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It looks like one of those typical Hollywood horror-movie basements: tiny windows at street level to let in the bare minimum of light, bare concrete walls and floor, a single lightbulb in the middle of the ceiling, and a flight of simple wooden stairs along the back wall. Part of the shadow in the corner pulls away from the ceiling and coalesces into the shape of a man, but still ragged at the edges. It approaches and sits on the floor in the middle of the room.
“How long are you going to keep me here?” he asks sullenly as I come down the stairs and sit with him.
“As long as you’re around, I guess.”
“Do you really think I’d ever leave?” he taunts me. “Just release me. The lengths you go through to keep me bound must be exhausting mentally. Just let me out.”
“You know it’s best for everyone if I don’t do that.”
He just nods. “So what’re we eating this time?”
“Fried chicken in red velvet cake batter. I saw it on the Internet.” Reaching behind my back, I produced a platter of chicken. The one thing I really loved about this realm was doing the impossible.
“Two of your favorite comfort foods in one convenient package?” He’s really trying to push my buttons. I try to keep focused on what my teacher had told us. Although, she had taught us to sit with it, not use food. Whatever. Unlike her, I wasn’t a Zen master.
I shrug. “It seems like a good idea.”
“You think you can just eat your feelings away?” he says as he snatches a drumstick from me. He knows they’re my favorite. He eats it whole, bone and all. I take a wing.
“Who said that’s what I was trying to do?”
“Why the hell else would you be here with me? And with a plate of food that you really like? You know you can’t banish me.” He’s really taunting me now, taking a breast portion from the plate and shoving it whole into his mouth, crunching the bones noisily. “It’s like that line Kenobi said to Vader. I’ll become stronger than you could ever imagine.”
Really? This shit-hook just compared himself to Obi-Wan Kenobi? Ignoring the implication that I’m the asshole, I continue.
“I know that,” I reply calmly. My teacher would be proud of me. I’m staying calm, and staying in the moment. “The more one tries to push Mr. Babadook away, the stronger you get. Big deal.”
“So since you can’t get rid of me,” he smirks, “why do you bother trying to keep me here?”
“Simple,” I say. “I can’t banish you. So, I’m keeping you. My Zen teacher says we should feed our hungry ghosts. That’s the only way we’ll ever be free of them, and the only way they’ll ever be free of us.”
“Ah! But when you sit zazen , you’re not supposed to be meditating on any given thing!” he crowed. “You’re just supposed to sit with whatever comes up. This ritual you’ve made for me is not really the Buddhist way.”
“Who the fuck said I was Buddhist? Just because there’s a Buddhist group I practice meditation with, doesn’t mean I’m Buddhist. One of the others describes herself as an Atheist with a Buddhist practice. Why can’t I be like that?”
“Bloody pagans,” the Babadook mutters. “You syncretists know nothing! The Sejiki Ceremony isn’t for months!”
“Again, who said this was a Buddhist ceremony?”
“You did, witch! You said you were feeding your hungry ghosts. Obviously, you mean me!” He takes the form of a man-like beast in a black frock coat and a top hat, bowing with a vicious grin.
“Shut up and eat your chicken,” I advise. He swallows the platter whole. “Pig.”
“I learned from the best,” the rat-bastard purrs. “What’s next?”
Reaching into the nothingness above me, I produce a New York cheesecake and some hot fudge to go on it.
“Oh-ho! Trying to bribe me with decadence, are you?”
“Bribing you is bribing me,” I say. “It’s a win-win.” I take a slice of the cheesecake and numb-nuts just swallows the dish. Again.
“I have to hand it to you, witch,” Mr. Babadook smiles, then belches. “Your binding spell was clever. Let’s see if you have the power to maintain control!”
I get up. “See you next month.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” He dissipates into formless darkness, swirls around me, then retreats to his corner. “Dook! Dook!”
“Don’t do anything I would do.” I start climbing the stairs.
“What? That doesn’t even make any sense, witch!”
“Well, you’ve got a month to puzzle it out, don’t you. Blessed be, asshole.”