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Everyone at the Lagoon knew who Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were, and more especially who their sister was. Not because they ever saw the lady in question, but because of the fists they’d eat if they spoke one word wrong about her. Even if the two weren’t present, they would know about it. They would hunt the bad apples down and put the fear of god in them. Mark these words.
That day did not involve Jiang Yanli though. Instead, it involved a poorly-placed bet by one of the pompous assholes of the Jin family. Everyone - even rocks - knew that the Jiang extended family lived by the lake outside the city, and that all the Jiang youths, no matter the sex or age, were rascals who grew up in the wild. Of course they did crazy things such as having traditional swims in the icy waters of the lake in the middle of winter! Even the benevolent current head of the family, Jiang Fengmian, had followed the mind-boggling tradition in his youth, and there were rumors that he still indulged in a few icy dips along the rest of the senior locals.
What person in their right mind would challenge any man in the prime of his youth to such a bet?
Jin Zixun would, that brainless asshole.
Wei Wuxian would have been perfectly content in having won the bet and then winning the impromptu drinking challenge at the pub, watching Jin Zixun sway after his third shot like a kid. The buzzing of winning, the warm hand of his brother on his shoulder, patting it proudly, the sound of merry-making all around them, the tingling burn of the alcohol down his throat -- Wei Wuxian was absolutely content, even when Jin Zixun started going slightly delirious with humiliation and started spewing bullshit.
“-some kind of trick, you cheating bastards.”
“Oh drop it already! Get your lackeys to call you a cab and go fuck yourself before I break your legs!” warned Jiang Cheng, whose words were not spurned by alcohol or resentment even if he had the second best time in the icy water, well behind his adopted brother, but simply because that was Jiang Cheng’s splendid personality shining through. Unfortunately, two of the aforementioned lackeys weren’t well-acquainted with Jiang Cheng’s bright personality (that, or they purposefully rose at the bait, Wei Wuxian would think later), and so in a matter of seconds many inebriated young men and women started shouting in accusation or defence of perceived cheats.
Wei Wuxian, who abandoned the shots once his opponent had abandoned balance and ordered one of his favorite drinks, groaned in protest to the escalating decibel level. He had steeped himself in icy water, not just icy cold water, but water with actual chunks of floating ice on it while listening to some asshole try to rile him up the whole time. Then when he’d started drinking he had been coaxed into a drinking game, which was now dangerously close to a fist-fight. Wei Wuxian was done. He had only wanted to spend a quiet winter Sunday sprawled in a pub with his brother, not nursing a headache with his body confused between the heat of his clothes and the memories of the ice.
Groaning in exasperation he took the two-hundred dollars out of his wallet, slammed them on the counter and slid them towards Jin Zixun’s dickface.
“I don’t care about the stupid bet anymore. You flew in blind anyway so I feel like I robbed a kid of their pocket money. Just take it and get the fuck out. Everyone here saw you lose face in a spectacular way today anyway!” Wei Wuxian finished with a chuckle, prompting the laughter of the many YunmengJiang youths and friends. This obviously did not sit well with Jin Zixun and company.
“You don’t talk to me in that way you fucking cheating faggot! The Jiangs should have never brought you in. You’re a fucking disgrace to their family and business!”
Wei Wuxian belatedly realized that he should have led Jiang Cheng to a different pub the moment Jin Zixun&Co walked in. Thanks to his training he saw Jiang Cheng’s arm movement as if in slow motion, the tension of the muscles underneath the jumper, the ripple of the clavicle under the fabric. At the same time Jiang Cheng swung his fist to re-arrange Jin Zixun’s face, Wei Wuxian swung his. Only that, no matter all the self-defence lessons Jiang Cheng undertook, Wei Wuxian had professional training and military training on him. Wei Wuxian swung his fist faster. When Jiang Cheng’s fist was halfway to its destination, Wei Wuxian’s had already reached it. Jin Zixun went down in less than a blink. Next, lackey number one swung, Wei Wuxian responded in kind, and lackey number one went down. Lackey number two had swung almost simultaneously as his mate so Wei Wuxian had to elbow Jiang Cheng, who valiantly tried to get in on the fun, out of the way, and take the hit first before he could retaliate. Lackey number two went down. At this point, the audience had regained their wits enough to join in and it developed in an all Jins vs Jiangs extravaganza.
By the time sirens were heard outside, Wei Wuxian had collected a fair number of hits while Jiang Cheng’s skin was as immaculate as the moment he’d walked in. This was an absolute win in Wei Wuxian’s book. Keeping Jiang Cheng out of an all-for-all barfight had been a headache and a half on top of his own, and Wei Wuxian lost count of how many times he’d wanted to smack his brother for not collaborating. He was shaking from body temperature whiplash and adrenaline; he had a massive headache, probably a few bruises in the making and a blossoming shiner, but when he saw the Two Jades of the Gusu Precinct walk through the door a smile broke out of his face, unbidden and natural.
“Lan Zhan!”
As any other time the two of them found themselves in a similar situation, Lan Wangji working and someone calling the authorities on Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan walked directly up to him with an unimpressed glare, which prompted a pavlovian ramble.
“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan! Hi! How are you? So strange to see you here, almost all the way to Yunmeng! Did you answer this call because of me? Did you want to see me that badly? You did, didn’t you? You just can’t resist the urge to handcuff me, admit it!”
“Oh for the love of-“ grumbled Jiang Cheng predictably, but Wei Wuxian didn’t give a shit about anything else anymore. Two Gusu officers and the two Jades of GusuLan had arrived. By then, everyone had quieted down or ran away, Wei Wuxian's focus had zoned in on one person. The object of his pathetically huge crush was there, in the flesh, tightly hugged by the mourning-black uniform and leathery accessories, all poised stance, golden eyes and smouldering gaze. Wei Wuxian pushed Jiang Cheng out of the way without letting his eyes stray one millimetre from Lan Wangji’s. After all, Lan Wangi’s expressions were a blink-and-miss phenomenon and Wei Wuxian would let his eyeballs go as dry as a desert for the smallest hint of Lan Zhan's thoughts.
Babbling all the way, Wei Wuxian went through the drill of being cuffed, escorted to the back of a police car, and driven away. If this situation had happened (and it did happen) seven years before, before Wei Wuxian’s military tour and return, the noble and righteous Hanguang-Jun would have driven him to the Precinct. But in line with the man’s strangely different behaviour towards Wei Wuxian since his return, the car proceeded at full sirens to the hospital.
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“I swear on my favourite scalpel, I’ll give you another shiner if you don’t stop!”
“Aren’t you a doctor? Aren’t you supposed to be a pacifist? This is patient abuse!”
“If you don't stop squirming I’ll show you pacifism!”
“I don’t need gauzes anyway! Just slap a band-aid on it!”
“Detective-“
“Wen Qing, no!”
“Detective Lan!”
“Wen Qing you trai- Ah, hey, Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian did his best to straighten up and appear less patched up than he was.“The good doctor said we’re done, we can go to-“
“Sit.”
Wei Wuxian shivered under the commanding gaze and voice, willing himself not to pop a boner on the goddamn hospital bed. Did Lan Zhan have to stand right in front of him? With that goddamn uniform that he didn’t have to wear anymore but was too goddamn old school not to, with that goddamn fiery gaze and impassive face? Did Lan Zhan have to be so damn hot all the time? Did he ever get tired? Wei Wuxian would love to do his best to make Lan Zhan lose that cool exterior, preferably in bed.
Preferably not in a hospital bed, he amended as he felt Wen Qing’s skilful hands applying gauze after gauze on his battered torso and shoulders. An ex-army doctor herself, his dear friend slapped a gauze on him faster than Wei Wuxian had expected. But it wasn’t the pain that had made him whine and shake his head; Wei Wuxian's stamina was no joke. He knew he could probably have his belly cut open and be able to continue to fight (in his military days he came dangerously close to doing just that), but it was Lan Zhan’s attitude towards his injuries that made Wei Wuxian reticent to admit the truth.
In normal conditions, Wei Wuxian was sure of the status of his affection. It was safely in the territory of ‘unrequited crush.’ However, when he got injured in any way, which, considering Wei Wuxian’s position as the bodyguard of the heir of the Jiang’s Group, happened fairly often, Lan Zhan’s attitude towards him was incredibly confusing. Knowing about his pitiful crush, Wen Qing, the traitor, said something about intractable patients and work, and left to Lan Zhan the task of wrapping the last ring of bandages...
...which was how Wei Wuxian ended up sitting on a hospital bed, half naked, with Lan Zhan’s silent figure in-between his legs and his cool fingers on his skin.
The hospital lights were too bright for Wei Wuxian’s headache, but Lan Zhan’s signature sandalwood was doing wonders to calm him down from his adrenaline high.
The stoically averse-to-human-contact detective then helped him pull on his shirt and jumper back, and led him outside with a hand firmly bracing his right forearm. In the parking lot of the hospital, he diligently helped Wei Wuxian avoid bumping his head against the police car’s roof before driving off.
“Lan Zhan… You’re not driving me home, are you?”
“…”
“Lan Zhan! The paperwork! Your Uncle will scold you. I don’t want that - you know I don’t want that. Come on, be a good boy and drive me to the Precinct so you can get my testimony down. A-Yuan or Jingyi can drive me back.”
“...”
“Lan Zhan, come on. You need the testimony,” whined Wei Wuxian weakly. The lights of the evening traffic were doing nothing good for his headache.
“Place and date.”
Wei Wuxian was still zoning out, thus needed repetition.
“Place and date."
“Ah, err… Lagoon pub. 4, Black lotus road?”
“Time.”
“Mmmh, five…ish?”
“Cause of altercation.”
“Jin Zixun being his usual asshole self.”
“Signature.”
Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but laugh. “Ouch, Lan Zhan. Stop being so funny, I’m injured you know?” They spent the rest of the short trip silent and chuckling, respectively.
By the short time they took to arrive at Wei Wuxian’s apartment complex in Yiling, Wei Wuxian’s adrenaline high had completely worn off and his body was wracked by a headache and sores seemingly everywhere. When he stumbled out of the police car, Wei Wuxian’s world tilted dangerously for a moment. Well, my feelings are hopeless already, he thought, might as well faceplant myself on the asphalt in front of Lan Zhan too. But he did not make contact with the unforgiving ground. Lan Zhan’s arm caught him by his chest, and careful not to press on his bruises, tilted Wei Wuxian back on his chest and hoisted his legs up. He’s not carrying me in a princess carry, thought Wei Wuxian. If I don’t open my eyes it’s not happening.
And so he did. He made himself comfortable against Lan Zhan’s chest and steady heartbeat, inhaled that good sandalwood smell, and went in and out of consciousness as they bypassed the reception, took the lift all the way to his attic, until he was realigned with the earth just in time to open his apartment door.
“Thank you Lan Zhan,” he mumbled, trying to make his way inside on his own, but Lan Zhan was having none of that and Wei Wuxian felt a warm arm snake around his back, and a hand grip his forearm firmly as he stumbled forward. He was accompanied to a seating position, and by the texture and hardness of the cushion he realized it was his favourite armchair. He groaned in appreciation. He didn’t like being in bed outside of his usual sleeping time, especially this new bed which had too soft a mattress, but was Shijie’s gift and thus immune to criticism.
Did Lan Zhan know about this? No, he couldn’t. He probably mentioned it once, while he babbled half drunk to a disinterested Hanguang-Jun. The good detective was probably too proper to enter Wei Wuxian’s bedroom without permission, even though Wei Wuxian insisted, time and again, that they were good friends.
He heard the sink running in the kitchen, a soft voice, the familiar tick of his thermostat by the door, and the sound of a plastic lid being popped open, somewhere in front of him. He opened his eyes slowly, ready to be assaulted by the bright neons of his home, only to see Lan Zhan’s dark silhouette, curved towards him. Wei Wuxian looked behind the detective. Only the kitchen’s lower light was on. He groaned, tipping his head this way and that.
Fuck, this man was going to be the death of him.
“Where does it hurt?” whispered Lan Zhan, shifting forward a bit.
Wei Wuxian looked into those earnest golden eyes and slightly furrowed eyebrows before groaning again.
“My heart. My heart hurts. Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji, Hanguang-Jun. You’re so good, too good, why are you so good to me?”
Lan Zhan didn’t offer explanations, as usual, but nudged a glass in his hand.
“Drink.”
“… Lan Zhan, it’s not medicine, right?”
“Drink.”
“I don’t need medicine, it’s just a stupid headache,” he whined.
“Doctor’s orders.”
“Ughhh, but Wen Qing isn’t here now. Who cares?”
Lan Zhan predictably didn’t deign his whining of an answer and picked something off of the coffee table. It looked like a wet handkerchief. Where did Lan Zhan even find a handkerchief in Wei Wuxian’s home? To his memory, he didn’t have any. Lan Zhan, though, old-fashioned as he was, always carried a couple.
Groaning at the unfairness of the situation for his poor heart, Wei Wuxian drank, wincing at the taste and fantasizing about protesting more. If he hadn’t drank his medicine, what would have Lan Zhan said or done? Would he say “My orders” in that sultry voice of his? Or maybe... would he be bolder and force-feed Wei Wuxian mouth-to-mouth?
Woah, just how much did Lan Zhan raise the thermostat? Couldn’t Lan Zhan feel the heat?
Wei Wuxian's thoughts were rudely interrupted by the door-bell, which Lan Zhan responded so quickly it gave Wei Wuxian vertigo. The hallway light was too bright for him, but his nose worked perfectly and he groaned in appreciation when he smelled the food.
“You must eat before you go to sleep,” said the detective, leaving the containers on the table and picking up the handkerchief again.
Wei Wuxian watched, dazed, as Lan Zhan plucked the empty glass from his hand, placed the soothingly cold fabric against his forehead, sat on the handle of the armchair and prodded at his temples gently before tipping his fingertips into the delicate skin, rubbing in soothing circle motions. Wei Wuxian did not whimper. He did not. He let out a perfectly manly and dignified appreciative sound.
“You should go back to work,” mumbled Wei Wuxian, summoning up the last dredges of his sense of duty against his overwhelming sense of bliss.
“Mh.”
After a few more circling rubs, Lan Zhan retracted his fingers and Wei Wuxian fought the feeling of bereft and abandonment he felt when he saw the quiet get up.
“Are you warm enough? Comfortable?” asked Lan Zhan, replenishing the glass of water, setting it on the desk and picking up his jacket from the adjacent sofa.
Wei Wuxian let out an assertive moan, not caring a single bit about whether he was warm or cold or uncomfortable, his thoughts focused on one thing.
“Are you coming back later?”
That halted Lan Zhan’s movements in their tracks, leaving Wei Wuxian to admire the other’s man side as he’d raised his arm to slip it into his jacket’s sleeve. Panicking a little, Wei Wuxian rambled on.
“Come on, please? You bought so much food, let’s share it. If you don’t want my leftovers I can make you something, I’ll be fine in a few minutes, I can cook you anything you want. I promise it will all be bland, tasteless and boring, just like how you like it. We can put on something to watch. Or not. Whatever you want. Pretty please? What if the medicine doesn’t work and I try to take a shower and bang my head and die? You need to check up-“
“Do not joke about dying.”
Lan Zhan’s voice was not raised in volume but his tone was stony; it didn’t admit any retorts. Wei Wuxian suddenly remembered a scar on his abdomen, where shrapnel pierced his body, dangerously close to his heart. He remembered the cattle brand searing his skin closed.
“Sorry, sorry. I’m dumb, Lan Zhan, don’t listen to me. Why do you ever listen to me? You’re the only who does. You and Shijie, but she’s excused because she’s family - she has to put up with me,” said Wei Wuxian, inwardly sighing in relief as he saw Lan Zhan’s tense figure relax back and put on his jacket properly.
“My shift ends in 3 hours. No need to ask.” Which was Hanguang-Jun for ‘of course I’m going to check up on your sorry ass and I need to sacrifice my evening for that, no thanks to you.’
“I will cook up a feast for you, Hanguang-Jun!”
“No need. Rest.”
“I will! I'll cook so much you'll have leftovers for days!”
Wei Wuxian watched Lan Zhan’s measured steps as he walked towards the door. As he opened it, Wei Wuxian’s breath was stuck in his throat, the phantom touch of Lan Zhan’s fingertips against his temples still sending tingles down his spine. Lan Zhan cut a majestic silhouette against the hallway light. Slim yet muscular, back straight, dressed impeccably, old-fashioned long hair neatly gathered in a ponytail, nothing like Wei Wuxian’s messy appearance. And was that a red string? Did Lan Zhan tie his hair with that silly girly red string Wei Wuxian jokingly bought for him at the Mid-Autumn festival?
“Lan Zhan!” called Wei Wuxian suddenly, instinctively, surprising even himself.
The other man turned partly, golden eyes twinkling in the too bright lights. Wei Wuxian was at a loss for words, something that happened only in Lan Zhan’s presence. As usual, he let himself blurt out the first thing that came to mind.
“You didn’t call me today.”
For a second, Wei Wuxian thought that he saw Lan Zhan sporting an incredulous expression, but he blinked and Lan Zhan’s face was back to its impassive normalcy.
“Wei Ying.” The words resonated in the dark apartment like a promise. Wei Wuxian smiled through the ache.
“Mmh. Yes I’m here~ Go and come back safely, Lan Zhan!”
“En.”
Wei Wuxian sighed in relief and watched the door. He shifted back on the armchair, adjusted the wet handkerchief on his forehead and closed his eyes for a quick power nap. The night was young still. There would be bland vegetable stew, tea and snacks and gossip and laughter later on.
But for now, he closed his eyes and rested.
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