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It was just an lazy cold afternoon like any others. An irken invader and a paranormal investigator were just sitting together as the human put some movie boring on his computer so he couldlay down on his bed and cuddle his alien boyfriend and then proceed to do something more than just cuddling.
Well, at least that WAS the plan Dib had in mind when he choose a really boring movie to watch. But apparently Zim was too entertained by this crappy movie to respond any of the times where the paranormal investigator tried to warm things up.
Dib left out a deep frustrated sigh while observing his partner. It wasn't like he was desperate for having sex, and he was fine taking things slow for Zim. But it was just too slow. He was a teenager for God sake. He wanted some other relief than his own hand, and it looked like their relationshio wasn't showing any signs of making progress in that area.
He continued to stare at the irken for a moment before something cross his mind. "Hey, Zim" he called, receiving only a little ' hum' as answer "Do you even, huh… Feel attracted to me?" He asked a little bit insecure. The alien actually looked away from the movie and stared at him surprised.
"Well… Zim does find the human aesthetic pleasant!" He responded simply.
"Yeah but… You know… In a sexually way…" Don squint, trying to guess what as going on in his boyfriend's head. After years he got really good at "reading" Zim, but right now the neutral expression that the alien kept on his face was practically indecipherable, unless for the little twitch of his antennas.
The irken thought about the question a little bit. Was he sexually attracted to Dib? Well, he did find that the human was somehow pretty in his own way, and Zim did enjoy dating him, and he wasn't exactly opposed to the physical part of their relationship (even if wasn't so active) and probably didn't had anything against doing more sexual stuff in the future.
But actually having the desire for sex with specifically Dib?
"No" He finally answered shortly, not wanting to extend the talk too much, trying to just get back to watch the movie.
"What?" Dib frowned, caught a little off guard by the answer, getting himself in sitting position "Why?"
"Eh…" Zim shrugged a little bit uncomfortable "I don't know..?" He muttered confused "Can't we just…" He pointed at the movie again, hoping that they would just get over it.
"You don't want to have sex with me?" Dib asked looking like he genuinely wasn't really understand. It was not like he just wanted to force the irken to do it for his own personal gain, but he was totally caught off guard by the lack of sexual interest on Zim.
"It's not like that-" He tried to explain, but soon was cut by Dib.
"It is some of the PAK things?" He assumed almost angry. Zim looked at him perplexed and offended.
"What? No-" But he was interrupted again.
"I mean, you already told me that they banished affection" Dib grunted "Of course, if they already don't things that you're not robot like enough, they ALSO banished sex".
After finishing the sentence the teen was surprised by the alien slamming the computer shut, looking really pissed off. The human gulped drily, thinking that he may have crossed the line, considering the fact that the fact that one of the rules on their relationship was excluding talking about anything that reminded Zim that he was a "detective" irken.
"Will you let Zim talk now?" The irken asked launching a deadly glare at his partner. "Irkens are NOT sexually repressed. Your stupid dumb human" he said getting out of the bed clearly frustrated. "And Zim isn't robot like !" He added in a tremble voice, clearly offended by the human's commentary.
Dib felt the guilt rising on his chest and nauseous feeling rising on his throat. "C'mon… That's not what I meant" He muttered, mentally cursing himself for saying those words. He didn't meant to hurt his partner like that "Hey, where are you going?" He asked, noticing that Zim was grabbing his disguise over the table on the teen's room.
"Back to my base" He muttered angrily, starting to adjust his wig in the top of his head when he felt being grabbed by the wrist and pulled back to sit on the bed again.
"Hey, wait! Don't leave like that. Let's talk " Dib begged worried " Please" .
"Uh… " Zim stared at him with his magenta alien eyes "Fine" He reluctantly sat down again while dropping his wig, watching the paranormal investigator carefully take his laptop out of the bed and placing it on the nearest surface near the bed.
"Okay… So, uh…" He approached the alien again "I know it's forbidden subject between us, but can you explain it better to me?" Dib asked carefully. "It's okay if you don't want to" He felt the need of informing it quickly, worrying about pushing his boyfriend again.
Zim hummed uncomfortable, but it didn't looked like he was going to deny the conversation. "You know… Affection is… Dangerous" He muttered looking away "Caring about someone means you're having a weak spot that could easily be used against you. An irken soldier can't love" Saying things like that out loud made the alien feel a sour taste on his mouth, and a uncomfortable feeling like throwing up "And that's why we aren't programmed to care.
"I know…" Dib said feeling a little bit incommoded by the way the way Zim seemed so sad and distant. Specially knowing that he was the reason his boyfriend was upset like that.
"But sex…" The irken continues to explain "Is basically using your body desires as a way of asserting dominance"
"Yeah, I guess you can put like that" The human thought a little too loud, receiving a reproachful look from his partner for interrupting him again. "Uh, sorry. You can continue" Dib said nervously making a gesture with his hand signalizing the alien to proceed.
"As I was saying" He continued with a menacing look "Sex isn't forbidden. Mating other species is considered gross, but that isn't illegal either"
"Oh…" That's all Dib said before then fell into the silence "So uh… How does it works for you?"
"Well…" The alien blinked before doing the best proud smile he could "I am ZIM! The BEST irken invader! I don't need those sexual desires on my way" He shouted dramatically, totally shoving away the fact that he actually care and loved, which, in the irken culture, was a sign of weakness. "And, of course, it's not like Zim is weird or anything for not desiring to have the copulation. I am SUPERIOR than everyone!"
"Of course you are" Dib muttered, couldn't help but feel guilty by being mad earlier "And forget what I said about 'robot like' stuff. I was being a dick.. And kinda thinking with my dick…" He laughed nervously while looking away "It's completely normal if you're assexual, because-"
"Wait" Zim interrupted "What is that?"
"Uh?"
"The thing you said" The alien said confused.
"Assexual?" Dib asked, receiving a little nod from his partner "That's means someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction" He explained, observing a little glow appearing on the alien's big magenta eyes.
"So there are more people like Zim?" He asked excitedly, with a genuine smile rising on his face, but soon looked away, trying to hide the blush on his face "I mean, of course NO ONE can be superior as I am, but… There are more beings that have… Similar interests?" He asked carefully.
The truth to be told, sex always have been a weird subject. On Irk, he could hear some fellow soldiers talking about their intercourses, but Zim never understood what was so big about it, but he never really bothered too much to think about it. But on earth things got worse.
Humans were, at least, really passionate about sex. And that made really easy to feel displaced whenever the subject was brought, specially when he was talking with those horny teenagers. Even Dib, for Irk sake, had those filthy urges to touch Zim's body in a sexual way. It wasn't like those touches were bad, but it always left the alien with the feeling that he couldn't reciprocate this desire in the same level.
And part of him wished that sex was something human , it would be easier if he could say to himself that he was the only one that didn’t feel in that way on earth because he wasn’t human. But it wasn’t. And that was the problem.
So then, hearing that this thing , the lack of sexual attraction, had a name, and that he wasn't just an weirdo all by himself, but part of a group that actually exist was, at minimum, relieving.
"Of course" Dib responded the question, doing a little soft smile "I was trying to say it before you interrupted, but Gaz is assexual too. And there are plenty of people out there like that too"
"Really?" The invader asked curiously and surprised, receiving a little confirmative nod from the human "I order you to tell EVERYTHING you know about these assexual individuals. Now!" He shouted, sounding way more enthusiastic than he wanted.
"Well…" Dib started, laying with his back on the bed so he could cuddle and hold his boyfriend closer "I am not an expert to talk about it, but as far I know there are different types of assexuality" He tried to explain.
"R-Really?"
"Yeah, I mean… There are people who don't feel sexual attraction, but there is also the ones who doesn't feel the romantic attraction"
"I am not like that" Zim said quickly "Zim does have the romantic feelings about the Din beast" He muttered with a purple blush emerging on his face.
"I know…" The paranormal investigator couldn't hold a smile, snuggling the invader closer and kissing his forehead.
"Continue talking" The irken demanded, feeling really warm and comfy on the human's embrace.
"Okay okay… Hum… There are the demissexuals too. You know, who only feel sexual attraction when they have an emotional bond, but I guess it isn't your case"
"No, it isn't" Zim responded, simply.
"But yeah, it doesn't have any rules, you know. The thing that is common between them is not feeling the sexual attraction. I mean, I know some even do sex…"
"I think I can do that" The invader announced.
"R-Really?" Dib asked embarrassed "I-I mean… I guess I would like doing it, but you don't have to do if you don't want"
"Bum Zim wants to do it" The alien exclaimed "Even if I am not sexually invested in you, doesn't mean I don't like the… Uh… Sexy stuff we do together" He muttered awkwardly, with both antennas falling in the back of his head "But I still need time to… Assimilate those things…"
" Oh …" The human blinked, thinking about what the alien just said "Well, I can wait" He thought about the moment earlier, when they were watching the movie before the whole talk started "And uh, I'll try keeping my hands out of you"
"I would appreciate that…" Zim said, but the paranormal investigator could sense a little hesitation on his voice.
"But….?" He asked, trying to incentivize his boyfriend to continue talking.
"But that wouldn't leave the Dib sad?" Zim looked away, internally cursing for actually exposing one of his insecurities like that, feeling too ashamed to look at his human
"Of course not!" Dib responded quickly, holding the irken's face and forcing him to look into his eyes "Look, yeah, it would be nice to do sex one day, but I am not dating you because I want to do it" He said in the tender tone he could use, gently rubbing the green cheek on his hand "And besides, I probably wouldn't even support having such an destructive and bratty boyfriend if I was just trying to get laid" He joked, getting an eye roll out of his partner. "But seriously. I would spend my whole life virgin it that means being with you"
The irken stared at Dib, with a softer look on his pinkish eyes "Thanks, Dib-Beast" He whispered, planting a soft kiss on his lips.
The teen closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth he felt with the alien' mouth against his, but soon they broke apart when Zim suddenly got up
"Now, let's finish the movie!" He said happily, getting Dib's laptop and returning to the bed, making the paranormal investigator grunt I'm frustration.
"If we aren't going to make out, let's watch a movie that is not trash" He insisted, sitting up.
"This movie IS good! It's not Zim's fault if your STUPID human brain can't UNDERSTAND it!" He exclaimed proudly while turning the computer in again, the mood between then already falling back into the regular one.
"That's bullshit. Let me put some of the Mysterious Mysteries episodes!"
"NO! You already choose that TWENTY SIX TIMES!"
"Well then, let's make it twenty seven then!"
"NEVER!"
Eventually after their regular bickering they settled back and, unfortunately for Dib, returning to watch the movie.
So yeah, they continued to spend their lazy could afternoon together, but this time Dib was fine with the just cuddling.