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“I swear to God, if another person tracks salt into this store, I’m going to kill them,” Touya said as he rolled the mop bucket into the front part of the sandwich shop he worked at. He yanked the mop out of the bucket and took out all his rage on it, straining the water from it until it was nearly dry.
“Touya, there’s no way that mop is wet enough to get anything off the floor,” Himiko said from behind the front counter where she was preparing cheese. “You know how pissy Tomura can get about the state of the floors,” she continued as she peeled the cheese apart.
The sound of the spray nozzle from the sink in the kitchen stopped. “I’m sorry I hate gross floors!” came Tomura’s gravelly voice from the back room where he was washing dishes. Touya groaned. This is why he was going to kill the people tracking salt into the store. Because Tomura was an ass about the floors and somehow, he always ended up doing them after the lunch rush.
“Do they even have another option? It snowed. They put salt down to melt it. Now people track it into the store,” Shuuichi said as he stocked up chips on the chip rack.
“Touya, that’s kind of how snow works,” Himiko giggled and Touya tried to tone her out. He put the mop back in the bucket and strained it again, this time keeping the mop damp enough for Himiko’s liking. Every time it snowed, salt was laid out on the sidewalks, and every time salt was laid out on the sidewalks, people tracked it into the store and ruined the floors. It didn’t matter how much effort he put into getting the residue up. It never made a bit of difference.
-
“You’ve really never met Chicken Boy?” Magne asked one day as she sliced a tray of brownies while Touya wrapped them in plastic wrap.
“Who the fuck is Chicken Boy?” Touya hissed, putting his knife down for a moment to just stare at Magne. He glanced over at the tables of customers in the store, praying they hadn’t heard him curse.
“Well, he’s one of the regulars, but he only really started coming in on a consistent basis within the past month. The dude works at Best Buy across the street. I can’t believe you’ve never seen him. He always gets a large sandwich on white bread, but it’s a dice roll whether he’ll get the chicken marinara or the chicken barbeque, hence the nickname Chicken Boy,” Magne explained as she continued to cut the brownies. "And he also always gets a cookie combo with a large drink."
“I don’t know, maybe I’ve met him, and I just haven’t realized it’s him,” Touya responded, going back to absentmindedly wrapping brownies. “Why are you bringing him up?”
“No reason,” she replied with a smirk on her face. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
-
“Touya, I don’t know if it was you or the other closer from last night, but the toaster was left on overnight,” Tomura said from his desk in the back as Touya went to hang up his coat on the rack before clocking in.
“Fuck,” he mumbled to himself. Turning off the toaster was the very last thing they did before locking up the store, and Touya had a bad habit of sometimes forgetting to turn it off. Since he was the shift manager, it was technically his fault if dumb shit like that happened, so he appreciated Tomura not shoving all the blame onto him.
“Do you want this place to burn down or something?” Tomura asked, not looking up from his computer. “Because leaving the toaster on overnight is how you get this place to burn down.” Okay scratch that, turns out Tomura was going for verbal harassment instead of blaming him.
“I’m not some kind of pyromaniac if that’s what you’re asking,” he responded, taking his hat and gloves off as well and shoving them in his coat pockets.
“Is Touya some kind of pyromaniac?” Himiko said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “Is that what I’m hearing? Touya’s a pyromaniac?”
“Himiko, shut the fuck up,” he replied, heading up to the front and leaving her and Tomura in the back so he could get away from this nonsense.
“Shuuichi! Did you hear?” Himiko called after him to where Shuuichi was on the front line. “Touya’s a pyromaniac who wants the store to burn down!”
-
“I wonder where Chicken Boy is. Haven’t seen him in a while, and he normally comes in around this time,” Atsuhiro said one afternoon, glancing at the clock and then at the door to the store.
“Why does everyone keep bringing up this Chicken Boy in front of me?” Touya asked from where he was mindlessly scrubbing at some stain on the side of the drink machine. It had been there for years and had no chance of ever coming off. Business was typically slow this time of today, but that day it was a graveyard, and he was so bored that scrubbing at that stain was more interesting than checking his phone for the tenth time that hour.
He paused for a moment and looked up at Atsuhiro. “And why is everyone so obsessed with me meeting him? Does he even have a name, or do you just put ‘Chicken Boy’ on his ticket or something?”
“Magne nearly once put that on accident, you know!” Atsuhiro laughed. “But his name is Keigo.”
“Doesn’t answer my first question.”
“I guess I’ll tell you, but don’t tell anyone it was me who told you,” Atsuhiro said, leaning on the counter with a sly grin on his face. “Basically, Tomura’s convinced that despite your cold and edgy-boy persona, your type is dumb blonde himbos. And that’s exactly what Chicken Boy is.”
Shit, how did he know? he thought, fighting to keep a straight face. “A dumb blonde himbo?” Touya asked, trying to make it seem like he was disinterested.
“Yes,” Atsuhiro said with the exact same smirk Magne had had the other day. Touya sighed went back to scrubbing the drink machine.
-
“Why can’t I use the meat slicer?” Himiko whined. “I bet I’d be so good at it! I could slice up all the meat for the day faster than anyone else.”
“Himiko, quit whining about it. You know you have to be eighteen to use it,” Tomura replied, taking a swig of his Mountain Dew and trying not to look like he was out for murder. This was the fourth time this week she had complained about it.
“So what I’m hearing is that for my eighteenth birthday, you’ll train me on the meat slicer?” she asked, bouncing up and down on the tips of her toes.
“I’ll think about it if you quit bugging me about it.”
“Score!” she cheered. Tomura rolled his eyes.
-
People kept talking about Chicken Boy in front of Touya, and he knew that he’d meet him eventually, especially since Tomura had just happened to schedule him as the closing manager the whole week, and the closing manager just happened to come in during the late afternoon, when Chicken Boy would allegedly frequent the store.
The place was completely empty that afternoon, save for Himiko in the back pretending to do dishes when she was actually just playing rhythm games on her phone. Touya didn’t care and wasn’t about to reprimand her since there was nothing to do, and he himself was up front pretending to stock the line while actually just looking at his phone.
He heard the bell above the front door ring as someone entered the store. Shoving his phone into his pocket, he looked up and was about to give the corporate-mandated greeting that all incoming customers were supposed to receive when he stopped in his tracks.
This had to be Chicken Boy. It wasn’t even the Best Buy uniform that gave it away. Touya was sure that if he googled the phrase “dumb blonde himbo,” he’d get a picture of this guy. Shit, he’s hot. He would call over Himiko to take the order, but he if he fucked up this first impression, he didn’t want Himiko to know about it. He took off his plastic gloves and threw them in the trash before going over to the cash register. “Hi, what can I get for you today?” he asked in a normal sounding voice.
Nice. This was going perfectly.
“Yeah, can I have a chicken marinara sub,” Keigo began.
“Large on white?” Touya asked, remembering what Magne had said about Keigo’s usual order and instantly regretting every single life choice he had made up until that moment.
“How did you know that?” he asked with a laugh. “I don’t think I’ve seen you working before.”
Shit. This was going horribly.
“Oh, it was a . . . lucky guess,” he replied, fighting the urge to go hide in the back and never show his face in public ever again. “Would you like to make that a combo?” he asked, already preparing to ring up a large cookie combo. At least he didn’t actually hit the button until Keigo told him what he wanted.
“Uh, yeah, a large cookie combo please,” he replied. Touya punched in the rest of his order and tried not to think about how the rest of the staff here were spot on with guessing his type in men. This was fucking ridiculous. Why did they have to be so right?
He made Himiko come up and actually make the sandwich so he could save himself just a bit of embarrassment. “I need to finish counting the drawer from this afternoon,” he lied, both of them knowing perfectly well it had already been counted. She looked over at who was standing on the other side of the counter and then back at Touya and grinned.
“Sure thing,” she said with a strangled voice, face turning pink.
As Touya went to the back, he debated quitting right then and there.
-
Keigo began dropping in more often. Or maybe he was dropping in just as often as he had before and Touya just happened to keep running into him. At the very least, this gave him multiple opportunities to redeem himself from that embarrassing first encounter.
“Seems like you’re in here pretty often,” he told Keigo as he began slicing the bread for his sandwich. He inwardly cringed because shit, he really was horrible at small talk. So much for redeeming himself.
“Yeah, well the boss is scheduling me a lot. The holidays are coming up and we’re pretty busy,” he replied.
“Same here, I guess. Maybe that’s why we keep running into each other,” he said, yet again regretting everything that he spewed. He knew this wasn’t some dumb romance novel, but apparently his mouth and his brain were not in agreement on that matter.
Keigo went over to fill up his drink, and Touya bit his lip, staring at him while he was facing the other way. He supposed that work polos weren’t meant to be flattering, but Keigo managed to pull it off anyway. His broad shoulders could probably look good in any shirt. And what gave him the right to have work khakis that framed his ass so nicely?
“Gay,” Tomura coughed under his breath.
“Excuse me?” Touya hissed back at him, not even bothering to stop staring at Keigo.
“Touya,” Tomura said again, trying to get his attention. At this point, he didn’t care. His boss was just being stupid, and he was going to keep staring at Keigo’s ass just to spite him.
“Touya, the bread’s on fire, you dumbass,” he said. He turned around and sure enough, the bread had gotten stuck in the toaster and was currently in the process of being burnt to a crisp. This wasn’t helping with his claim that he was not a pyromaniac. He fished the bread out of the toaster and sliced a new one, vowing to himself that from then on, he’d only stare at Keigo if Tomura wasn’t around.
-
“Guys, I just had a realization,” Magne said, running from the hallway where the bathrooms were. Wasn’t she supposed to be cleaning them? “You know how five minutes ago we were fighting over what exactly constitutes a sandwich and whether or not a hotdog falls into that category?”
“Yes, and I’d prefer to not bring that up again,” Tomura replied, looking up from his laptop to glare at Magne.
“Well, if Tomura is correct in his assumption that a sandwich is any kind of bread with some filling in it, whether it be meat, cheese, or some other food, does that make a chicken tender inherently a sandwich by itself?” she asked, as if they were discussing something intellectual and not what foods fell under the umbrella of a sandwich.
“You came back from cleaning the bathroom really just to ask us all that?” Atsuhiro asked, setting down the pans he was washing and peering out into the front part of the store.
“Yes,” she said, still completely serious. Touya simply sighed and tried to drown out the conversation.
“That’s a good point, though!” Himiko piped up. “I’d say it’s more like a calzone if we’re talking specifics like this.” You have got to be kidding me.
“We are dropping this conversation permanently,” Tomura said, glaring at all his employees. “A hotdog is a sandwich and I suppose a chicken tender is a calzone. Now Magne, please go back to cleaning the bathroom.”
-
The next time Keigo showed up, it was early evening and he wasn’t wearing his Best Buy uniform, so Touya barely recognized that it was him. It wasn’t just that, it was also the fact that he was holding a small child on his hip, fast asleep with his face tucked in the crook of Keigo’s neck. He had always shown up alone every other time he’d come in.
“Hey, Keigo,” Touya said as he approached the register, where Himiko was waiting to ring him up. He grabbed a packet of chicken and began to unwrap it. “And who is this?” he asked, nodding at the boy he was carrying.
“Oh, this is my son, Fumikage,” Keigo replied with that stupid smile he always had. I guess he’s a dad, huh. “Sweetheart, I know you’re tired,” he said, nudging his son awake, “But you need to tell the nice cashier what you want.”
Himiko took their order, and Touya finally realized the reason why he was here was because this evening was their children’s special, and Keigo was likely taking advantage of the free meal for his kid. Of course. He let his mind wander a bit as he made the order. Him having a kid likely meant that he was taken, he figured, so he tried to force himself to get over the not-crush he had on the man.
That didn’t stop him from staring as Keigo took Fumikage over to the drink station and helped his son fill up his drink. Fumikage had tried to reach the fountain by himself, but he wasn’t tall enough, so his father lifted him up so he could reach it. Shit. That had no right being as adorable as it was.
Once he finished the order, Touya called out Keigo’s name and he and Fumikage came over to pick it up.
“Thanks, Touya,” he said, grinning as he took the takeout bag from across the counter. He calls me by name but not Himiko? What the fuck does that mean? He couldn’t help but gaze as Keigo balanced the bag and the drink carrier in one hand and held his son’s hand in another as the two of them headed out the front door.
“Soooo,” Himiko said after a few moments, a shit-eating grin plastered on her face. “Is having a son a turn-off for you? It’d be a shame if it were, he’s so perfect for you.”
“Himiko, shut up. He’s clearly taken—"
“Don’t worry, I stalked him on Facebook for you! He’s single!”
He turned around and just stared at her for a moment. “You what?”
“And a bit of a DILF, if you ask me. You should try to get his number.” He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with a sixteen-year-old girl.
“Himiko, you keep joking that I’m a pyromaniac, but if I ever actually follow through with burning this place down, I will ensure that you are locked in here while it burns.”
-
“Tomura forgot to mention that you need to wear this Santa hat to work today,” Fuyumi said just as Touya was about to leave for work that morning. He turned around to see her holding one of those ridiculous hats, reaching out to give it to him.
“Why did he forget to mention that? Why couldn’t he just tell me? This seems awfully suspicious,” he said, taking the hat from his sister but not actually putting it on yet. “Are you sure this isn’t one of Atsuhiro’s pranks?”
“Completely sure. I went by the store yesterday to pick up Shouto and he was wearing one of these, and he had an extra one for you. If you don’t like it, you can bring it up with Tomura. I’m just the messenger,” she said, patting his shoulder. Shouto had begun working at the store the week prior, Touya having been his connection to get him the job. He was slightly worried that his little brother wouldn’t fit in with the strange group of people that already worked there, but he tended to have issues with socializing in general.
“You should probably get going,” Fuyumi said after a few moments of silence.
“Fine,” he grumbled, finally heading out.
-
“You have your hat, right?” Tomura asked as he entered the store.
“Fuyumi wasn’t kidding? Christ, why do I have to wear a fucking Santa hat?” Touya asked, throwing the crumpled-up hat on the counter.
“Sorry, corporate said so. For the next two weeks. They think it makes the store seem more festive or something,” he said from the back room where he was working on the opening paperwork.
“That’s bullshit and I refuse to put it on until we actually open,” he said as he turned on the lights and began warming up the food heaters.
“Whatever, I guess,” Tomura said, badly hiding his laughter behind a cough.
“I also refuse to wear it if there aren’t customers in the store, and—”
“I get it, you hate the hat. Just get started on opening up, okay?”
“Fine,” he said, getting the cart to grab the food he needed to prep from the walk-in fridge. Opening shifts always seemed to go by faster than closing shifts, so maybe this wasn’t the worst thing in the world. He just prayed he had opening shifts for the next two weeks. And that Keigo wouldn’t show up at the store any time he was required to wear that dumb hat. He did manage to go an entire month without seeing The Chicken Boy when Keigo first started frequenting the place, so how hard could it really be?
He double checked the schedule and of course, he was the closing manager for the entire rest of the week.
-
Knowing his luck, of course Keigo would show up on the very first day he was required to wear the ridiculous Santa hat. And of course, Keigo wouldn’t be alone. Of course, he’d have a group of friends with him, so not only would he have to wear it in front of Keigo, he’d have to wear it in front of his friends as well.
The moment he saw him, Touya instinctively went over to slice a large white bread and prepared to put it in the toaster, before ringing up a combo on the cash register and getting a packet of chicken out. He was just about to ask if he wanted marinara or barbeque before he noticed that Keigo and his gang of friends weren’t coming towards the registers. They were standing at the entrance of the store, seemingly arguing about something.
Touya could only pick up on bits and pieces of their conversation. “Rumi, this is dumb. This whole thing is dumb.”
“No it’s not, come on, Keigo!” replied Rumi, a small, muscular woman with long white hair.
“It’s not dumb! We’re just trying to help you. We’re doing a pretty bad job at it, but still!” said a man with short blonde hair and a lot of stubble on his face.
“Jin, please,” Keigo said, having noticed that Touya was listening in on their conversation.
He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he guessed that Keigo wasn’t here to order food. He wrapped the chicken back up and deleting the combo he had already rung up on the cash register, pretending like he didn’t have Keigo’s order (mostly) memorized.
“Are you . . . are you getting anything today?” Touya asked slowly.
“Uh, no, well, I’m not buying anything if that’s what you’re asking. Sorry,” he said, scratching at the back of his neck. He left his friends near the entrance and came up to the register. “But . . . Okay, this is gonna sound weird, but please bear with me. My friend Rumi,” he said, gesturing to the woman back at the entrance, “dragged us on a mall scavenger hunt today. And one of the things is that we have to get a selfie with a worker wearing a Santa hat.”
“Okay,” Touya replied. Damn, he had gotten so used to wearing it that he forgot he had had it on. He cringed slightly. “The boss is making us wear these,” he tried to explain. “It’s not of my own volition, just so you know. I know it looks silly.”
“I don’t think it looks silly. I think it looks kinda cute,” Keigo replied, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “Anyway, uh, if you wouldn’t mind getting a selfie with me?”
“Sure, just don’t go posting it anywhere. I don’t care what you say, it makes me look ridiculous,” he said, cutting himself off before he could say any more dumb shit.
He waited for Keigo to take his phone out to take the damn picture, but he hesitated. He looked like he was pondering something for a moment, but then asked, “Actually, could we take it on your phone?”
“Uh, I guess,” Touya replied, reaching into his back pocket and taking out his phone. He opened the camera app and handed the phone to Keigo. Why in the world did I agree to this? And why are we taking this on my phone? Touya wasn’t very photogenic and had a bit of a terrifying smile, but he tried his best to not look horrid for the photo. Keigo snapped a shot and then hit the share button, texting it to someone.
“Hang on, who are you texting that to?” Touya asked.
“Me,” Keigo replied with a bit of a smirk on his face.
“If you’re just gonna text it to yourself, then why did we have to take it on my phone?” he asked.
“Well,” he handed Touya his phone back, “Now you have my number,” he said, winking and heading back to where his friends were frantically whispering to each other. Touya was dumbstruck and could only gape at the group as they left the store.
After they went, he looked around to make sure none of the other employees were watching, then he took his phone out, already feeling himself blushing from what he was about to do. He opened the text message that had just been sent and saved Keigo’s number under the name “Chicken Boy” with a heart emoji at the end.
-
Touya got a text from Keigo later that evening.
> I wasn’t lying when I said you looked cute in that Santa hat.
He smiled as he opened the notification and typed his response.
< Thanks. Glad to know it’s the stupid hat that makes you say that.
> Hey, you look cute without it too. And I bet you’d look extra cute in something other than that boring uniform they make you wear at work.
Was Keigo asking what Touya thought he was asking? He decided to go for it.
< I could take you out for dinner. Then I’d also get to see you in something other than your work uniform.
> Sounds good. ;) Does this Saturday work for you?
< Lucky you, that’s my evening off. Let me know where you want to go. I could probably get my brother Shouto to babysit Fumikage if you want.
> I’ll probably take you up on that offer! I can’t wait.
-
The day after the Santa Hat Selfie Incident, the temperature dropped below zero. This normally wouldn’t be an issue, but that afternoon, he couldn’t find his hat before leaving for work. Well, except for the Santa hat, and he wasn’t about to waltz into the store already wearing the Santa hat unless he had to. It was strange because he always kept it in the same place, and it had never gone missing before unless one of his siblings had taken it. He looked around for it up until the very last minute, before he knew he had to go or risk being late.
The Santa hat it was, apparently. He had to wear it anyway, so a few extra moments of him wearing it while walking from his car to the store wasn’t the end of the world, or so he hoped.
When he entered the store, wearing the Santa hat, the last thing he expected was for every other employee to not be wearing one. He stood there for a moment, confused. Didn’t Tomura say that corporate was requiring all employees to wear the damn hats?
“Nice hat, Touya,” Himiko said, suppressing a giggle. Shuuichi and Magne were also trying and failing to keep straight faces. He glanced around the store, and even though it was normally vacant this time of day, it happened to be filled with customers. Just his luck.
“That’s a real look,” Tomura called all the way from the back room.
Touya ripped the hat off and stomped his way to the back, ready to have a stern conversation with his boss. “What the fuck is going on here?” he asked Tomura, throwing the hat at him.
“What do you mean?” he replied, not looking up from his laptop.
“I mean, why isn’t anyone wearing a Santa hat today like they were yesterday? Didn’t you say we all had to wear them? Why was I the only one who showed up with it?”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say. You were the one who decided to look like an idiot by wearing a Santa hat to work. And now you’re trying to blame me?”
“Asshole,” Touya finally said under his breath, picking the hat up from the floor and hitting Tomura with it before shoving it in his pocket.
-
Fuyumi came in a few hours later to drop off Shouto for his evening shift. And she was wearing his winter hat. “Fuyumi!” he called over to her as she entered the store with their little brother. “Why are you wearing my hat?”
“Oh, sorry,” she said, approaching the counter to talk to him. “Couldn’t find mine this morning and I figured you wouldn’t mind since you have your Santa hat.”
“Bullshit,” he mumbled under his breath. “Was this some trick to get me to wear the Santa hat? You and Shouto obviously knew about the prank since Shouto isn’t wearing his hat right now.”
“Okay, you found me out,” she said, sighing and taking the hat off and throwing it to him across the counter.
“I don’t want this,” he grumbled, throwing the hat back. “Take it. I’ve already made a fucking fool of myself.”
“Sorry, Touya,” she said with a small smile. “Tomura roped me into it.”
“You may be my twin sister which means I’ll always love you,” he said, glaring at her, “but I promise I won’t always like you. Now is one of those times.”
“I love you too, Touya.”
He expected her to head out after that but instead, she not only stayed and ordered a sandwich, but she decided to dine in. This strange behavior made a little bit more sense when Touya noticed that she was sitting with someone at one of the tables, having a hushed and slightly frantic conversation.
Normally, he wouldn’t listen in, but after catching the phrase, “Santa hat,” he couldn’t help himself. Yesterday and today had been strange enough. There had to be something going on here. He moved to the end of the line, hiding behind the rack of hot sauces so as not to draw their attention. As he got closer, he recognized the other person at the table as Keigo’s friend, Rumi. That only made things more suspicious.
“Do you know if it it worked?” Rumi said quietly, just barely loud enough for Touya to hear.
“I’m trying to figure out a way to ask him about it, but I don’t know,” she replied.
“Well, at the very least, that was some nice coordination with Tomura and the rest of the staff. It looks like things should fall into place now. Let’s just pray it did.” What in the world were they talking about? Did this have to do with the Santa hat prank that Tomura pulled on them? But why would Rumi care about that?
There was silence for an awkward moment. Then Rumi piped up, “Touya? Are you hiding behind the hot sauces?”
“No,” he said, standing up and peering at them through the hot sauce rack. He wasn’t about to interrogate Fuyumi in front of Keigo’s friend, since he guessed all this might have to do with Keigo, so he figured he’d just weasel the truth out of her later.
-
“So what I’m hearing, and I’m begging you to correct me if I’m wrong,” Touya began later that evening back at home after a full fifteen minutes of trying to get information from Fuyumi, “is that you coordinated with my boss to have everyone wear Santa hats for a day as a prank, and then had a friend of Keigo’s who is also your friend take him on a mall scavenger hunt where one of the requirements was to take a selfie with a worker wearing a Santa hat?” He shoved his face into his hands.
“And because all of us were wearing Santa hats,” he continued, “His mission was changed so he had to pick the ‘cutest’ worker with a Santa hat and take a selfie with them?”
“Well, yeah,” Fuyumi replied with a laugh.
“And this is some elaborate plan to set me up with the Keigo? Really, Yumi? Really?” He could understand his staff pranking him, but his own sister had to be in on the joke too?
“Okay, to be fair, most of the plan was Rumi’s. I just had to convince Tomura to make you guys wear the hats for a day.”
“Still, out of all the ways to set me up with someone, and you guys go with this extremely convoluted plan? One that involved me looking like a fucking fool with a goddamn Santa hat on?”
“Hey don’t complain. You got his number, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I did. Also got me a date, I suppose,” he said, forgetting that he had neglected to mention this to her.
Fuyumi nearly leapt out of her chair, cheering. “A date? So this actually worked? I’ve gotta go tell Rumi!”