Chapter Text
Warm.
Tight.
Johnny turns around in his sleep. His face is greeted by something soft.
What’s that? Not his pillow.
Johnny’s eyes flutter open.
Oh.
Tim.
When’d he get home?
Tim was deep in sleep but still had a tight grip around Johnny.
Johnny reaches down to try and push Tim’s off of him.
Tim grunts and doesn’t budge.
Stubborn.
Johnny sighs and leans closer.
Tim’s choker was off like usual. Which left a large pale ring around Tim’s neck.
Johnny smirks to himself right before he leans in and nips Tim’s neck.
As expected Tim jolts up, letting go of Johnny as his hand flies to his neck. “Jesus H.-Oh. Baby.”
“Hey, when-”
Johnny gets cut off as Tim leans in and kisses Johnny.
It does help disperse Johnny’s annoyance but only until Tim pulls away. “Mornin.”
“It’s like 3 am.”
“Is it?” Tim leans over looking at their bedside clock. “It’s 4. Why are you up?”
“You just got home.”
“I got home uh…” Tim looks up mentally counting. “3 hours ago.”
Johnny sighs and lays back on their pillow. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“You were sleeping, baby boy.”
“I haven’t seen you all day.”
Tim frowns and leans over Johnny, embracing him. “I’m here now.”
“Now…”
Tim kisses Johnny’s jaw. “You need to sleep, babe.”
Johnny turns around with a huff.
Tim puts his arms back around him. “Rest is good for the body.”
“You’re not a doctor.”
“I read things.” Tim chuckles and kisses Johnny on his shoulder, right on his birthmark. He always kisses Johnny there when he’s trying to get Johnny to relax.
Johnny reaches up and intertwines one of his hands with Tim’s. “Wake me up next time.”
“You work too-”
“Wake me up.”
“...Alright.” Tim kisses him again.
Johnny sighs and relaxes in Tim’s grip.
It doesn’t take long before Johnny can feel the even rise and fall on his back.
Johnny looks over his shoulder.
Tim is peacefully asleep.
Johnny looks back at the wall.
Sleep? He can’t sleep.
Johnny squeezes Tim’s hand.
By the time he woke up,
He’d be gone again.
--
Of course, he can only do so much to will away the need to rest.
So Johnny does open his eyes to the morning light.
And to an empty bed.
Johnny tosses a pillow at the empty spot next to him. “Jackass.”
The words do nothing to help the ache in his chest.
Johnny shuffles to the edge of the bed.
He sees a plate of food and coffee on their bedside table.
There was a note right next to their rocking-horse shaped alarm clock. Tim got it as a gift for him when he first moved in.
Johnny picks up the note. What was the point of writing this? He could just send a text.
‘Stay safe. Good luck with work. We need more eggs. Love you babe <3’
Johnny rolls his eyes. He could have told him this himself.
He still stuffs the note into his pajama shorts.
But that doesn’t ease the pain.
--
Johnny turns on the computer, stretching at his desk as he looks around the wing.
It doesn’t look too busy today.
Then again all it took was one lady going into labor to make things chaotic again.
Johnny looks back at his computer and checks up on their current list of patients.
“Hey~ I didn’t know you were a horse Joe-knee.”
Oh, of course.
Johnny leans back in his chair. “What are you talking about, Gyro?”
Gyro beams down at Johnny in his scrubs. His hair was down again. Which meant he was going to be complaining about the babies tugging at it again. “Cause of the long face!”
Johnny stares at Gyro. The joke barely made sense. “That’s funny.”
“Yeah I know, nyoho, but seriously why do you look blue? And I don’t mean your eyes, nyohoho.”
“I’ve got things on my mind.”
“Ah, boy problems.”
“Don’t phrase it like that. I’m not 12.”
Gyro leans onto the counter. “I gotta go kick your boyfriend’s ass?”
“No. It’s just the usual.” Johnny shrugs with a sigh. “Don’t you got kids to check?”
“The parents got ‘em. What’d Tim do?”
“Nothing. He just left early. Left me a note.”
Gyro leans on his palm. “Another call?”
“I don’t know. He’s working on some important case.” Johnny looks back at the computer.
“Meh, who needs him?” Gyro waves dismissively. “Let’s go to the ice rink and laugh at people.”
Johnny smirks. Not a bad idea. “Alright.”
“Okay, I got babies to go snip.”
“Don’t let the moms hear you say that.”
Gyro laughs and walks away with a wave.
Johnny goes back to his work.
After 15 minutes pass, he looks around.
Nobody’s at his station. Just some people going to and fro.
Johnny reaches under his scrubs and takes out the neatly folded note.
He puts it right inside his jar of notes with a deep sigh.
He’s so stupid.
--
“Nyoho, dumb kids.” Gyro laughs, setting a plate of cheesy fries next to Johnny.
“Why don’t you go try it then?” Johnny grabs a handful of fries and shoves it in his mouth.
“No fair. If I’ve gotta make an ass of myself so do you.”
“Yeah just push my chair on the rink I’ll figure it out.”
Gyro laughs again and pokes Johnny’s cheek. “There it is.”
“Cheese on my face?”
“Nah.” Gyro grabs a fry. “You’re smiling. Sort of. In your own weird way.”
Johnny puts his hand on his cheek. He didn’t feel like he was smiling. “Watching people fall is funny.”
“That and it’s nice to get away from relationship troubles.”
Johnny frowns. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“I know. That’s why we’re here. And you’re okay to hang out with.”
“Just okay.”
“Ehh.” Gyro makes a mocking face.
Johnny pulls the fries closer and sticks his tongue out.
“Hey!”
Johnny swipes Gyro’s hand away. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“You’re with anyone?”
“Nope! I’m single and ready to,” Gyro winks. “Mingle.”
“Bullshit. When was the last date you went on?”
“Hey, I haven’t found the right guy.”
“You’re not even looking for him.”
“Eh, it’ll happen when it happens.” Gyro snags back the fries.
“Hey, jerk off, give it back.”
“It’s my fries!”
“I paid for sodas!”
“Drink your stupid sodas then!”
—
Johnny sighs, shaking his head at a stupid meme Gyro sent him.
He had the worst humor. It was kind of funny but only because it was so awful.
Johnny sends a sarcastic reply and opens up the door to their shared apartment.
“Oh! Hey babe.” Tim waves from the couch.
Johnny perks up. If he was holding anything he’s sure he would have dropped it. Johnny pushes the door behind him and wheels closer. “Tim, what are you doing here?”
“Hey, don’t say it like that. I live here too.”
Johnny scoffs and climbs onto the couch. “Did you solve it?”
Tim wraps an arm around Johnny. “Solve what? All crime in the world?”
Johnny rolls his eyes, “Yeah.”
“Nah. Maybe tomorrow.” Tim kisses Johnny’s forehead. “The murder case I was on however is solved. Higher-ups are dealing with it now.”
Johnny’s lip quirks into a smile and he leans onto Tim.
Tim kisses Johnny. “Love you.”
“I love you too.” It’s said with a little too much strain. Too much desperation. But Tim doesn’t notice.
Tim shifts so Johnny can lay down on him. “Where were you?”
“Hanging out with a coworker. Should have texted me you were home. Would have left.”
“I thought you were at work. They need ya more.”
“Can just send a text. Even if I’m at work.”
“Well, I’m here now. You ate?”
“Yeah.”
“Hm, let’s watch something. Another detective keeps raving about this drama. Might be good.” Tim shifts up and grabs the remote.
Johnny nods along, putting his head on Tim’s chest.
It really didn’t matter what they watched.
As long as they were here.
--
“You want me to drop you off?” Tim asks.
It’s one of the rare mornings that he’s here with Johnny as he’s getting ready for work.
Johnny nods. He’s too elated to even speak.
“Think they’ll let me hang around? Don’t need to be at the station for a while.”
“Just pretend you’re a dad.”
Tim chuckles. “Yeah right. Anybody would notice I’m with you.”
“Newbie father charmed by the maternity ward receptionist. Sounds like a shitty movie.” Johnny rolls his chair to the door.
“Straight to TV.” Tim nods and opens the door for Johnny.
Johnny rolls out of the house, he keeps looking over his shoulder as he makes his way to the elevator.
Tim smiles at him every time, not saying anything about the action.
“Feels nice to take the elevator. Rushing down the stairs is pretty tiring.” Tim leans against the elevator as they go down.
“Just take it.”
“I’d love to but when I get the call I have to go fast. Can’t wait around.”
“You’re gonna get hurt like that.”
“No way. I’ve been doing it for years.” Tim ruffles Johnny’s hair. “No need to worry about me, baby boy.”
Johnny looks out at his distorted reflection on the door. “Think we can go somewhere tonight?”
“Where you want to go? Movies? Dinner?”
“Anywhere.”
“I’ll see what I can do. Oh, don’t forget four days from now.”
“Our anniversary. I wouldn’t forget.” Johnny says, pointedly looking at Tim.
“Yeah. Keep your night free.”
Johnny nods. He wasn’t the problem.
The doors slide open and they both head to Tim’s car.
Tim opens the doors first.
“Head in-” A melodic jingle cuts Tim off. “Hold on.”
Johnny waits outside the car. A pit starts to form inside his chest. It only grows deeper and colder as he sees Tim’s expression quickly become serious.
Johnny looks at the floor.
“Got it,” Tim says and hangs up his phone. “Hey, baby-”
“I’ll take the bus.”
“I can still drop you off.”
Johnny shakes his head. “You’re needed.”
“Thanks, babe. Love ya.” Tim leans down and kisses Johnny.
Johnny breaks away.
Tim pats Johnny’s shoulder and heads inside the car. He waves one last time before he drives off.
Johnny stares at the distance where he drove.
This couldn’t continue.
--
Johnny stares at his screen.
He’s been working on autopilot.
He doesn’t see the words in front of him.
Doesn’t hear his own voice as he speaks to the patients, the nurses, the pharmacy team.
Doesn’t even feel himself move his fingers against the keyboard.
He wonders if he’s dying.
He wonders if he cares.
“Johnny.”
The simple saying of his name releases him from his self imposed prison.
But it’s so fast. He was so unprepared.
So he ends up crumbling forward causing a nonsensical key smash to appear on the screen.
“Woah! Johnny.” Gyro leans over and picks Johnny’s head up from where he let it plop onto his desk. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
Johnny shivers. “I don’t think so.”
Gyro looks around. “Hey, why don’t we take an early break?”
“Someone needs to be here.”
“I’ll deal with it.” Gyro shrugs. “Don’t go anywhere.”
Johnny sighs and looks back at the screen. He slowly fixes his mistake. Every movement reverberated in his head.
Before he knows it someone’s tapping on his shoulder.
Another receptionist.
Johnny lets her take his spot. He can faintly hear Gyro saying something about early lunch to her.
Johnny follows Gyro to their break room. There’s barely anyone inside.
“So what the fuck was that?” Gyro asks point-blank.
“I’m tired.”
“Did you not sleep?”
“I did.”
“Shit we didn’t even drink yesterday.” Gyro takes one of the chairs nearby and sits down. “Is it your boy-”
“We need to break up.”
Gyro blinks in shock. “Uh-what-”
Johnny hugs himself. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Oh. Did you already break up with him?”
Johnny shakes his head. “I didn’t even think about it until now.”
“Ah, well. You do what’s best for you Johnny.”
Johnny makes a non-commital grunt at that.
“So you’re going to do it when you get home?”
A swirl of disgust and fear courses through his chest at the very thought.
Johnny shakes his head.
Gyro raises a brow. “So when are you-”
“I’m not going to do it.”
“Huh?”
“It’s Tim. Even if I said ‘we need to-to-you know.’ He wouldn’t accept it. He’d just be like oh no, give me a shot. I’ll fix it.”
“Well isn’t it better to have that conversation with him?”
“You don’t get it ‘cause you’re not in a relationship.” Johnny scoffs, bitter. “He’s gonna say whatever he fucking can and like the moron I am I’m going to stay.”
“Don’t downplay yourself.” Gyro leans on his palm. “So what are you going to do?”
“H-he needs to do it. Tim needs to break up with me.”
Gyro frowns. “If the guy is going to try and beg for you back what makes you think he’s gonna break up with you?”
“I know he’s not. He just needs a reason. A push you know.”
“This seems overly complicated.”
Johnny ignores the comment and continues. “What makes people head for the hills in a relationship? Shitty family. Well I have no family so that’s nothing.”
“Bad sex.”
“Wow.” Johnny looks at Gyro with fake disgust. “I see the kinda man you are.”
“Hey I thought it was an open question.”
“It’s not. I’m brainstorming.”
“Outloud.”
“Yes outloud.” Johnny runs his hand through his hair. “...Shitty exes.”
“And you were judging me. Why would someone’s past relationship matter?”
“Well you know crazy exes. The really possessive stalkery types. That would bug me out for sure.”
“Wouldn’t that just makes you scared for your partner?”
“A little but mostly I wouldn’t want to get involved. Don’t want to get stabbed in the middle of the night.”
“I think you’re alone there.”
“Oh, you wanna get stabbed?”
“No.”
Johnny looks over at Gyro. He was a big guy. Kind of intimidating if you didn’t know him. When he had a serious expression he did look cold and unapproachable…maybe…
“I think you just need to rest for a bit and get your mind off this business with Tim. Then when you’re feeling better you tell him what you want. No need for schemes.” Gyro says.
“You could be the ex.”
“Huh? Me?”
“You’re my best friend.”
“Low bar.”
“Shut up I'm serious. It’s not like you’re with anybody or doing anything.”
“So you think I just want to run around and act weird for fun.”
“Yeah.”
Gyro tsks. “You’re right, it sounds fun, but that doesn’t mean we should.”
“Oh, who’s gonna care.”
“Tim knows me.”
“No he doesn’t.”
“The fuck? You just called me your best friend.”
“I never said your name. I’ve just vaguely talked about you.”
“I feel insulted.”
“Well what else can I do? I’m-I’m fucking stuck. You say break up with him like it’s so easy but it’s just not. If he does it then it’ll be better for all of us.”
“Ugh, I don’t agree but…”
“You just want to play the part don’t you?”
“I’ve never done it! My dad got pissed if I even put on a fake voice while reading aloud.”
“Should have went into theater.”
“Missed my calling.” Gyro dramatically sighs. “Look I think it’s a dumb idea but if I don’t do it you’ll just come up with something as silly.”
“Such faith.”
“It’s true. When you see this doesn’t do anything you’ll have to confront him for real.”
“Maybe.” Johnny grumbles.
“I’ll do it.”
Johnny perks up. “See? That wasn’t hard.”
“But only under the condition that I get to do whatever I want with the role.”
“Sure whatever.”
“That means you’ve got to play along.”
“No duh.”
Gyro chuckles to himself. “Nyoho. I’ve already got some ideas.”
“Don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.”
“Hey, you wanted my help.”
“So you should come and make a scene tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? Why so soon?”
“This needs to be done before Christmas. When the holidays are here it’s over. He’s not gonna give a shit what happens he’ll stick it out just to bring me over to his dumb family.”
“Have you ever met them?”
“No. That’s why it’s such a big deal.”
Gyro taps his fingers. “Maybe-“
“No way. You agreed you can’t back out.”
Gyro raises his hands. “Alright alright. I’ll try it out once.”
Johnny reaches out his hand.
They shake their hands.
And for the first time in months,
Johnny grins from ear to ear.