. Most of the times she’s with a boyfriend or out with other friends. On day’s they don’t walk home together, Barney ends up picking him up.
And that’s probably one of the catalysts for the depression that sets in.
June 18th is the date of their last exams. They all come out cheering. Bucky undoes his tie while he wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulders, Nat’s got Matt’s arm around her waist, while Tony and Bruce are discussing all the answers for the questions.
“Wouldn’t it be really funny if we were to meet up on the 31st of December 1999. It would be a great way to go into the new millennia.” Clint said as he threw his pen at the wall, his back turned away from the rest of them.
“We’d all be adults. How strange. Imagine Clint actually growing up.” Bucky joked and let go of Steve so he could wrap the arm around Clint instead. “That’s a great idea though. Stevie! Write it down.”
“Why don’t we all go out tonight. We have no school tomorrow, let’s get drunk!” Tony suggested, which meant their discussion of the exam had finished.
“Ahhh, I’m kinda busy…” Clint tried but Bucky jabbed him in the ribs. “Ahhh. Fuck you, James. Fine, fine, I’ll come!” He laughed and pushed Bucky away from him gently while he let out a small laugh.
That night they sat around like friends, drinking and watching whatever videos that Tony had around the house. Of course Mr and Mrs Stark weren’t in, Tony had said they were in Bora Bora or something. It was rather surprising, however, that Nat had turned up, Clint thought she was staying out with Matt, but apparently, it had been called off or something? He didn’t know.
After his 6th Cider, Clint was really starting to feel it, which meant he was really starting to talk more than he was supposed to. After stumbling into the kitchen to retrieve his 7th, Nat came in and closed the fridge.
“No more Clint.” She took the drink from his hand and put it to the side.
“Y-You can’t tell me. W-What to do! You don’t even care for me.” Clint tried to push past her, but she just pushed him right back, making him blush.
“What do you mean Clint. Of course I-”
“No, you don’t. Ha-haven’t seen you in s-so long !” Nat pushed him against the counter. She was shorter, and he could easily push her away… But he just couldn’t. For so long he’d dreamt of how she’d feel pushed up against his body, and here she was, pressed up against him, with her lips inches from his.
“Have I been neglecting you? Do you need some loving too?” She whispered into his ear.
“L-love you lots Nat. I wished you loved me back. Wanted you for so long.” His eyes started to tear up as he looked down at her. Her answer to that was to kiss him, straight on the lips, while her hand rested on the back of his head. It felt like fireworks, going off in his stomach. The tears kept on pouring as he kept on kissing her. “I love you. Have for so long.” He whispered against her lips.
But she didn’t say it back.
That night, when they went home. Her parents had gone out she said. They went to her bed. And he lost his virginity to her, all while telling her how much he loved her.
The next morning he was gone. He gave one final kiss to his parents and left in the car with Barney. Through the trip, the two of them hardly spoke, and Barney understood.
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“No, I don’t know Clint. Because you didn’t tell me anything before you left.” Natasha nearly spat, it was venomous. And Clint felt bad. Terrible. Like she was about to rip his heart from his chest again.
“You didn’t want me. You made that pretty clear.” He looked down and took another large gulp from his drink when shoved the last cocktail sausage into his mouth.
“Maybe some of us did Clint. You just decided to leave us all without telling us! Was Nat the only one you cared about?” Bucky was the one speaking up this time, his arm still around her waist. “Was it easy to leave us behind.”
“Of course not! You guys were the only people I had! But that night… It pushed me, I couldn’t stay here anymore.” Clint shouted and placed his things back onto the table before he stormed out of the disco thing. This- This stupid thing that he was dragged along to. People who didn’t care for him, trying to rekindle a broken relationship.
It wasn’t even Nat, or Bucky came out! It was Tony. In his Armani suit. Or whatever. Clint didn’t care. He didn’t want to see him or anyone right now!
“Clint. Come on-” Tony really was trying, but Clint didn’t care.
“I’m going home. I don’t want to be here.” Clint sat on the fountain that was just down the road. His head moved into his hands as he felt like he was about to cry. He had been happy, well no, content? Back at his home, with his dog, entertaining kids who were actually happy to see him!
“Clint… Stop. What’s wrong?” Tony slid himself to sit down next to Clint, his hand coming to rest on his shoulder.
“I haven’t got over her Tony. I never did. Seeing her here, with her- her husband. All when I was a kid, I wanted to be that person. But I can’t. Then… Then the worst thing was, I found out I’m in love with her husband too.” Clint was breaking down, his walls, that he had built to try and push all these feelings away were crumbling. “I-I’m going to drive home. Then I’m going to curl up on my shitty bed in my shitty house and take my aids out while I cuddle with my dog. Because the only other girl that I’ve ever loved left me.”
Tony was silent, his hand gently rubbing at Clint’s back and bringing him closer to cuddle into his side. He didn’t try to say anything, because he knew that that was not what Clint needed right now. Clint just needed someone there. About five minutes after their silence had started, two more pairs of feet approached, and Tony just ended up slipping away, giving a light pat to Clint’s shoulder.
“Clint… Was it because I didn’t say it back?” Her arm wrapped around him slowly, and her hand came to his leg. “I felt the same way… I just couldn’t say it back. Commitment was very scary. I’ve loved you for a very long time, Clint, if you’d have just given me some more time.” Bucky was now sitting on the other side of him, arm around his shoulders.
“Nat… I realised that I’d been in love with you for years the first time that I saw you with someone else. I couldn’t live like that for any longer. I had it planned for months that I was going to leave. I didn’t plan the whole sleeping with you part, and I shouldn’t have done that. Not that I regretted it, but it was wrong of me to leave.” Clint Rambled as his head came to rest on her shoulder, just like what they used to do as kids.
“I know… And I don’t like that you did that. We both made mistakes. All of us have.” Nat’s hand started to gently stroke through his hair, as her other hand came out to gently touch James’. “Can you look up at me sweetheart?” She asked, exactly like you’d speak to a child. Yet, he still looked up at her, his eyes filled with tears. And just like that night fourteen years ago, she kissed him. This time it held tenderness and love, it wasn’t at all carnal.
After a few more seconds Clint pulled away and stared wide-eyed at her, confused at what she had just done. “Y-you’re married, Nat. With kids.” He felt guilty as he quickly whipped around to look at Bucky. He was expecting a punch or just general verbal abuse. But instead, he also received a tender kiss to his cheek.
“She is, isn’t she. Would it make you feel better if I was to tell you that we’d been thinking about you, ever since you wore that gorgeous tux to our wedding.” Bucky’s voice must have definitely dropped another octave because Clint could never remember it being this deep and sensual.
"No. Because It- this wouldn't be able to work and you know it." Clint's eyes closed tightly and tried to will away all of these feelings. But it didn't help that they were getting even closer, and their lips were starting to trail over his exposed skin. "Please. Don't lead me on again." His voice was horse, trying to hide the arousal that he was feeling, he did not want to embarrass himself even more right now.
"Never again honey. Come home with us." Natasha got up, pulling both of her boy's up with her. And Clint couldn't help himself but follow the both of them to their car. If this was to all backfire, at least he could have one final night with the two people he loved.