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"I'll be home for Christmas,
You can count on me.
Please have snow,
And mistletoe,
And presents on a tree…"
Captain Kestrel was singing again. Parvati didn't know what Christmas was, or snow and mistletoe, or why presents would be on a tree. All she knew was that the Captain had asked ADA to calculate the current date on Earth, just out of curiosity, and had been told it was sometime in the last month of the Earth year. The Captain had got kind of melancholy after that, and taken to working at the workbench in the cargo bay anytime she had a free moment. Whenever she did, she softly sang that song.
There was nothing for it. Captain was feelin' blue, and that just didn't feel right. So, Parvati went to the only person on the ship she thought might know anything about old Earth custom. There was no reason to think he would know anything, she was fully aware, but for some reason it just made sense that if anyone would know anything, it would be the man with a room full of books.
"Excuse me, Vicar, sir?"
"Ms. Holcomb," Vicar Max looked up from the book he'd been reading. "What can I do for you?"
She nervously slipped inside. Law, the man still made her nervous. Not all the time anymore, not when the Captain or the rest of the crew were around, and when they weren't on the ship sometimes he seemed like he really wanted to be helpful but… well, she never had shaken the feeling from Edgewater, like whenever she asked something he was disappointed.
But that wasn't important right now - Captain was. "Have you heard the Captain singing?"
His eyebrows went up a little, "Now and then."
"Have you listened? To the words, I mean."
His eyebrows went back down into Concern, "No. Our Captain has a lovely voice, but I've never lingered to listen."
Parvati was surprised, "You really think it's lovely?"
"Do you not?"
"What? Of course I do! I just… you always seem so… I mean, she's not exactly singing anything Board approved."
He rolled his eyes, "Explain to me, Ms. Holcomb, why a former convict who has dedicated his life to seeking out heretical texts would give a damn about what songs our Captain sings to herself?"
There it was, that look she hated. She could feel herself turning inward, going shy again just trying to get away… and out of nowhere she thought of what the Captain had told her one evening;
"Max puts on a grand show of being proper and superior, but at the end of the day he's still just a preacher with a short fuse and a rough past looking for some peace."
"Hard to know what you give a damn about, Vicar, sir," she rallied, though she wished she hadn't faltered at the end. "If you stopped to listen, really listen, you'd hear the Captain's… hurting, I think. Something about the season on Earth, this Christmas thing. Singing about being home, when she knows she won't ever again, and…" nope, that was it. He wasn't judging really, but he was watching close, not smiling but not angry either, and she didn't know how to read him and sort of shut down from it.
He closed his book. "Ms. Holcomb," he said with all pleasantness, "please have a seat." She sat in the only other chair. "You're worried about the Captain. It isn't at all surprising to me that the Captain would be occasionally homesick, but you seem to think this is worse than that."
"I dunno if it's worse, exactly, but it's been lasting a while now. She seems fine when she leaves the ship, has something to focus on, but between jobs or when we're travelling…" she shook her head, frustrated, "I know I'm not explaining this well, Vicar, but Captain's done so much for us, just seems like if there's a way we can lift her spirits it would be a kind thing to do."
He leaned back in his chair. "What do you suggest?"
"Me?"
"Surely you didn't come in here looking for suggestions on how to make people feel better from me?"
"But… well, no, I didn't, but isn't that part of your job?"
He smirked, "I doubt the Captain will take comfort in my spiritual advice. Besides, you yourself said it wasn't very good."
Her face felt hotter than ol' Bess just before she broke down for the fifth time in a day. She'd been frustrated with him the time she said it, that's all. "I didn't… um."
"Why did you come in here, Ms. Holcomb?"
"Wondered if you knew anything about old Earth traditions," the words came rushed, "on account of all the reading you do and Felix sure ain't gonna know unless it was on a serial and didn't seem likely for Ellie or Nyoka either, so…"
That amused him. "I see the logic, but unfortunately my limited knowledge of Earth is historical, not cultural. Have you considered asking her?"
Parvati blinked. "Ask the Captain?"
"She may appreciate hearing you're worried about her."
"Oh. I… hadn't thought of that. Didn't want to seem nosy."
"Ms. Holcomb, there's no chance of anyone ever thinking of you as anything but shy and kind, to a fault."
"Hopefully not just that."
He rolled his eyes, "It's almost as if this crew delights in taking everything I say as an insult."
"Maybe you should say it less insulting-like," Parvati mumbled.
Oh Law, she'd made him angry that time, she was sure of it… but then he… laughed? Not loud or anything, but that sure sounded like a short, private laugh. "I take it back, Ms. Holcomb. Kind-to-a-fault may be an enduring quality, but it seems shy might not always be the case."
"Was," she asked quietly, "was that supposed to be a compliment?"
"Yes."
"Oh. Well. Thanks, I think? I'm gonna talk to the Captain," she stood up, hesitated, "Thanks, Vicar, sir." And she hurried out of the room.
Just ask the Captain, the thought to herself. She could do that. Sure.
Captain Kestrel was at the workbench again, working a small piece of metal. She glanced up, "Hey, Parvati."
"Hi, Captain. Um. How're you feeling?"
"Fine. Why?"
"You just seem a little down the past few days is all."
The Captain was confused, "Down?"
"The songs and always bein' in here by yourself… I thought you might be homesick."
The Captain was surprised. She put down her tools to talk to Parvati with a smile, "I'm ok. You're right, I was feeling pretty damn homesick, but I'm doing better. Thanks for asking."
"Oh. Guess I was worried over nothing," Parvati deflated.
The Captain's smile grew, "I appreciate you being worried. All my favorite Christmas songs sound kind of sad, so I'm sure I seemed pretty mopey."
That made Parvati feel a little better. "What's Christmas?"
"Old Earth tradition. Presents, food, singing, peace on Earth, goodwill to all."
"That sounds nice, Captain."
"It is. It can be beautiful… and sometimes the whole season is a headache of panic and pretending to be nice to family you can't stand." She shrugged, "But I always enjoyed the holiday, what it traditionally stood for. The peace-and-goodwill part." The Captain thought for a moment, and grinned. "You wanna help?"
Parvati blinked. "Help?"
"Let me show you what I've been working on…"
***
"Hey, Max?"
Max glanced up at his doorway. "Yes, Captain?"
"Wanna help me do something nice for the crew?" she smiled hopefully.
He was skeptical. "Such as?"
She came further inside so she could keep her voice quiet, "All you have to do is distract Felix."
"What?"
"I'm going to distract Ellie and Nyoka, just argue about tossball teams or something with Felix in the kitchen for five minutes."
"Why me instead of Ms. Holcomb?"
"She's doing something else for me. Please, Max?"
He sighed, heavily. "Oh, very well."
She smiled, wide and honestly pleased. "Thank you!" She hurried off to find Ellie and Nyoka. Max picked up his book, marvelling at how he let himself get talked into this, ignored how pleasant it felt to see the Captain smile like that, and went to find Mr. Millstone.
The resident rebel-without-a-cause was reading an issue of The Dissident Hunter at the kitchen table, a bottle of Rizzo's in his hand. For someone who espoused such venom for corporations, the young man had a remarkable sense of brand loyalty. Then again, perhaps it was just a severe addiction to sugar.
"Mr. Millstone," Max greeted as he made some tea as an excuse to be in the kitchen.
"Hey, Vic," Felix said distractedly as he read.
SAM clanked down the hall and started cleaning, effectively blocking their rooms. Max considered telling the machine to move, but he could do that whenever the Captain had finished whatever she had planned.
A gunshot echoed from below, making both men jump.
"ADA?" Max asked.
"Yes, Vicar Max?"
"Are the doctor and Ms. Ramniram-Wentworth shooting in the cargo bay again?"
"No."
Max and Felix looked at each other, alarmed. "Then who's shooting?" Felix asked.
"That one was the Captain." A second shot sounded. "That was Ellie. Nyoka is giving the Captain advice on her stance."
If she were sentient, Max would have described ADA as annoyed. Reassured, strangely, Max brought his tea to the table and sat down across from Felix. Hopefully all he had to do was sit here and keep an eye on the kid.
Not long after he opened his book, Felix closed his and stood. So much for that idea.
"Who do the Rangers play next?" Max asked.
Felix folded his arms, instantly ready to defend his team from insult. It was amazing how easy it was to bait the young man… though to be fair, Max knew he had given Felix every reason to assume the worst. "Hammersmith," Felix said.
Max couldn't restrain his wince.
"We'll hold our own," Felix protested, though even he didn't sound like he believed it.
"Son, Hammersmith has the best first and second backs in the entire colony. The Rangers don't have a chance."
Felix wanted to argue… but he sighed and sat back down. "Yeah. I'm worried, I'll admit it. We can't afford for our best players to be mauled by Hammersmith."
"If the Rangers' coach has any intelligence, he'll play the worst players and save the best for later in the season."
Felix stared at him, offended. "That's just giving up!"
"You said so yourself, the Rangers can't afford to lose players to injury right now. When they play Hammersmith, there will be injury."
"Yeah, but you still gotta try your best! Otherwise what's the point?"
Max smirked. There was occasionally a certain charm to Felix's naivete. "While admirable as a personal philosophy, that doesn't take into consideration the long term goal of surviving the season."
Felix scowled as he tried to think of a rebuttal. "Know what your problem is, Vic?"
"Other than being called 'Vic?'" Max huffed with rolled eyes. Why would he expect a reasonable discussion from this boy?
"You've got no imagination."
Max's response was cut off by the women on board coming up the ladder from the cargo bay to the kitchen.
"Hey fellas," the Captain said with a smile. "Good job, SAM, you can stop cleaning the hall now."
"Command registered! Thank you, Captain!" the automechanical declared and made his way through the kitchen.
Max's eyes narrowed, "You ordered it to clean to discourage us from leaving in that direction."
"Why would you think that?" she asked with wide eyed innocence, and passed them with a spring in her step as she hummed one of those tunes she'd been singing lately.
He turned to Parvati. She squeaked, grinning, and hurried back down the ladder, "I'll just be in the engine room while you all look in your rooms."
"And why exactly," Ellie looked down the ladder at the rapidly retreating engineer, "are we looking in our rooms?"
"It's Christmas! It's an Earth tradition, Captain said so herself!"
"What the fuck is Christmas?" Ellie asked the room. Nyoka and Felix shrugged.
Max stood and picked up his book, "We won't find out by standing in the kitchen."
***
Captain Kestrel liked keeping her hands busy. The former bartender had a habit of starting hobbies and never quite sticking with them long enough to get really good, but she was decent at a variety of crafts. With Parvati's help, she'd put together an array of trinkets of scraps and gears, just little tokens she hoped would bring a smile to people's faces.
Nyoka asked about the tiny metal insect on her table and Kestrel explained the praying mantis was an ancestor of mantisaurs. Ellie got a kick out of owning her own ship, if in miniature, and Parvati had cooed over her flower crafted of copper wire. Felix was stunned by the sight of a small tossball trophy cobbled together from odds and ends on his shelf, and immediately rushed to the Captain's room to try to act cool about it being the first gift anyone ever gave him and was super grateful when she hugged him with a laugh to save him the trouble of thinking.
Max found a thin, palm-sized book on his desk. The cover was soft leather and the pages were salvaged scraps of stationary, all sewn together. On the cover was painted the words Important Things to Know in French. The pages were blank.
He rolled his eyes with a smile.