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A sharp pain shooting through Nayeon's chest made her stir. Her hand unconsciously reaching out to the skin right below her collarbone. It was itchy and it stung. Her eyes slowly opened, sleep was nowhere to be found with the pain that she was feeling right now. Her eyes darted to the alarm right next to her.
03:16 AM.
She could only groan out in frustration as she realized what was about to happen. In a minute or so the clock would signal that time had passed, that she had been alive for exactly eighteen years. She should see it as a good thing because that was exactly what it was too many. A good thing. The mark that was slowly making its way onto her chest was a sign. It told her that she had a soulmate.
As a little girl, Nayeon had always dreamed of this moment. Everyone did. The second you turned eighteen that one painful name would be written on your body. But getting that mark wasn't a luxury everyone would get. She had heard the stories of people who had waited hours for the name to appear. They had woken up for that one special moment, but days had followed with no name in sight.
Nayeon figured that that would be better. To have no name at all. She figured that you could still find comfort in the people who didn't have a soulmate either. You could have a soulmate, but to have them reciprocate your feelings was not always a given. Your soulmate could already be in love with someone else, not everyone grew up with the same beliefs. Not everyone believed in the fate of soulmates, they didn't believe in a lifelong bond that was already set up for them. But them not having the same beliefs was something that didn't scare her the most. You could always change someone's view on something. You could always show them that you were worth falling in love with.
No, there was only one thing that scared Nayeon, and that was looking down and seeing that the mark had turned grey. Because that color showed that there was no possibility to meet your soulmate. No possibility for the two souls to unite. That soul had already passed.
The pain got sharper, and Nayeon could only let out low grunts while she tried to endure it. She felt her entire body covered in sweat as she tried to steady her breathing.
And just like that, the pain was gone. She let her head fall back against her pillow with a deep sigh. Nayeon felt conflicted, she wanted to look down more than anything, but she was scared that she would be met with a color that she didn't want to see- no, scratch that. She had to see.
An unfamiliar feeling settled in her stomach when she saw the letters written down onto her chest. It was too much for her, the entire thing was so overwhelming. The thought of having someone out there, linked to her by fate, someone who she would have this incredibly strong bond with was such a weird thing to think about. Especially when she had no clue who that name belonged to.
Because who the fuck was Yoo Jeongyeon?
-
"Just drop it, I'm not telling any of you," Nayeon said again while she took a bite out of her apple.
It seemed like lunch was yet again the time to bring up the topics of soulmates, which immediately resulted in the usual questions she got. Nayeon hadn't mentioned the name of her soulmate to any of her friends, not even when she had gotten to school the day after with seven hopeful gazes already staring at her. She remembered rolling her eyes at them, had only told them that, yes, a mark had shown and, no, I'm not telling you the name. She had dropped the conversation after as she ignored the countless protests.
Talking about soulmates wasn't a problem for her, it never had been before at least. She liked the idea of having someone out there who was destined to have a bond with her as much as it scared her. She had seen single handly how Sana and Dahyun had made it work. Her eyes dropped to Sana's palm, observing the small lettering of Dahyun's name on the inside. It made her light to see that they had made it work. Especially because they had found each other long before Sana had gotten her mark, and no one doubted that Dahyun would show up with Sana's name when she turned of age. But that wasn't the same for Nayeon. She didn't know who her soulmate was, and the thought of having to possibly spend years to find her made her anxious. Made her rethink if it was worth it. The what-ifs that came with getting a soulmate had terrified Nayeon more than she had hoped.
"Honestly," Chaeyoung had started, "I think it's one of us. I mean, why else keep it a secret?"
Nayeon let out a snort. Never in a million years would she picture herself with any of her friends in that way. No, every friend of hers was strictly platonic and the thought of going there made her sick to her stomach. Except for Momo, it would be hypocritical to be grossed out by her after the times they spend together on extremely drunken nights.
Momo happily bit away from her sandwich when she turned her attention to her side, "Is that why we stopped hooking up? Are you afraid that you'll fall for me?"
She faked a gag as she pushed her to the side, "It's not you, don't you worry about that." She said, turning her gaze to look around the table. "And very luckily for me, none of you either."
"Wouldn't it be funny if it was Jihyo?" Sana chuckled, "I mean I can see it, the way they argue to the way they would make it up with hot, steamy-"
"What about me?" Jihyo cut in while she took the seat next to Sana, a girl lingered behind her and Jihyo motioned for her to sit down as well. Two trays of food were laid down on the table as Jihyo looked at them. Nayeon's eyes were drawn to the girl who had sat down next to her. She recognized her from somewhere. Wasn't she in her math class? No, was it gymnastics? Jihyo followed Nayeon's gaze, "Oh! Sorry, this Yoo Jeongyeon, she transferred here at the start of the year,"
It was like whatever Jihyo said after her name didn't register with her. The name has completely struck her. Yoo Jeongyeon. It couldn't be, right? A strange feeling settled and Nayeon could feel the air around her getting sucked out of the room.
She couldn't look away and at the same time, she needed to. It was getting harder for her to breathe, and she had to leave. "I- bathroom, I'll be back."
Yoo Jeongyeon. "Fuck."
-
Weeks passed and it seemed like escaping Jeongyeon was impossible. The girl had quickly fallen into the group of friends like she had always been in it. Which wasn't a surprise to her, to be honest. The girl had a sense of humor that only Chaeyoung seemed to understand, but other than that she was great. She was kind and open, and Nayeon quickly realized that she couldn't not be friends with her.
To add on that, Jeongyeon shared most of her classes with her and Momo. The way she made sure to help them in class only showed her more and more that she was a good person. And maybe being her soulmate wasn't that bad after all.
But then she remembered the possible heartbreak that could come with it. What if she wasn't Jeongyeon's soulmate? What if she didn't care about them? What if she wanted her soulmate to be platonic? And it wasn't like she could just go up to her like, oh, hey Jeong! I forgot to say that we're soulmates? Have a nice day. It didn't work like that, even though she wanted it to so badly.
More often than not, she found herself wondering about the girl. It was innocent but it proved to her how much effect she was already having on her life. Simple situations she felt herself overthinking, hoping that there would be more to it. As simple as her asking her for her last name.
"Nayeon? Can I ask you something?" Jeongyeon sat as their shoulders bumped into each other while they walked to their next class.
Nayeon simply nodded, suddenly felt herself unable to speak when their arms touched. A smile was on Jeongyeon's face as she spoke, "What's your last name? I never got it,"
Her mind immediately set itself to think about all the reasons why she would need her last name, but she still managed to answer. "Im,"
Jeongyeon beamed, "Thanks,"
And with that, the pair walked into their class, and the moment was gone. Jeongyeon never mentioned it again, and it only made Nayeon think about how pathetic she was for considering that it could have a different meaning. That it would make a difference to them if she had known her last name. It was pitiful.
Or the time she had asked her about her soulmate. Confirmed that she had known her own as well.
A chuckle came from Jeongyeon and it only made Nayeon more anxious as she scanned the paper, "I don't know why you pretend like you're bad at math when you just solved this equation in your first try."
"To spend time with you, of course." Nayeon grinned, it was playful and she had never said it if it wasn't for the laugh the other led out. It wasn't exactly flirting what she had been doing but she felt herself saying stuff like that more often now. She was getting more comfortable around Jeongyeon, and even though it frightened her, it was now starting to feel like it was normal. Laying next to Jeongyeon on a twin size bed while doing their math homework no longer came with worry about her being her soulmate. In fact, it was starting to feel like it was exactly where she was meant to be. Which was way scarier if she started thinking about it.
Jeongyeon's laugh brought her back, "Don't flirt with me too easily. Your soulmate might get jealous."
She wished. "I don't think that's going to happen." Nayeon replied with a snort, "But wait, did I really solve it? You mean equations are that easy?"
"Yeah, you did," Jeongyeon stated. "I don't know about easy but they become easier to solve when you realize how. Something inside your brain just has to click, I guess."
Nayeon turned herself on her stomach, hands underneath her head as she stared at the girl. Jeongyeon's back met the headboard of the bed while she looked back. "Couldn't have done it without you. Thanks, Yoo."
"Hm, just pay the invoice on time," Jeongyeon replied,
"You should be paying me for my presence," They both smiled at each other, but it was quiet after that. Nayeon's gaze stayed stuck on her while it seemed like the younger still had something on her mind. "What's on your mind?"
"I-" She started, suddenly looking very vulnerable as she looked up from her lap. "Can I ask you something about soulmates?"
Don't go there. Do not. "Sure,"
"Do you believe in them?"
"You mean, do I believe in the fact that there is someone out there who I'm supposed to have this incredibly deep and lifelong bond with? Yeah, I want to, but I don't know." Nayeon said with a shrug as she thought about it. "I mean, almost sound too good to be true, right?"
Jeongyeon nodded, eyes on the wall in front of her, "Kinda,"
"But then, it doesn't only come with happiness. Having a soulmate can hurt in so many ways. There are so many possibilities to get hurt," Nayeon answered, "So is it really such a good? When you don't even have the certainty of meeting that person?" She pursed her lips as she continued, "It's cruel, and so is the world. So yeah, I believe in soulmates."
"Is that why you haven't told anyone about which name you have on your skin?" Jeongyeon asked, making Nayeon turn her gaze to her for yet another time that night. "Because you don't know the person behind the name?"
"No," Nayeon said as she shook her head, "I mean, I'd like to think that I know her well enough now."
Jeongyeon seemed to think about what to say for a while before she spoke, looking right at Nayeon. Something that she hadn't done ever since they started talking about the topic. "I'm friends with my soulmate too,"
Nayeon tilted her head at that, the other hadn't mentioned her finding out about her mark in front of them before. But she couldn't speak up, not with the way she was looking right at her. It almost seemed like this was the moment, the moment where either would confess about being each other's soulmate. Almost. In the blink of the eye, their moment was broken, and Jeongyeon changed the conversation.
She couldn't pretend that her stomach didn't drop at that. Or, she wasn't her soulmate, or she didn't want her to be. And it made life so much more difficult.
-
Realizing that Jeongyeon had mattered more to her than she had thought she would wasn't a hard thing to do. Realizing that she the feelings that she had for, was strangely not so hard either.
It was now February, their second semester had just started and they had kicked it off with yet another party. A party that she hadn't even wanted to go to. Her view on parties changed when her mark appeared, there was no longer this desire in her to get intoxicated and to make out with whoever there was, forgetting all about it the day after.
Yet here she was, sitting with a beer in her hand while she watched her soulmate talk to whoever that she was talking to. Knew that the only reason why she was there was because she was too. Watching her kind of made her angry, kind of made her feel selfish for wanting her when she had no right to feel so. But then she turned around with this big grin on her face that felt like it was only reserved for her. Felt like everything in the room stopped as she held Jeongyeon's gaze. The feeling inside her chest became so intense that it no longer felt like anyone was around her. Only her and her soulmate.
There was this sudden need in her that made her want to get up, to walk over to her and to stay as close as she could. To pull her in by her hips and to place her lips against the others. It felt like time wasn't moving and that they were inside their own world. Together.
The couch dipped, and she was softly shoved making the moment break. Her eyes felt dry as she blinked, and when she looked up, Jeongyeon was gone. And Nayeon realized something. "What are you doing here, loner?"
"Jeongyeon is my soulmate," Nayeon frowned, never knew that speaking the words would make her feel so good. She turned her head to meet Momo's gaze. "And I'm in love with her."
Nayeon remembers the day after the party clearly, the way she had woken up with thousands of texts from the other girl telling her to make a move. She had even gotten Mina into it, swore that she had accidentally spilled it out of excitement, but Nayeon knew deep down why she had. No one could say no to Mina.
And she tried. Nayeon liked to say she did. It was just so hard. Every time she had tried to ask her out something she had just shut down.
The nervous in Nayeon's stomach hadn't settled ever since she told herself that she was going for it. She was going to ask Jeongyeon out, and with that, she could confess about her being her soulmate. She had imagined the entire scene in her head, had barely caught any sleep over it.
She tensely stood next to the girl as she took a few of her books out of her locker. It was now or never. "Jeong?"
"Yeah?" Jeongyeon closed her locker with a grin as she handed the books to Nayeon. The younger turned around and Nayeon put the books in her backpack before zipping it up.
"I was wondering if," She started, but then Jeongyeon turned around and the way she was looking at her seemed to suck all the air out of her lungs. Not today. "If you could tell miss Kim that I'm a bit later? Ladies' problems."
Jeongyeon frowned and the sight made Nayeon want to jump off a bridge. "Do you want me to come with you?"
"No that's fine. See you later!" Coward.
Or something had ruined it.
Moments like these were the ones Nayeon cherished. Just the two of them in Jeongyeon's house while she silently played with the younger her hair. She had laid her head down onto Nayeon's lap in the middle of the movie, and all that she could do was let out a sigh of contentment. "Jeong? I... I want to go on a date with you. A real one, just the two of us."
The only answers she got were soft snores signaling that the younger had drifted off to sleep. Another time - if there ever was going to be one.
And the one time she had gotten up all her confidence, she just didn't catch on.
Recognizing Jeongyeon in a crowd seemed to be a thing Nayeon was perfect at. She walked into the cafeteria to spend her free period with the other girl. She stood behind her as she watched whatever had gotten Jeongyeon's attention. Carefully took out one of her earphones as she spoke, "What are you looking at?"
'Shit, you scared me," Jeongyeon breathed out, making her laugh. Nayeon took a seat on the opposite side of the table as the younger out her phone down. "I was watching a trailer. There's this movie coming out soon that I really want to see."
"Oh, cool," Nayeon smiled as she nodded, and before she could think she had already spoken again. "I'll take you."
Jeongyeon's eyebrow quirked up, "You want to watch a Marvel movie with me? Didn't you hate those?"
Nayeon cringed at the mention of the movie but still shrugged. "Anything for you,"
"Ok, we can go together," Jeongyeon said with amusement. "We should ask Mina and Jihyo to go with us. They want to go as well."
Now, don't get her wrong, it wasn't like she didn't want her friends to come with, but she had just wanted to go with her. As a date. "Oh, I meant-"
"Wait, I'm just going to text them."
Maybe that proved something, with all those tries, Nayeon figured that she just wasn't into her. That they hadn't shared the same feelings.
-
She was the last one in the locker room as she put her entire locker in a heap, searching for her shirt. She could only let out puffs of frustration as threw everything to the side, looking into her locker while she stood there in her bra and shorts. She was already having a bad morning, not only had she ran late, she had to start her day with gymnastics. Her stomach rumbled as she remembered that she had to skip breakfast to come remotely close to being on time. Nayeon was grateful that everyone had already left the room, running late also meant that she had no time to cover her mark with foundation. Her hands went into her hair out of frustration. "Fuck, where did I leave it?"
Gym shoes screeched tapped behind her making Nayeon's body tense, and then the person spoke. "Lost something?"
The fact that someone had walked in was enough to make her worried about discovering the mark, but her entire body stiffened when she heard too who the voice belonged to. And then the person chuckled, "You left it at my house last time. I wanted to give it to you when you arrived but you were late so I already went in."
"Oh," Nayeon mumbled, her cheeks heating up at the idea of her soulmate staring at her almost naked back. Her gaze was focused on the blue sports drink in her locker, wondering how long it had already been in there. She probably didn't want to know. She cleared her throat to speak, "Just lay it down on the bench, I'll pick it up in a minute."
"Just turn around and take it, I'm holding it out for you," Jeongyeon said, but when Nayeon didn't move, a laugh followed. "Don't tell me that you're embarrassed about changing in front of me."
"It's not that," Nayeon spoke, her voice softer than usual. Her hands clenched the metal of the locker as she felt her heartbeat pick up, right where the black lines traced her skin.
She heard the footsteps, heard that she came closer. Which was proven when Jeongyeon spoke, words hitting her ear. "Just turn around, we change in front of each other all the time."
"I'm not-" Nayeon started, but she was starting to get frustrated. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable, she just didn't want to spill her secret. "Just leave first."
"Come on," Jeongyeon laughed, "Don't be silly. It's not a big deal."
"To me it is."
"Why?" Nayeon's strange behavior seemed to worry her. "Wait, are you hiding something? Did someone hurt you? I swear to God if someone put their hands on you I'll-"
"No, none of that," Nayeon responded immediately. She didn't want to worry her or let her get the wrong idea. Jeongyeon was frowning as she looked at her. "Why are you frowning?"
She hadn't even realized what she had done, or the fact that she had seen whatever she was wearing until she followed the other her gaze. Mouth open as she stared at her chest. Now, in any other situation, she might find this unflattering, might even make a snarky remark about how she was staring. But she couldn't. There was too much on the line.
There it was, both staring at the ink that she had tried to hide ever since it appeared. Ever since she came into her life. The name Yoo Jeongyeon was written perfectly underneath her collarbone.
"You-" She started, but it seemed like she was at loss for words. "That's my name."
Nayeon's hand reached up to her neck as she awkwardly scratched the skin. "Uh, surprise? You're my soulmate?"
"Yeah, no shit." Jeongyeon laughed. And then suddenly the room was filled with laughter. "God, I can't believe this."
"Look, I'm sorry. The day we met I panicked over it and ever since I've been panicking over it and I won't make a move or anything. I get it, you don't reciprocate those feelings and that's perfectly fine I'm-" Nayeon's ramble was suddenly caught off when two hands placed themselves on both sides of her cheeks. She could feel her eyes widen. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to kiss you." Jeongyeon simply stated as she moved in, her lips perfectly hitting Nayeon's in a delicate kiss. There wasn't much to say about the kiss other than that it had been exactly what she had been craving. It had no intention to go anywhere, it just showed the passion they both had for each other, how much they craved each other. Their lips slowly moved against each other and Nayeon felt that familiar feeling pick up again. Love. She was in love with the girl in front of her.
When the kiss broke, Nayeon spoke up first, Still a bit in a haze from it. "What did you do that for?"
"Don't you understand?" Jeongyeon laughed, and all she could do was frown as she shook her head. Jeongyeon huffed, her hands reached out to the hem of her shirt as she pulled it over her head.
Nayeon's eyes widened, "Okay, champ! I don't know what idea you have but we just kissed and I'm definitely not moving that- Oh."
Her cheeks heat up as realized that Jeongyeon had turned around, her back showing the same ink she had on her front. There it was, the same ink. Just a different name. Nayeon's breath hitched as she read it.
Im Nayeon
"Surprise? You're my soulmate too," Jeongyeon laughed, "I don't know how you haven't caught on but I've been panicking to Jihyo about my feelings for months now and-"
And just like Nayeon wasn't allowed to finish her rant, so was Jeongyeon. Their lips meeting each other in yet another kiss, as she moved the younger to sit on the bench, Nayeon taking a seat on her lap as legs settled on both side of the younger.
Maybe soulmates weren't that bad after all, Nayeon thought as she kissed her in the locker room. Both painfully unaware that they still hadn't put their shirts back on.