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“Ohhh yeah… Double D’s gonna love this, knowin’ him!” Eddy snickered to himself as he admired the book Brief Answers To The Big Questions by Stephen Hawking currently sitting on the kitchen counter. He looked down at his dog, Cash, who sat there, happily wagging his tail and looking up at him. “What do you think, boy?”
Cash just looked at him with his usual smiley face, panting a little.
“It’s awesome, Dad! I know Mom’s gonna love it! ” Eddy made Cash say in his usual lousy ventriloquist act.
“You said it, Cash!” Eddy laughed, crouching down to pet his pooch. “Man, can you believe shoppin’ this year was so easy? Oven mitts for Mom, a cool watch for Dad, trade of this comic series for Ed, gift card for May, and now I got Double D this Stephen Hawking book he didn’t even have!”
“Everyone’s going to be so happy! ”
“Yep! They better be, I sure as hell shelled out more beer money than I should’ve for this shit! Good thing for credit cards, eh?” Eddy chuckled, patting his wallet currently sitting in his back pocket.
Moments later, he heard the key turn in the door and turned around to see Edd coming in. Quickly, Eddy hid the book back into his shopping bag and turned around, watching as Cash bounded up to Edd excitedly.
“Hi there, Cash! Yes, I’m home! Oh, who’s a good boy!” Edd cooed to the dog, crouching down to pet and scratch behind his ears. He looked up toward Eddy and smiled more. He stood and removed his coat, hanging it up. “Hello there, Eddy.”
“Hey, babe!” Eddy strode over and took his boyfriend into his arms, kissing him in greeting. “How was that Christmas party of yours?”
“Oh, it was lovely!” Edd smiled, bringing his arms around Eddy’s neck. “All of the groups within our class came together for a very lovely little party that went perfectly. We simply went to a little private venue, viewed a Christmas film, chatted endlessly about scientific topics, and oh, we even played physics charades! What fun that was!”
Snickering, Eddy shook his head and rubbed slow circles along Edd’s back, earning appreciative coos in response. “You and I definitely got way different definitions of fun, Sockhead. But it’s cute when you’re excited. Anyway, what’d ya get from the Secret Santa? It better not be a pack of napkins or some kinda cheap shit.”
“Oh no, not at all!” Edd chuckled, shaking his head. “We had a thirty dollar spending limit. You know I bought my receiver an anthology collection of essays done by his favourite philosopher. My Secret Santa gifted me Stephen Hawking’s Brief Answers To The Big Questions!”
“Wow, they actually knew what to get you!” Eddy chuckled and kissed Edd’s neck, going up to his jawline. He stopped for a moment as the words sunk in some more. “Wait, what Stephen Hawking book did they get ya?”
Edd pulled back and produced the book in question from his bag, beaming. “This one! I had been planning to buy it, but hadn’t gotten around to it! Isn’t that marvelous?”
Just like that, Eddy felt his stomach drop and his entire being freeze. Oh no. No. It couldn’t be. This was not happening. Did he seriously, seriously, have to now bring back a gift he’d bought? Just like in those crappy Christmas films with similar plotlines?
“Uh… yeah! Yep, that’s uh, that’s great!” Eddy turned on his heel and went to where his bag was. All the while cursing under his breath. “Awesome!”
“Are you all right?” Edd suddenly asked.
‘Shit shit shit shit shit SHIT! What am I gonna do?! I seriously gotta find him another present before tomorrow?!’ Eddy thought, trembling slightly. He realized Edd had asked him a question, so he straightened. “Definitely! Yep, mm-hmm! I uh… just gotta go out! Uh, get a couple cards! I forgot about ‘em! And I think I forgot a present!”
Edd sighed as he went into the living room area to sit on the couch. “I should have known you would leave a portion of your shopping to the last minute.”
“I know, I know, I am a real forgetful fred, what can I say?” Eddy said as he grabbed the shopping bag he’d hid the book in. In spite of his irritation from being reminded, he couldn’t help feeling relieved. At least it wouldn’t look the least bit suspicious to Edd that this was happening.
“It’s the 23rd, Eddy.” Edd said, taking out his phone. “It might be hard to find what you’re looking for.”
“Don’t sweat it Double D, I’ll be fine!” Eddy hurried over to put on his boots and grab his coat. “Uh, should I get anything while I’m out? Like, uh, milk or whatever?”
“I’ll text you with a list if need be.” Edd replied, glancing at him. “If you’re going to the mall, I suggest you park at least a block away. I had driven by it earlier and the parking lot is quite congested.”
Eddy groaned, zipping up his coat and grabbing for the doorknob. “Fuuuck… Of course it is. Okay okay, I’ll find a spot nearby. See ya!”
Before he could open the door, Edd piped up. “Darling, aren’t you forgetting something?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Eddy rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but went over to where Edd was sitting. He leaned down and kissed him heartily, giving a gentle pat to his cheek. “I’ll be back later Double D. Oh apple of my eye. Oh love of my life .” He added teasingly.
Edd giggled, shaking his head and then pointing to the coffee table. “Your car keys.”
Eddy glanced down, finding his keys innocently sitting on the coffee table where he’d tossed them earlier.“...Oh.”
Why couldn’t the floor just open up and swallow him? Or sink in and then erupt in blood? Eddy averted his gaze before picking up the keys and shoving them into his pocket.
“Thanks babe, gotta go!” He patted Edd’s hat before hurrying out the door and closing it behind him. As he went along the hallway, he took a few breaths and power-walked to the elevator around the corner. “S’gonna be fine… Gonna be fine… I just gotta return it. It’ll be a piece of cake…”
----
“Whaddya mean, I can’t return it?!” Eddy shouted, clutching at the counter.
“I-I-I’m s-sorry sir!” Stammered the freckled-faced braces-laden teenage boy staring at him with wide eyes. Along with spitting when he spoke. “We don’t accept returns!”
“It’s a fucking BOOK, not underwear!” Eddy yelled, smacking the receipt on top of the book. “I even kept the damn receipt after what happened last year!”
“S-Sorry, we don’t accept returns!”
“Why the hell not?!”
“It’s c-c-company Policy!”
“It’s fucking stupid is what it is!”
The cashier gulped, “There’s nothing I can do! We can’t take it back!”
“God-fucking-damn it!” Eddy snarled, snatching the book from the counter. “I wanna speak to your manager, this is bullshit!”
Just as the cashier gulped and reached for a phone, a tall, very large man stepped out a door at the back. Looking more like a club bouncer than a manager, he strode over, looking as though he were just done with everything.
“Is there a problem?” The manager wanted to know, looking pointedly at Eddy.
Although the urge to run was within at the sight of such a man, Eddy stood his ground. “What’s this company policy about no returns?! That’s stupid! It ain’t a sex toy or panties!”
The teenager cringed some more, while the manager sighed heavily.
“This is just how we operate here, kid. We want to get rid of inventory and have no desire for returns. Sorry. Nothing we can do. It’s final sale.” Said the manager.
“You can’t even take it for store credit?!” Eddy demanded incredulously.
The manager shook his head. “Sorry, kid. No can do. Final sale.”
“This is bullshit!”
“Final sale.”
“You can’t seriously think this is a good idea!”
“Final. Sale.”
Gripping the book, Eddy glared daggers at the manager, who just glared right back. The knuckles of his free hand were whitening as they clutched at the counter. Seeing this was going nowhere, he grabbed the book and let out a snarl.
“Thanks for fucking nothing!”
He turned around and could see the lineup of people that had formed behind him. Quite a few were annoyed by the holdup, a few others were looking apologetic, and some just glared. Great. This just had to happen. Still, Eddy kept his composure and head high as he breezed past the line.
“Good luck, they don’t take returns!” He said to the other shoppers.
All but storming out the store, Eddy wandered about the mall, scanning for any store that would be useful. However, he still had the damn book. That he paid money for. Money he didn’t get back. What was he supposed to do with it? Give it to Edd and force him to sell the other copy? It sounded good, but he had a feeling it would just be opening a can of worms. Sure, he wanted to sell this copy, but putting it on eBay or Amazon would take too long. He had to sell it now .
Finding a bench, Eddy sat down upon it and set the book next to him. He sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging, and buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Some schmuck in Edd’s class, study group, got him the same book . How did this happen? Edd’s interest in literature was not limited enough to bring forth such a coincidence.
“I knew I should’ve bought him that damn book about Tesla…” Eddy groaned to himself. The defeat weighed him down like a ball and chain strapped to his ankle. “Fuck! What the hell am I supposed to do now?!”
“Well, you’re just as crass as ever, aren’t you?”
That voice. Eddy looked up, coming to see none other than Jimmy standing a few feet away. His hands were planted on his hips, a bag from a makeup shop looped along his wrist, and dressed much like a fancy designer stereotype. Along with a sweater tied around his shoulders. Where was his winter coat? His long blonde hair was tied back in an elegant man bun, further accentuating the typical flamboyant style he was going for.
“Jimmy?” Eddy said, gaping at him. “What’re you doin’ here?”
Jimmy rolled his eyes, as though irritated by such a question. “It’s a mall, of course. I had shopping to do. Today was our last performance of The Nutcracker and of course I’m looking to celebrate. Judging by your book, posture, and imminent frustration, you’re doing last-minute Christmas shopping, aren’t you?”
Eddy huffed and averted his gaze. “So what? It ain’t my fault some schmuck got Double D the same present I got him.”
“Ooooh, you two are still a thing?” Jimmy smirked.
“ Duh. Course we are.” Eddy said, rolling his eyes.
“Ah, I see. I’m amazed that Double D is willing to put up with you… But then again, I can’t say I’m too surprised.” Jimmy remarked with a chuckle.
Eddy narrowed his eyes and dug his fingers into the cushion beneath him. “Whaddya want, Jimmy? I’m kinda havin’ trouble here.”
“There now… no need to be so brash,” Jimmy tut-tutted, chuckling. “What kind of trouble?”
“I bought this stupid book from a store that sells all kinds of stuff. It’s like a discount Target or something. They have books there for way less than the bookstore at the other end of the mall. But this damn store doesn’t take returns!” Eddy griped, glaring down at the book as it were the offender. “So I’m stuck with this stupid thing and can’t get my money back to find a better present.”
“I see…” Jimmy rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?”
Eddy snorted, shaking his head. “Much as I appreciate the Happy Mask Salesman reference, it ain’t makin’ me feel better.”
“I don’t know what that means or who that is.” Jimmy frowned. He waved it off dismissively, “Well, Eddy, it just so happens that the Holiday season has put me in a very charitable mood. I’d be willing to help you.”
“Really?” Eddy looked up at him. “That’d be real swell if ya did. But okay, what’s the catch?”
“Catch?” Jimmy’s darkened, curved eyebrows rose. “Why Eddy, what makes you assume there’s a catch?”
“By catch, I meant, what’s the price? What am I gonna give you in return? You can’t get somethin’ for nothing.” Eddy pointed out.
“Oh, you are such a silly goose!” Jimmy laughed, shaking his head. “Well, I can’t fault you for spotting these sorts of things, then. I’m going to have to take some time to think about what you owe me. But for now, I’m willing to offer a little assistance. There’s a second-hand bookstore down on Gaiman street that I’m sure will be very useful. It’s called Spines Abound.”
Eddy felt his heart leap and he immediately stood up, shoving the book back into his bag. “Aw man, sweet! I’ll definitely be able to sell the book there! Those second-hand places take everything!”
“There you have it, you have a solution to one problem.” Jimmy folded his arms over his chest. “So, do you have a possible idea of what you’ll get for Double D since this book is out of the question?”
“Uh…” Eddy faltered slightly, then straightened and waved it off. “I’ll figure it out when I get there! Bet I can find another book he’d like.”
“Do you even have a plan?” Jimmy asked incredulously. “Eddy, honestly. When you’re buying a gift for someone, you always have a backup plan in case you can’t get the initial gift. Especially when that person is your significant other.”
“Newsflash, I do!” Eddy shot back. “It’s just too damn expensive.”
“What is it, then?”
“A violin. He had one for a while but Ed broke it by accident. He’s been saving up to fix it and I figured I’d get him one before I realized how fucking expensive they are.”
Jimmy tsked and shook his head. “Well, Eddy, I don’t want to tell you what to do, but don’t you think it would be a lot nicer if you replaced his violin? While even I know he loves good reading material, maybe it would be a much better option.”
“I get that, but it ain’t easy to find one that’s cheap and won’t break after the first stroke!” Eddy pointed out.
“Well, that’s where you should keep looking. It’s true that a violin that’s in good condition would be a bit pricey. But maybe it could be worth looking into?” Jimmy bounced his eyebrows. “You love Double D, don’t you?”
What was Jimmy’s endgame with this? Something just didn’t feel right, considering their past events, but was he right to suspect? Eddy just stared at him, while a completely undeterred Jimmy just looked back at him with a smug, expectant look.
“For cryin’ out loud, are you seriously asking me that?” Eddy said incredulously.
“Of course I am, silly. Why wouldn’t I ask?” Jimmy crooned.
“Ugh. Yes, of course I do. There, happy?”
“Good to know. And you want to make him happy, right?”
Eddy rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “For cryin’ out loud, if what I just answered wasn’t clear enough, yes! Now would ya help me or have I gotta go up onto the rooftops and shout all my mushy feelings?”
“That’d be entertaining as all hell,” Jimmy giggled at the thought. “Come on now Eddy, there’s no need to be so grouchy. I’m here to help, aren’t I?”
“You better be.” Eddy sighed and looked at a nearby clock to see the time. “So where the hell am I gonna find a violin, before tomorrow, that’s cheap?”
Jimmy seemingly whipped a phone from out of nowhere and tapped the screen a few times. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the pawn shop on Rivington avenue? Someone like you definitely would, I bet.”
“Whaddya mean someone like-” Eddy began but stopped himself upon seeing Jimmy’s warning stare. “Fine! Yes, I know that place. I don’t go there a whole lot but I know where it is. Ya think they might have one?”
“They might, or they might not. I can’t confirm that.” Jimmy said coolly with a smirk. “It doesn’t hurt to look. Or, you could always try that music store.”
It wasn’t a bad idea overall. Eddy decided, what the hell. He could imagine that Edd’s face would light up like their Christmas tree if he got a new violin. That would make it worth everything. Was it tacky to buy someone a gift that they were planning to buy or saving up to buy? He had no idea. But whatever.
“Guess I better get goin’ then.” Eddy said, turning to go. “Uh, thanks for the advice, I’ll give it a shot.”
“Oh, you’re welcome. I had a feeling you’d need some help from the likes of me.” Jimmy giggled, coming up to stand beside him. “Now then, I’ll just go get my coat and we can head off. I’ve alread shopped for what I needed here, anyway.”
“Wait, huh? We?” Eddy repeated, puzzled. “Uh… you wanna walk with me to my car?”
Jimmy laughed, as if Eddy had said something hilarious. “No, silly. I’m going to be accompanying you.”
“...Why? To make sure I’m actually gonna take your advice?” Eddy said incredulously. “Why the hell would you care ? It ain’t gonna matter to you.”
“Well, as much as that line of thinking does indeed pertain to the factor that you can’t be trusted… No no, not at all.” Jimmy shook his head and started to lead the way down the mall. “I just think you could use a little help. Besides, it will also serve as a good opportunity for you to fulfill your favour to me.”
“Favour? All ya did was give me advice. How’s that a favour? Since when do you owe someone for advice?”
“And I’m taking time out of my day, when I could be going home and preparing for the afterparty tonight.” Jimmy pointed out with a leer. “I’m accompanying you on this conquest, on the day before Christmas Eve, so that you can get dear boyfriend a nice present after you fucked up.”
“I didn’t fuck up!” Eddy protested and felt his neck hairs bristling. “It was a goddamn coincidence that the Secret Santa guy got him the same thing I did!”
Jimmy shrugged and idly examined his clearly manicured fingernails. “Which shows you truly should have thought harder about what to buy him.”
“I got him something I knew he’d like and he didn’t have!” Eddy stated with indignation.
“Please, anyone would get Double D a book, that’s one of the easiest things to buy for him.” Jimmy remarked, still examining his nails.
“Oh, and I bet you would’ve gotten him a waaaaay better gift?” Eddy rolled his eyes.
“That depends, it’s very possible. But since I’m not, I guess we’ll never know.” Jimmy said airily, waving it off. “Come on now, let’s not dilly.”
Having a pretty good feeling he was going to regret this, Eddy mutely walked alongside him. He had no idea how this would turn out, but he had to try. It would mean selling the book and hopefully procuring a violin. It had to work, he needed to get this all done by tomorrow. Taking risks and throwing caution to the wind was, apparently, what he did best, right?
----
“Ten bucks?!” Eddy yelped, taken aback. “I paid twenty for it! I just bought it, it’s brand-fucking-new! And it’s usually thirty bucks!”
The cashier behind the counter, who was also the owner, nodded slowly. “I understand that, sir. But I’m taking the market value into consideration.”
“It’s a book by Stephen Hawking, not some trashy romance book!” Eddy protested. “Come on, can’t we at least cut a deal?”
Jimmy stepped up to the counter, looking incredibly poised. “Maybe I can help. You’re a businessman, Peter. You can understand the need of looking for a good bargain, can’t you?”
The owner, Peter, blinked. “Aw Jim, I understand what you’re trying to get at, but I have to consider the market value of this book. I already have one other copy of it, I can’t justify buying it for more.”
“Of course. You have your business to think about and you have to make money too.” Jimmy said calmly, giving a smile. “But it’s true that the book is in excellent condition. I think we can meet in the middle, don’t you think?”
Eddy glanced at Jimmy, apprehension and envy stirring inside. He looked back at Peter and lowered his voice. “Okay fine, how ‘bout fifteen?”
“Twelve.” Peter countered.
“Fine, fourteen!”
“Twelve-fifty.”
Eddy sighed and rolled his eyes, “Did I fucking stutter? I said four-”
“Eddy, stop that.” Jimmy scolded. “You’re not helping your case with that language. Sorry Peter, my friend here is very, very brash and aggressive. But I can’t blame him, he’s just trying so hard to find a nice present for his significant other, you know how that goes. How about thirteen?”
The owner looked apprehensive, then nodded with a light smile. “Okay, thirteen dollars.”
“Is that acceptable, Eddy?” Jimmy asked pointedly.
Of course Eddy wanted to take the book and tell Jimmy to shove it, he sighed and relented. Getting this book off his hands was the end goal, anyway. The owner took the book, reached into his cash register, and gave him the money.
“Thanks, man.” Eddy managed to say in a much softer tone than earlier. “Uh, sorry about that.”
Peter waved it off. “It’s all right, sir. Holiday stress is an understandable struggle.”
“Isn’t it, though?” Jimmy agreed with a chuckle. “Well then, we’d best be off. Good day, Peter. I’ll see you and Melissa for cocktails next week!”
The two exited the store after exchanges of holiday goodwill were made. As relieved as Eddy felt by now to be rid of the book, it still left the question or whether or not he’d succeed in procuring Edd’s gift. Now as he left, he glanced toward Jimmy who walked in perfect stride next to him, hands in his coat pockets, looking straight ahead. Was Jimmy still thinking to tag along?
“Hey, listen. Thanks for… ya know, not outing me.” Eddy mumbled.
“You don’t have to thank me for that.” Jimmy said, giving a light smile. “I relate very well to what that’s like.”
“Yeah. It sucks, I mean… you wanna be out and not give a shit, but it ain’t easy.”
“You don’t need to tell me that.”
They glanced at one another and shared a light nod, then headed back to Eddy’s car. Of course Jimmy slid into the passenger seat completely undeterred. Welp, he could put up with this for the next little while. Even if it left the question of what he had to do in order to return the favour.
Now he just had to see if that pawn shop had a violin at a good price...
----
“A hundred bucks?!” Eddy exclaimed upon checking the tag of the violin he’d found.
“Well, considering the prices of a brand new violin, or, heaven forbid, used violin? In excellent condition? This isn't a cheap brand, either. It’s top quality.” Jimmy said pointedly. “I would say that’s a huge bargain if I ever saw one.”
“It’s almost a hundred bucks, I don’t have that much!” Eddy moaned, sighing heavily in defeat. “Fucking hell, I’m just gonna be back at square one!”
Jimmy chuckled and patted him on the back. “Oh come now Eddy, all hope isn’t lost. I think we can work out an arrangement, don’t you think? If I pay for it, you can work it off. By being ‘Santa’s Little Helper’ to Sarah and I, for a week. That’s all you need to do.”
Eddy gaped, wide-eyed and completely taken aback. But he should’ve seen this coming, right? He guessed probably. Jimmy just stared at him with that same pleasant but smarmy smile he’d developed over the years.
“You’re tryin’ to make me a slave?!”
“Come on, don’t put it that way. It’s more like indentured servitude. Slavery, honestly. Do you have to be so barbaric?”
Looking at the violin, Eddy set it back down where he’d found it. “No way! I’m not gonna be some servant butler whatever! That’s stupid!”
“All right then.” Jimmy smiled pleasantly. “That’s your choice, Eddy. I wasn’t going to force you, what kind of man do you think I am?”
“You don’t want me to answer that.” Eddy said coldly. He sighed and glanced back at the violin forlornly and felt his heart sink. Great. He had one shot, just one shot , but it was gone. “Look, I’m just gonna go.”
“Don’t beat yourself up, now.” Jimmy admonished gently as he went over to where Eddy was standing. “You’ll find him something else, I’m sure.”
“I guess…” Eddy groaned, now looking around the store.
“In the meantime, I think I might just have the most lovely gift for Sarah!” Jimmy exclaimed excitedly, picking something up. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”
“What are you gonna-” Eddy stopped short when he saw what Jimmy had picked up. “Double D’s violin?!”
“Tut tut, it’s not his violin, silly. It’s a violin and doesn’t belong to anyone.” Jimmy said haughtily, rolling his eyes.
“What the hell?!” Eddy exclaimed, stepping over to him. “You can’t just do that!”
“Why not? You’re not buying it, no one else is currently buying it, so where does it say that I can’t legally do that?” Jimmy asked, still smiling. “I’m well within my rights to do this, I’ll have you know.”
Eddy opened his mouth to argue, but found he had no way to argue. Jimmy was right, much to his chagrin. All he could do was glare, to which Jimmy didn’t seem deterred by.
“Ugh… c’mon Jimmy, seriously. There’s gotta be another way.” He decided to plead.
“I’m afraid not. Either serve Sarah and myself for a week, or no deal.” Jimmy replied, shaking his head.
All Eddy could do was stand there as the wave of defeat washed over him. Nothing he would say or do could dissuade this cunning son of a bitch, that was certain. Jimmy in turn just smirked and headed off to the counter to pay for his purchase. Unable to watch a second longer, Eddy fled from the shop and headed for his car.
------
Eddy quietly entered the apartment, still feeling as though he were dragging a ball and chain. He closed the door, took a quick glance around, set the shopping bag down and removed his coat and boots. Once he was situated, he started to put away the grocery items and heard footsteps. Was it Edd? No, they were too heavy to be. He glanced in the doorway, finding Ed walking in.
“Hiya, Eddy!” Ed greeted upon seeing him.
Eddy exhaled and greeted him with a light wave. “Hey, Lumpy.”
“Aw, kitty cat go meow?” Ed said, looking worried now. “What’s wrong?”
“Is… Double D around?” Eddy asked cautiously. “Think I saw his boots and jacket still here."
Ed nodded, jerking his thumb toward the bedroom that was once Edd’s, but was more of a study/storage room now that Edd and Eddy slept in the latter’s bed together. “He’s listening to a podcast for a little bit!”
“Oh, good.” Eddy sighed, getting a beer from the fridge and opening the tab. “Fuck… I got him a present, it was a book. But turns out that his Secret Santa guy got him the same book! So I went out to take it back and get him another one. Long story short, Jimmy ruined everything and now I’m fucking stuck. I got him another book, but I know it ain’t the same. I wanted to get him a new violin, but that didn’t work.”
“Awww…” Ed pouted sadly, reaching over to squeeze Eddy’s shoulder. “At least you tried, Eddy!”
“Tryin’ ain’t enough!” Eddy uttered, shaking his head. “I went through Hell trying to get him this! Fuck! He’s gonna open it, kinda smile to be polite and then be all disappointed! Just ‘cause I couldn’t get him something better!”
Ed shook his head. “You know Double D isn’t like that, Eddy.”
“He always gets me awesome presents every year for Christmas or my birthday!” Eddy exclaimed, shooting glances toward Edd’s study door. He sighed, his heart falling to his stomach. “And I just, ya know, wanna do that too.”
“But you do, Eddy!” Ed reassured him with a smile. “You give him presents like Santa Claus!”
Eddy looked at Ed, then at Edd’s door again, and let his shoulders relax. “I guess…”
“Don’t worry!” Ed patted his head. “You know he will be very happy!”
“I hope so.” Eddy sighed, going out of the kitchen and sitting on the couch. Cash immediately jumped up next to him, laying his head on his thigh. With a smile, Eddy pet him and scratched behind his ears. “Thanks, boy.”
'Stupid Jimmy… should’ve known not to trust him! He just HAD to fuck things up and waste my time… That brilliant son of a bitch… Never should’ve taught him what Bro taught me…’ He thought, gritting his teeth a little. 'All ‘cause I wanted to get Double D a violin!’
“Now that Mom said I can stop taking violin lessons, I wanted to give Double D the music book she made me use! I couldn’t play any of them, but I bet he can!” Ed mentioned as he followed and sat on the couch too.
“No kidding, even after all this time you still suck!” Eddy couldn’t help teasing.
Ed, not offended, just laughed. “Yup!”
Eddy chuckled, relaxing all the more. He pulled Cash onto his lap for a little extra comfort, allowing the little dog to nuzzle him. It was still crazy with how it all turned out and there was still that nagging sensation in his gut. All he could hope for was that Ed would be right.
“So what’d you do with that violin your mom gave ya?” Eddy asked, scratching Cash’s sides.
“It’s still in its case, sitting in a box under my bed!” Ed replied, taking out his phone and tapping at it. “After this, I’m going to try to trade it for a chicken!”
“...Who’d trade ya a chicken for a violin?” Eddy looked at him weirdly.
“You never know, Eddy. You never know.” Ed gave him a wry smile.
Eddy snorted and shrugged, going back to playing with Cash for a bit. At least, until Ed’s words sunk in just a little. As if a lightbulb had gone off above his head, Eddy sat up straighter, nearly startling Cash.
‘Duh, I could ask Ed for his! ’ Eddy thought. He looked down at his dog and chuckled, petting him and rubbing his belly. “Sorry boy! I just got a brilliant idea! Ed, how ‘bout you give me the violin? I can give it to Double D tomorrow, it’d be perfect! I’ll even give ya twenty bucks for it!”
“Ooh!” Ed looked surprised at this, pondered, and then smiled brightly. “Sure, Eddy! You can give it to Double D!”
“Yes!” Eddy cheered, hugging Cash and then gently setting him to the floor. He leaned over and hugged Ed tightly. “Thanks Ed, you’re a pal!”
“Aww, you’re welcome!” Ed grinned widely and hugged him back. “Anything to help my buddies!”
“Are you kidding, it’s saving my ass big time!” Eddy laughed, patting his back and then pulling away. At least it was clear that Ed showered at some point today. He reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet and thrust a twenty dollar bill into Ed’s hand. “Here, take it! Now go get it, so I can wrap it and find a way to make it not look like a violin shape!”
Ed took the money and pocketed it before getting up, “Don’t worry Eddy, you can think of the right passages in the pathways of yesterday to do this!”
“...I have no idea what you just said, but I’ll take it!”
------
December 24th became something of a small tradition for the Eds ever since moving in together. The three of them, along with May, would have a little lunch together and exchange gifts. After that, Ed and May would depart to spend the evening with Sarah and Ed’s foster parents. Along with a quick visit to their biological parents.
All the while, Edd and Eddy would spend the evening together; something they’d done even before becoming a couple. Christmas Day would have Ed and May spending the day with the Kankers, while Edd and Eddy spent it with Eddy’s parents.
Right now, after having their Christmas lunch, the four of them were hanging around the medium-sized fake tree, drinking some eggnog. So far so good, everyone was happy with the gifts they’d received.
When Eddy received his gift from Edd, which was a Greatest Hits CD of a 1960’s musician he sadly couldn’t locate a record of. Along with a small bottle of cologne he’d upgraded to that he knew Edd really liked the smell of on him. Needless to say, Eddy was thrilled. But the guilt sprang forth in his gut enough to make him want to get this over with now . He had to.
Which was what led to him thrusting the wrapped box into Edd’s hands.
“Here Sockhead, open it! C’mon, you gotta open it!” Eddy urged, practically shoving it now.
“Settle down Eddy, I’m going to!” Edd reassured, taking the box from him. “Goodness, this is quite heftier than I anticipated.”
“Oh boy, better not be one of those boxes inside another box inside another box till the last one is tiny!” May remarked with a laugh.
“That was ONE time! And was real annoying since I had to wrap ‘em all!” Eddy griped.
Edd by then had, of course, carefully unwrapped the box and set the wrapping paper aside. He pulled open the flaps and peered into the box, intrigued. He smiled widely and pulled out the book from it. This time the book was a science fiction novel by an author that he knew Edd liked.
“Oh, thank you Eddy!” Edd beamed as he read the cover, then the back of it. “This certainly does look intriguing!” He leaned over and wrapped his arms around Eddy’s neck, kissing his cheek.
Although relieved that the preliminary present was a success, Eddy still tensed with anticipation. He stroked Edd’s hat and patted him on the back, managing to laugh.
“Don’t thank me yet, Sockhead! There’s somethin’ else in there!” Eddy pointed at the box.
“Is there? Goodness Eddy, you’re spoiling me.” Edd giggled, peering into the box and then pulling out a misshapen wrapped object.
“Spoiled like sweet sugar!” Ed threw in.
“Don’t get used to it.” Eddy winked. He sucked in his gut with anticipating and held his breath.
Finally, Edd removed the wrapping paper and it revealed the violin case. His eyes widened and it looked as though he’d stopped breathing. For a few moments he stared at it, as if trying to process what it was. His fingers gently clenched along the case before he finally laid it across his lap and undid the latches. When he opened the lid, his eyes went wider and his mouth dropped. Did he somehow not expect it to be a violin?
“Oh my goodness…” Edd uttered, his voice cracking.
“Whoa! A whole violin!” May gaped. “Wow!”
Eddy gulped a bit, but kept his cool. Even if his stomach was doing flip flops and his heart was racing. “Sooo… whaddya think?”
Edd looked at him, tears in his eyes, and smiled widely. “I… I love it! I love it! My goodness Eddy, what a splendid idea! I had considered getting mine fixed, but I think it was a far better idea to just replace it! Oh, my love, thank you ! Thank you so much! I can’t even begin to describe how wonderful this is!”
Setting the case aside carefully, Edd all but launched himself into Eddy and hugged him tightly, settling into his lap. As Eddy regained himself and hugged Edd back, he was suddenly assaulted by an onslaught of kisses. With their friends were present. Blushing darkly, Eddy struggled between surrendering and pulling back, just to save that for later, but Edd didn’t relent.
“Awww!” Ed giggled.
“Should we… leave them alone?” May asked.
Laughing a bit, Edd chuckled and finished with one last kiss to Eddy’s cheek before pulling back. “My apologies, everyone. I suppose I became a little carried away. I’m just so thrilled, I couldn’t contain it.”
Regaining himself, Eddy laughed a bit, “Save it for after they leave, ya sappy schmuck!”
“Didn’t need to know that!” May stuck her tongue out.
“Yes you did and you know it!” Eddy stuck his tongue out right back.
“Children...” Edd rolled his eyes and then got off his lap (for now…) before returning to his original seat. He looked back down at the violin with immense glee and picked it back up, examining it.
May stared, then turned to Ed before whispering something in his ear. Ed grinned and nodded in response. Eddy glanced at them, having a pretty good idea of what May was asking. With a smile, Ed winked at him and Eddy did it back.
“Thank you again, Eddy. I know that my, well, appreciation for the instrument has been the subject of irritation for you since we were children, but I appreciate you replacing my broken one immensely.” Edd said with a bright smile.
“Don’t mention it, Double D. S’nothing, glad ya like it. Merry Christmas and all that shit.” Eddy quickly reached for his eggnog and downed a generous gulp.
When his phone went off, Eddy glanced at it, finding a push notification. It was a text from Jimmy, who had sent a text that read: Hope you managed to find SOMETHING. I know dear Sarah will be very, very happy with her brand new violin. ;) Merry Christmas.
For a moment, Eddy wanted to write back of his triumph, and probably throw a few insults. But, he realized, maybe later. Or heck, maybe Jimmy didn’t need to know. Not right now, anyway. Instead, he put his phone into his pocket and went back to watching Edd marveling over the violin.
At least his misadventure turned out to be successful. Moreso than he’d ever expected.