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It’s news year's eve. The day before the start of another year. In a few hours, the socials will be booming with tons of posts about being a new person in the new year. Every post will depict the same meaning through different words.
Not that it's a load of bullshit because there are the exceptions of some messages that entail sincerity in their words of "this new year will be the year that the new me flourishes".
But that just wasn't who Nayeon was. She wasn't much of the type to look forward to the future. Not that she hated the entire concept of being excited for a new year, it was more like she wouldn't consider herself a big fan of the unknown which was what the future held.
Something about not knowing what would come frightened her. It threw her confidence off. Unlike her friends who all liked the idea of talking about all the possibilities of the future, Nayeon preferred sticking to the present.
Like the saying goes: don't count your chickens before they hatched.
Nayeon would proudly declare that she lived up to the title of a free spirit living in the moment. No planning. No forethought. Maybe it was dangerous to throw herself into a course of action before taking the sweet time to make some groundwork of potential consequences but she dealt with them when the time came.
In other words, Nayeon followed the opposite of think before you do. Perhaps it was her mentality of just doing things instead of planning them through that lead to her uninterest in the future.
Which brought her to be ultimately bored out of her mind at Sana's NYE party. She was on her sixth glass of alcohol, some concoction that Chaeyoung and Dahyun created. They called it Everlasting. She wasn't sure what it was made of but their creative drinks were well known to be so delicious that you wouldn't even know it was supposed to get you drunk, but they did if you had just the right amount.
She took another sip, enjoying the hint of strawberry among the other fruitiness of it. It was either her high tolerance or the drink had a low percentage of alcohol because Nayeon was barely reaching the level of buzzed. The digital clock on Sana’s wall blared 10:47 PM in red at her. Not that she had any plans to get drunk (because she doesn’t make plans overall) it didn't sound too bad in the present time.
Nayeon chugged the rest of her Everlasting and made her way to the drink table, hoping there was something stronger.
"Nayeonie! How are you liking the party?” blindsided by Sana popping right next to her, Nayeon nearly spilled her shot of soju. There were other drinks like the basic tequila and vodka, even malibu had its spot but the unopened bottles of soju caught her eye.
The party was lively. Music booming through the walls. There were just enough people that it wasn’t too crowded nor too empty. Some familiar faces, some strangers. The snack table that was well packed when she’d arrived two hours ago was now the representation of desolate.
And it wasn’t that Nayeon didn't like parties because she did. She really enjoyed the ones that were made right off the bat like when one of them would just blurt ‘Fuck it! Let’s throw a party!’. Those on the whim parties were her favorite because the adrenaline of the moment kicked in spectacularly.
It also wasn’t that Sana’s new year’s eve party was a bore because it appeared that the guests were really enjoying themselves; some talking, some dancing, and all drinking. It was more of a personal thing that Nayeon was bored but with Sana’s shining, expectant eyes trying to dig into her soul she couldn’t tell the truth.
Nayeon smiled, all lips not teeth. “It’s really great. I’m having the best time.”
“I’m glad,” Sana smiled back then clapped her hands together. “I almost forgot!”
“Forgot what?”
“A friend of mine from Japan is visiting and she just got here a few minutes ago,” before Nayeon could respond, Sana beat her to it, taking the words right off her tongue. “I know, she’s super late but hey, better late than never. Anyway, I’ll go get her and introduce you two.”
Then Sana rushes off and Nayeon takes another shot. She trotted back to her spot on the couch. She was sure there was already an imprint of her butt for she’d plopped down in the spot since arriving. However, the calling of her name from the kitchen has her changing direction.
“Nayeon unnie! You’ve gotta be my partner!”
“That’s so unfair! This is like her game!”
Nayeon nudged Jihyo, silently asking what’s happening. Jihyo rolled her eyes playfully at Chaeyoung and Dahyun arguing back and forth. “Chaeyoung wants to do teams while Dahyun wants to do solo claiming that she has a better chance alone than being paired up with Momo who would be her only option seeing as Chaeyoung has already claimed you.”
She nodded understandingly. Typical dubchaeng.
Beer pong seemed like a fun way to pass time. She poured herself another shot then downed it, handing her soju bottle and shot glass to Jihyo. “Hold my poodle. I’m gonna unleash my inner beast.”
Chaeyoung shifted her attention to Nayeon. “Are you gonna be my partner?”
“Of course, can’t let my little Chaeyoung down.”
While Chaeyoung jumped in glee, Dahyun shouted in misery. “Worst last day of the year!”
Momo simply offered Dahyun an apologetic smile and a few pats on the back. “I’ll do my best.”
“What are the bets?”
“Bets?”
Nayeon gaped at them all. “You don’t have bets?”
“Not really.”
“Not on my watch. Okay, winners get an all you can eat barbeque paid for and the losers have to take 12 shots in a row.”
Dahyun shouted again. “What?! I hardly think that bet is fair for the loser!”
Momo nodded. “I agree. I already know we are gonna lose because I’m a terrible shot and Dahyun becomes overconfident then starts sucking.”
This was where Nayeon’s belief of not worrying about the future so much comes in hand. “Don’t focus on what could happen, that’s gonna throw you off your game. Worry less about the result and care more about the now. Focus on the right now of the game.”
She hadn’t meant for it to be so motivational but Dahyun and Momo seemed to have taken it that way as they both began hyping each other up that they were just being in the moment. Even Chaeyoung applauded her playfully.
“Such a wise elder,” added Jihyo from the sidelines.
“I’m not that old.”
Suddenly, Sana came bolting into the kitchen with a few people behind her. Nayeon snorted from seeing Jeongyeon in a referee shirt and a whistle on her neck. She didn’t look too happy in it but the excitement in Sana’s eyes made it clear that it was her doing.
“Jeong, what the hell are you--”
Jeongyeon put a hand up. “Sana heard there was a beer pong competition going on and she conveniently had this in her closet and forced me to be ref.” Then Nayeon glanced down at her legs and raised her brows in questioning. Jeongyeon cleared her throat, blushing a bit. “She said the whole outfit needed to be used.”
“Sexy referee?” asked Momo, her question directed toward Sana.
“Yeah, Jeongyeon had been talking about role-playing--” A hand clamped over Sana’s mouth.
“Ignore her,” Jeongyeon moved to stand between the two teams. “Anyway, you all know the rules. One hand only, don’t cheat and have fun. Now decide who’s going first.”
Nayeon didn’t care who went first. She was a pro at beer pong. She could single-handedly win but this was a team effort. As they played paper-rock-scissors to decide, Naeyeon let her eyes wander and nearly recoiled when they connect with a pair that were unfamiliar to her.
If it wasn’t for Jeongyeon smacking her arm, she would’ve stayed stuck in the trance of the pretty, brown orbs that stared right back at her. The face was really pretty too. “Ouch.”
“Pay attention, your team is going first.”
The whistle was blown and Chaeyoung began aiming. Nayeon watched the exchanges between Sana and the pretty girl. Connecting the dots, she figured it was the friend of Japan who arrived what one could kindly call it fashionably late.
She turned back to the game just in time to see the ball land in one of the cups. “Well done, Chaeyoung.”
“I’ve learned from the best.”
“You flatter me.”
Momo drank first. Dahyun would be throwing. The two erupted in screams when they score. They both started on the right foot. Maybe this game wouldn’t be as quick. Nayeon took the drink then got into stance to throw.
“Do a trick shot!” yelled someone from the crowd that formed around them.
“It’s a little too early in the game, don’t you think?”
Usually the quiet one out of their friends, Tzuyu cupped her hands around her mouth then yelled, “Just do it!”
Nayeon didn’t think too much of herself as a show off. Sure there were instances in which she decided to up her confidence and do out of the ordinary actions that would coincidentally happen in front of cute girls but other than that she kept herself in range. Since the crowd started to chant for her to do it and there happened to be a cute girl that caught her eye, Nayeon lived in the moment.
“Alright, alright, settle down. It’s not much but I’m gonna need some assistance. Sana, since you’re the host, would you be a dear and grab a plate please.” After Sana had the plate in hand, Nayeon placed her next to Jeongyeon, making sure she held the plate at the right angle. “I’m gonna bounce the ball off the cabinet and if I hit the right spot it should hit the plate that Sana is holding and then right into a cup.”
“You majored in business, not physics,” retorted Jihyo.
“You’ll be surprised. She’s done crazier trick shots.”
“Like that one time you bounced it off someone’s cup while they were drinking!” blurted Momo with every ounce of awe she had.
“It’s called being naturally talented, Jihyo.”
Nayeon stretched her neck from side to side, made sure the angle her arm was at was the correct one, took a deep breath, held it, then chucked the ball and let everything work its magic. In four seconds the room was filled with roars and cheers. Nayeon, once again, pushed the results away from the mind and let the present live.
They continued the game, now both down to one cup each. It was Nayeon’s turn. Everyone’s eyes were on her. She could hear Chaeyoung’s rapid breathing. Momo’s pout and Dahyun’s slumped shoulders made her sad. They put up a strong fight but Nayeon was too good that they were all sure she would win them the game.
Or she would have if it weren’t for those few seconds she wondered if Sana’s friend would like to have a drink with her. She decided to let her eyes pass over the pretty face with the pretty eyes who sent her pretty, dazzling, gummy smile. Nayeon panicked and accidentally threw the ball too hard and too fast, unintentionally pelting it at Momo’s forehead.
Jeongyeon blew the whistle. “Foul!”
“What is this, basketball?!” shouted Chaeyoung.
Crap. Nayeon slipped up. She was thinking about the future. She wasn’t living in the moment and that had cost her and Chaeyoung the win. With ease, Dahyun landed the ball right into their final cup and screamed in victory as Momo swung her around.
“I’ll drink it,” but Chaeyoung stopped her. “Chaeng?”
To make it more fun they equally agreed on filling the cup to the brim. “It’s okay, unnie, I’m the one who dragged you into this. I will be the one who drinks it.”
Before she could protest Chaeyoung began chugging, the drink spilling lightly down the sides of her mouth. Nayeoun wept theatrically, wiping a fake tear away. “My child has grown up well.”
The sweet moment was interrupted by Dahyun wiggling two soju bottles. “Time to drink up girls!”
Nayeon wasn’t worried about herself, she could handle 12 shots. But Chaeyoung, on the other hand, was still a newbie to drinking. “Are you sure you can do it?”
Chaeyoung nodded absentmindedly. “I’ll survive.”
12 shot glasses were lined up for each of them. Why did Nayeon make such a bet? She knew why. It was because she was so sure that they’d win. That Dahyun and Momo would be the ones with suffering livers and wallets. That was what happened when you count your chickens before they hatched.
Nayeon was amazing at beer pong but she still shouldn’t have believed that the future held their success because anything could go wrong at any moment.
She clinked her glass against Chaeyoung’s. “Bottoms up.”
24 shots later, Nayeon and Chaeyoung were squeezing each other in a drunken hug, sluggishly telling each other that they did an amazing job and that they loved each other so much. Buzzed Nayeon took her leave and in came drunk Nayeon.
Drunk Nayeon was a cuddler, a kisser, and a dancer. The whole shebang.
Tzuyu and Dahyun took Chaeyoung, saying they were gonna freshen her up. She saw Jihyo sharing the soju she’d given her earlier with Momo and Jeongyeon. And Nayeon was pulled by Sana who giggled when she slumped onto her back.
“Nayeon, I know you’re drunk but if you could kindly sober up for a few minutes, that'd be great.”
“You have five minutes,” she said, trying to sound sober and maintain balance.
“This is Mina, my friend.”
“You have very pretty eyes, and a pretty smile, your whole face is pretty.” it was the alcohol speaking but a part of her knew she would have told Mina, sober or not.
“Oh, um, thank you.”
“She’s usually not this forward with new people.”
Mina shook her head. “It’s okay, I get it. It’s the soju.”
“It’s the truth,” remarked drunk Nayeon.
“I should have introduced you two earlier before she got...like this.”
“It’s fine, Sana. She’s kinda cute.”
Nayeon gasped. “You think I’m cute?” she turned to Sana in awe. “She thinks I’m cute!”
“I heard her, Nayeonie. And what do we say?”
Tapping the tip of her pointers, Nayeon swayed like an embarrassed child. “Thank you, Mina.”
“You’re welcome,” chuckled Mina.
“Okay, you drunk baby, let’s try and sober you up so you can at least be aware when the new year starts.” it’s Jeongyeon and Jihyo who dragged her away from Mina. She tried to fight it but the soju has made her weak.
They set her on the toilet, wiped her face with a wet towel, and help her drink from a water bottle that they pulled out from somewhere. Jihyo continued wiping her face as Jeongyeon fed her some cold pizza that she also pulled out from somewhere Nayeon didn’t know. Wow, they really came prepared.
Nayeon looked at her questioningly after biting the pizza. “I know you get hungry when you start sobering up and this was all I found in the fridge that wasn't more alcohol.”
With Jeongyeon giving her food and Jihyo wiping her face, it warmed her heart, bringing back memories from their high school days in which Nayeon would get a bit too drunk and they’d come to her rescue. They’ve all grown up both age-wise and in their own little ways.
Jihyo now watched over all of them when they got together, always opting to be the DD or sober one to make sure none of them lost their heads while intoxicated. Jeongyeon always made sure to carry some sort of food when they went or kept her cupboards and fridge fully stocked when they came over (which was all the time because Sana liked holding little get-togethers at their place often).
“How are things with you and Sana?”
Jeongyeon smiles at the mention of her girlfriend. “Really good, actually. Before break ends we’re going to Japan to visit her parents.”
“That’s nice.”
“What about you Nayeon? How are things looking in the relationship department?”
Nayeon gives a thumbs down. “It’s barely running at the moment.”
“Sana was telling me that she wanted to hook you and Mina up because, as I quote, ‘They’re so each other’s type and I just know they’re meant to be’.” said Jihyo, leaning against the sink.
“Jeongyeon, your girlfriends a lunatic.”
She laughed. “Tell me something I don’t know.” then she turned serious. “But, really, if what Jihyo said is true, are you gonna give it a go?”
“I’d rather not talk or think about the future.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m afraid of missing too much of the present. Whatever happens, happens.” Nayeon is grateful when the two nod thoughtfully and don’t pester further. “But it doesn’t mean I’m against the idea of getting to know her right now.”
Not wanting to think about the future of what could be between Nayeon and Mina, if the latter even wants anything to do with her, has more to do with the fact that Mina is from Japan and will surely be going back home after the holidays are over and Nayeon would rather much not sign up for something that might be destined to be purely long-distance.
Japan wasn’t super far but it also wasn’t a train ride away. For now, she’d focus on the now and whatever is to happen would happen.
“Alright, I can stand on my own and not slur. I’m ready to head back out there.”
Nayeon checked the time on her phone as they head back into the party. It was no 11:39 PM. They were very close to midnight. Less than half an hour to go till they welcomed the new year. It was more than enough time to talk to Mina some more.
She searched through the bodies trying to spot what was now a familiar face. In quick time her gaze landed on Mina in the corner of the living room, surrounded by Momo and Sana. When she walked up to them they were spitting out fast Japanese that all sounded blurred and meshed together.
But always the one to fit in, she joined in, nodding as if she understood everything. “Oh, yeah, for sure. I totally agree with you, Momo.” They all stare back at her with a blank expression, making Nayeon chuckle awkwardly. “Hehe, what’s with the looks?”
The pause broke by their burst of laughter. Relief shot through Nayeon.
“Do you even know any Japanese?” asked Momo.
“Just little things I picked up from watching anime.”
“You’re just like Jeongyeon,” said Sana with a fond look.
“I don’t have enough time to actually study it but,” Nayeon spared a quick glance at Mina who was already watching her. “Maybe I should start.”
In her head, she created a scenario in which Mina would somehow volunteer to be her personal tutor which lead to many other scenarios. What she hadn’t expected was Momo to volunteer as a tribute. “Don’t worry Nayeonie, I will spend every waking moment with you, teaching you until you are better at Japanese than the three of us put together.”
“Uh,” Nayeon was unsure of how to respond. “I retract my statement and I retract myself.” she started taking steps back, sending eye signals to Mina to retract herself as well.
Thankfully, Mina was smart and understood. “I’m gonna use the restroom.”
“I’ll show you.”
Momo sent her a knowing look while Sana shook her fists adorably while mouthing, ‘You got this!’.
Nayeon followed Mina quickly into the surprisingly empty hallway. Odd that there wasn’t a single body in sight. That made talking easier. They leaned on opposite walls in front of each other. It was then Nayeon really took in Mina’s outfit, appreciating it. A cream turtleneck, plaid jacket, navy skinny jeans, and black velvet ankle boots. It was a simple, casual outfit but Nayeon could tell that Mina carried it with elegance. As for her own outfit, she opted for a red long sleeve topped with a black bomber jacket, black skinnies, and whatever white pair of shoes she found. Simplicity as well.
“How do you know Sana?”
“We went to high school together.”
“Oh, cool.”
“Yup,” Mina made an emphasized pop on the “p”.
“Do you...have any...resolutions?” she wasn’t big on these either but she was desperate for a conversation to start.
“Just one.”
“Yeah? Would it be too much to ask if you shared?”
“Not at all, it’s just,” Mina sighed. “It might sound a bit narcissistic.”
“I don’t you well but I can easily tell that you’re nowhere near being narcissistic.”
“How would you know though? Like you said, you don’t know me.”
Nayeon shrugged. “Call it intuition.”
“You have some good intuition.”
“So, let’s hear it. What does surname Mina--”
“Myoui.”
Nayeon nodded thankfully. “What does Myoui Mina have planned for the new year of 2020?”
“To love myself more than I did this year,” she said with a sad smile.
It was only a single sentence. But Nayeon could sense it had a strong determination behind it. Mina was part of the group that sincerely meant their wishes and desires for the new year.
“I really hope you accomplish it, Mina.”
“Thank you, Nayeon,” they smiled at each other for a few seconds until, “Now, what is yours?”
“I...don’t have any. I’m not really into planning for the future and stuff.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow, so you must be content with how you are right now.”
“I guess...yeah...you could say that.”
“Well, I hope you continue being at peace and fulfilled.”
“So, um, when are you heading back to Japan?”
Mina gave her half a smile. “The day after tomorrow.”
Damn. That wasn’t what Nayeon wanted to hear. “Oh, so soon.”
“I have some business to settle which I already pushed back just to come visit Sana.”
“Guess I won’t be seeing you around much after all.”
“Maybe in the future, we will. We are, after all, linked by Sana.”
That was true. Sana was the bridge between them. And Jihyo did mention Sana wanting to match them together. So she figured there wouldn’t be any harm in becoming at least friends. It was just that the future was unknown and getting her hopes up of keeping in touch with Mina was against her rules.
“Right, the future,” said Nayeon solemnly.
“Let me guess, you prefer living in the moment.”
“Bingo.”
“There's nothing wrong with giving the future little thought but let me just tell you this,” Mina stood in front of her. “The future depends on the present, we live in the present, thus we make the future, and we need to face the future without fear.”
Sana’s voice vibrated throughout the hall as she yelled at everyone to gather around the TV because the countdown was starting soon. A minute left. Nayeon wanted to join the crowd but she didn’t want to break eye contact with Mina. Something was alluring about her eyes that just captivated her so easily.
She processed Mina’s words in her head. If the future was made by the present and they made the future in which they needed to face fearlessly, then Nayeon, for the first time in a long while, started planning what her future would hold if she did what she wanted to do when the clock struck midnight.
Everyone in the apartment started counting down from 10.
“You look scared.”
...9...8...7...
“Because I am,” mumbled Nayeon.
...6...5...4...
“Of what?”
...3...2...1…
“Of what’ll happen after this.”
Happy New Year!
Nayeon pulled Mina in by the waist, cupping her cheek gently, and dived into the unknown that was the future, in which would soon become her future by seconds.
Mina’s lips were soft, they felt delicate and Nayeon was afraid that the slightest pressure would hurt her so she kissed slowly, gently, allowing Mina the chance to pull away or to kiss harder. She may have crossed a line and wouldn't be surprised if Mina slapped her because that sue would be a way to enter the new year.
Unexpectedly though Mina wound her arms around her neck and started moving her lips more urgently. There was a hidden passion in this kiss in which could only be felt and not seen. It was intimate but sweet. They only pulled away when Dahyun entered the hallway, complaining about her bladder being near close to exploding.
“Whoa! Hey! Leave some space for Jesus you two!” she had exclaimed before rushing into the bathroom.
“And that was…”
“Dahyun, the one who beat Chaeyoung and me in beer pong.”
“Oh, right, right. She seems sweet.”
Nayeon exhaled. “She is, all of our friends are...in their own way, of course.”
“I like them.”
“That’s good.”
“How about you?”
“Hm?”
“In what way are you sweet?”
She had just confidently yanked Mina into a kiss but yet here she was blushing like a shy girl that she was not. “Well...I...my way of being sweet is learning a whole new language for a girl I just met while also mentally hoping that she agrees if I ask her out on a date before she leaves.”
“That is sweet and I think that girl might take you up on that offer.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Then Mina, would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow. I swear I’m a good catch.”
“And an excellent beer ponger.”
“That trick shot is what got you, huh.”
“Not fully, but it did add some good points in your honor.”
Nayeon then smirked. “I’ve got another one up my sleeve.” And with all her strength to hold onto Mina, Naeyeon dipped her halfway, voice slightly straining. “Romantic, right?”
Later that night, Nayeon began organizing a date for her and Mina because for this girl she wanted to be ready and prepared for. It was exhilarating to live in the moment but it was also exciting to plan ahead and try and make those potential possibilities come into existence.
Like Nayeon looking into Japanese lessons while also trying to recall if there were any open transfers to Japan. Maybe looking forward to the future wasn’t so bad if the right person was in it.
Her resolution for the new year: create the future she wants and deserves.