Chapter Text
It’s moving day at the Faeth-O’Shaugnessy house, and Arthur Aguefort never shows up. There is no sixty-percent grade, no strange promises of creatures, and the worst thing that happens is Riz getting trapped in Fig’s bubble room for an hour before Gorgug notices and nearly smashes the piano trying to get him out. By late afternoon, Fabian is attempting to teach Adaine and Fig to swordfight (poorly), Kristen and Tracker have snuck off long ago, and Riz and Gorgug are idly chatting in the shade of a half-dead tree nearby the sword-fighting. It’s only when Fig accidentally stabs the wall of the house trying to copy a particularly complex maneuver Fabian showed her and Sandra Lynn walks in on Kristen and Tracker that Fig’s mother storms out into the lawn and yells, “I am not doing this all spring break! You’re welcome at my house, of course, but you have to find something to occupy yourselves with or you’re going to drive me up the wall.”
Fig tries unsuccessfully to pull the shortsword she’d been using out of the wall and grins sheepishly at her mom. “Sorry?”
Sandra Lynn pinches the bridge of her nose and says, “Figueroth, we just bought this house.”
“This was here before,” she says, blase as can be, and her mom just throws her hands up in the air and walks back inside.
“She has a point, though,” Fabian muses, “I’m already bored.”
Adaine shuts her spellbook and rolls her eyes. “Go for a vacation, then. The borders are back open, and you’re rich enough to go fuck off for two weeks.”
“That’s a great idea!” Kristen appears in the doorway to Mordred Manor, visibly disheveled, Tracker at her side. “We should all go on vacation!”
“Together?” Fabian asks, disbelief edging at this tone, at the same time Fig matches Kristen’s enthusiasm and cries, “Ohmygosh, together!”
“Like a road trip!”
“Oh my god , like a road trip !” Fabian mocks, pitching his voice higher before doubling over and retching as he catches a Ray of Sickness to the back from Adaine. “Alright, alright, I get it, I’m sorry .”
Fig laughs and continues. “You fuckin’ earned that, dude. We could like, take the tour bus? I don’t know if we wanna try and travel in the bus that has mine and Gorgug’s faces on it across international borders, though. And as fun as it would be to try and ride the Hangman together…”
Fabian shakes his head violently, still trying to ride out the last of Adaine’s spell. Fig just snickers.
Gorgug frowns, looking deep in thought. “I have a van.” He pauses, considering. “Well, I don’t have a van, but my parents have a van. I could probably ask them for the van.”
Adaine glances up from where she’s casting Grease on the sword to attempt to get it unstuck and asks, “You’re not seriously considering going on a road trip, are you?”
“Well, duh ,” Kristen says, grinning broadly. “What, you don’t wanna hang out with your friends?”
Adaine still looks skeptical, and she seems like she’s about to object when Fig grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her vigorously. “Adaine. Look at me. I know you hate doing fun things--”
“I do not. ”
“--but this will be so good for us! We can take Gorgug’s parents' van and go to like, Bastian City and you guys can watch me perform and stuff!”
“I think it’ll be fun,” Riz says, the fifth and final vote on the matter. “We should go.”
Gorgug nods along with him. “Could bring some friends along, too. Van’s pretty big. Probably has room for--”
“Nine people?” Kristen cuts in, still grinning. “Like, six Bad Kids and three partners?”
“Your math is shit, Kristen,” Fabian calls over, having gone back to where Fig and Adaine are fruitlessly trying to get the sword out of the wall. “We have six of us and two girlfriends. That’s eight.”
Fig whacks him on the shoulder disapprovingly as Gorgug goes red and Kristen frowns. “Dude. Not cool.”
“What do you mean , not cool?”
“That’s super homophobic,” Kristen reprimands. “Just fully not acknowledging someone’s relationship like that.”
Fabian throws up his hands in exasperation. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about! Kristen has a girlfriend and Gorgug has a girlfriend! Whose relationship am I not acknowledging?”
“Gorgug’s!”
“ I just fucking said Gorgug-- ”
The half-orc in question clears his throat slightly, and when Fabian and Kristen don’t stop arguing, he clears it louder. “Kristen. It’s, um, fine. I don’t think… I only told Fig. And you. Cause Fig was on the bus with me and you were the one that I called. About it.”
She relaxes, back to her usual bubbly grin in an instant. “Oh! Well, I’m sorry for assuming. I mean, I just figured--he told me and Torek, like, immediately.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Adaine says, not sounding sorry in the slightest, “but would one of you three mind clarifying what in the hell you’re all talking about?”
Fig and Kristen turn expectantly to Gorgug, who bows his head sheepishly and mumbles something. The rest of the group can’t hear him, but Riz’s eyes go wide, a bit before he coughs and says, “Congratulations, Gorgug. Good for you.”
Kristen looks at him sympathetically and asks, “Do you want me to tell them?”
“Is Gorgug fucking dying?” Fabian crosses his arms. “Because I cannot fathom--”
“I’m bisexual,” he says, loud enough for Adaine and Fabian to hear this time. “And I’m, uh. Dating Ragh. I guess. And Zelda. Both of them.”
“Oh!” Adaine’s face breaks out into a smile. “That’s great, Gorgug. Thank you for telling us.”
Fabian, on the other hand, pouts, keeping his arms folded across his chest. “I--well, of course, that’s great, Gorgug, happy for both of my boys --but why were you being so mean to me--”
Fig finally gets the sword out of the wall right at that moment and holds it above her head triumphantly, whooping. “That’s a motherfuckin’ sign, everyone!” she shouts. “Mom! We’re going on a road trip!”
(Sandra Lynn has a headache for the rest of the day, and Jawbone decides that there will be no more sword-fighting or sleeping underneath pianos at the Manor. And hopefully less screaming.)
Reluctantly, Fig sleeps in the living room that night since her piano privileges have been revoked, while Riz, Gorgug, and Fabian head out to make it back home before they gather again tomorrow for the start of the road trip. Despite the Hangman’s many protests, Fabian offers Riz a ride home and he accepts, grateful he wouldn’t have to try and walk to the office.
Riz gives Fabian directions to his office, and as he pulls up in front of the building Fabian looks at Riz strangely. “You’re not going home?’ he asks, and Riz shakes his head.
“Nah. My mom’s working all night, and I just…” He shrugs. “I dunno. It’s fine. I promise I’ll get up in time.”
“Alright…” Fabian says slowly, then waves goodbye to Riz as he gets off the bike. “Don’t get kidnapped or anything.”
Riz laughs and waves. “Yeah. I promise. Night, Fabian.”
“Night, Riz.” He offers a slight wave of his own and waits until Riz has shut the front door of the office building behind him before heading back to his house. He smiles a little to himself and his heart squeezes, a sensation that he’s felt before but is never really sure what to do with.
Sire, the Hangman rumbles as they round the last corner before Seacaster Manor, if I have perhaps misjudged your interest in certain activities in the past… I do apologize.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Hangman?” Fabian mumbles, pulling into the garage and making sure to rev his engine as much as possible to maybe (hopefully) kill Gilear just via smoke inhalation.
Nothing, sire.
*
Riz wakes up the next morning to his mom slamming a cup of coffee down on his desk. “Wake up, sweetheart. Fig’s been texting me for ten minutes trying to make sure you weren’t kidnapped. She’s very worried about you missing your road trip.”
He lifts his head, blinking sleepily. “Mprh?”
“Riz, honey,” Sklonda says, laughing, “Come on, get up. Check your phone, I’m sure you’ve got seven thousand missed calls from Fabian .”
Riz bristles at the singsongy way she says his name. “Mom.”
“Yeah, sweetie?”
“Why’re you talking like that?’” he asks as he fumbles around on the ground for his Briefcase of Holding.
Sklonda laughs again and pats her son on the back. “C’mon, Riz. I’m sure there are mysteries to solve somewhere out there. Besides, I got a call from Sandra Lynn and she already checked with me to make sure I could give you up for the whole spring break.”
“I don’ wanna go,” Riz lies, finally finding his briefcase. “I was lyin’.”
“No, you weren’t. I already packed your bags,” she says, setting a suitcase down next to him. “For my sake, Riz. If you’re not gonna sleep, I’d rather you not sleep with your friends nearby to yell at you.”
Riz groans and grabs his suitcase. “I love you, Mom, but also I hate you.”
“I’ll take it. Come on, I’ll drive you. I want to hear about Fig stabbing the wall with Fabian’s sword.”
When Sklonda drops him off at the Manor, everyone is already waiting outside and Riz notices that Kristen is comfortingly patting Fabian’s shoulder while Fig chatters about something or other. When he hugs his mom goodbye, Fig elbows him and points to Riz, and Fabian relaxes visibly. Tracker is helping Gorgug and Ragh load suitcases and supplies into the van while Zelda sits cross-legged on the ground with Adaine, sketchbook out but going ignored as the two girls chat. It’s a little strange to see Ragh interacting with Gorgug the way that he’s used to Zelda doing--casual touches, a kiss on the cheek that causes Gorgug to drop a box and Tracker to laugh uproariously--but it’s good. It’s cute. Ragh and Gorgug look happy, and Zelda looks completely at ease with the whole thing, so clearly it’s going well.
Ragh sees him and waves enthusiastically, shouting, “Yo, it’s the Ball! Hey, dude!”
“Sorry I’m late,” he apologizes sheepishly, “I fell asleep and my mom had to come to wake me up. But I’m here!”
Fabian clocks him on the shoulder as he approaches. “You didn’t pick up, you complete asshole! You always pick up.”
Riz rubs his arm and glares at Fabian. “I do not always pick up.”
“You do!” he accuses, and Riz laughs despite himself. “Don’t laugh at me, the Ball, you pick up on the first ring whenever I call you.”
“I do not,” he replies, and whatever strange tension has come between him and Fabian eases immediately.
Fig points at Riz and all of a sudden the message cantrip flashes in front of his face, reading Put your fucking suitcase in the van and apologize to me for making me put up with your very worried best friend and Riz blushes out of embarrassment, causing Fig to nearly start crying with laughter.
“Alright, everyone in the van!” Gorgug calls as he takes Riz’s suitcase and conspiracy board and shoves it on top of everything else. “We’ve got nine people and nine places to sleep, so we’re all set!”
“Bastian City, here come the Bad Kids!” Fig whoops, before belatedly tacking on, “And also Ragh, Tracker, and Zelda!”
Fabian cheers and scoops Riz up onto his shoulders with a grace that Riz was not expecting. “Spyre better be fuckin’ ready for us!”
Damn right it better be, Riz thinks.