Work Text:
It was ten at night and Seonghwa was pouring wine for himself and Hongjoong. It was January and they both were still on holiday. Hongjoong had picked some movie for them and their plan was to just relax and spend some quality time together. Wooyoung, their son, was in his room and would probably not show his face the whole night, thus Seonghwa and Hongjoong got to be alone. To be honest, television and wine was how they had spent many nights the past weeks, but Seonghwa didn’t mind. Soon they’d be back to work and it would be much harder to spend time together without any stress. Seonghwa set the bottle on the counter and picked up the glasses, walking in the living room where Hongjoong was waiting.
He set the glasses on the coffee table and sat on the couch, they wrapped themselves in the big wool blanket and Hongjoong rested his head on Seonghwa’s shoulder. The movie turned out to be Parasite, which neither of the had watched yet, but had planned to for some time. It was great and they were both fully enjoying it, until a phone ringing interrupted them.
It was Seonghwa’s phone and he reluctantly untangled himself from the blanket to go get his phone from the kitchen, while Hongjoong reached for the remote to pause the movie.
“Who is it?” Hongjoong asked.
“San?” Seonghwa answered, surprised and confused, he met Hongjoong’s eyes, who looked surprised as well.
“Hey, San, why are you calling this late? Is everything okay?” Seonghwa asked. San was breathing heavily and started speaking a mile a minute, Seonghwa couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it was something about Wooyoung.
“Hey, hey, calm down, I can’t understand you,” he tried to calm San down. Hongjoong looked worried and got up from the couch, coming to stand next to Seonghwa. Seonghwa could hear the deep breath San too, before he started speaking slower.
“Wooyoung, he’s… He’s not alright, I don’t think. He sent me some weird texts. Is he home? Please go check on him, he’s not answering my calls or texts, please,” San spoke, his voice panicked. Seonghwa’s heart plummeted and he locked eyes with Hongjoong.
-
Wooyoung: san
Wooyoung: san
Wooyoung: i love you so much youre the best thign thats ever happened to me
Wooyoung: im sorry please dont be sad
San: wooyoung??? are you okay??
Wooyoung: im fine i love you
San: i love you too, im gonna call you
missed call
San: wooyoung please answer
Wooyoung: incant dont call i lovei you
San: what’s wrong??? I’m worried, please
San: are you home? are your parents there?
Wooyoung: imssorroy i love yu so much i hpe you know that
Wooyoung: i cant
Wooyoung: please don’t be sad im sos sorry
Wooyoung: please tell ddads i love them too so mchu
Wooyoung: goodbye san i love
missed call
missed call
San: WOOYOUNG PLEASE ANSWER
missed call
San: WOOYOUNG
San: IM CALLING YOUR PARENTS
-
“Wooyoung!” Seonghwa exclaimed and rushed towards his room, Hongjoong following right behind asking what was wrong.
Trying to respect his son’s privacy a little, at least, Seonghwa stopped behind the door and knocked loudly.
“Wooyoung!” he called. And when he didn’t get an immediate answer, he slammed the door open.
The sight was not a good one. They both gasped loudly and Seonghwa could swear his heart stopped. He dropped the phone and bolted to Wooyoung’s side, he could distantly hear San yelling in panic as the phone fell.
“Call 119!” Seonghwa screamed at Hongjoong, who was still frozen in the doorway, staring at the scene in disbelief.
Wooyoung was sitting on the floor, leaning on his bed and it looked like he was asleep. But the pill bottles on the bed and the tablets scattered on the floor told them Wooyoung wasn’t just sleeping, no, it was something worse. The first thing Seonghwa did was press his fingers on the side of Wooyoung’s throat, looking for a pulse. He nearly wanted to sigh in relief when he found one, it was slow, but he was still alive.
“Wooyoung.” Seonghwa said and shook him, trying to wake him up. He repeated the actions a few times, but got no answer.
Wooyoung’s fingers were ice cold as Seonghwa took them and started tugging him into the recovery position. Hongjoong was on the phone, telling him something about an ambulance, but Seonghwa couldn’t hear him. All his senses were focused on Wooyoung and his limp body.
“Is he alive?” Hongjoong asked with a shaky voice and Seonghwa choked on his saliva.
“Yes,” he said, keeping the answer short. For now, he thought, but didn’t want to voice it out loud.
Once Hongjoong hung up the phone, he relayed the information to Seonghwa, who was sitting on the floor behind Wooyoung’s back. His other hand was on his throat again, feeling the pulse. He just needed to know Wooyoung was still there with them. His other hand was rubbing up and down Wooyoung’s side, it was a useless motion, but he himself felt comforted by it.
He felt so lost and useless. Despite his medical training and career as a doctor, he didn’t know what to do. Though, his subconscious was telling him there was nothing he could do, other than wait for the ambulance. As much as he wanted to get the pills out of Wooyoung’s system, make him vomit them, he knew he absolutely should not. He knew they could only wait. But he didn’t want to accept it. There had to be something they could do to save their baby. His heart was hammering in his chest and his whole body trembled because of the adrenaline. He looked at Hongjoong, who had kneeled on Wooyoung’s other side, he was shaking too and staring at their son.
“We… We should call San. I just hung up on him to call the ambulance and… and he must be worried out of his mind,” Hongjoong spoke quietly, voice shaking. Seonghwa nodded, not finding it in himself to speak.
He tried to shake Wooyoung awake again as Hongjoong dialed San’s number and tried to collect himself, he was the adult after all and San just a teenager. Seonghwa bit his lip as he could hear San yelling in the phone when he answered. Hongjoong explained the situation to San before asking him to go find his dad, to whom he explained the whole thing all over again.
“Stay with San, please. We’ll call you when we’re at the hospital, you can come too, I know San wants to,” Hongjoong said. He snapped his head up and looked at Seonghwa when they could hear the sirens outside. Saying a quick goodbye to the phone, he sprung up and rushed out of the room and to the front door.
It was all a blur to Seonghwa as the paramedics rushed in the room. They asked him questions and Seonghwa didn’t feel like himself when he answered, it was like someone else was controlling his body. Wooyoung was carried to the ambulance and Hongjoong helped Seonghwa up from the floor before they both were ushered in the car as well. Hongjoong’s tight grip on his hand was the only thing keeping Seonghwa sane right now.
-
Sitting in the waiting room was excruciating. Wooyoung had immediately been wheeled out of their sight and they were left in the room with no information. Hongjoong had phoned Yunho, San’s dad, and they were on their way as well. Seonghwa and Hongjoong managed to sit in the waiting room for five minutes before Seonghwa’s first coworker spotted him, at first, he smiled and walked to them briskly, but he seemed to notice the state they were in and his face dropped.
“Seonghwa, hi. What brings you here today? At this time? And Hongjoong… Hi,” he questioned carefully.
“Hi, Jiho,” Hongjoong greeted him with a tight voice.
“Wooyoung… He…” Seonghwa swallowed the lump in his throat. “Overdose… Intentional,” he choked out, not being able to say the words suicide attempt out loud. Jiho breathed in sharply and reached for Seonghwa’s hand, squeezing it.
“I’m sorry to hear tha-“ he started, but his pager interrupted him. “Sorry, I have to go. But it’s gonna be okay,” he said before jogging away.
The word seemed the spread quickly since more of his work friends came to see them and voice their support. As much as Seonghwa wanted to be annoyed at everyone hustling around them, he was glad about the distraction. Once they were left alone again, Seonghwa leaned against the back rest and let out a sigh. He just wanted information about Wooyoung.
“Hongjoong! Seonghwa!” came San’s shrill scream and Seonghwa jumped up. San was sprinting towards them with Yunho running after him, his other dad Mingi and little brother Jongho were following as well.
San ran straight into Seonghwa and he wrapped San in a firm hug.
“Where is he? How is he? Is he okay?” San babbled hysterically against Seonghwa’s shoulder and he could feel the tears wetting his shirt. Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong, who was hugging Yunho. He looked at Jongho, who was standing by Mingi’s side looking very shaken. He then met Mingi’s eyes, Seonghwa was sure he had never seen Mingi look so serious, and he had known him nearly his whole life.
“They took him away, we haven’t heard anything yet,” Seonghwa managed to answer, and that’s when the tears finally came. Mingi’s hand came to his shoulder as he sobbed on San’s head. San was crying too, squeezing Seonghwa tightly. Hongjoong broke down as well and Jongho started crying on Yunho’s shoulder, who was trying to comfort Hongjoong at the same time.
-
After some more time, a doctor finally approached them. It was one of Seonghwa’s newest coworkers and he didn’t know him that well yet.
“Seonghwa, Hongjoong. I’m Doctor Lee Minhyuk. Follow me, I’ll take you to Wooyoung, I have a few things to say,” he said, going straight to the point. Seonghwa nodded and Hongjoong grabbed his hand.
“Are you here to see Wooyoung too?” Doctor Lee directed his question to their friends.
“Yes!” San exclaimed and the doctor nodded.
“Wait here for a little while.”
“No! What! I want to come too! I want to know what’s going on! Is he okay? Is he alive!” the volume of San’s voice grew with every question. Mingi was holding him, trying to calm him down but San wasn’t having any of it, instead he was struggling to get out of Mingi’s arms.
“He is alive, and he’ll be okay. I’ll take you to him soon,” Doctor Lee said calmly. Seonghwa knew better than any of them how extreme reactions were nothing new to the doctor, it was something every doctor faced during their careers.
Seonghwa and Hongjoong followed Doctor Lee, they were both nervous but Seonghwa found comfort in knowing Wooyoung was fine. After a short walk, they were let in a room and there Wooyoung was, laying in the bed, asleep. Seonghwa felt tears in his eyes again. He felt like it had been forever since he had seen Wooyoung the last time, images of him laying in their home unconscious flashed in his mind.
“He is fine, we got everything out and gave him an antidote. But we’ll have to run some more tests tomorrow to check his condition fully. And…” he spoke, drifting off.
“I’m sure you understand, and I can’t force you or him into it, but I highly recommend psychological testing,” he finished. Seonghwa nodded, “psychological testing” sounded harsh, but it wasn’t that. Just a normal procedure done to someone seeking help for their mental health problems, mapping out their condition and figuring out the possible ways to help. Obviously Wooyoung was not in a good place with his mental health so both Seonghwa and Hongjoong knew it was something that needed to be done, though they would also have to talk with Wooyoung.
Doctor Lee explained more in detail what they had done and how they would proceed from now on. Wooyoung would be kept in the hospital for a few days, at least, so they could monitor him and once he was discharged, he’d have to come back for a check up in a few weeks.
“I’ll go get your friends,” Doctor Lee said and exited the room, leaving the family alone.
Hongjoong and Seonghwa immediately sat themselves on each side of Wooyoung’s bed. Seonghwa took his hand, it was still cold, but not as icy as it had been earlier.
“I can’t believe… We never noticed anything. I can’t believe it got this far,” Hongjoong whispered, voice breaking. Seonghwa felt crushed, battling with the guilt himself too.
“I know… But we can’t blame ourselves,” he reasoned, very well knowing it was easier said than done.
-
Wooyoung woke up confused, very confused. He was tired and didn’t even want to open his eyes. His body felt weird, kind of numb and just strange. He could hear soft voices talking and someone was holding his hand, actually, both of his hand were being held. He frowned before blinking his eyes open, he looked around.
The room was bland, white and ugly shades of green decorating everything. It was a hospital room. His eyes fell on Mingi and Jongho, who were sleeping on the chairs next to the wall. His papa was talking with Yunho in front of the window while his dad was sitting on his other side, San on the other. Neither of them had noticed him being awake yet, they were looking at each other, talking.
His chest squeezed when he finally realized what was going on. He realized what he had done. It was never meant to go like this, he was not supposed to wake up in a hospital room. He was never meant to wake up. His breathing got shallow as he panicked, and his dad seemed to notice it because he looked down at him, he gasped.
“Wooyoung,” he said, the relief way too obvious in his voice and Wooyoung wanted to cry. Four pairs of eyes were on his and suddenly everyone was talking, it was all too much. Wooyoung felt so overwhelmed and his chest hurt, he couldn’t breathe. His ears were ringing and he couldn’t hear what his dad was saying.
“Wooyoung, just breathe. It’s okay, you’re okay,” his dad said right in his ear, he was leaning over him and cradling Wooyoung’s head in his arms. Their cheeks were pressed together and Wooyoung felt relieved, the room was quiet.
Before they had time to talk more, a doctor walked in. He introduced himself and did some minor tests and asked questions to check up on Wooyoung. He did his best to concentrate and answer, trying to ignore the panic in his chest. The check up was just a quick one, he was told he would have to go through some more tests the next day. Wooyoung just nodded at everything.
Once the doctor left the room, it was quiet. San was squeezing his hand almost too tightly, and Wooyoung was afraid to look at him.
“Wooyoung,” San whispered and Wooyoung couldn’t ignore him anymore. Their eyes met and Wooyoung willed himself to not cry. San looked wrecked, his eyes were puffy and red, there were dried tear tracks on his cheeks. And it was all Wooyoung’s fault.
“I’m so sorry,” Wooyoung whispered and San threw himself at him.
“It’s okay,” he said and sniffled before continuing. “I can’t lose you, please, I love you so much.”
Wooyoung couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and just let them fall. He let San hold him while he just cried. He hated himself for causing so much pain to his boyfriend, his dads and Yunho, Mingi and Jongho too. He smiled through the tears when San pressed kisses on both of his cheeks.
“It’s late, you should go home and get some sleep,” his papa said to Yunho, Mingi, San and Jongho. Panic squeezed Wooyoung’s chest again.
“I don’t want to be alone,” he said quickly, voice high. His dad squeezed his hand.
“We’ll stay, you won’t be.”
San protested, insisting he would stay. But they managed to convince him to go home as well, Wooyoung knew he needed to get out of the hospital and sleep. San pouted and pressed a quick kiss on Wooyoung’s lips.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Wooyoung said, holding San’s hand.
“Promise?” San whispered, and the implications of that one word hurt Wooyoung.
“Promise,” he said, his lips wobbling.
Before leaving Jongho came to hug Wooyoung too. His friend had been mostly quiet, staying by his dad’s side, but Wooyoung could tell he had cried too and was distraught.
When their friends left, it was only him and his dads. Wooyoung was tired and wanted to sleep, but before doing so, he had something to say. He knew if he went to sleep now, he would chicken out. It would be harder to voice his thoughts later. He looked at his dads, his papa had moved to San’s chair and the two were now talking about… Tomorrow’s dinner? It felt weirdly normal.
“Hey,” Wooyoung started and got his dads’ attention immediately.
“What is it, baby?” his dad said gently.
“I think… No. I know… I need help. I can’t-“ he took a deep breath. “I can’t deal with this alone anymore,” he said, not daring to meet his dads’ gazes. It was hard, to admit he needed help. He had been bottling this up for so long and no one knew what he had been going through. And he wasn’t blaming them, he had kept everything hidden as well as possible. He was often ashamed of how he felt and thought he was just overreacting. But everything was just too much and he needed someone to make it better.
“We will get you help. You’ll get through this, we’ll get through this together. We’re here for you, always, and we love you so much,” his dad said and a few stray tears rolled down Wooyoung’s cheek.
“We’ll figure everything out tomorrow. Sleep now, I know you’re tired,” his papa said, petting his head.
Wooyoung closed his eyes, finally feeling the anxiety in his chest to ease, at least a little. He was going to be okay.