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She tapped her pencil on her desk. Over and over again. No focus at all.
She wasn't one to lose her focus in class easily— no, she was always an excellent student.
But today, she couldn't seem to pay attention to the obscure pre-calculus equations written on the board.
Instead, her head kept moving just a degree to the side, her eye peering to the left: the end of the row, where Ricky Bowen was sitting... next to Gina Porter.
They were close. Nini didn't know why or how it happened, but she knew they were.
Slowly, she had started to realize it. They would be hanging around each other all the time, just laughing, smiling, talking.
She couldn't say that she enjoyed seeing it. Was she supposed to?
Ricky seemed happy and she cared about Ricky a lot. She just... didn't like seeing him happy with her.
Why did she have to be the one to make him smile like that?
She didn't care when Big Red cracked a joke and Ricky was dying of laughter. But when Gina did it, it was different— Ricky's face was different.
...like it meant something to him.
She supposed it was normal that they were bonding... they were working together in the musical; it was natural that they were friends. Right?
The bell rang and it was a blessing in disguise. Nini peeled her eyes away from them and carelessly stuffed her notebook and pencil into her backpack, rushing out the door.
Rehearsal used to be a time where Nini felt free.
But every time she went now, she felt like there was a lump in her throat because they were always talking.
Today was even worse.
Miss Jenn was going on and on and on about bringing their characters to life on opening night.
As usual, Nini's eyes flew right to Ricky because, for some reason, she just could never seem to pay attention to anyone else.
Surprisingly, he seemed to be paying attention. But, of course, he was sitting next to Gina.
And the worst part? His hand.
His hand was on her thigh, his thumb tracing circles as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
He was doing it absentmindedly.
Friends could do that, too, right?
Nini felt the lump form in her throat again, protruding much more than usual today.
When Miss Jenn stopped talking and it was time to get into their roles, his hand jerked away.
...like he didn't want anyone to notice that it was there because it meant something to him.
But Nini already noticed.
How was she supposed to play the Gabriella to his Troy like this?
She swallowed her pride and pretended to be his Gabriella.
Part of it was easy because it was easy to pretend she was in love with him... maybe because it wasn't really pretending.
But she could tell that it was different for him.
Between every scene, his eyes would wander, catching Gina's. They'd lock eyes, smiling warmly at each other.
"Great job today, Nini," Ricky said at the end of rehearsal, that stupid charming and boyish grin on his face. "You killed it as usual."
It was times like these that made her forget about the things she saw.
She melted when she looked at him.
"Oh... thanks," she breathed, her cheeks flushed. "Do you want to, um... I don't know, get some food or something? I'm... starving after rehearsal."
His mouth hung open. He had that look on his face that he always had when he was too afraid to tell her something.
"I would, but... I— I, uh... I'm supposed to go out for food with my dad after he finishes work," he replied apologetically.
Nini wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe that he really had plans with his dad. Maybe he did.
"We should catch up another time, though," he smiled. "See you?"
"Yeah... sure, of course," she faked a smile.
Her heart sank as he walked away anyway.
And it only hurt more when she noticed Gina catching up to him right at the hallway exit.
That bright smile came right back up onto his face as they melted away into a conversation.
They were just friends, Nini wanted to believe.
But if they were just friends, why did he feel the need to lie?
Because she knew he wasn't hanging out with his dad today. He was hanging out with Gina.
"Kourtney?"
"Yeah, girl?"
"You think they're just friends, right?"
Kourtney looked up from the mirror in her powder, halting her make-up touch up to glance at whoever Nini was going on about.
There they were— Ricky and Gina, still glued together at their table in the cafeteria.
They were around other friends; Big Red, Ashlyn, Carlos, and Seb were all sitting at the same table, too.
But for whatever reason, Ricky and Gina were in their own world, laughing together. Their eyes never left each other.
"Um..." Kourtney was usually one to be blunt, but she saw the hurt on Nini's face. She couldn't handle it.
"You don't?"
"No, chill. I didn't say anything," Kourtney blinked several times. "We don't know that there's anything going on between them— so what if they're hanging out now? It might not mean anything."
It felt nice to hear. Even if Kourtney was probably sugarcoating it.
There was nothing— nothing to say for certain that they were anything more than friends.
Nini assured herself that everything was fine.
She and Ricky were friends now at least. He would tell her if he was dating someone new, wouldn't he?
Nini had gone on during the week, trying her hardest to ignore Ricky and Gina's... friendship.
Because as Kourtney had said, nobody knew if anything was going on between them.
She pushed it out of her mind and just tried her hardest not to look at them.
Not during math class, not during lunch time, not when they walked together in the hallway, and not even at rehearsal.
It was going well for a while, until the theater gossip got the best of her.
They were having a cast bonding hangout that actually wasn't orchestrated by Miss Jenn.
Ashlyn had invited everyone to her house for a little get-together party, just like Thanksgiving.
But they weren't all talking in one big group. They sort of... split up into mini-groups.
Nini found herself in a group with Carlos, Seb, Ashlyn, and Kourtney. And, of course, Carlos was quite the gossip.
It was all fun and games as Carlos spilled about all of the "theater tea" that he had found out.
He suspected that Miss Jenn had a thing for Mr. Mazzara; Ashlyn said it couldn't be true because Big Red had told her that Miss Jenn had a thing for Ricky's dad.
He also said that he had heard that Big Red was crushing on Ashlyn; Ashlyn said that it couldn't be true but the blush on her face said that she wanted it to be true.
He even said that E.J. had apparently been hanging out with some girl from the volleyball team; this time, Ashlyn said she had seen them talking, too.
So, really, it was all fun, harmless theater gossip.
Maybe Nini was supposed to be more upset that E.J. was interested in someone new because he was her ex-boyfriend and all, but...
It didn't bother her. Nothing bothered her until...
"Ohmygod," Carlos beamed with the most scandalous look on his face. "Don't know how I forgot, but Seb and I saw the most massive hickey on Gina's neck."
Massive. Hickey. What?
Kourtney immediately looked to Nini with reassuring eyes, trying to tell her that it didn't necessarily mean what she thought it meant.
But God she was freaking out. She couldn't possibly fathom the idea of... Ricky doing that to Gina.
He didn't. He couldn't have. He hadn't said a word about seeing anyone.
"I... uhm... I didn't know that Gina's dating someone," Nini chewed her lip.
Then Carlos looked to Seb. Seb looked to Ashlyn. Like they knew something.
"Carlos, you shouldn't have brought it up," Seb whispered, but Nini heard it anyway.
Nini felt her leg shaking involuntarily. Her palms were getting sweaty.
"Look, we don't know anything," Ashlyn started, probably to soften the blow. "But we think..."
Nini raised her eyebrows in a mix of impatience and fear from Ashlyn's silence.
"We think that it could be from Ricky," Carlos finished for her. "But you're totally over him though, right?"
Too quickly, she nodded her head.
"Of course. We broke up months ago," she said like it was obvious.
Kourtney raised her eyebrows, clearly in disbelief.
Nini had never explicitly told her that she wasn't over Ricky, but it was a little obvious.
"Okay... well, Ashlyn, are you positive that Miss Jenn has a thing for Mr. Bowen?" Seb changed the subject, sensing Nini's discomfort.
Nini peered into the kitchen where, of course, Ricky and Gina were found together.
She was propped up on one of the kitchen counter tops while Ricky stood close to her, leaning his palm down on the granite surface.
They looked so engaged with each other.
Well, Nini noticed they always looked happy while talking to each other, but it was different this time.
They looked so into each other.
Like they wanted each other.
"If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get a Coke from the kitchen," Nini excused herself.
Everyone nodded, but Kourtney watched her with cautious eyes.
She could tell exactly why Nini was going to that kitchen.
A certain piece of gossip that Carlos had shared that Nini wanted to check the validity of...
"Nini," Kourtney warned.
"I'll be right back. I'm just getting a drink," she reminded before hopping up and walking into the kitchen.
It was like Ricky didn't even notice her when she walked in.
He used to look at her. He used to try to start a conversation with her.
But ever since he started hanging around with Gina, he sometimes didn't even say hello to her.
His eyes were still on Gina.
They were talking about math class, but their eyes were saying other things.
God, what if they had plans after this?
She opened the fridge, but turned her head to get a good look at Gina's neck.
There it was— the massive hickey that Carlos had described. It was pretty massive.
It was faintly covered up with concealer, but it had clearly worn throughout the day because she could almost see the entire thing.
She wondered how she hadn't even noticed at school.
Maybe she had gotten so good at ignoring Ricky and Gina... until now, of course.
But still, she didn't know if it was true.
All she knew was that Gina had a hickey on her neck. Maybe she had some other boyfriend that she hadn't told everyone about yet.
She wondered if Gina's boyfriend cared about her hanging out with Ricky so much.
That gave her peace of mind as she re-entered the living room with a Coke in hand, placing herself next to Kourtney in the circle.
She engaged with her friends again, freeing her mind of Ricky.
There was no point in stressing the unknown, right?
"Are you okay?" Kourtney whispered as soon as she returned.
"Yeah," Nini faked a smile. "I don't know why I've been worrying so much about things that are out of my control."
"Good. You're way better than that, girl," Kourtney smiled.
And they talked on and on for a while.
More of the castmates joined the group— E.J., Big Red, Natalie... even Ricky and Gina joined in at some point.
Everything felt good and normal again.
But Nini should've known that she was forcing herself to not care.
"Guys, I'm having so much fun, but I've gotta go," Gina announced, standing up. "My mom wants me home early tonight."
Nini hated to admit it, but she was kind of glad that Gina was leaving.
Not because she particularly disliked Gina (anymore), but... truthfully, she hadn't gotten much time with Ricky lately.
Sure, he wasn't her boyfriend anymore, but she still missed talking to him. They never really talked anymore.
She felt a spark of hope for a second that it would feel like old times with Ricky until...
"Yeah, and I'm her ride, so... I'm gonna head out now, too. I'm pretty tired, anyway, but it was a lot of fun, guys," Ricky added, grinning as he stood up.
Nini saw Carlos turning to Seb, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
The other castmates really were starting to think that there was something going on between Ricky and Gina.
It wasn't all in her head anymore, was it?
Was it ever really all in her head, though?
Everyone was saying their goodbyes to Ricky and Gina, who seemed to be in an awful hurry as they head out the door.
"Nini, you better not be worrying," Kourtney whispered. "It's fine. They're not worth your time."
"I know, I know..." Nini sighed. "It's just... hard to see, even if I don't know for sure if it's true."
She was betting that even Kourtney thought it was true.
In fact, judging by the look on Kourtney's face at lunch that day when Nini first asked her if she thought anything was going on between them, she was certain that Kourtney thought it was true.
"Come on, let's have fun tonight. You have friends here that you can do that with, you know," Kourtney reminded.
Nini smiled, taking Kourtney's hand.
"You've always got my back and I love you for it," Nini squeezed Kourtney's hand.
Perhaps Nini was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
She was supposed to spend the whole afternoon with Kourtney because lately, she had decided to focus on the friendships in her life that mattered.
She wasn't going to worry about boys... or ex-boyfriends and their new potential girlfriends... or a singular ex-boyfriend.
Forgot my jacket in the dressing room but I'll meet u there, Nini texted Kourtney.
Dw about it. I gotta talk to Mazzara about my physics grade so take ur time, Kourtney texted back.
With that, Nini went back to the cast dressing room to pick up her jacket.
It was purely a coincidence when she heard Ricky's voice from outside the door.
"C'mon, are you sure about this?" he asked, but he sounded like he was laughing.
"Yes! Don't be such a scaredy-cat, Ricky. I'm pretty sure everyone's already left," came Gina's voice.
Nini's eyes widened. She heard the fumbling of the doorknob.
Panicking, she ducked below some storage boxes, hiding from their impending arrival.
In came, of course, Ricky and Gina. She was holding one of his hands as she shut the dressing room door again.
In his free hand, Ricky was holding his acoustic guitar.
"You ready for this?" Ricky grinned, sitting down on one of the chairs by the mirrors and propping his guitar onto his lap.
Gina nodded her head, looking at him admiringly as he played a little riff on his guitar.
He strummed and plucked away, playing such lovely melodies.
He was so talented— Nini couldn't help but stare at how adorable he was.
But she knew that all of this was for Gina.
She remembered when she had first caught them staying behind in the practice room after rehearsal.
It was probably the first time she had seen them hanging out.
He had his guitar that day and he was playing an acoustic rendition of one of the songs for the musical.
Nini had overheard it when she was walking by; she couldn't help but admire how soft his voice was and how beautiful his guitar-playing was.
She just had to listen in that day. As she came closer to get a better listen, she had found Gina in there with him.
Gina was listening to his song. They were looking at each other the entire time.
She was soaking in every note he sang and played. She admired him, too. It was obvious.
And now, they seemed even closer than that day.
Back then, there was some distance between them.
But not anymore. Gina was standing right by him, her legs practically touching his knees.
"Why are you so talented, Ricky? I seriously hate you for it."
He chuckled, "Says you."
"You're Troy Bolton. You're the star of the musical."
"So are you. At least in my book. Honestly, you're like the only thing I wanna pay attention to."
Nini's heart sank so far down her chest. She hated this.
"You are so cheesy, Bowen."
"Oh, don't act like you don't love it," he chuckled.
The lustful look on her face intensified. She lowered down, pushing Ricky's guitar off of his lap and instead placing herself onto it.
Her hands found their way around Ricky's neck.
He bit his lip, staring at her with equal intensity in his eyes.
"I thought you wanted to come here to hear me play," he chuckled.
"I did... but I think I have other ideas right now," she smirked.
"Oh, yeah?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Mhm," she hummed right before closing the distance between their lips.
Nini felt tears welling up. Her eyes were burning.
She didn't know why she was torturing herself by watching this.
At least... now she knew for sure what she had been so afraid of.
She wished that she could just leave already.
But still, she watched as their mouths moved together.
She watched as Ricky's hands found their way to Gina's lower back, holding onto her so tightly.
She watched the way Gina ran her hands through his curls, pushing his head closer so that she could deepen their kisses.
Finally, she made herself look away.
She didn't want to hurt anymore.
"You've been different ever since Wednesday, Nini," Kourtney pointed out at the cafeteria table. "What is going on with you?"
"Nothing."
"Nini, I know you. I know when something's up," she warned.
"I don't know. Maybe I realized that not taking Ricky back was a mistake," Nini confessed, pulling on her hair.
"A mistake?" Kourtney raised her eyebrows. "Girl, that boy did nothing but hurt you while you two were together—"
"Yeah, but he was trying to make it up to me ever since this school year started, but I was too blinded by E.J.," Nini sighed.
"Did something happen?" Kourtney asked. "Did he say something to you?"
Nini shook her head, "He didn't have to. I made a mistake and now it's too late to take it back."
"Too late?"
Nini felt the tears welling up in her eyes again.
Images of Ricky and Gina in the dressing room that she desperately wanted to forget popped up in her mind again.
"You know it's true— Ricky and Gina."
"I don't know anything. I've only heard," Kourtney reminded.
"Well, I know," Nini confessed. "Kourtney, I didn't just hear it. I saw it. On Wednesday, when I went to get my jacket, I saw them together in the dressing room... making out."
Kourtney's eyes widened.
"Girl, what?"
"I can't believe I found out like that. I thought he would at least tell me if he started dating someone."
"They're together? But why are they keeping it a secret?"
"I don't know. But I want to know."
"Big Red probably knows. Ricky tells him everything."
Just like that, Nini caught sight of Big Red, who was whistling as he walked towards the lunch line with an empty tray in hand.
"I'm cornering him," Nini announced, not even waiting for Kourtney's response before running up to Big Red and grabbing him by the collar of his t-shirt.
"Big Red! We need to talk," she said, pushing him into the hallway.
"Woah... Nini!" he cried. "What in the world is going on?"
"I know about Ricky and Gina. I just... I wanna know why he's keeping it a secret," she said.
"W-what makes you think that I know anything about it?" Big Red asked, chewing his lip.
Nini glared at him.
"Come on, Nini... I promised him that I wouldn't say anything to anyone," he sighed.
"Well, it's not a secret anymore!" Nini cried. "Honestly, I think everyone knows! And now, I just want to know why he didn't tell me."
Big Red pressed his lips together. Silence came over the both of them.
Nini just stared at him anxiously, waiting and hoping that he would tell her anything because she just wanted to understand.
He almost looked sorry for her... like he understood what she was going through.
Maybe he could sympathize. After all, Red was there for everything that happened between her and Ricky.
He took a deep breath.
"Okay... it started off as a secret. It was new and they didn't want people talking and getting in their heads..."
Nini wished that she wasn't on the verge of tears yet again.
Every time she heard about them or talked about them, she felt like crying.
Would it ever get easier?
"...and then word went around that you aren't over him, so he felt bad and now they're putting off telling everyone. He just didn't want to hurt you, Nini. He cares about you a lot."
Nini rolled her eyes.
Much of the sadness blew over and now she was just feeling angry.
He kept it a secret "for" her, right? To spare her feelings?
"Well, considering what I've seen with my own eyes, he must not care about me that much after all," she folded her arms.
"Nini, wait—" Red started, reaching out for her.
"No, it's okay, Red. Thank you for telling me. I won't say anything to Ricky."
It was getting closer to opening night of the musical. Nini had been trying her hardest to avoid Ricky deliberately.
Part of her wanted to confront him...
...but the other part of her never wanted to hear about him and Gina again.
Was she supposed to be happy for him?
Because she certainly couldn't bring herself to be.
"Great job, everyone!" Miss Jenn exclaimed as the crew dispersed from rehearsal. "I'll see you all after school tomorrow. Ricky... Nini... can you stay behind today? I need to talk to you both quickly."
Nini looked up, glancing at Ricky.
He glanced at her, too.
She pressed her lips together, internally frustrated.
"I'll catch you later, then?" Nini heard Gina say quietly to Ricky.
He smiled, nodded, and watched Gina as she made her way out of the room.
"Ricky, Nini... you two are my Troy and Gabriella," Miss Jen said as soon as the rest of the kids were out of the room.
Ricky raised his eyebrows.
"As you both should know, opening night is coming up very soon and I need you both to be on your top game. As our Troy and Gabriella, that requires a lot of chemistry."
Ricky's facial expression showed amusement.
"Where are you going with this, Miss Jen?"
Nini just sat there blankly. She had a feeling she knew exactly where this was going.
"As actors, you can't let your personal lives infiltrate your professional ones," she explained. "And lately, I've been noticing something is off about the two of you. I ignored it because I assumed it would pass, but as we draw closer to opening night, I have to say something."
Ricky glanced at Nini.
"You think something's off? I— I thought everything's fine," he raised his eyebrows, turning to face Nini fully. "Is something wrong, Nini?"
"No. Everything's fine, Miss Jenn. I can assure you that everything will be fine for the show," Nini declared.
Honestly, she didn't know if it were possible to be completely fine, but she would try.
She wanted to maintain her professionalism, but it was so hard doing this with Ricky.
Maybe she even could have been more professional if E.J. were Troy, but Ricky?
It hurt way too much.
"You two need to find your balance, okay? And... I hate to remind you, but I hope you remember that the kiss is going to be happening on opening night and I recommend that the two of you don't go into it blindly considering the recent... lackluster chemistry," Miss Jenn told them.
Nini's heart rate picked up a whole bunch.
"What? You want us to practice the kiss? Miss Jenn—" she started.
"Nini, please," Miss Jenn interrupted. "I'm not forcing anything, but I am telling you two to meet up outside of mandatory rehearsals and get your chemistry sorted out. By the end of the week, I need to see my Troy and Gabriella, not a projection of any personal drama in your lives. Is that clear?"
They both nodded meekly.
Miss Jenn simply smiled before grabbing her purse and heading out the door.
Ricky turned to Nini, letting out a nervous chuckle.
"A projection of our personal drama?" Ricky scoffed. "She's gotta be crazy. We've been totally cool lately. We're buddies, right?"
"Sure are..." Nini replied dryly.
He blinked a few times before raising his eyebrows.
"I'm sorry... was Miss Jenn right or something? Are you mad at me?" he asked.
She sighed, "I'm not mad. But maybe she's right. Maybe our chemistry has been off."
"Okay, well... do you wanna practice? Read through our lines, or...?" he started.
"Yeah, I think that would be good. I just— I don't want to mess it up on opening night," she told him.
As much as she loathed the idea of spending extra time with him when she knew the truth, she also knew that she had to.
For the sake of the show, that was...
"Wait, like... right now?" Ricky asked, seeming a bit inconvenienced by her proposal.
She rolled her eyes, "Is that a problem, Ricky? Do you already have plans that are more important than the integrity of our show, or...?"
He shook his head, "No, Nini. It's not like that. Now works— I can do now. Let me just, uh... let me text my dad that I'll be home late."
She hated that she knew that he wasn't texting his dad.
She hated that she knew that the message he was typing away on his phone was going to Gina Porter.
"Should we take it from the page we were reading in rehearsal?" Ricky suggested.
Nini nodded her head, flipping her script open.
She only glanced at her line for a second because she... just knew it by heart.
It felt like she was meant to play Gabriella.
And sometimes it felt like he was meant to play Troy.
Her Troy. Not Gina's, right?
"Then they don't know enough about you, Troy. At my other schools, I was the freaky math girl. It's cool coming here and being anyone I wanna be."
Ricky looked right at her, his face softer than ever, just staring right at her.
"When I was singing with you, I just... felt like... a girl."
A small smile appeared on his lips. His eyes were so warm and pure.
Nini swallowed hard, a lump forming in her throat because she couldn't stand the way he was looking at her.
It felt so real.
He chuckled— just a breathy, quiet little laugh that she adored.
"You even look like one, too," the joke slipped right off his lips like he was meant to be Troy Bolton.
She chuckled back softly, biting her lip.
"Do you remember in kindergarten... how you'd meet a kid and know nothing about them, then ten seconds later you're playing like you're best friends because you didn't have to be anything but yourself?"
He smiled harder, his lips still pressed together.
"Yeah," he breathed.
"Singing with you felt like that."
Their eyes were right on each other.
How could this not be real ?
Nini just kept wondering and wondering how someone could be so good at acting.
"Well, um..." he bit his lip, too. "I never thought about singing, that's for sure... until you."
That was true, too— it was true for Ricky Bowen.
He started this whole thing because of her.
He said that he only auditioned for the part of Troy Bolton because he wanted to win her back.
He said that he just wanted to prove his feelings for her.
What changed?
"Honestly, Nini," he broke character, breaking their intense gaze, "I think our chemistry is fine. At least right now... unless something's different in class?"
It was.
Because when they were in class— when they were around everyone else— she was constantly reminded of Gina.
When it was just the two of them, sometimes her mind tricked itself into thinking that Gina didn't exist in Ricky's world.
"What about the, um..." she started, swallowing hard. "What about the... kiss?"
The forbidden kiss.
Ricky had tried not to think about it, especially since he started hanging around Gina.
But he had to think about it now. Opening night was coming up too soon to pretend otherwise.
"I think we'll be fine, right?" he raised his eyebrows. "I just— I don't think we need to practice it. Do you?"
"It could be weird," she stared at the floor. "It could be a complete disaster. I feel like we should... at least once."
Nini hated herself for it.
She didn't expect to actually practice kissing Ricky.
Part of her just wanted to provoke him because she was suddenly reminded of Gina's existence.
He seemed more dodgy than usual and she obviously knew why.
"Nini," he sighed. "I just... I can't. And I don't think we should."
Suddenly, she felt angry.
She felt upset that he didn't even think of her as close enough of a friend to tell her anything.
Sure, Big Red said that he didn't want to hurt her, but noticing these small things and dwelling was killing her much more than Ricky just outright telling her.
"And why not?" she demanded. "It's just acting, Ricky. We're playing the parts that we're supposed to."
"I know, but..." he sighed again. "I'm sorry. I think we'll be fine on opening night, though. Maybe we could even do it at dress rehearsal. But not alone. It just... feels wrong."
"It's practice. If there's a reason that makes it awkward, why don't you just come out and say it?" she raised her eyebrows.
It was aggressive— she knew that.
It was unlike her— she knew that, too.
Everything just got so complicated so fast after this summer.
She thought that there was still something between her and Ricky, but suddenly Gina came into the picture and everything changed.
And he didn't want to tell her.
"You're the one who seems so upset lately," he began raising his voice. "If you have something that you're bothered about, why don't you tell me?"
She couldn't handle it anymore.
She just wanted everything to be on the table.
"I know about Gina," she blurted.
Ricky's eyes widened, the anger leaving his face. He just looked shocked.
"Did Big Red—"
"He didn't have to," Nini folded her arms. "You two aren't exactly the most discreet pair ever, contrary to what you might believe..."
He pressed his lips together.
"You can't be mad at me for this, can you?" he blinked several times, some of the anger returning to his face as he processed everything. "You're the one who called me 'buddy' and friendzoned me. When I put my heart on the table, you didn't give me anything back."
"What was I supposed to do, Nini?" he continued, arching his eyebrows. "Wait around for you forever until you changed your mind? You had to know I'd move on sooner or later."
"I didn't expect it to be... sooner," she snapped.
"You were gone one month and came back with a new boyfriend!" he cried. "You know how I felt seeing you with E.J. You can't be serious."
"Okay, I was out of line for that one. But I told you about E.J. as soon as we got back to school," she reminded. "You... lied. You've been sneaking around with Gina for... God knows how long."
Ricky squinted, folding his arms.
"I was bothered about E.J. because I still had feelings for you when I found out," he told her. "You friendzoned me, Nini. How can you be upset that I like someone else?"
She felt burning tears building up in her eyes.
God, she did not want to cry in front of him right now.
"Look, I can get over you not having feelings for me anymore... I guess I realized that I still do too late, and that's okay," she said, sighing. "But I thought we were friends, Ricky. At least. I thought you would tell me if you started going out with anyone else."
Ricky's face softened.
"We've been friends since kindergarten," she said, a tear streaming down her cheek. "and I hate that all of this has ruined our friendship. We were best friends, Ricky. Best friends. I thought that meant something to you."
"And it does," he said, stepping closer to her. "Nini, I am so sorry for how I handled this. Things have been so weird ever since we broke up. I guess it's just... hard to go back to being normal friends."
He bit his lip.
"I wanted to tell you about Gina. Genuinely," he assured her. "I was just so scared of hurting you or making things bad between us."
She knew her heart wanted to forgive him.
She felt like he deserved to be forgiven.
But there was still looming pain from all of this.
"Is it any better now?" she raised her eyebrows.
"Maybe. Maybe not— I don't know," he shrugged. "I don't know what I'm doing, Nini... I just know that I don't want to lose your friendship."
"I don't want to lose yours, either," she admitted.
He smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug.
She shut her eyes, hugging him right back.
It felt so good to be in his arms again— even if it was just as friends.
She knew she wasn't over him, but she would have to get used to being just friends.
She needed him in her life.
It was a slow process, but Nini started becoming okay with everything.
Ricky and Gina's relationship was no longer a secret— not to anyone at East High.
They started dating publicly soon after Nini revealed that she knew.
At first, it was hard to see the handholding and the quick pecks...
But she got used to it.
And she started hanging out with Ricky again.
She, Ricky, Big Red, and... Gina, actually.
The four of them would hang out all the time after rehearsals and on weekends.
She felt close to Ricky again especially.
She started to feel genuine happiness when Ricky told her about his relationship with Gina.
He would tell her about a gift he wanted to get her or a great date they had...
Nini was happy to see him happy, even if it was with someone else.
She even started to get closer with Gina.
She could see what Ricky saw in her.
Gina was beautiful, smart, witty, and funny. She was kind, too.
Nini liked hanging out with her a lot.
In fact, the two of them made mall trips alone sometimes.
Nini even started inviting her to hang out with her and Kourtney.
"I hope it's not weird," Ricky started one day when it was just him and Nini getting a coffee after school. "...but I wanna tell Gina that I love her soon."
Love.
It hurt because he was never able to say it to her.
In fact, it was a big part of the reason as to why they broke up in the first place.
But he was ready to say it to Gina so... fast.
"Are you sure?" Nini asked. "You guys have only been going out for a few months."
Ricky shrugged, "I know, but... I know I feel it. We just... get each other, you know? And I used to be scared of the word because of my parents, but... not anymore. Just because things didn't work out for my parents doesn't mean that I can't feel it."
Nini smiled.
It was bittersweet.
He loved Gina Porter now and that was more than okay.
He was finally able to overcome his fears about love because of his parents.
Nini was happy about that.
She was happy for him.
And she was happy to be as close as she used to be with him again.