Work Text:
He stands in an open field. It spreads out in a blur of green and orange, clusters of marigold growing past his knees. Above him, puffs of cloud float lazily in the bright blue sky, the sun peeking out from the gaps between them.
In this unknown place, Chikage feels like he’s walked for hours. Even though he doesn’t have his phone or any clock on his person, the strain on his legs is evidence of his effort.
Logic speaks that he should determine his location, like looking at the soil or the weather or whatever minimal details this landscape offers him, but something in his mind drives him to keep going, as if he’s searching for something that he doesn’t even know. So he continues, until… he sees him .
Standing in the same scenery as him, August looks radiant, a wind that didn’t exist before blowing softly at his hair. August looks the same as he always had: beautiful, serene, saintly.
He looks ahead, gazing right at Chikage as he says, “It’s been a while.”
At the sight of August, Chikage’s mind wars over what he should do. Hold his hand. Hug him tight. Say how much he misses him. Tell him he loves him.
But the final thought wins out, as it always does. Ask if any of this is real. Chikage laughs bitterly, “So, this is a dream, huh?”
August doesn’t move. “Of course.”
Silence falls upon them after August’s words. It isn’t a comfortable one though, not for Chikage. He shifts uneasily, keeping his eyes down at the marigolds. The sight of August had always brought him relief, his first instinct to feel joy in his presence, to be right by his side in an instant. But now, that can no longer happen and seeing August only reminds him of all that he had lost and all that he’s done. He doesn’t deserve it anymore, not after the three of them are no longer able to spend warm nights in their hideout, not after…
“After you almost destroyed December’s family, right?” August speaks again, plucking the thoughts right out of his mind.
Chikage doesn’t respond. He refuses to. There’s no point debating with a dream, not when past experiences warn of the possible nightmare of self-loathing that this could morph into.
That doesn’t stop the dream from progressing, however, and it doesn’t stop August from talking. “You always placed your family above yourself. Even if that means that you would need to harm another family member. You’ve gone against my final wish, you know? I wanted to protect December.”
The rustle of leaves is the only sign that August has moved when Chikage’s eyes are glued to the ground. There’s an audible sigh from August and he continues on.
“Not that I don’t understand. You’ve finally found out the secret of the drug I gave the both of you now. But you, aren’t you doing more harm than good? December may have accepted you but who knows how long it’ll take until your Mankai Company runs you out? You did kidnap their director, after all.”
The rustles audibly get closer and there’s a small pause before a hand is placed under his chin with the same care and precision that August uses to treat his wounds. Like Chikage is a big sentient wound. With a jerk, the hand lifts his chin up so suddenly that Chikage isn’t allowed the time to close his eyes, leading him to look right at August’s face.
Even dressed in that dreary black organisation coat, August shines bright. Chikage doesn’t know how to regard August, what image he currently holds of him. His family? His saviour? The result of his failures?
Nevertheless, he has that kind, patient smile that Chikage remembers after all this time, lips slightly tilted up at the corners, looking exactly like a benign god. That prompts Chikage to speak.
“August, I… I promise you, I-” August shushes him with a laugh.
After that, August doesn’t respond. Instead, with languid strokes, he picks up a stalk of marigold with his free hand, cradling it gently. He brings it next to his lips, as if kissing the flower as he lets go of Chikage’s chin, his hands moving together to bring the other’s hands together, placing the marigold to Chikage’s open palms.
The marigold withers on contact.
August laughs again, this time sharply, full of agony and enmity. His stable voice taunts, “See? All that you touch dies. How are you going to promise me anything when this is all that you can do?”
Immediately after his words leave his mouth, the entire field shifts. All the marigolds wilt up, following the one in Chikage’s hands, shrinking away into a stretch of miserable brown as the petals droop lifelessly.
Chikage blinks and the field is gone entirely, replaced by a cliff beneath them and an endless expanse of sea surrounds them. The murky water seems to warp at every passing second, like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s looking at.
“December did tell you about the circumstances of my death, didn’t he? Did you think it was time you paid a visit?” August remains unperturbed by the sudden change and walks towards the edge, staring at the sea. “If you were in December’s shoes, I wonder if you would have survived too. Maybe you should try jumping from there too. You know the location, right, April?”
“I…”
“Well, that doesn’t matter. You said you had a new goal. But, do you really think you’ll be able to fulfill it? Do you think you would be able to protect anyone?” August turns around, staring straight at Chikage. His lips curl upwards as he tilts backward. “Goodbye April.”
“Wait! August!”
August falls into the sea, smiling all the while.
Chikage jumps in after him.
“...pai. Se..pai. Chikage-san!”
A hand shakes at his shoulder as he awakes. He’s greeted by Itaru’s worried face. His roommate gives him space as Chikage sits up, wiping off the sweat accumulated on his brow from his nightmare.
They sit there for a while, Chikage slowly gaining back his breath he didn’t know he lost, until Itaru asks, “Do you need water?”
“That’ll be good, “ Chikage replies and instantly, a bottle is placed into his hands, as if Itaru had prepared for it. He takes a sip from it, the water clearing his mind and shaking away any remnants of the nightmare that clung onto him. “Thank you, Chigasaki. Sorry for waking you.”
“It’s fine, I was ranking anyway.” Itaru assures Chikage but one glance at the unlit screen of his phone tells him otherwise. He doesn’t let Itaru know though; he appreciates his gesture of comfort anyway.
“You should get back to sleep. You have work tomorrow.”
Itaru raises an eyebrow, visible even in the dark of the room. “So do you. Besides it’s,” he pauses to grab his phone to check the time, “5am.”
“I have a higher sleep tolerance than you. Besides, we wouldn’t want you falling asleep on the job,” Chikage sighs but he enjoys Itaru’s casual tone and banter. It’s successful in grounding Chikage back to reality.
“Not like I’ve not gone with a few sleepless nights for ranking. I’ll stay up with you.” Itaru climbs into Chikage’s bed, sitting next to him. “In the troupe, I’m your elder so I’ll take care of you. And that means not letting my unromantic senior waste himself away alone until the sun rises.”
Itaru turns his phone on again, the light from the screen shining brightly in the dark. His thumb unlocks his lockscreen as he navigates through his apps until he finds the one he was looking for.
“Let me introduce you to my favourite game. You know, there’s a girl that’s similar to you. She’s the most popular too. Her event rank is no joke.”
“And I don’t suppose she’s your favourite?” Chikage smirks.
“Don’t be so conceited, Senpai. That’s NG,” Itaru pouts. He presses the app and launches it. As it loads, he asks, “...Do you want to talk about your dream?”
Chikage fixes his eyes on Itaru’s screen. “Not now.”
“I don’t suppose that means a ‘I will later’?”
“Don’t count on it..” Chikage quips back as the game finally loads past the login page. As Itaru presses buttons that lead to the profile pages, Chikage speaks softly, just enough for it to be audible to his partner, “...Thank you, Chigasaki.”
Itaru doesn’t say anything in response but he leans in closer to Chikage, Chikage’s head resting on his shoulder, like a non-verbal way of saying “no worries”.
Chikage’s faced countless nightmares on nights that he had been unsuccessful at staying awake. Out of all of them, ones featuring a lookalike mockery of August taunting him with his worries and fears with toxic words in that painfully familiar voice.
Slowly though, like the gradual move of an hour hand in the clock, like the quiet growth of a lily of the valley, he’ll bloom with his new family.
As the dawn begins to sneak in from their window, Chikage’s hand settles comfortably above Itaru’s.