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The Catnip Incident

Summary:

All Dazai wanted was to interrupt Kunikida’s schedule. It was meant to be a simple prank that would throw the blond of track. He really didn’t think about what sort of effect it would have on the others. The grin that spread across his face in apparent amusement betrayed the slight feelings of guild. It wasn’t like he had meant to drag anyone else into his schemes. But it happened anyway. The Director seemed to be prepared for this rather... obscure situation. Not like anyone aside from Kunikida was in a hurry to reverse it.
Who knew that there was a way for Atsushi to lose control of his ability even with the Directors ability. Well for now Dazai was going to lean back, enjoy the situation and take some photos. It wasn’t like he could stop his subordinate. Oh wait he could, but he was enjoying this way to much....

Notes:

Updated: 30.12.2019
Corrected some typos and spelling mistakes.

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

The day started normal enough in the agency when Kunikida snapped his book shut a proud gleam in his eyes. “A perfect schedule. Not even the bandage squandering machine could ruin this.” Everyone's eyes wandered to Dazai whose eyes gleamed at the challenge. “Eeeeeeeeh? A ‘perfect schedule’?”

“Don’t even bother trying, Dazai” The blond spoke seconds later, glasses shining as he stared at the grinning man. “I planned any form of interruption on your part into this. There is no way you will delay it.”

“Oh really now, Kunikida-kun?” The door was slammed shut by Kunikida as answer and Dazai started humming about how to delay his partners schedule. Said humming man followed his partner out the door after giving the man a head start of two minutes. Atsushi sweat dropped, a strange feeling of foreboding had formed in his gut when he saw the calculating eyes and evil grin of his mentor. This was not going to end well, was it?

As if reading his thoughts Junichiro patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry. This is between the two like always.”

“Right...” The white haired boy nodded, turning back to work on the report of his last job with Kyouka. He shouldn’t worry about his mentors antics and just focus on his work. Hours later Atsushi regretted that decision.

There was a delay of one hour between Dazai returning to the office all giddy and happy, spinning in his chair excited before watching the door in anticipation and the return of Kunikida. The door slammed open in a way that first half the office expected it to be another raid attack before noticing Kunikida's disheveled figure in the doorway. Sweat dropping Atsushi noticed the dent left on the wall, no one else seemed to care about.

In fact everyone's attention was on Kunikida, who still stood still in the doorway. Leafs and cat fur stuck to the blond like glue and Yosano commented that the angry red lines on the blonds faced looked like cat scratches. Everyone eyed the grinning suicidal maniac and wondered for a moment what he did to his poor partner. The silence would have been deafening if it weren’t for the crunching of Ranpo snacking on chips and Dazai's poorly hidden chuckles. Everyone anticipated Kunikida's next move.

Then Dazai couldn’t keep it in anymore and broke out laughing, obviously he had successfully destroyed Kunikida's schedule. How? None of them knew, or really wanted to know. The laugher was also what broke the blond man out of his stupor. Atsushi blinked at how fast he crossed the room and started yelling as well as strangling the giggling mess of his mentor.

Seeing how everything turned back to the usual, caused a sigh to leave Atsushi's lips as he turned back to working on his report. That was until a strangely sweet scent filled his nose. The white haired boy blinked stunned. His mind going blank for a moment. Scratching his head in confusion, he looked around the office, everything seemed normal. Ranpo snacking on sweets. Kenji gazing at his potted plant. Junichiro attempting to calm down Kunikida who was still strangling Dazai. Yosano contemplating if Kunikida needed healing for the scratches with a dangerous gleam in her eyes. Naomi clinging to her brother's arm and successfully attempting to drag him away form the yelling detective. While Kyouka watched the pair with an interested but blank expression. When she noticed his gaze she smiled a little before turning her attention back on the fighting duo.

Everything was as normal as usually in the agency. Carefully Atsushi sniffed the air once more. The scent still lingered in the air. It was distracting. It was also strangely fascinating. It calmed his mind, yet sort of caused a strange form of excitement. It called for his attention. Looking around to make sure that the others weren’t paying attention to him, he sniffed at the air once more.

He suppressed the urge to close his eyes and just enjoy the smell. Instead he tried to locate it. At first the white haired boy had trouble doing so. The scent was doing something strange with his mind. It made it hard to focus, but didn’t cause him to panic. Even his inner tiger was purring in the back of his mind. Shaking his head, the young detective tried to clear his mind. Concentrating once more to find the source.

Finally after a couple more attempts, he caught it. It came from the direction where Kunikida was still yelling at his mentor. Glancing around Atsushi realized that no one else seemed to be bothered by the scent. So he decided to investigate himself. Under the act of wanting to help his mentor, he stood up and went closer to the two. That was a big mistake on his part. Once Atsushi got closer, the scent that only lingered in the air before got so overbearing that it clouded his mind. The tigers purring got louder with approval in his mind. Without warning his awareness started to go blank.

Ranpo watched their tiger boy with keen interest. He had noticed the boy sniffing the air and already realized what Dazai did and how that appeared to have an effect on their coworker. He smiled as he sat on his desk and reached for a Ramune. The boy had become still once he was close to Kunikida. His pupils had become slits, his usually purple and yellow eyes turned to only be yellow and his skin slowly but surely got covered in light fur. The master detective contemplated if he should warn any of the others but choose not to. After all when he made eye contact with Yosano, he knew he wasn’t the only one noticing anymore.

Kyouka too had noticed the change in her friend. Her eyes displaying worry while Yosano's had a strange sort of interest. Kunikida's shouting and Dazai's laughing seemed to fall into the background as the white haired boy became of more and more interest. Ranpo tilted his head. Yep he knew what was going to happen. He jumped of the desk to get the Director for this, just in case.

By now Junichiro had stepped closer to Atsushi, hand reaching out in an unsure way of what to do. He looked back at his sister who urged him to go on. But instead his eyes turned unsure back to the seemingly hypnotized Atsushi. Even Dazai despite still being in Kunikida's clutches had stopped laughing and eyed his subordinate with interest. A smile still on his lips.

Then a blue light engulfed their tiger boy. Junichiro stumbled backwards, his sister clutching onto his arm. Kunikida finally cased his yelling and strangling of the suicidal maniac to look over his shoulder. Unconsciously the blond detective let go of his partner.

Right where the boy stood moments ago entranced by an unknown scent, was now a white tiger with his eyes fixed directly at Kunikida.

“Dazai, what did you do?” It was a natural first instinct to accuse his partner.

The man in question shook his head and whined. “I didn’t do anything Kunikida-kun.”

There was a stunned silence in which no one knew what to do. It was sort of like a standstill. After all there was a white tiger in the middle of their office and they didn’t know if Atsushi was still in control or not. No one could remember if there had ever been a moment where Atsushi had fully transformed and had still been in full control. Junichiro swallowed, remembering the last time he had seen the white tiger.

No one in the room aside from Dazai and probably Kunikida had a clue of why Atsushi would suddenly transform. It wasn’t even nighttime, let alone a full moon. Kunikida turned to fully face the tiger in the room. He frowned, eyebrows furrowed. “Brat. Are you awake?”

Tiger Atsushi was watching him, his tail swishing lightly to and fro.

The blond took a couple steps to the right.

Yellow eyes followed. Front body lowering slightly.

He took a couple steps to the left.

Yellow eyes followed again. The tail stilled.

It was unnerving of how these eyes followed his every move. But it was clear that something needed to be done, seeing as no one else wanted to. He adjusted his glasses.

“Dazai.” The blond detective spoke in a low and warning tone. ”The brat doesn’t seem to be in control. You have to-”

He couldn’t finish whatever he was going to say, because the tiger pounced. Naomi screamed in horror, cutting of her brother's air supply, who voiced a strangled shout. Yosano pulled out a cleaver in order to either fight the tiger or heal Kunikida. Kyouka had her knife out ready to fight but hesitated, after all the tiger was still her first friend Atsushi. Kenji tilted his head contemplating if taming a tiger could be compared to taking care of a rebellious cow. Dazai who had already stepped aside just grinned even wider, not worried at all. No their suicidal maniac chuckled in apparent amusement with being aware of something the others weren’t.

A loud and deep purring caused everyone who was ready to attack to stop in their tracks.

That was the moment the Director as well as Ranpo and Haruno stepped back into the room. Fukuzawa had an unreadable expression while Ranpo grinned sitting back on his desk and opening a bag of sweets to munch on. Haruno on the other side ended up cooing once her initial shock passed.

Right there in the middle of the Armed Detective Agency Office a white tiger was cuddling up to a frozen Kunikida. Or more like flattening the poor guy to the ground. The tiger was purring loudly and rubbing his head against the detective and even licked the side of the blond man's face before attempting to head-over roll and flattening the poor man even more onto the floor. Kunikida was basically trapped under the wight of the tiger.

Dazai once more broke out in maniac laughter before fishing out his phone to take some photos, he couldn’t wait to see Atsushi's reaction to this. Yosano clicked her tongue in disappointment before smiling at the cuteness, ignoring Kunikida's frozen form that slowly turned blue. Kyouka was kneeling next to them carefully reaching out to pet the tigers head unafraid.

Instead of a vicious tiger, he was docile and calm like a house cat and purred even louder, reaching the volume of a grass-mower. Tiger Atsushi appeared to very obviously like the attention. Kenji laughed, joining the girl at petting the giant cat. “There, there big tiger kitty.”

Once Naomi got over her shook she too joined the two cooing at the cuteness while her brother kept watchful eyes on them. He knew what Atsushi was cable of in this form, even if it didn’t seem as out of control like the last time he saw it. Then again he was pretty sure that his white haired friend wasn’t aware of what he was doing either way.

A twitching hand appeared from below the tiger's body mass. “Di- di- director...”

The leader of the Agency stared blankly at what was happening in his office. For a moment Dazai thought that the man was going to tell him to nullify Atsushi's ability and bring the boy back to his senses but then...

The director crouched next to Kyouka and Kenji holding a cat toy and waving it before the tiger's face.

Half the office sweat dropped but didn’t complain. It wasn’t everyday they could have a tiger acting like a house cat, even if the tiger was their coworker and not supposed to act this way. The twitching hand below the tiger stilled before starting up twitching more frantic again.

Tiger Atsushi didn’t seem to be interested in the toy at first. Instead he sniffed at Kunikida’s twitching hand again before rolling onto his back. A muffled sound of protest could be heard but no one reacted towards it. Instead the tiger calmly stretched on his back before laying on his side, lazily pawing at the still twitching hand.

Fukuzawa frowned and put away the toy only to switch it out with a dry fish, that was stored somewhere in his sleeves. The man was now standing to make sure the fish was in the tiger's view. Kunikida’s disgruntled noises and commands of getting Atsushi off him resounded slightly muffled but were mostly ignored. The director dangled the fish in the tiger's view. Everyone watched with interest. How would tiger Atsushi react?

Lazy yellow eyes looked up at the fish.

Dazai, Yosano and Ranpo chuckled as the tiger ignored the fish and instead kept pawing at poor Kunikida’s twitching hand. Apparently the fish and cat toy weren’t of interest for the tiger.

The director's eyes narrowed. The man reached once more into his sleeve, pulling out an even bigger dry fish. Kyouka blinked, staring at the man's kimono sleeves with wonder before looking at her own sleeves contemplating before leaving the room with an idea.

Once again lazy yellow eyes looked at the fish.

The director lowered it a little, letting the big white cat sniff it. Believing he finally had the tiger's attention he took a step backwards. Expecting the tiger to follow him. Instead tiger Atsushi rolled over once more laying his head down on his front paws as his tail flicked to and fro in the air. The yellow eyes gleamed like the eyes of a mischievous cat. The message was clear to everyone that had a slight understanding of cats. ’I will not move, not even for fish.’

“BRAT GET OF ME!” Kunikida’s yell rung though the office. Apparently the last roll had freed the blond man's upper body enough for him to sit up slightly. Upper body supported by his free arm, he glared at the white tiger still rendering his legs immobile. A white paw smacked down on Kunikida’s face, nearly breaking his glasses as well as silencing the man once more. The tiger return his attention to the director. Challenging the man to attempt to make him leave his spot once more.

Dazai was having a field day. He laughed at Kunikida’s face of being dismissed like that by the tiger and took as many photos as the memory of his phone let him. Atsushi would never even dream of disregarding Kunikida like that let alone challenge the president. He could already imaged how embarrassed his cute subordinate will be once they tell him.

Fukuzawa contemplated what to do. Fish and cat toy didn’t work. What else could there be that would make the tiger move off his employee without having to resort to Dazai using his ability. Just as the Director thought about using a mouse plushy that he knew the back alley cats like to play with Ranpo decided to pipe up.

“You know that’s still Atsushi in a way.” The detective grinned before stuffing a whole candybar in his mouth. Understanding dawned onto the workers of the Armed Detective Agency as they looked back at the relaxed tiger.

Junichiro laughed. “Are you suggesting we place a bowl of ochazuke before him?”

The tiger's ears flicked in his direction and yellow eyes focused on the red head who jumped at the sudden attention. Disbelieving he stared at the tiger. “No way, really?”

“Atsushi-kun.” Kyouka’s voice resounded from the open door of the office. Everyone including the tiger looked at her and noticed the steaming bowl of tea on rice in her hand. Stretching the tiger stood up, he headbutted Kunikida lightly as if to say thanks. The big white cat gave the director a look before trotting over to the young girl, purring happily as he ate the ochazuke while letting the girl pet his head.

Junichiro gapped as the others laughed except for Kunikida and Fukuzawa.

Later that same day Kunikida had received countless apologizes from the white haired boy, but they didn’t stop the lecture the blond man had prepared. Though the lecture was interuppted by Dazai so he could continue retelling what happened. Only for Atsushi to end up cowering in embarrassment under his desk, wishing for the world to swallow him whole. After all Dazai had retold the events from hours ago with the support of a slide show containing each and every photo that was taken.

Days later Ranpo out of nowhere commented that he would like to pet a white tiger. Atsushi spluttered in embarrassment before hiding his face in his hands. The detective however made sure to catch Dazai’s mischievous eyes as he smiled innocently. After all he knew about the tightly sealed stash of catnip in the upper right drawer of Dazai’s desk, it would be bad to let it go to waste.

Notes:

Not sure if anyone else thought about this before but that idea was stuck in my head and I needed to get it out... and that resulted in this one-shot. I hope you enjoyed reading. Sorry if the ending is sorta weird, i honestly didn't know how to end what I wrote. Also sorry for any mistakes, englisch is not my native language.
I might write a one-shot for how Kunikida's schedule got interrupted too... let me know if anyone would be interested.

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