Chapter Text
Sometimes, relationships were complicated. They took a lot of work, effort, and compromise. But there wasn’t a problem that couldn’t be solved, with enough communication and belief. Dirk Strider knew this better than most. He’d been in such a relationship for years.
Him and Jake didn’t always see eye to eye. They fought more than Dirk was willing to admit. But once they had time to cool off, they always came back and worked things out. Despite what their friends said about it not being healthy, it was how their relationship functioned. They couldn’t change it, and Dirk didn’t want to give up what he had with Jake just because things were sometimes frustrating. It didn’t matter if Dirk became exhausted by his boyfriend, or that he irritated Jake with his bad habits, or that they were going out less and less. They loved each other, and that’s all that mattered in a relationship. They could work anything out.
So, no, their relationship wasn’t straining. They weren’t struggling, just settling down. There was bound to be a million small things they didn’t like about each other, or that got on their nerves, after being together for so long. The same happened in families, in friendships, and it happened here.
They hadn’t moved in together because they needed their own spaces, and that was fine. They didn’t need to live in the same place to enjoy each others company. It was fine that they had tried, once, and it fell through. They just weren’t that kind of couple. That was fine. They were fine. Everything was going fine.
At least, that’s how Dirk thought it was going, until he got a call from Jake one Monday evening. He was messing around with a project in his workshop when his phone, set on the table next to him so he could more easily notice if it went off, started ringing. A picture of Dirk kissing Jake’s cheek, Jake giving the camera a vibrant grin, lit up the screen. Peeling off his gloves, Dirk gave his phone a tired look, took a deep breath, and picked up. Bringing the phone to his ear, he smoothed out his tone.
“Sup?”
There was silence on the other end for a long moment. Then Jake cleared his throat, sighed deeply, and said, “Dirk, I’m breaking up with you.”
Dirk leaned back in his seat, frowning lightly. They’d done this song and dance before, Jake didn’t mean it. They’d be back together, if not within the same night, then within the next week. “What’d I do this time?”
“It’s not anything specific, this time. More like the whole.”
“Did I leave something at your place again? I can come by and pick it up. Or I could come by anyways, just to talk this over.”
“No, don’t do that. I mean what I’m saying this time.”
Kicking some wires out of the way of his feet, Dirk stretched out and thought hard about what he could have done to elicit this reaction this time. His brain drew a blank. “Jake, we can’t work this out if I don’t know what I did. Communication, remember?”
“Oh, blast, Strider. You’re not hearing me!”
Dirk cocked a brow at the wall. “What are you talking about? I’m listening.”
“But you’re not hearing what I’m saying! Dirk, I’m sorry to say, that this relationship is over, once and for all. There are no take backs anymore! I’m putting my foot down! It’s done! And not because of any one stupid thing either of us have done!”
Staring at his tools, Dirk slowly sat back up. “What do you mean, ‘once and for all’?”
There was a long pause. Jake sighed again. “Look. I’ve been talking with Janey, and she’s made some good points about our relationship as of late. We haven’t done anything besides meet up for a right snog! No dates, no romancing- heavens, Strider, we haven’t done the horizontal mambo in a hell of a long time!”
Dirk’s eyebrows drew together. “Are you breaking up with me because I haven’t fucked you in a while?”
“No. I mean, well, yes, somewhat, but more about what that means for us! I mean- I- There’s just… no magic, anymore. No spark. Kissing you is lovely, but if we’re not kissing we’re fighting and is that honestly what we should think that’s all there is to a relationship?”
For a long moment, Dirk had no reply. Slowly, he rose from his seat, stepping into the room proper, careful not to trip over any scrap metal or wires. His mind was racing and drawing a blank simultaneously. His hand clenched and flexed at his side.
“We work it out. We always work it out. We can work this out, too. I’m coming over.”
“That’s just it. There are just some things we can’t work out.” There was some noise in the background on Jake’s side. Probably a movie he had playing. “At first, I found it charming that you were willing to talk things out and work for a solution, because you cared about keeping me in your life so much. But I’m tired, Dirk. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of half-assed solutions. I’m tired of- of us! I’m tired of being with you!”
Dirk’s throat was closing. He pushed out of his workshop, rushing down the hall to the front door. He switched ears the phone was pressed to, shoving his feet into their knockoff runners. He pulled a hoodie on, holding the phone in place with a shoulder. His voice came out thick and rough when he spoke, quieter than he meant to.
“You don’t mean that. You’re just upset. Wait until I’m there, we can talk about it. I’m sure there’s an answer to whatever problem you’re having.”
“Don’t talk like that. I’m not just upset, I’m done. And I will not be seeing you, because I know I will try taking back everything I’ve just laid bare if I see you.”
That’s what Dirk was counting on. If they were face to face, Jake wouldn’t be able to keep it up, they’d finally get to the heart of their problems. Dirk would work it out, and they’d be fine together. Everything would be fine.
After a long pause, where Dirk was probably supposed to say something but couldn’t find the words between denying this was happening and making sure he had his keys, Jake continued. “I’m sorry, Dirk. But it’s over. I just wanted to say goodbye, and hopefully make you realize why I’m doing this.”
Shit. It sounded like Jake was getting ready to hang up. Dirk stopped looking for his keys and burst out of his apartment door, using his foot to kick it shut and racing down the steps. He had to act quick. There wasn’t any time to waste on locking up. “Jake, don’t you dare hang up. I’m on my way, just sit tight.”
“I want you to know, even if we’re separating, I enjoyed the time we spent together and I will always treasure it. Goodbye, Dirk.”
“Jake-!”
Jake hung up. Pulling his phone away from his ear, Dirk stared at the black screen for a moment in disbelief. Jake had actually hung up on him. He’d never done that before. Gritting his teeth, Dirk shoved his phone in his pocket and broke into a sprint out of his apartment building, out onto the road.
The stars were starting to peek out, the sky fading from orange to deep blue. Street lamps flicked on, giving Dirk a clearer view of his path. Jake’s place was a twenty minute walk from Dirk’s, but if he hurried, he could get there in ten. After orientating himself, Dirk took off down the sidewalk.
As he ran, his mind worked. He had to figure out why this was happening. If he could find the source, he could fix the relationship. It was like coding- if he could find the faulty strand, the virus, and change it, the system could run smoothly again. He just had to figure out what the virus was.
Going over the conversation in his mind, Dirk slowed to a stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the light. Jake had dumped a lot on him in the five minutes they were on the phone. But one thing stuck out at him, one thing that could explain this. Dirk pulled his phone back out, using the light as a chance to dial what he suspected was the virus.
She picked up on the fourth ring, already talking. “Dirk I already know what this is about, and I should tell you Roxy and I tried to tell you-”
“You told Jake to break up with me, Jane. What the fuck.”
“Well it wasn’t as if you were going to do it!”
The light changed. Dirk resumed his sprint, keeping the phone pressed to his face. He scowled at the almost empty street in front of him. “You don’t have the right to stick your fingers in my relationship. What possessed you to think telling Jake to break up with me was okay?”
“You’re not happy together anymore, Dirk. Jake came to me, complaining and asking me what I thought he should do, and I told him what I thought, full honesty. Your relationship was sour!”
“Working through some issues is not ‘going sour’. We were nipping our shit in the bud.”
“You can’t nip anything in the bud if the plant is dead! Honestly, Dirk, you’re being incredibly dense.” Dirk could imagine Jane in her kitchen, phone pressed between her shoulder and her head, one hand on her hip and the other with a whisk. He never wished he could smack her more. “Even if you couldn’t see that you yourself weren’t happy, couldn’t you see that in Jake? He’s been right miserable as your boyfriend as of late. There was no use in telling him to keep forcing the relationship, or letting you take control of it!”
Dirk’s mouth tasted bitter, like he’d licked a Nintendo Switch game cartridge. He struggled to keep his expression cool. “‘Letting me take control of it’? Are you sure you were concerned about our relationship, or did you just want your chance to take a ride on the English express?”
There was a slam on the other end, as though Jane had slapped something down on the table. Her voice was hard when she spoke. “I’d watch your tone if I were you, mister.”
“Oh I’m so sorry, Jane. I’m sorry I won our petty little squabble over Jake years ago, and I’m sorry you apparently haven’t gotten over it at all. I’m sorry you’re enough of a bitch to break Jake and I up so you can try him on for size. Why don’t you spread your legs for someone else and leave my relationships the fuck alone?”
Dirk heard Jane’s scandalized noise, then hung up. He didn’t have time to be pissed at her. He had to get to Jake’s, then reverse whatever it was Jane planted in his brain to convince him they were better separated. It wouldn’t be an easy tangle to unravel, Jake valued Jane’s opinion more than anyone but Dirk’s own. And if Jane could convince Jake this was for the best, he’d really have to amp up the touches and soft tone to undo it. Jake responded best to positive reinforcement.
Pushing his legs, Dirk went into a full tilt. He had to burn off all the anger before he got to Jake’s, so he didn’t snap. He needed to be gentle. He could manage that just long enough to get Jake back.
What had Jane even said? People had expressed their concern about how many times Dirk and Jake had to walk away from a fight before. Roxy, Hal, Dave, Jane- there were more. But they usually brushed them off, because they were made of stronger stuff and could work through anything. Because they’d gone through rougher patches and come out the other side, fine. Because they loved each other. Jake loved him.
...Jake loved him, right?
Dirk paused at another crosswalk, frowning. Of course Jake loved him. He was just confused. People who cried ‘those who love you won’t hurt you’ were naive, because people hurt other people all the time. It didn’t mean they cared about each other any less. And yes, Jake hurt him, but it was only because Jane stuck her nose where it didn’t belong. Dirk would go to Jake’s, remind him of their love, remind him of what they had and what they still had to give, and they’d be fine.
But, on the other hand, what if this was all because Jake realized he didn’t love Dirk anymore? Jake had promised him on multiple occasions that that kind of thing would never happen, when his anxieties got too loud, but he could have been wrong. Jake was often wrong about things. If that was what was happening, there was no amount of grovelling or gentle hand holds that would convince Jake to un-break up with him. Dirk would get to his door, go through the song and dance, and Jake would still turn him away. That was a terrifying thought.
Pressing his lips thin, Dirk continued his sprint when the light changed. Jake didn’t sound like he’d stopped loving Dirk, over the phone. He’d even admitted himself, he would take it all back the moment Dirk showed his face, because it was a mistake and their love was stronger than that. He had to believe in that. He had to believe in him and Jake. There wasn’t much else to believe in.
When Dirk got to Jake’s house- a small single story property right in front of the woods, woods they’d explored and tussled in endlessly- he jumped up the couple steps to the front porch and knocked heavily on the door. Inside, Jake’s American Bulldog, Bullseye, started barking. A voice hushed him, then footsteps approached the door.
Dirk kept his gaze down behind his shades. His gut roiled and tightened. Wiping his palms on his jeans, Dirk worked to collect his composure and catch his breath before Jake opened the door.
When it opened and Dirk caught a glimpse of dark skin, broad shoulders, and messy hair, he started talking.
“Jake, I know we have our differences, and our arguments, but we’ve had them before. We’ll have them again. None of that matters when you think of our relationship, how it’s been, how it works. We have our disagreements, yes, but we always bounce back. We know how to work with each other after a fight to fix whatever the problem is. We’ve put so much time into this, are you really ready to toss that aside? Statistically, we’ve had a good track record. I don’t see why that should end, especially since we still have feelings for-”
“Dude, what?”
That was not Jake’s voice. Startled, Dirk took a step back and looked up into bright blue eyes. At first, Dirk’s brain struggled to understand why Jake had blue eyes, before he picked out the differences between this person and Jake. Rounder jaw, wider hips, longer fingers, wilder hair. It was enough for Dirk to have the sinking realization that this was not Jake English, but his cousin, and Dave’s best friend, John Egbert.
“You are… Not Jake.”
“I am not,” John agreed, eyebrows high and lips thinned.
They stared at each other for a long, awkward moment, before Dirk swallowed his pride at being caught having an emotion. “Where is he?”
“On a plane, probably. Did he not… tell you?”
Dirk’s mouth went dry. On a plane? “Tell me what?”
John’s face twisted. He sucked air between his bucked teeth, sympathetic. Dirk hated the expression. “Well, Jake kind of… asked me to house sit for him while he went off to backpack through Europe? Or something. Either way, he’s not here.”
Time moved sluggishly. Everything seemed vaguely fake. Dirk took deep, measured breaths. “... Do you know when he’ll be back?”
“Nope. He didn’t give me a date or anything, just said he’d call when he landed back in the country.”
Dirk nodded, numb. He turned, taking the steps back down to the sidewalk. John watched him from the doorway, not saying a word, as he headed back the way he came. He was hardly aware of where he was going or what he was doing.
Jake had left. Jake had called him, minutes before boarding a plane, broken up with him, and left the fucking country without telling him. It didn’t sound like John knew exactly where Jake would be, either, so Dirk couldn’t waste his money chasing Jake halfway across the globe. Jake had planned it, designed it specifically so he couldn’t.
That was extremely cowardly. And shortsighted. Did he think Dirk would give up on this just because he left the country for a bit? Jake got incredibly homesick, he’d be back soon and Dirk would catch him then. They would talk, work it out, and get back together.
Hell, maybe the time away would be good for Jake. Maybe he’d realize how much he needs Dirk. Maybe he would fly back with his newfound clarity, show up at his apartment, remorseful, and Dirk would forgive him. And they’d kiss and make up. And they would be fine.
Everything would be fine.