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Needle.
“Gou, are you sleeping?”
“I was” He replied “What’s going on?”
“I have a thing” Ash commented, stroking the fur of a snoring Pikachu
“You’ll have to be a little more specific”
“I don’t know how”
Since a few months ago, Gou realized something about Ash: His boyfriend wasn’t used to emotions. It’s not like he didn’t feel anything, but he clearly didn’t know how to express those feelings.
And when he tried to explain, he always used the strangest analogies.
Same thing happened when he wanted something. He didn’t know how to express himself because usually not even he knew what he wanted. Gou found out this to be very frustrating, but still…
He loved Ash, so he took the task of deciphering what was going on his boyfriend’s mind. Sometimes he was able to do it, other times Ash would get mad, but never at Gou.
He would get mad at himself, for not being able to say what he wanted or needed with clarity. They would never argue about this sort of thing, but Gou wanted to understand the raven haired boy a little bit better.
This time, on a cold night near midnight, he tried again
“What do you feel?” Gou questioned
“Like a needle”
“Anywhere specific?”
“All over my body”
“Maybe you’re cold” Gou said, getting out of his bed and checking the window “Hmm. It’s closed”
“It’s not cold” Ash explained “It’s more like a needle”
“You already said that”
“Like a thousand needles. And all of them are just doing bzzzzt all over my body”
Gou hated when Ash used onomatopoeias. Onomatopoeias made things even more complicated. He approached Ash and took his hand between the covers.
“Try again. Please.” He whispered
“They are still there. The needles, doing bzzzt. Although…”
“Yes?” Gou said, forcing him to continue
“I don’t feel them in my hand anymore.”
“Which hand?”
“The one you are holding right now.”
“Oh” Gou exclaimed, blushing “I think I know what you want”
Gou took Pikachu away from Ash and placed atop of his own bed. The yellow Pokemon didn’t even notice the movement.
“Hey! I need him by my side to sleep!” Ash protested
“Not tonight” Gou rebutted “Turn around”
Ash obliged and felt how Gou got in the bed with him. His boyfriend hugged him from behind, and Ash smiled.
“Feels good” Ash commented
“A cuddle, you silly” Gou explained, giving him a quick kiss “You needed a cuddle”
Ash registered the new word in his brain, figuring he would have to ask for cuddles next time he felt needles again, and thanked Gou silently before drifting off to sleep…
Nail.
“Come again?” Gou asked
“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it,” Koharu explained “does it make a sound?”
“What’s that suppose to mean?” Ash questioned
“It doesn’t mean anything” Koharu explained “It’s just a question they asked today in class”
“Sounds like an unsolvable enigma” Gou commented
“Oh, it has a solution” Koharu explained “I came up with one”
She then proceeded to talk about air waves, sound perception, hearing range and a bunch of other stuff that made both boys’ heads hurt
“Your classes are nothing like the ones I had in Alola, at all” Ash complained
“I consider myself an advanced student for my age” The girl said with a smile “Admit it, out of the three of us, I’m the smartest”
Gou tried to reply, but it was a bad idea. Since they were little, he considered Koharu to be really inventive, creative and all around, more intelligent.
“Hey Ash?” The girl commented, looking at his friend “It was just a joke, you know?”
The boy was lost in thought, and Koharu commented:
“Something’s wrong with your boyfriend, Gou”
He got up and took a long look at him, then took his hand. He didn’t react.
“What is it this time?”
Ash blinked, getting back to reality
“What?”
“You got that look on your face, the one that says ‘something’s happening to me. Help.’ ”
“Feels like a nail” Ash admitted
“Where?”
“Right in the middle of my nose”
“You smell something particular?”
Ash denied with his head
“Does the nail move? Does it make a sound?”
Two more denies. Gou frowned. This was a though one but he wasn’t going to surrender easily. Then, an idea came to his mind.
“Boop!” Gou exclaimed, booping his boyfriend’s nose
Ash laughed
“Why did you do that?”
“For no particular reason” Gou replied, checking his phone to pretend he was distracted
After a full minute, he asked:
“Do you still feel the nail?”
“Yes”
“Boop!” Gou exclaimed, booping Ash’s nose once again “What about now?”
“Now It’s gone! You’re amazing, Gou!”
“I know, right?”
Gou connected the dots, raised a finger and said:
“You’re feeling… Pessimistic!”
“I don’t think is that…” Ash replied
“Oh it’s totally that” Gou explained “Koharu said how she was the smartest of the three, you saw me thinking about it, realized that she maybe was right and now you’re feeling pessimistic because you think you’re not smart enough!”
Ash remained silent, and Gou pushed him:
“Am I right or not?”
“I do sometimes think I could be smarter”
“Were you thinking about that before I booped you?”
“Maybe…” Ash admitted
“I don’t need you to be smarter, Ash” Gou said, stroking his boyfriend’s hair and guiding him to his chest “You are a kind, lovable goofing ball of walking danger and stupidity, and I love you for that”
“Hey” Ash commented, adjusting his head to Gou’s chest “This feels good too!”
“I bet it does” Gou replied
Koharu let out a snort and shouted:
“HOW? How in all heavens did you figure it out all of that from just ‘a needle on his nose’? ”
“I guess his smarter for some things” Ash explained, his voice muffled by Gou’s shirt
She couldn’t argue with that.
Spoon.
The couple was having some quality time in a little café at the Kalos Region. Gou’s theory about Vivillon’s flight patterns turned out to be correct, they were attracted to the honey left by Combees on a singular species of tree. It wasn’t a great discovery per se, but he considered this day a success.
The researcher was scribbling furiously about his new discovery on his notepad, barely paying attention to the sundae in front of him.
Ash, on the other hand, had finished his dessert in just seconds. He murmured something that Gou didn’t understand
“What was that?”
“Oh nothing” Ash said
“But…”
“But I’m feeling something. Like a spoon.”
“A spoon?” Gou questioned, raising an eyebrow “That’s a new one”
Ash simply nodded, but his eyes confirmed his intentions. And Gou noticed.
“So a spoon” Gou said, getting up “Where?”
“Mmm… In my… fingers! Yeah that’s it!”
Gou examined his boyfriend a little bit closer, their faces separated by merely a few inches. He touched Ash’s fingers one by one and asked:
“Is still there?”
Ash nodded again
“And you aren’t sure what it is?”
“Not sure at all” Ash replied, a little too enthusiastically
“Oh, I think I know what you want!” Gou said, looking at his dessert
“Really?” Ash wondered with a smile
“Yes. But I’ll need some help. Scorbunny!”
The little Pokemon appeared by his side in one swoop motion. Gou looked at him and said:
“You’ve got yourself a pass”
“Bun?” He asked
“Yes, really, but only one. Use it wisely.” Gou confirmed
“A pass for what?” Ash exclaimed, intrigued
“Oh, you’ll see in a moment”
Scorbunny charged against Ash, knocking him off his chair, when he was about to protest, the little rabbit fixed his eyes on the objective and kicked it. Hard.
Ash fell with his face against the floor; he got up only to see Gou eating his sundae
“Lie to me again” He threatened, stopping for a second to ruffle his partner’s ears “And this cute little guy here will get two passes to kick your butt”
“Sorry…” His boyfriend whispered, wincing in pain “Can I get your sundae?”
“Maybe next time” Gou replied, finishing it
Knife.
“Scor… bunny!” The little Pokemon shouted, getting up
And then he fainted. Gou rushed to his side and hugged his friend, knowing he did as best as he could, his opponent let out a laugh and taunted him:
“Easy. Just as I thought” He commented
“Good battle” Gou said out of courtesy
“Pathetic battle” His new rival responded bitterly “Maybe if you focused more on training your Pokemon than to play with them like a dork you’d become a competent trainer”
He left the boy behind adding:
“Barely competent, if you’re lucky”
Gou just rushed to the Pokemon Center, unable to hold back the tears and without noticing Ash, who witnessed the whole thing.
While waiting for his Pokemon to be cured, Ash entered the building and ran to his side.
“You okay?”
“Nine battles Ash” Gou responded “I’ve lost the last nine battles I’ve had. How can that be okay?”
“But it is okay. You haven’t won any battles yet, so what? Battling is not your thing, we both know that”
“Maybe he’s right” Gou whispered. Ash knew he was referring to his rival. He got up and Gou saw a spark in his eyes for a moment
“He can’t be right” The trainer from Pallet Town said with conviction “I’ve faced guys like him before, all they care about is winning, no matter how. They see Pokemon as tools or objects, not as living beings that deserve our love and companionship”
Gou smiled. That’s the kind of attitude that made him fall in love with him.
“And yes” Ash completed “They also deserve to play with us as much as they want. There’s nothing wrong with being a dork once in a while”
“Ash…”
“Fine. Maybe all the time. Nothing wrong with being a dork all the time”
Gou laughed. But Ash didn’t, and that was worrying.
“What’s wrong?”
“I feel… A knife”
Gou gulped, and got up immediately, taking his boyfriend’s hand
“What do you mean by a knife?”
“A knife” Ash repeated “Burning my hand”
“Maybe you’re angry at that boy Ash, but…”
“Don’t worry” Ash said, turning around to face Gou “I don’t need your help for this one. I know this feeling.”
“What is it, then?”
“I’m not just angry, or mad at him” Ash explained “I feel rage. Enough rage to blow that stupid idiot to kingdom come”
“You’re feeling vengeful, then?”
“You could say that”
A bell ringed indicating that Gou’s Pokemon were healed. He hesitated between run to grab their Poke balls or hug his boyfriend. He chose the second.
“I never saw this face of you before” Gou whispered
“I know” Ash replied “And I hate to feel like this”
Gou remained silent. Ash looked down and assumed the worst:
“You’re afraid of me, aren’t you?”
“I’d never” Gou admitted, and Ash knew he was being sincere “I’m just surprised that’s all”
“Nobody talks like that to my friends. Especially to my boyfriend” Ash declared
“You’re so overdramatic” Gou said, kissing him “Thank you”
Ash smiled, and Gou knew everything was back on track again…
Sword.
A piercing scream woke Gou up in the middle of the night. He didn’t even descended the stairs, he just jumped from his bed and launched directly at Ash
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just a nightmare”
“You screamed”
“Sorry”
“You’re not going to tell me what was about?”
“I…” Ash hesitated
Gou frowned. It wasn’t the first time this happened. And Ash always refused to talk about the nightmare. He ruffled his boyfriend’s hair and whispered
“Have a good night, Ash”
“Thank you Gou. Sorry again”
“Don’t mention it”
Ash screamed. Gou jumped out of his bed, looked at his face, and swore he was crying. But his boyfriend wouldn’t say a thing.
“I’m not leaving this place until you tell me what your nightmare was about”
“In the morning, Gou” Ash said, turning around
“Fine. In the morning.”
Ash didn’t scream again. Morning came and he opened his eyes, he turned around and gulped.
Gou was there, arms crossed
“Good morning” He said “Talk. Now.”
“Gou…”
“Tell me Ash”
“Did you stand there for the entire night?” Ash questioned, trying to change the topic
Gou’s façade fell.
“Of course I did you idiot!” He responded, and Ash noticed the bags under his eyes “I’m worried about you! I’m trying to help you, but all you do is ignoring me!”
“It was just a stupid nightmare!”
“It’s not stupid if you keep waking up every night screaming!”
Gou was shouting now. He never acted like this, and Ash knew he didn’t have an alternative, so he simply said:
“Feels like a sword”
“What?”
“When I wake up, it feels like a sword, piercing my heart”
“What do you dream about to get such a feeling?”
“You”
“What?”
“You complete your research”
“What do you mean by that? There’s no such thing as completing a research. Right now, we’ve got the whole world to research! How can that be a nightmare?”
“You do other stuff too” Ash continued “You capture Mew, you get famous and you travel all around the world…”
“And that feels like a sword because…?” Gou inquired
“Because I’m not with you…”
“Ash…”
“And I know it sounds silly, and stupid, and so selfish… But I don’t want to be without you… ”
“I’m not leaving you Ash, I promise”
“I made that promise before. To all my friends. And I never delivered” Ash confessed with sadness
“Did you love them as much as you love me?”
Ash snorted
“Answer me!”
“Of course not! Not nearly as much!”
Gou looked at his boyfriend and pinched his nose
“Then why are you so worried?”
Ash didn’t respond. Gou knew he couldn’t leave him like this.
“Ash, by any chance do you feel…” Gou doubted for a second, but completed his thought anyways “needles right now?”
“Uh huh” He answered
“Cuddles?”
Ash nodded excitedly. Gou jumped into his bed as quickly as he could. Who cares if it was breakfast time. Right now, both of them needed this.