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English
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Published:
2019-12-24
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1,398
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1/1
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I Can’t Do This Anymore

Summary:

Santana has had enough and has decided that some big changes are in order.

Notes:

Acknowledgements: This story is for Lightbluenymphadora who is my Pezberry Secret Santa 2019 recipient.

Disclaimer: This story is not intended for profit but simply to test my ability to create something I am happy with and that others might enjoy. Glee and its characters are the property of Ryan Murphy and Fox Broadcasting Company. No infringement intended.

Work Text:

It was odd going for weeks without a slushy facial or untoward comment thrown at her and Rachel worried when the other shoe would drop. She never told a soul about the heart-to-heart she’d had with Santana and the Latina had kept her promise to stop the mistreatment of the tiny diva, but Rachel knew it wouldn’t last. She understood that she made herself an easy target because she never let on just how much things got to her. She wasn’t all that different than her tormentors in that regard, putting up walls and building defenses, but in very different ways. Rachel didn’t let anyone in while Santana and Quinn did all they could to keep people out. And so it was right before Sectionals when Rachel assumed that she and Finn would have the solo that things began to unravel for the brunette.

Mr. Schue was giving the solo to Quinn and Sam while Rachel and Finn would be relegated to the chorus, and when she expressed her displeasure with Ken and Barbie getting the leads Quinn was quick to make a cutting comment about how much she wanted to punch Rachel. Of course Rachel turned to Finn for support, nudging him in the ribs and asking him to do something.

“Mr. Schue, you can’t take the star quarterback out before the big game.” The boy stated with certainty.

“That’s easy to say when you’re the star quarterback.” Tina said as she shook her head.

“You’re such a hypocrite.” Santana added, angered by the pairs reluctance to let anyone else get a shot.

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Oh, like you even know what that means.”

Santana knew exactly what it meant. She knew that she herself was guilty of the same behavior, most of it aimed at the small brunette staring defiantly up at her. She was angry now; at Rachel, at Finn, at Mr. Schue and his stupidity, but mostly she was angry with herself for keeping that dumb jocks secret. She needed to come clean about what happened between her and Finn and she needed the boy to own up to what he did and stop lying to his girlfriend. “It means that your boyfriend is full of crap, hobbit.”

That was it, Rachel was not going to sit idly by and let the Latina get away with that comment. So she stood and faced the Cheerio. “You know what, ever since the wedding you’ve been up my butt and I’m sick of it!”

It was true, Santana had been making derogatory comments about her dressing like the dark, fantasy of a Japanese salesman or the bait on those to catch a predator shows. She didn’t know what else to do, her relationship with Brittany was changing now that the blonde Cheerio and Artie seemed to be seriously dating. She was angry, and when she was angry she often acted before thinking things through. She didn’t really want to hurt Rachel, but she needed to deflect some of her emotions and the tiny diva was convenient.

The two girls stared daggers at one another until Finn grabbed Rachel’s arm to get her attention. “C’mon Rachel, she’s not worth it.”

Santana was having none of that and she leaned forward and spoke directly into the boy’s ear. “Oh, really? Cause that’s not what you thought last year in that motel room.”

The whole room fell silent at that and Rachel looked from Santana to Finn stunned by what she just heard.

“That’s right Yentl, you’re sweetheart… he’s been lying to you, ‘cause he and I totally got it on last year.” The Latina crossed her arms in defiance as she let the words sink in.

Meanwhile Mr. Schue finally got his head out of his ass and stopped the confrontation. Rachel was stunned and simply stood there staring at the boy she loved as she tried to make sense of it all.

When practice ended Quinn moved to the Latina’s side as they both watched Brittany push Artie out the door. “I’m not Rachel’s biggest fan, but that was pretty harsh, S.” Santana turned toward the blonde and Quinn caught a fleeting glimpse of such despair in the dark haired girls eyes.

“Yeah, well, I was getting tired of watching the two of them mooning all over each other. Besides, when a guy gets all up on this,” She said indicating her body with a sweeping gesture. “They usually can’t wait to brag about it”.

Quinn chuckled and walked away, leaving Santana to her own devices. The Latina stood there for a moment contemplating what to do and couldn’t come up with a single thing. Britt was all up on Artie and Puck was playing with giant sea creatures. Not wanting to head home just yet the Latina roamed the halls with no destination in mind. Somehow she found herself standing in front of the auditorium listening to a voice she would know anywhere. As much as Santana tormented Rachel she had to admit, if only to herself, that the girl was an amazing singer.

She cracked the door open and slipped inside taking a seat in the back row. This wouldn’t be the first time she’d snuck in to listen to the girl, but she’d never seen her perform with such raw emotion. The brunette was singing a soulful song beautifully, despite the tears streaming down her face. Santana felt the weight of what she’d just said to the diva bearing down on her and was just about to slip out when she heard her name.

“Santana?” the diva questioned as she peered toward the back of the auditorium.

The Latina contemplated ignoring the query and continuing to make her escape but her guilt got the better of her and instead she made her way down the aisle toward the stage.

“Hey Rachel.” The Cheerio intoned flatly as she continued toward the diva. She made her way up onto the stage and walked over to the tiny brunette taking her into her arms. “I hate this.” She whispered in the brunette’s ear.

Rachel squeezed the Latina a little tighter as she replied, “I know baby, but we agreed that you calling off the slushies might raise some suspicions.”

Santana burrowed further into the girl in her arms, breathing in her scent to calm her. “Yeah, well I’m not sure I want to keep doing this.” She heard the diva gasp and start to pull away. Pulling her closer the Latina quickly reassured her. “Not us, never us.” She stated emphatically as she kissed the top of the diva’s head. Feeling her relax she continued, “I think I want to tell Glee, and maybe just toss it all and walk down the halls with your hand in mine.”

Rachel looked up at the Latina and asked, “Where is this coming from Santana? We agreed we’d wait until we graduated and moved to New York.”

“I know,” The Latina answered as she wiped the tears from the diva’s face, “But I don’t want to have to keep pretending to hurt you. And I know it actually hurts you sometimes. Like today… I hated bringing up that stupid mistake with Finn.” Taking a deep breath the Cheerio continued. “It hurts me, too, and I realize that I don’t want to hurt anymore either.”

The diva smiled up at the Cheerio and reached up to place a gentle kiss on her lips. “Okay.” When the Latina shot her an odd look she explained. “I’ve been waiting for you to realize that this was not just hurting me. You are always worried about how I feel and never seemed to consider your own feelings.” Taking the Latina’s face in her hands the diva placed another lingering kiss on her lips. “Hearing you express your own hurt makes me know that this can work. We can come out whichever way you’d like and I will support you one hundred percent, love.”

The Latina took a deep, cleansing breath and captured the lips of her soon to be not so secret love. “Thank you. I know you’ve got my back just as I have yours.” Grabbing the diva’s hand she led her from the stage. “Let’s head to yours and brainstorm with the Dad’s”

Santana chuckled as the tiny brunette squealed and started pulling her toward the start of their future.

Fini