Chapter Text
“...and that’s why you should vote for Jelly this election!”
The statement came with a rush of applause. Women and men alike swooning, calling to their paragon, desperately reaching out in a brazen attempt to even brush against the shadow-man. The man simply smiled, inky blackness forming a small mouth, eyes curving happily upwards. He stepped forwards, shaking the hands of his supporters with a grin and a tight grip, causing a not-insignificant number of them to faint where they stood. He continued on, beginning to head down the street to his bicycle, which he rode quickly away, neon-yellow light tracing a path through Eastrop Park.
Riding swiftly, the incredibly attractive man parked on the side of the rode as a tingling sound echoed through the deserted path he’d chosen. Reaching into his trousers, he pulled out his phone and checked his notifications. It seems that his opponent had also given a speech, and his mood soured as he watched the video. He listened to the lies spouted by the enemy, shaking his head and frowning at his device, when he saw something. Backing up the video, he squinted and upped his brightness, focusing on a spot just behind the assailant... there! He stumbled backwards in shock, the paused screen innocently glaring up at him. Hastily clambering to his feet, he looked again, and struggled to keep his composure. Behind the leg of the speaking man, a long, thick, green appendage could be seen, the tip just slipping out his trouser leg. A tail. Gasping, he rode back to his campaign office with great, even more urgently than before.
Once he arrived, he gathered his troops and showed them the video. A plucky young volunteer fainted at the discovery, but was roused by the smelling salts the office kept on hand for situations like this. One of the regular campaign volunteers let out a loud “I knew it!” whilst another began digging through the internet for more clues.
“We have a full scale invasion - Code Red!” Jelly yelled, his crew whipping into action. “Gather the squadrons! Our investigation can finally bear some fruit!” He spun and hit a button, cunningly concealed by a tray of condoms. The room began whirring, whiteboards flipping and screens flashing. Heavy duty shutters blocked all light, and the eco-friendly generator activated, disconnecting the office from any outside connections. Now that the room was sealed, he took a moment to review his investigation. A picture of a brief flash of subliminal messaging during a Conservative Party broadcast. A shaky polaroid, portraying metal parts going into a purple-coloured warehouse, and identical, synthetic-looking figures emerging from the other side. A smattering of multi-hued string, linking prominent Classical Liberals with the subliminal messaging. All these images were centred around one thing - a framed picture of the Conservative Leader, eyes flared with a strange, unearthly red shine. From the sideline, the fainting-intern rushed to Jelly’s side, a heavy-duty phone clutched in one hand. He grabbed it, nodding his thanks as she rushed back to her station.
“A spectre is haunting Hampshire...” he spoke, waiting for the coded reply.
“The spectre is Conservatism.” Came the response, and Jelly quickly brought the other up to speed. “I’ll call in Labour and the Greens. Don’t worry, Jelly, you can deal with this.”
“They’re tricking innocent people, Dylan!” Jelly responded, running a hand through his hair. “The hypnosis, the lies, the robots, the speeches... they’re all linked! How didn’t we see this before!?”
“It isn’t your fault, Jelly. We never suspected the lizards - nobody did.” Sighing, Jelly nodded to himself, before bidding his husband and Leader a fond farewell. He turned to his troops, who looked up at him, eager. One was holding a laptop, screen facing away from her, displaying both a beefy man draped in vines and an old, withered woman, clutching a wooden staff.
“We have five days before the election - we need to quell the invasion by then. Gather your allies, for we start tomorrow, in Andover. We will cut their legions off by the source. We will destroy the LPUK base of operations!”
The room erupted in cheers - the revolution against the evil lizard overlords had finally begun!