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“O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You fill my heart with music.
Reminding me on Christmas Day
To think of you and then be gay.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You fill my heart with music!”
The group finished its last verse to a soft round of applause. A chorus of “merry Christmas!” and “have a nice night!” rang out as the door closed and they slowly dispersed into the night, heading back to wherever they managed to park.
Adora traipsed carefully down the sidewalk, clear but with just enough dampness to make for timid steps across the semi-slick surface. She pulled her scarf a little more tightly round her neck, thanking past her for not forgetting it this year.
She absolutely still blamed that cold she got last year on it. Come to think of it, she’d also totally slipped and nearly bruised her tailbone last year too. And got hit in the head by a stray snowball. And ran into a freezing cold pole…
Okay, last year’s session kind of sucked.
Maybe some people would’ve called it quits after an incident like that. Picked a more indoors holiday tradition, maybe.
But, Adora still loved caroling. And this year was fantastic! Calm, relaxing, tons of fun. She really got into the spirit of things.
It was almost perfect.
Almost.
Except for…
Ugh, she promised herself she wasn’t going to think about it. She promised.
But nevertheless, in the vacant silence of the sleepy neighborhood, her thoughts drifted to Catra.
It had been…what, four months? More than enough time to get over it, really. It’s not like it was even on bad terms. Quite amicable. Easy enough to let it go. And she had, honestly. She was fine.
Truly.
Adora sighed to herself.
“Liar,” she whispered. “I’m a damn liar.”
She was not over it.
The initial breakup was as okay as she could expect. There was no ill-will; Catra even said specifically that they should stay friends. But Adora…
It was too much for her to handle. Talking to her. Seeing her. It hurt. So she didn’t. She downright ignored her, even when Catra made a few feeble attempts to reach out.
Adora thought it was for the best.
But the loneliness…
Halloween was bearable only because she had Glimmer with her. Thanksgiving was lonely and strange, without a doubt.
But, if she was being honest, the entire month of December had been the roughest part.
It was the first one since she was little she hadn’t spent with Catra by her side. And, yeah…it was really, really lonely. Seasonal depression hit her like a double-decker bus.
Adora managed up through now through activities, getting involved in the community. She actually had a blast volunteering on the weekends and going to a few festive events throughout town. But now, with the reality of spending tomorrow, Christmas Day, alone for the first time in years…
Well. It was hard to not put a little bit of a damper on her mood.
Finally having her car in her sights, she gratefully clicked the key to unlock it, opening the door and sliding into the driver’s side. The immediate reprieve from the wind was a relief, but the air inside was still freezing.
Adora slid the key in the ignition and turned.
Why…why is there no sound?
She tried revving the engine again. A tiny sputter was all she got in return.
“Oh. No. Oh no. No, no, no.” She gripped her head in her hands. “This is not happening.”
After a few more desperate attempts, she finally accepted the fact of the matter: something was wrong.
Adora slammed her fist on the side of the wheel. “Dammit…okay, breathe. Think.”
Not out of gas…so…it’s the battery. Probably froze up.
She let out a frustrated sound, somewhere between a groan and a whimper.
“What am I gonna do?”
She couldn’t afford to call a tow truck. She didn’t have any jumper cables. Everyone in the neighborhood seemed to already be asleep, and what were the odds that they were able and willing to help her anyway? And there was no way in hell she could just sleep in the car. Too cold, she’d freeze – if she got any sleep at all.
She looked out the windshield, catching a glimpse of the street sign on the corner.
Intersection of Woodland Court and Halfmoon Drive.
Adora’s eyes widened. “Halfmoon…”
Catra.
She didn’t even realize how close this was to where she lived. 2810 Halfmoon Drive.
It wasn’t very far from here.
Not far at all.
I hope she’s still up…hope she doesn’t just kick me out.
Drawing her layers tighter around her, she steeled herself as she stepped out into the night once more and began the trek down the road. To Catra’s.
Sooner than later, much to Adora’s delight, the façade of the small house came into view. No lights on inside, but that wasn’t unlike Catra even when she was awake. She rushed up to the door, knocking quickly despite her shaking hands.
A few moments passed. No answer.
Adora knocked again. “Catra?” More silence. “Catra, it’s me. Adora. Please open up.”
The sound of a quiet curse followed by the door opening revealed a very tired-looking Catra.
“The hell are you doing here?” she hissed. Upon seeing Adora shivering there, face red and nose running from the chill, she grabbed her arm and pulled her inside. “Get in, you moron. You look like a mess.”
Adora sighed in relief as Catra closed the door. The heat inside, cranked up high, was already bringing some much-needed relief to her stinging cold cheeks and nose.
“Thanks.”
“Do not thank me.” Catra leaned against the door, crossing her arms and giving her a hard look. “You ghost me for four months then show up unannounced at almost midnight on Christmas Eve, looking like you just waded through a blizzard? What the hell is going on, Adora?”
Adora couldn’t quite meet her gaze. “Look, I know, I…I was nearby, and my car broke down, and I’m really broke right now, and-”
Catra held up a hand to silence her. “You know what? Spare me the details. You want a place to sleep, that it?”
“If you could just jump start me, I’ll be out of your way.”
“I am not leaving the house right now.” Catra scratched the back of her head. “You can crash on the couch, it’s fine.”
Adora gave her a grateful look. “…Thank you.”
Catra jerked her thumb toward the bathroom door. “Go clean yourself up. I’ll bring you something to sleep in.”
Adora nodded and made for the bathroom.
No use arguing. Catra was many things, both wonderful and not, and stubborn ranked itself high on both lists.
Adora peeled off her scarf and gloves, grabbed a tissue, and mopped up the mess on her face. She turned the faucet on and gave her face a good splash of warm water, drying it on a nearby towel.
Catra slipped in and set some clothes on the counter beside her. “Here.”
“Thanks.”
Adora slipped off her jacket. Catra didn’t budge from her spot.
“Uh, Catra? I need to change.”
“Nothing I haven’t seen already.”
“Catra.”
Catra sighed and turned her back on Adora. She seemed adamant to stay nearby though. Adora sighed and began to undress.
“Hey, Adora.”
“…Yeah?”
“Why didn’t you ever call me back? Or even text?” She shifted her weight almost awkwardly. “I thought we were going to try and be cool about this.”
Adora paused. “I was going to. I wanted to.”
“But?”
It was too hard to hear you. To talk to you.
“Adora?”
No use. The words wouldn’t come out.
Catra huffed. “Look, if you wanted to just forget about me, just say it. You don’t have to lie and try to make me feel better.”
“I’m not lying! Honest!”
“Bull.”
“Look, I just…I didn’t know how to deal with it.” Adora pulled the sweatshirt over her head, fully dressed once more. “I’m decent.”
Catra glanced back over her shoulder. “You didn’t know how to ‘deal’ with it?”
“Yeah.” Adora looked at her briefly before looking down at the ground. “I, uh. Yeah.”
“You wanna elaborate on that?”
Adora laughed awkwardly and slid past Catra out to the living room, taking a seat on the couch and pulling the throw blanket over her shoulders.
I shouldn’t have said anything, I shouldn’t have said anything, I shouldn’t have-
“Adora? Hey, everything okay?” Catra climbed over the back of the couch and crouched beside her. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
“Yeah. I know.”
Catra raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re being really weird.”
Adora pulled the blanket up over her chin. “I’m not.”
“Look at yourself and tell me you’re not being weird, Adora.” Catra sighed. “Look, I get it if you were mad at me. I’m not gonna judge you. Really.”
“I’m not mad. Just…”
Catra gave her a long, hard look. “Do you…still have feelings?”
“I know, okay? I know I shouldn’t.” Adora closed her eyes. “We both knew it wasn’t working, and we were both just getting upset, and I should be over it-”
She was cut off by Catra’s hands on her cheeks, and her lips over hers – soft, sweet, warm, just like she remembered. Before Adora could respond, Catra pulled away, lips still almost touching.
“God, breaking up was the biggest mistake,” she whispered breathlessly. “Dammit Adora, I missed you. Been goddamn miserable without you. Almost drove to your house once I got so lonely.”
Almost? You should’ve!
“Crap, sorry, that’s probably weird, I’m sorr-”
Adora pulled her into a tight hug. “…I missed you too.”
Catra’s hands found their resting spot between Adora’s shoulders, gently scratching at the skin there, head burying itself in the crook of her neck.
“I’m not saying I’m glad your car broke down, but…I’m glad your car broke down.”
Adora laughed softly. “I’m not. But I am glad to be here.”
She had to strain her ears a bit, but she could just barely make out Catra mumbling, “I didn’t want to be alone tomorrow.”
“Me neither.” She squeezed onto Catra a little tighter. “Do you have plans?”
“Uh-uh. None at all.”
“Is it too presumptuous to ask for you to spend it with me?”
“Well you’d better. You didn’t get me a present, after all.”
“Ha. Sorry.”
“Mm, that’s alright. I think you’re a pretty good present all on your own. C’mon, let’s go to bed. In the actual bed. You know this couch is total garbage.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
Catra stood and pulled Adora to her feet after her. “Late, anyway. Already past midnight. Although I guess we’d stay up way later than that normally, huh?” Catra smirked a little. “But let’s actually sleep for now.”
Adora couldn’t help the giant smile that slipped onto her face as she pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“Merry Christmas, Catra.”
“Heh, tell me that in the morning, dork. But…you still look really cute in my sweatshirt.”
“Now who’s being the dork?”
“Still you.”
“You love me though.”
“Ha. Yeah. I do.”
“You admit it!”
“Don’t push it, princess.”
“Aw. Love you too, Catra.”