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It is no secret that Yuuki carries a certain .. fondness for Akira, the leader of the Phantom Thieves. He looks at it more as a childish admiration, a stupid crush, nothing worth pursuing.
Instead he has filled his days with longing gazes thrown at Akira whenever he isn't looking. The affection he feels is something he wants to keep for himself, something secret, not meant for anyone else.
He's not used to the attention he receives from Akira or any of his friends. It makes the secrecy he's sworn to himself a lot harder to maintain, especially when Akira's friends keep throwing knowing glances his way. It makes his cheeks heat up in shame, like he's a child who's been caught doing something he shouldn't be doing.
It's worst when he somehow ends up alone with Akira. His heart aches with the need to spill over and confess all his innocent feelings but he can never open his mouth and do it. Akira deserves better. Yuuki could never live up to what Akira expects from him, nevermind as a boyfriend. Akira deserves perfection rivaling his own, a challenge, someone who keeps him interested.
Yuuki is so dull and boring, he has nothing to offer.
It's a shock when Yuuki is invited to spend the night at LeBlanc with Akira and when he shows up it's just the two of them. It's never just the two of them. Not even the cat is there, or the owner of the cafe. It feels weirdly intimate but that has to be Yuuki's imagination running wild. They just want to study, maybe watch a movie later, and then go to sleep. There's nothing weird or intimate about this.
But then why does Akira keep shifting to be closer to him? Why can't he focus on a single equation? He wants to show Akira that he's good, that he can at least keep up with schoolwork, and yet here he is relying on Akira to explain everything to him. He knows what he has to do, how to solve the problems, but Akira is so close and his hair smells so nice and his skin looks so soft and his lips--
Wait, what?
Oh no, Akira is staring at him, he's so close, when did he come so close? Why can Yuuki smell his shampoo? Why can he see the subtle imperfections in Akira's skin? The faint darkness under his eyes that tells the story of a tiredness sleep alone can't fix.
Despite the closeness and the urgency of his current situation, Yuuki can't find it in himself to turn away. He can't tear his gaze from Akira's face, transfixed by the soft texture. His heart is so full, he will never be this close to Akira again.
Yuuki is so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn't notice Akira is looking at him the same, staring with wonder in his gaze as if he's never seen something this beautiful in his life.
Much unlike Yuuki, Akira hasn't given up on finding his luck though, drawing closer until their breaths mingle, his hand reaches out to gently cup Yuuki's cheek and before Yuuki can realize the present and pull away, Akira's soft lipa descend on his own.
A soft yelp escapes him before he lets himself be pulled in by the moment. It doesn't last nearly as long as he wants to and his heart aches with the need to pull Akira back, to keep kissing him.
What he does instead is flinch away as if he's been burned, staring at Akira with horror in his eyes who returns his gaze with pain and longing. The hand he had extended to hold Yuuki, drops down to his lap, his pose speaking of defeat.
"Akira, I--" He wants to apologize, to explain, but he can't find the words. His breathing picks up the same way it does when Kamoshida used to call him to his office but this is different. He doesn't fear for his life, he fears for Akira's.
"You--", he tries again before taking a deep breath and starting over once more. "We can't!"
Yuuki slowly crawls back, bringing as much distance between them as the attic will allow. "I already destroyed your reputation. Please don't let me destroy more of it. Please-- If they see us together, they will hate you even more."
He can't taint Akira even more, he's filthy, dirty, he only brings harm. But his thoughts come to a screeching halt when Akira hurries to close the distance between them and pulls Yuuki into a hug.
"Don't push me away." Akira's voice comes out as a whisper, heavy with emotion and Yuuki can't find it in himself to fight anymore, his walls shattering on impact. He buries his face against Akira's chest and clings to his shirt as if he might drift away if he doesn't. As if this is a dream and it'll disappear if he dares to let go.
"Okay", he says, finally, and it's all the permission Akira needs to kiss him again.