Chapter Text
“Rey?”
Rey looked up from the worn book lying in her lap. Rose Tico was peering around a pile of crates at her, concern written on her face.
An expression Rey was becoming all too used to seeing these days.
She forced a smile for her friend. “Yeah, Rose?”
Rose walked towards her. “Are you still reading? It’s pretty late.”
Rey looked up at the night sky of Ajan Kloss. It was clear, she could see countless tiny stars. Her eyes unfocused as she stared at the brightest one.
“Rey?”
“Yeah—I’ll turn in soon.” Rey shook her head and glanced at Rose, then the book.
“I’m worried about you, Rey.” Rose’s voice was quiet.
“I’m fine, Rose,” Rey replied, not looking up from the book.
“I heard you talking in your sleep last night.”
Rey froze, her eyes still on the page.
Rose hesitated before continuing. “Are you talking with Luke Skywalker? Is that it?”
“Something like that.” Rey avoided the question.
“You can see him?” Rose’s voice was awed.
“Only in dreams,” Rey whispered. She closed the book and put it back with the other Jedi texts. She stood up and walked to Rose.
Rose nodded at the discarded book. “Interesting reading?” she asked, sensing that Rey didn’t want to talk about it anymore. That was something Rey liked about Rose: she was observant. And kind, such a good friend. Guilt struck at Rey. She didn’t deserve Rose.
“Always with the Jedi texts,” smiled Rey as the two woman slowly walked back to the Falcon together.
“I can’t imagine what kind of pressure you’re under, Rey,” Rose’s voice was quiet. “The powers you have—I wouldn’t know what to do with them.”
“You’d do just as well as me, Rose,” Rey returned. “In fact, even better, I think.”
“Oh no,” Rose’s voice was a mix of horror and awe. “No way, Rey. I could never do the things I’ve seen you do.”
Rey laughed. “The Force isn’t about lifting rocks,” she said, smirking at the stars as though she imagined someone was laughing at a joke with her. “It’s in all of us, Rose. You, me, Finn, the trees, the stars; it surrounds and guides all of us.”
“Well, I’m glad it chose you to be the one who can lift rocks,” laughed Rose.
Rey frowned at Rose’s flippancy. She wasn’t sure she shared the sentiment.
Rey and Rose reached the Falcon’s lowered ramp.
“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in the bunkers with us, Rey?” asked Rose, worried again.
Rey shook her head. “No, Rose. I’m more comfortable in the Falcon.”
“Well, if you’re sure . . .” said Rose, still uncertain.
“I am,” said Rey firmly. “Good night, Rose. And thank you.” She hugged her friend.
“For what?” asked Rose.
“For caring,” answered Rey simply. She stepped back from the hug. “Say good night to Finn for me.”
Rose turned scarlet. “Um, yes, of course,” she stammered. Rey had to hide her smile. “Good night, Rey. Pleasant dreams.”
Rey’s smile faded, thinking of the low likelihood of her experiencing any of those tonight.
***
She didn’t sleep in the Resistance quarters anymore because she’d had too many close calls before. Of people thinking she was talking in her sleep.
But she was really awake, and she wasn’t talking to herself.
At least their . . . connections had shifted towards the nighttime. At least she didn’t have any awkward moments mid-training with General Leia or eating lunch with Finn, Poe and Rose anymore. She’d almost spat out a mouthful of green milk when he’d suddenly appeared in front of her wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Her friends couldn’t understand why she’d turned burning red. No: it was better seeing him at night, when she could avoid him via sleep; although she knew he was still watching her, because Supreme Leader Kylo Ren never seemed to sleep.
As she did every night, she felt his presence as she tiredly dragged herself up the Falcon’s ramp. Cold, alive, making her feel less empty.
Sure enough, the first thing Rey saw was Kylo Ren’s back as she walked into the Falcon’s bed-quarters. He was leaning forward, his hands pressed down on what Rey assumed was a table in a First Order ship, but appeared to be thin air to her, his weight supported by nothing at all. He noticed her as she walked in—of course—and nodded at her. Rey just sighed as she sat down in the bed. She wondered if he saw her as sitting down on nothing in his Star Destroyer—or wherever he was.
She suspected he wasn’t alone, as he hadn’t acknowledged her beyond that first nod. The Supreme Leader didn’t want to be seen talking to a wall while his officers or the Knights of Ren were present. Rey was too tired to wonder which it was as she pulled off her socks and lifted her feet under the covers. She felt his eyes keep jumping back to her. Whoever he was listening to, he wasn’t giving them much attention.
“No, Hux,” Kylo spoke—ah, so it was Hux then—his voice low and gravelly. Rey closed her eyes, trying to block him out and go to sleep. It hardly ever worked, but maybe she could make him think she was asleep.
Although, she suspected her acting never fooled Kylo.
“I don’t think they’re on Hoth,” Kylo continued. He paused, perhaps listening to Hux’s response. “I think they’re on a warmer planet.”
Probably deciphered from the type of clothes she was wearing, reflected Rey.
“I have my ways,” snapped Kylo. “They’re not. On Hoth. I won’t have you question me, Hux.”
Rey rolled her eyes at the tone of authority Kylo took. She felt his eyes on her and hoped he had noticed.
Kylo abruptly turned away from Rey—and Hux presumably. “Leave me, Hux,” he said. “We’ll talk about this later. Follow other leads. On warmer planets.”
Rey imagined Hux leaving the room after sneering down his nose at Kylo in the most obvious death stare.
“I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to kill you yet,” she called out, eyes fixed on the Falcon’s ceiling.
A twinge in her cheek made Rey wonder if Kylo had smirked.
Kylo stayed facing away from her. Rey wondered if he was looking at a screen, a map of star systems, wondering which she was on.
The Resistance. Not just her, the Resistance.
Rey closed her eyes and pulled her blanket over her ear. She’d stayed out too late again: she was cold. Especially in her feet. She tucked them up under her to try to warm them up faster.
“Oh, come on.”
Rey opened her eyes.
A very irritated Kylo Ren was stomping towards her, undoing the belt of his tunic. Rey’s eyes widened.
“It’s not just you, you know. I feel it too when you’re freezing cold. You could at least try to stay warm for my sake,” he scowled at her, pulling off his shirt. But he was wearing a thin black—of course black—sweater underneath his usual thick tunic. He tossed his shirt at Rey. She reflectively caught it and stared at the warm material in her hands.
“Put this on,” he ordered. “Please.”
Rey awkwardly sat up and wrapped Kylo’s shirt around her. Oh. It was so warm. The sleeves were so thick and the front was padded. She tried not to grin too wide at the warmth Kylo’s shirt provided.
“Are you sure you’re not on Hoth?” Kylo mumbled, walking back to his invisible desk.
“I never said I wasn’t,” Rey retorted, her fingers clumsily doing up the buttons of his tunic.
“Hmm,” was all Kylo said, his attention focused back on whatever was in front of him that Rey couldn’t see.
Rey stared at Kylo. The black undershirt hung loosely on him. It was a strangely casual look for the Supreme Leader. Her eyes drifted to where the material rested on his shoulders, his muscles taut and shown off by how the shirt fit on him, his black hair curling at the nape of his neck…
Kylo turned his head to meet her eyes.
“What are you thinking?” he asked her.
Rey cast her eyes downward. “Nothing,” she lied, lying back down and pulling the blankets up to her chin.
“Tell me,” he said, his voice low but soft.
Rey closed her eyes.
Kylo swore under his breath.
“Rey.”
She didn’t open her eyes.
“Why won’t you tell me?” He was getting annoyed now.
Rey didn’t answer.
Kylo gave a low growl in frustration. “How about this: you answer me and I’ll answer any question you want to ask me.”
Rey’s eyes opened.
“Any question?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Truthfully?” Rey pressed.
“Have I ever lied to you before?” he asked.
Rey raised an eyebrow. But then she sat up.
“I was just looking at you,” she said. “You look smaller without your tunic.”
Kylo furrowed his brow. Rey clenched her fists under the covers, willing her cheeks not to go red.
“My turn,” she said before he could speak. “What were you thinking when you killed Snoke?”
Kylo looked surprised, all thought of his question gone—thankfully. “When I killed Snoke? What do you mean?”
“Why did you do it?” Rey specified her question firmly.
“To be free of him,” Kylo said simply. “He was holding me back. And hurting you.”
“Did that have anything to do with it?” asked Rey quietly.
“Wha—of course it did. Do you think I walked into that throne room with any intention of hurting you, Rey?” Kylo was shocked.
Rey shrugged.
“No, I didn’t.” Kylo sounded aghast that she could think that. He stepped towards her. “I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to do, walking in there, but there was never any question of my hurting you—or not killing Snoke.”
Rey shifted in her bed. “I think you used me,” she said quietly. “To kill the guards. And distract Snoke.”
“I wanted to rule the galaxy with you, Rey,” Kylo stated point-blank. “If I was just ‘using you,’ why would I offer you half of something that could have been entirely mine?”
“Well, it is entirely yours now,” mumbled Rey.
“Not through any fault of my own,” Kylo reminded her. They were both silent for a beat. Then Kylo asked, “Can I ask you another one?”
“Go for it,” allowed Rey.
“Are you sitting on a bed?”
“Um,” it was not at all what she had been expecting. “Yes? Why?”
“Hmm, I wonder . . .” Kylo advanced towards her. Uncertain, Rey moved back a bit towards the back of the bed. Very slowly, Kylo lifted a leg and sat down beside Rey on the bed. He frowned at the blankets as he crossed his legs underneath him.
“Can you see my surroundings?” asked Rey.
“No; from my point of view, right now I’m sitting on nothing.” Kylo looked around him. “It is very disconcerting.”
“You were leaning on thin air earlier,” Rey told him. “From my point of view. That looked strange.”
“How does this bond work?” mumbled Kylo, more to himself than Rey.
“Can I ask you another question?” queried Rey, unconsciously moving closer to Kylo.
His deep brown eyes stared into hers. “Yes,” he said in a voice quieter than Rey suspected he intended.
Shaking away her blush, Rey refocused on Kylo’s face. “Are you happy?” she asked.
“Happy?” Kylo said the word like it was a foreign concept. “No.” Like it was a given.
“I didn’t think so. Then why. Why are you doing this?” Rey tried to trap Kylo’s wandering eyes with her own. “Why didn’t you come back with me after you killed Snoke?”
“I have no place in the Resistance, Rey,” Kylo sounded tired of the question. “You know that.”
“Leia would disagree,” said Rey firmly.
“Is it my turn again?” asked Kylo, evading the topic of his mother. “What were you thinking on Crait, when you shut the Falcon’s door on me?”
“You wonder about that?” asked Rey dryly.
“I do.” His voice was earnest. “It’s one of the things that keeps me from sleeping.”
“What are some of the others?” questioned Rey.
“Ah-ah-ah, it’s my turn,” Kylo held up a finger.
Rey rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. “So if I answer you, you might sleep at night and not bother me?” she asked.
“Possibly,” shrugged Kylo. “Damn it, Rey. You’re not very good at this game.”
“A game? This is a game? Are you calling me a bad sport?” Rey raised an eyebrow quizzically.
“Are you avoiding answering all of my questions?” Kylo raised one of his own.
Rey looked down at her hands twisting the blanket in her lap. “I wasn’t really thinking anything,” she said quietly. “Just…feeling. A lot of things. Disappointment. Indifference. Resolve. Or maybe nothing at all. Maybe I was trying not to feel anything.”
“You do do that a lot,” noted Kylo dryly, but his voice was strained.
“Like you’re any different,” scoffed Rey.
“Oh, no. I am different. I do feel things, I just try very hard not to show them,” Kylo’s voice was intense.
“Like what?” Rey tried to ask lightly, but it came out very quiet.
“Is that your next question?” queried Kylo.
“I want to know,” Rey said, still quietly but now firmly. She looked up, meeting Kylo’s gaze.
Kylo’s eyes moved around Rey’s face—from her eyes, to her mouth, back to her eyes again. His mouth was trembling and he seemed to be struggling to put his thoughts into words.
“It hurts me,” he blurted out. “It hurts me—to think that—that you…don’t think I…care…about you. I can’t comprehend how you could think that. After…everything.”
Rey couldn’t look at him anymore. Her eyes darted back to her lap, rapidly blinking to stop tears from overflowing.
“I do care about you, Rey,” Kylo said quietly. “I know you might hate me, but it’s important to me that you know that—”
“I don’t hate you,” Rey interrupted him, still staring at her hands. “Ben,” she added.
Kylo let out a shaky breath.
“Is it my turn again?” she asked. She didn’t look up to see if he responded. “How do you feel about me…calling you that?”
“Ben?” It was so strange to hear Kylo say his real name. Rey peeked up to see his brow furrow. “I don’t…I don’t mind.”
Rey thought about that.
“My turn,” Kylo’s voice was low. “Can I—can I…touch you?” The last two words were barely audible, his voice becoming so deep.
Rey looked at him.
“Yes.”
Kylo’s gloved hand stretched out towards Rey with a slight tremble. Hesitantly, the tips of his fingers brushed the outside of her own resting in her lap. He pulled his hand back quickly, but Rey reached out hers and pulled him back by hooking her fingers around one of his. She brought their hands to rest in her lap. Kylo stroked her bare ankle with his pinky finger.
Kylo was physically shaking now, but Rey felt strangely calm. She reached out her free hand to touch his arm, trying to send some of her own serenity into him. She moved her thumb over the thin material of his sweater, feeling his arm underneath. She imagined it bare—pale, warm, under her thumb. Actually feeling the heat from his body that clung to her in his shirt around her shoulders.
She met his eyes and offered a slight smile. She gave an exaggerated breath out, allowing him to sync his breathing with hers. That seemed to help Kylo. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and let out a breath between his pursed red lips. Rey gazed at them hungrily.
When Kylo opened his eyes, they were full of new resolve. He inched a bit closer to her, so that his knees were touching hers. Rey dropped her arm touching his. Kylo reached out his free hand towards her arm. Uncertain, Rey watched its movement as his hand finally closed around the band hiding the scar on her upper arm. He gently caressed it with his thumb. Rey sucked in a breath.
“How is it?” he asked her. “The scar,” he specified, thankfully before Rey could make an embarrassing response. “From the Praetorian guard.”
“It’s—it’s healing fine,” panted Rey, annoyingly overwhelmed by the feeling of his leather fingers on her bare skin.
“I was planning on dressing the wound,” Kylo mused, as he gently tugged Rey’s arm this way and that. “Snoke kept a medical kit in a compartment under his throne. But things took a…different route.”
“It’s fine,” Rey repeated herself stupidly.
With the flick of a finger, Kylo undid the band covering her scar. It fell on the bed beside Rey. But then he let go of her arm, confusing—disappointing—Rey. Kylo brought his hand to his mouth, his teeth closing around the tip of his glove’s fabric on his middle finger and pulled it off with his mouth.
Oh. He wanted to touch her. With bare hands.
He spat the inside-out glove onto the floor and reached for Rey’s arm again. His fingers were cool, callused, as he traced the outline of her faded, but permanent scar. A small smile creased his face.
“What?” asked Rey.
“It looks a bit like two hands, reaching for each other,” he noted.
Rey smirked. “I have noticed that before,” she said. And when she had, it had made her feel angry—empty. But now that Kylo—no, the glove was off and he was being gentle—Ben was here, it seemed funny. No hole in her chest.
Ben’s hand easily fit around Rey’s arm. He dragged his hand all the way down to hers and intertwined their fingers. Rey beamed at Ben, massaging his thumb with her own.
“Rey,” asked Ben. “Can I get even closer?”
Rey nodded.
Ben moved nearer and lay his head down in Rey’s lap.
Rey gasped loudly.
But Ben’s intentions were more innocent than what Rey’s mind had immediately jumped to. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer; hugging her. With the blanket in-between them, his head rested on her lap. He gave a contented sigh.
Her hands had shot up in shock when he had stuck his head…there and now they hung in the air, suspended. Rey looked down at Ben’s head in her lap, his curly black hair in tufts all over his head.
And stuck her hands in it.
Ben’s hair was so soft. So fine, Rey was worried the strands would disintegrate in her fingers. She heard Ben say her name, but she was too distracted by the feeling of his hair. She brushed one of his ears with her pinky finger then quickly traced a finger down his neck to where the hem of his shirt started. She cheekily stuck a finger under the top of his sweater before quickly bringing her hand back to grab a fistful of his hair.
Ben nudged Rey’s hip with his head and sighed, settling into the new position. Rey’s heart felt like it was beating so fast it would explode, but with each breath she took, she got more used to Ben’s head being in her lap.
“Rey.” Ben simply saying her name sounded like a confession of adoration. He pulled her closer in his hug, his soft hair touching her belly. “I miss you.” His voice was muffled, probably because his face was shoved into her leg.
“I know,” whispered Rey, her hand trailing back down his neck to rest at the top of his back. “I know, Ben.”
He untangled one arm from around her waist to pull the blanket on her lap down so that his chin was resting directly on her leg. His head tilted away from her hips.
Ben kissed the inside of Rey’s thigh.
Rey sucked in a deep breath.
Ben quickly looked up at her, apology all over his face. “I’m sorry, that was too much, I won’t—”
Rey grabbed him by a fistful of his hair and shoved his face back down into her lap, electing a low “Omph!” from Ben.
“Don’t. Stop,” she hissed in-between clenched teeth.
“Okay,” came the meek and muffled response.
His lips found her thigh again. Rey closed her eyes and leaned back until she felt her three buns bump up against the wall. Ben moved his head slightly, so that his long nose was just brushing the space in-between her legs.
Rey couldn’t breathe.
Ever so lightly, Ben moved his nose up and down, up and down . . .
Rey let out a noise she couldn’t describe if she had cared to.
“Rey?”
Rey swore and pushed Ben away from her with both hands. Ben fell flat on his back on the other end of the bed, his face so surprised it would have been funny in different circumstances.
“What—” he started.
“Shh! Don’t speak!” hissed Rey. “Finn’s coming.”
Ben froze, then his face turned red.
“Do you think he’ll see me?” he asked.
“I don’t know, just stay quiet,” Rey wrung her hands.
Finn stepped into the room, his hand on the doorsill. Rey turned her head to look at him and Ben followed suit, both holding their breath as they waited to see if he could see Ben. But Finn’s eyes were on Rey only.
“Rey, are you okay?” Finn asked, his face etched with concern. “Rose said you seemed upset earlier and I heard you cry out as I came on the ship.”
“Um,” said Rey. “I’m fine, Finn. I just had an, um, a—”
“Vison,” suggested Ben.
“Vison, yes, a vison,” nodded Rey.
“I can’t see him, Rey. It’s fine,” mumbled Ben.
“Okay,” nodded Finn. “A vison.” He walked towards Rey’s bed, intending to sit next to her.
Right where Ben was.
“Um, Finn—” started Rey, desperately trying to think of an excuse to stop him. But Finn sat down on the end of the bed—right on Ben’s lap.
Rey froze.
But neither Finn nor Ben seemed to notice that Finn was sitting on top of Ben. If she wasn’t so high-strung, Rey might have laughed at how they looked, Finn concerned and serious, sitting on Ben’s lap, while Ben stared at her, trying to keep up with the one-sided conversation he could overhear, completely unaware that Finn was sitting on top of him.
“A vison of what?” asked Finn, looking Rey in the eyes.
Rey looked at Ben, then back at Finn. Then back at Ben.
“What?” asked Ben. “What’s happening?”
“Just of…the Force,” Rey answered Finn feebly.
Finn raised an eyebrow. “The Force?” he repeated her.
“Yes,” affirmed Rey. “There’s so much to it, Finn. You wouldn’t believe…the stuff in the Jedi texts, what General Leia’s been telling me…” She trailed off, hoping that was enough.
“You’re doing terrible,” Ben told her bluntly. “Tell him you saw me burning orphanages or something. I’m not, and I won’t,” he added when Rey looked at him horrified.
“Ooookay,” said Finn slowly. “So what made you cry out?”
“I cried out?” Rey feigned innocence.
Ben stifled a snort. “The lies you tell to avoid any situation you don’t like…” he mumbled. Rey ignored him.
“Yeah, it sounded like you were in great pain. Did something…bad happen, Rey? In the vison? You can tell me anything, you know,” Finn fixed her with a warm gaze.
Yeah, but I don’t want you to know about this, thought Rey.
Instead she smiled. “I’m fine, Finn,” she assured him. “The Force’s power…sometimes it can overwhelm you.”
Ben made a noise so loud Rey jumped.
“If you say so…” Finn’s eyes trailed down Rey’s length. He frowned. “Wait, what are you wearing?”
“What?” said Rey blankly.
“That.” He pointed at her chest. “That black shirt…where did you get it?”
Rey’s heart stopped for a beat, as she remembered that she was wearing Ben’s shirt.
“Oh!” she squeaked. “Um, I found it! I mean, I found it in a…drawer. Of the Falcon. Must be one of Han’s old things.”
Ben frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Finn too was still frowning. “Are you sure? Because it looks a lot like…”
“Like what?” demanded Rey.
“…Like Kylo Ren’s shirt,” finished Finn.
Rey snorted. “Kylo Ren’s shirt? How would I have Kylo Ren’s shirt, Finn?”
“Oh, you’re talking about my shirt,” realized Ben. “I was wondering for a minute there…Is something on top of me, Rey? I feel this weight on my legs…”
Finn continued to frown at Rey, not answering her question. “I…don’t…know,” he said very slowly, suspicion slowly creeping into his features. “Rey, is there something you aren’t telling me? You’ve been acting very strange lately.”
“I’m just tired, Finn,” lied Rey and faked a yawn. “I just need some sleep and I’ll be better in the morning, you’ll see.”
“Okay,” said Finn, looking anything but convinced. He stood up and frowned at where he’d been sitting. On Kylo. “It felt super cold there,” he said. “And…heavy.”
“Draft,” answered Rey quickly. “Broken pipe up there. I’ll fix it tomorrow.”
“Alright then,” allowed Finn, heading for the door. “’Night, Rey.”
“Good night, Finn!” Rey called after him.
“Is he gone then?” asked Ben.
Rey waited until she heard the Falcon’s ramp close. “Yes,” she breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank the Force. You know, for someone who lies so often, you’re terrible at doing it, Rey,” Ben informed her, sitting back up.
Rey scowled at him. “You try lying to your friends day in and day out, see how you like it,” she snapped. “This has gone too far. I can’t believe—” She broke off and crossed her arms, looking stubbornly at the wall.
Ben sighed. Then he winced and put his bare hand to the side of his head. Rey glanced at him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, frowning.
“Nothing,” he mumbled, massaging his head.
“Ben Solo,” was all Rey said.
Ben raised his eyes to look at her. With a resigned sign and roll of the eyes he said, “Lately I’ve been hearing this…voice.”
“A voice?” frowned Rey. “What kind of voice?”
“Not a very nice one, that’s for sure.” Ben adjusted his position on his bed. He stared at his hands, one gloved and the other bare, leather and skin intertwining in his lap. “I thought I’d stop hearing voices in my head after I killed Snoke,” he said quietly.
At his last words, Rey felt as though her heart had shattered. She gulped, blinking back tears. “What’s it saying to you, Ben?”
“That I don’t know the truth…that there’s things I don’t know,” Ben was focused on his hands. “It shows me this place that looks like it’s made of ice. Lightening keeps flashing.” He met her gaze again. “It’s a dark place, Rey. Very dark. And it’s calling me there.”
“Like the cave at the bottom of Luke’s island,” whispered Rey.
“Someone’s there, Rey,” insisted Ben. “The person talking to me is there. And they want me to go find them.”
“Why?”
Ben leaned back on his arms. “Probably for no reason that’s an advantage to me,” he sighed. “I just wish it would get quiet. In here,” he tapped his head. “I hear it all the time, faint, in the background, but it takes over when I’m sleeping. Which is another one of those reasons why I’m not,” he nodded at Rey. “I just want to hear…nothing.”
“Come here,” Rey reached out her hands.
Ben looked at her apprehensively. “What?” he asked.
“I want to try something,” she said, wiggling her fingers. “To help you. Give me your hands.”
Ben sat back up. Tentatively, he took one of her hands in each of his own. They both sucked in a breath at the contact. Ben’s gloved hand thoughtlessly stroked the outside of Rey’s while his bare one clasped her hand tightly.
“Okay,” breathed Rey. She closed her eyes. “Don’t resist this. Open your mind to me.”
“What are you doing?” His voice was curious—and a bit scared.
“I don’t know,” Rey admitted. “Just…be with me.”
“I can do that,” he said quietly.
Rey focused on the serenity of her own mind. Lots of stress and frustration certainly clouded her thoughts, but no outside voice was in there. Not like Ben.
Yes, there. She felt it, like it was something she could grasp with her hands.
She forced all of that onto Ben Solo.
He let out a gasp.
At first, Rey’s hold was weak, liable to snap at any moment. But as the seconds passed, she gained more strength, more confidence. Ah, she was comfortable here. A small smile crept over her face. She wondered what Ben’s face looked like, but she dared not open her eyes. That might break her grip.
“Rey,” he said.
“No more voices?” she asked.
“No more voices.” His voice was firm. “Thank you. Rey.”
“We can stay this way for as long as you want,” she told him, eyes still closed.
“You might regret saying that,” Ben mumbled.
But Rey doubted it. She hadn’t felt this peaceful in a long time. This serene. Leia had shown her several different meditation techniques, but none of them made her feel as centered as this. Pulling her…Force, her being over Ben like an umbrella had made her problems seem smaller, like Ben was holding half of them for her. She could pin-point exactly where she fit in the galaxy, sitting here, eyes closed, holding hands with Ben. This was peace. This was belonging.
“Ben.”
“Rey?”
“Promise me something,” she said, feeling the Force flow between her and Ben, she could almost imagine strings holding them together. “If you decide to go that ice planet with the lightening, you tell me first, okay?”
“Alright.” His voice was quiet, but he wasn’t lying.
“Good,” smiled Rey and fell headfirst into Ben’s lap.
***
Ben’s eyes shot open as he felt Rey fall into his lap. He stared down at her.
“Rey?” his voice was panicked. He gently moved her to the side to better see her face.
Oh. She had just fallen asleep. Drool was pooling out of the side of her mouth. A smile spread across his face.
He tenderly wiped the drool from the corner of Rey’s mouth with his gloved pinky finger. His other hand hesitantly—shaking a bit—stroked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. His hand lingered in Rey’s soft brown hair.
Then Rey faded away. Their bond was disconnecting. Ben quickly got to his feet in case the absence of his connection to Rey’s bed made him fall uncomfortably from where he was floating. He looked around him.
Everything was the same as it had been before, except Rey—and his tunic—was gone. He was standing alone in a grey briefing room of his Star Destroyer.
And he could feel the voice start creeping in again.
With a sigh, he bent over to retrieve his discarded glove from the floor. But as he picked it up, his eyes jumped to something else.
The brown band that had covered Rey’s scar on her arm.
His ungloved hand reached out for it. He almost thought his hand would go through it when he made contact, but no; it was real, it was here. For some reason, their bond had decided it would stay with him and not Rey.
Ben straightened his back. He massaged the firm brow leather under his fingers, staring at what was left of Rey to him.
Alone on his mighty ship in the middle of space, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren brought the band to his lips.