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"Chris-senpai, do you believe in Santa?"
Chris's eyebrows shot up when he heard this question. He stopped adding more chocolate powder into his glass and turned to the one who asked him. Sawamura Eijiun sat comfortably at his work desk, concentrating on cutting green papers into small christmas trees.
"Are you saying that you believe in a bearded old man in red coat who fly around the world with some reindeers, Sawamura?"
"I don't mean it like that!", He giggled. "I'm saying... I believe everyone has their own Santa. I have mine, you have yours. And who knows? Our Santa could be different in every year"
What's going on in this guy's head?
Chris thought to himself, feeling amused when he saw Sawamura whipped out a pair of dark blue socks from his bag and shoved one sock into Chris's hand while ordering his senpai to put his name on it. Chris, while felt a bit abashed because of his not-quite-young age anymore, went along with Eijun.
"You need to write your name down, or else Santa will get real confused here"
Chris gazed down at the blue sock in his hand. He might have stared at it for too long since Sawamura suddenly started blabbering that these were new socks and definitely not the one he used in Seido baseball club. The so called 'Good senpai' gave his junior a playful 'I don't believe you' face and was rewarded with a flying pillow and a cute pout.
"How do you picture my Santa then?"
---------
Ah….
I was dreaming?
Seemed like he thought about their talk enough to dream about it. Chris pinched his brows, tried to stop his mind from wandering any further and settled himself. It's not an easy task when his emotion was still all over the place.
Sawamura's words always make him question something he never thought about before, and time after time, he would try to find answers for those questions. He really did owe Sawamura for his attitude now; it's not like Chris was naive, but Sawamura approached everything in his own unique way. If Chris were stuck in a tunnel, Sawamura would tell him to try to look above or below since only going forward blindly might not be the way to find the exit.
Sawamura taught him all of it…
"How do you picture my Santa then?"
"Eh? Your Santa? That's up to you to figure it out! I can't possibly answer that!"
This cheeky brat was too good at making Chris become baffled. Between Sawamura and baseball, the kid was probably harder to figure out.
Chris sighed and pinched the one sleeping soundy beside him on his cute cheek. Sawamura let out an annoyed hum, Chris’s mouth curved up when he heard it and couldn’t help stealing a kiss from Sawamura’s cheek.
The pitch black room and a bit chilling air made Chris realize that right now was late at night and not a reasonable time at all to be awakened. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and took a quick look at the time, it was 3 AM. Chris rolled his eyes and said goodbye to his plan of having a good long restful sleep.
“Senpai? You have a nightmare?”
“It’s nothing. Sorry, I wake you up,” Chris replied sleepily and planted a kiss on Sawamura’s forehead. It was a cold night and it’d probably snow in the morning, Chris tucked the blanket around Sawamura. This evening he ‘played’ with this brat’s body quite thoroughly…, well, thoroughly enough to tired out an athlete like Sawamura and made him fall asleep. Actually, they both did, which was why he’s awake right now.
“Go back to sleep, Eijun”
‘Eijun’ and ‘Yuu’ were the name they used when they held each other.
“Oyasumi”
Chris gazed at Samura’s face, emotions ran deep in his softened eyes. He’d never told Sawamura that he liked to watch over his sleep. It was in these moments that made him realize his own feelings the most.
Love
Longing
Yearning
I want to hold you and kiss you. I need to see you. Do you feel like me?
Becoming an adult pushed them further apart. Sawamura was in his last year of college and had to stumbling around trying to finish his thesis. While Chris was a MLB player and barely have time to visit Japan because of all the practices and matches in USA. They both have their duties and dreams to chase after. It was a rare chance for Chris to have Sawamura’s warm body in his arms like this. They got together after Seidou managed to fight their way to Koshien. Between them, there were neither confession nor sweet words asking the other out. Their bond just kept growing stronger day by day without the need to label it, and finally, Sawamura gave his first kiss to Chris.
They didn’t see each other often, and it was quite bewildered that they never fight about it. Chris owed it to the fact that when they first got together, it was like this anyway. The baseball club and phone messages were a bridge that connected them together. They both immersed themselves in being passionate about their future lives and the path they choose. One would say it was quite like a long distance relationship between them from the start.
The times that they got to spend together were mostly during festival times or holidays and Christmas was one of those days that Chris got to fly back to Japan.
Back to Eijun.
Chris’s eyes adjusted to the darkness and he could see small white flakes pouring down outside from the window. The first snow was here. Chris only realized now that nearby the window was the most decorated spot in this room. All those little LED warm lights, ornaments and tiny christmas trees that Sawamura dedicated himself to folding them were put here. It’s like Sawamura knew they would look best with the view of the fluttering snow.
Chris wanted to wake the one who decorated this window up but his eyes spot something. It was the dark blue sock that Sawamura hang up.
“Hm…”
That sock looked like it had something stuffed inside…
Chris got up and moved as quietly as possible towards the window, he really didn’t want to wake his bed company up again. He plucked the sock, looked inside and was greeted by a small card and an envelope.
Santa? For a moment, he really believed it
“No way,” Chris turned to stare at the mastermind who’s taking a visit to dreamland in the blanket.
So you’ve already prepared everything then?
He gave a slight smile. “You really aren’t good at hiding things”
If he opened the present before morning, he’d definitely have to deal with a sulking Sawamura and rounds of loud yelling that make his ears ring. However, his curiosity won in the end. Chris put aside the present and settled on just reading the card. He convinced himself that the smartest thing to do was to finish reading it so quickly that Sawamura had zero chance of waking up and start shouting.
I believe everyone has their own Santa but the Santa keeps changing as year goes by. If Santa was someone who gave you a christmas present, then I want to be your Santa this year.
Hope you like it.
Love, Eijun.
'God… the brat never stops being too adorable for his own good'
Chris caressed those messily words,
his heart was enveloped in warmth. He placed a soft kiss on the card, and felt all the emotions his lover poured into this card seeped into him.
Caring.
Determining.
Passionate.
'This is his Eijun'
Chris put the card back inside the dark blue sock, he did not forget to arrange it neatly so Eijun would never figure out that he’d already read it. Chris planned out how to act surprised and convince Sawamura tomorrow that it’s his first time seeing the card while strolling to the bed and buried himself in the blanket.
“So cold..” mumbled voice echoed in the dark. Sawamura was only sleep-talking but Chris was sure he really mean it.
“It’s the snow,” Chris replied, he stopped staring outside the window and put his arms around Sawamura, the sleeping brat’s warm skin pressed against him. “Let me hold you, Eijun”
“Mmm”
Chris pulled Sawamura towards him more and tightened his embrace, causing the pitcher to let out a soft noise. He sturred a bit then nestled comfortably in Chris’s arms and fell right back to sleep. Chris watched over him with fond eyes until Sawamura’s breathing evened out. Although they had so little time together, they still fitted perfectly.
Sawamura was warm, he always gave out a feeling of a clear sky in summertime. The smell of a bright warm light clung to his sun-kissed skin even in the coldest night.
Sawamura was just an ordinary pitcher when they first met. Apart from being a southpaw and had a really flexible body, he was nothing special. Back then he had no talent and was not important to the team… but he’d brought something back to Chris. Something Chris once thought he’d lost it forever.
He brought back the flicker of life in Chris’s eyes.
Sawamura Eijun was just an ordinary person, yet, he held so much wonder inside him. Chris really wanted a taste of him again, but he also worried that he would put a strain on Sawamura’s body.
“Chris-senpai, I’m tired”
Chris became stiff as a rock, but he calmed down when it’s clear that Sawamura was just talking in his sleep again.
“Let’s.. Mm… let’s continue tomorrow”
What.... are you dreaming about?
“Deal” Chris tried to hold back his chuckle, he played with Sawamura’s bang and caressed his face before whispered gently, “Then tomorrow, I won’t eat my dessert after breakfast. I'll save it for something else.”
“...okay”
Sawamura was too careless for his own good. Chris knew that he might be too demanded but he’s a catcher afterall. Leading the pitcher was his usual job, wasn’t it?
"How do you picture my Santa then?"
"Eh? Your Santa? That's up to you to figure it out! I can't possibly answer that!"
Merry Christmas, my Santa.
Please be my Santa forever, for I want to be your Santa forever as well.
End.