Work Text:
I wish I could pretend I didn't need ya
"Eddie, if you're really ready to date, apps are the best way to go. With our schedule and being a single dad, I know you don't want to trolls bars in your spare time." Buck says, a hip leaning against the firehouse's kitchen island. He had been trying to convince me that I should sign up for a dating app since I mentioned I might start dating 4 days ago.
What I failed to mention is that I was thinking about asking him out. Buck had been my best friend for over 3 years, and I felt like we had been tiptoeing toward something more for months. I didn't know if he was attracted to men in general, or attracted to me specifically, but either way I had to try. I hoped that if I told him I was ready to date, he would put me out of my misery and ask me out. But all Buck had done is go on and on about dating apps and speed dating and other modern ways of dating.
Now that we have a shift together, he cornered me as I ate breakfast. "It's convenient for you. And I can write the bio if you don't want to."
"I don't want to put myself out there like that yet." I say around a bite of oatmeal. I swallow and add, "plus, all I said was I'm thinking about dating." The idea of dating anyone else felt like I was cheating on Buck, or what Buck and I could have.
"Well, sign up for a dating app and you can do a little window shopping. Think about what kind of women you could be dating." Buck said, with a little wiggle to his eyebrows.
"And men." I added, around my last bite of oatmeal.
Buck made a strangled noise, and looked over to him. He's looking at me like I just said I want to date mermaids or something.
"What?" I ask, getting up to put my bowl in the dishwasher.
"I didn't know, uh, that you are, uh, into guys too." Buck said, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck. Suddenly, I realized that we never had the 'I like men too' conversation, and he didn't know me before Shannon. And it's not like he had access to my varied porn collection on my Pornhub account to know that I swing both ways. (Although, most of the recent additions have started a blond, fit man with a couple tattoos, which might be too much of a clue.)
I can't tell if he's embarrassed, shocked or something else, so I decide to play it off. "The bane of every bisexual." I sigh dramatically, "If you date a girl, you're straight. If you date a guy, you're gay. My sexuality isn't that narrow Buck."
Buck looks blankly at me, his blue eyes bright but unfocused. He licks his lips and I follow the movement with my eyes. Part of me wants to push my way into his space, curve my body around him and ask him out. Blantently use any charm and tricks I have to seduce him a date, or into my bed. And part of me is terrified to lose him, his constant presence and friendship. So I let him sit in this unease, hoping he smiles wide and unleashes his charm on me. Really, just looking for any reaction isn't outward discust.
Before he can organize his thoughts and respond, the house alarm goes off, and we rush to get our turns outs on and get out the door.
We danced for hours in the sand
The next week, Hen told me about this pop up club that was moving around LA beaches. With the heat of the day, it sounded great to have a club on the beach. This week's popup was at the beach between Buck's apartment and my house.
I told Buck that we should go on Friday, since we are both were off shift for four days starting on Friday and Christopher will be with my Abuela. It seemed like kismet or something, and Buck had agreed.
We decided that we'd meet there, otherwise Christopher might get upset to see Buck and not being able to go with us. So I got dressed, packed a bag for Chris and got him out the door. We spent the ride to my Abuela's singing Disney songs and kid versions of recent hit pop songs.
It was fully dark when I got the beach and I found a parking spot a couple blocks away. I could see the entrance to the club and roped off part of the beach. Even though it was early, for the club scene anyway, the roped off beach was packed with people, dressed in everything from bikinis and tees to sparkling dresses and three piece suits.
About 10 feet from the entry tent, Buck stood, waiting for me and fiddling with his phone. He was dressed in a short sleeve, gunmetal blue button down shirt and kacki pants. The outfit accented his tan skin and minimalist tattoos well. I know that the color would be just a couple shades darker than his baby blue eyes. He looked like he selected his outfit with care, like he was trying to impress someone.
I was more than just impressed, and I took my time walking toward him. I didn't have many opportunities to oogle him without someone noticing at work (although I know that Buck's uniform pants look like they were tailored just to display his ass). When we were off shift together, we usually had fire family, blood family or Chris with us, which also made it too challenging to visually appreciate Buck to the degree that I wanted.
Buck looked up from his phone and smiled, big and excited. "There you are!" He took a step toward me, looked me up and down and then froze.
I looked down at my outfit in confusion. I was wearing a white short sleeve, button down shirt and black linen slacks. I couldn't see any stains, so I looked back at Buck in confusion. "What's wrong?"
Buck blinked, shook his head a little, and swallowed. "Uh, no problem." He took a couple more steps toward me, until we were right in front of each other. I know that we tended to be close to each other, bumping shoulder and knocking elbows, so this wasn't different. Except it felt different, but maybe that was all in my head.
Buck stared at me for a moment longer before he spoke. "You clean up nice Diaz." He smirked at the joke, and rolled my eyes.
"So do you Evan." I said. "Let's go dance."
We started the evening dancing with different people, but Buck was always within my grasp. Sometimes we faced each other, with people between us. Sometimes, we were back to back, bumping elbows or hips with the beat of the music.
When we weren't dancing, we were even closer. Being outside made the noise less intense, but I still leaned into his space when I asked him if he wanted another drink. Buck smelled like expensive cologne and sweat, and it was the perfect mix of familiar and exciting to keep my heart beating fast.
"Only after you dance with me," he said. "You owe me at least one."
He put his hand around my waist and guided me back to the sandy dance floor. He put one hand on my shoulder blade, and took my other hand in his hand. The song had a fast beat, and Buck stepped forward, forcing to step back. At first, every thought rushed around in my head like bees making noise.
"Is this ok?" Buck asked, his lips right against my ear. His breath was hot compared to the cool air, and I shivered slightly.
Rather then answer, I said, "I didn't know you could dance."
I could feel Buck chuckle, and then he said, "There is a couple things you still don't know about me."
You say we're just friends / But friends don't know the way you taste
Two weeks later, Buck and I laughed at the TV in my living room for the 4th time in as many minutes. SNL was playing, and we both agreed that Weekend Update was our favorite sketch.
Our night began with pizza and Walace and Gromett, and all three of us laughing at the hijinks. Chris went to bed a little later than normal, but we still had time to watch SNL and have another beer.
Soon, it was over, and Buck was up and taking his last beer bottle to the trash.
I walked him to the door. He opened it, and I held it open as he turned around.
"Thanks again for having me over." Buck said.
"Man, you don't have to thank me every time you come over. You're always welcome here." I smiled wide as a joke formed in my head, "Actually, you're here so much that I should charge you rent."
Buck chuckled a little, but still tried to look shocked as he said, "You would make your best friend pay rent?"
I chuckled. "Well, maybe. It doesn't hurt to ask."
"Well, I've been waiting for you to ask me out for weeks, and here I am, still waiting."
I froze, leaning against the door. Buck looked back at me, open and confident. I was struck dumb by Buck's statement, and Buck leaned forward.
"Look at that. You're tongue-tied. Let me check on that."
Buck leaned forward the last inches and kissed me. His lips were firm and smooth, like the skin of a necterine when it's perfectly ripe. His tongue ran lightly against the seam of my lips, and I opened my mouth slightly. My first taste of Buck was beer and pizza and hot male.
A moment later, and way before I had my fill of his taste, Buck pulled back and smiled. "Thanks for having me over, friend." Buck turned around and jogged to his Jeep.
I wish it wasn't so damn hard to leave you
I woke up to my phone ringing. My hand flew out to where I kept it on the nightstand, but nothing was there. I cracked one eye open, and found myself looking out into Buck's loft. The large windows let in the morning sunshine, and I blinked a couple of times against the brightness.
My phone stopped ringing, but I still sat up and looked around. Buck's bedroom looked like a tornado hit it, with both of our clothes strung around everywhere. My pants we half on the chair in the corner, so I quietly padded over to them. Unlocking the phone, I saw 2 missed calls from my Abuela. Damn, I was late picking up Chris from her house.
I hid in the bathroom while I called Abuela, assuring her I wasn't dead somewhere and apologizing for being late. After we hung up, I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked well rested, but my hair looked like I tossed and turned all night.
Thankfully, I didn't have any hickeys on my neck. I turned to look at my back and found the bite mark. It was just to the left of center, directly on top of my trapedius muscle. It was a little red and purple, and it smarted if I lifted my arm out straight. I grinned at my reflection, remembering how dirty good it felt when Buck bit me as he pushed into me.
I went back to the bedroom, finding Buck still asleep. With our work, sleep patterns were always messed up, so I didn't want to wake him. Also, I got to look my fill at Buck, debatched in his bed. I've thought about what this moment might look like for a long time, but nothing could have prepared me for how beautiful he is like this. Relaxed. Peaceful.
I stared at him while I got dressed. I want to drink in as much of him as I can. We didn't discuss what was happening between us, so I have no idea if this is the first time or the last time I will see Buck like this. He was laying on his stomach, one of his knees bent, which made his ass stick up just a little. The sheet only went to his waist, so it glossed over the form muscles of his thighs and butt. His back had a couple red scratches, where I had dug my fingers into him. And there was definitely a hickey where his shoulder met his neck.
I thought about the wonderful sounds he made when I sucked on his skin and smiled. The breathy way he said my name and the way he gripped my arms when I bit down, just a little at the end. It was a sound that would keep me going for a while.
I dragged my eyes over Buck one more time, and then quietly walked to the door. I hoped with everything I could that this wasn't the only time I would share a bed with Buck.
I hope it meant something to you
It had been a month since I told Buck I was bi, 3 weeks since we went dancing, one week since he kissed me, and three days since we had sex at his apartment. And I hadn't texted him since I left his place that morning.
I wouldn't normally describe myself as scared, but I was being a total chicken shit about this. In my defense, I had typed out dozens of messages -
Hey Buck, wish I had woke you up for round three before I left.
Hey. I didn't know I liked being bitten.
I can't stop thinking about the sounds you make.
I just came in the shower thinking about you.
But nothing sounded right. They were either too shallow, or way to emotional -
I want my bed to smell like you.
I miss you.
Can you come by my place and stay forever?
I think I left my heart at your place. Can you look around for it?
Also in my defense, he hadn't texted me either. I checked my phone so many times everyday that Chris, Abuela and the crossing guard at Chris's school had asked me if everything was alright. But Buck and I were on shift together tomorrow, and I had to break the text-ice before then. I stared at my phone, little text bar blinking back at me for what felt like hours.
Finally, I just typed out the thing I wanted to ask and put my phone on silent and started down pushups.
Buck, what are we doing?
After nervous pushups, anxious situps, angry at myself wiping off the kitchen counter and worried pacing for 15 minutes I looked at my phone, afraid of both having a text and not having a text.
Waiting on my phone was one message from Buck:
You know this has been a long time coming. We are learning how to dance together.
Other Inspiration:
Beach Eddie: https://pin.it/hhl74rxat2lame
Beach Buck: https://pin.it/tb7zt4almzafuj
SNL skit: https://youtu.be/dEyo-szwgGI
Back biting: be careful, nsfw